Where Is The Love?
by bertiebert
Summary: This story follows the lives of two gay brothers, Xavier and Danny. Xavier tries to love again with his new boyfriend, Sam, while Danny and his long time partner, Tom, are tested by parenthood and the Army. M for a reason.
1. One Love

"_Mom, Dad," I addressed my parents._

_My oldest brother, Danny, stood next to me. He was my anchor and my savior._

"_Yes, Xavier?" My Dad replied, worried._

_I took a deep breath, and Danny rubbed my back comfortingly._

"_I'm gay."_

I awoke in a cold sweat, and my breathing was ragged. I checked my clock–7:15.

I sighed and pushed myself out of bed. I padded out into the living room, past all of my siblings' rooms, and sank down onto the couch. It wasn't that my parents hated me because I was gay, it was that I hated to disappoint them. Two of their children were gay now. Danny was gay, has been since he was 14, and was head over heels in love with his partner, Tom.

I was now with Sam, a very kind and very tall basketball player at my college. I met him my freshman year at the University of Georgia–three years after I came out to my friends, siblings, and parents–and he was my everything. I'd been in three abusive and scary relationships before Sam, and only he, his family, and my family know about them. He loves me even more that I would be brave enough to trust him in a relationship. Sam wouldn't hurt a fly, and he always treated me as if I was smaller and more breakable that he was even though I was only a half inch shorter than he was.

"Morning, Zay," Danny yawned as he walked past me.

"Mornin'," I mumbled.

"Did you have the dream again?" He asked, pausing to kiss my head.

I nodded, sighing.

"I'm so sorry that they tried to "fix" you because they didn't want you to follow in my footsteps. That was really unfair to you," he murmured, and I laid my hand over his on my arm.

"Thanks, Danny."

"Hey, no one else will be up for a few hours. Do you want to get Sam and Tom and go get an early breakfast?" He asked, wrapping his arms around my neck from behind me.

We were a very affectionate family, and weren't afraid to show each other affection even in public. My parents were raised in a very heterosexual time, and that was what caused the drastic measures they took with me.

"Sure," I replied.

"It's raining outside today, so warm and comfy clothes."

He disappeared into the kitchen, and I went to get dressed. I pulled on some sweatpants, a t-shirt and a sweatshirt. Danny was dressed as well by the time I came out of my room. I'd had another dream during the night, and it had cause this depressed and gloomy mood.

I sat in the passenger seat of Danny's Mountaineer as we drove to Tom's apartment.

"I had the..._other_ dream last night too," I mumbled to Danny.

He reached over and stroked my cheek with his fingertips. "I'm so sorry, baby. I wish all of that hadn't happened to you. You don't deserve it."

I smiled at my brother's kindness and gentleness. His mahogany colored hair curled and looked completely opposite from mine. I had straight blond hair.

I moved back to the back seat when we picked up Tom. I smiled when we stopped at Sam's house and he was waiting outside on the porch for us. He slid into the seat next to me, and leaned over to kiss me.

---

_I whimpered as I felt a hand come down hard across my cheek._

"_You're worthless."_

"_No one will ever want you."_

"_Why did I waste my time with you?"_

_I sobbed as the voices repeated these horrible things in my head to me. I tried to tell myself that they weren't true, but that was hard. Tears streamed down my face, and I was suddenly being shaken roughly._

I recoiled from whoever was shaking me, but it was just my second oldest brother, Aaron. He hushed me, smoothing my hair back. He wiped the tears from my cheeks, and sat down on the edge of my bed. I sat up and he wrapped his arms around me, rubbing my back as I curled up against him.

My family was always there for me and always loved me, no matter what. They put up with my nightmares and never asked questions.

"Shhhh, it's over, Zay. It's over. You're safe," Aaron whispered to me, kissing my head and rocking us.

My entire body shook and I tried to hold back the tears, but they kept coming. Eventually, both Aaron and I fell asleep in my bed and we stayed like that all night until we were waken up by our sister, Nicole, and Leroy, the middle child out of all of us.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I sat in the armchair in the living room in my house. I was curled up, my arms wrapped around my legs, and my head rested against the headrest of the chair. I heard someone pass and felt them stroked my hair. My parents didn't not love me, but they didn't show me affection as much anymore. So I knew it was one of my siblings. Probably Danny. I felt them kiss my forehead and smooth my hair back. I never opened my eyes, until I felt the lips leave my forehead but the hand stay on my head.

It was Danny.

"Come on. Get up. I'm taking you, Tom and Sam out to dinner. You've been in the house all day and something is obviously wrong," he explained, and tugged me up.

He stood in my room with his back to me while I got dressed.

"Zay, what's wrong? Please tell me. _Only_ me at least," Danny pleaded as we drove towards Sam's house.

I pushed my hair out of my eyes and swallowed hard.

"Did Sam do something?" He asked. "Did he hurt you?"

"No, Dan, he didn't do anything. It's me!" I cried.

Danny stayed quiet, waiting for me to continue.

"I can't even think about going further than kissing with Sam. I'm limiting him, and he doesn't deserve that! He deserves to be free with whoever he loves, not limited with me," I sobbed.

"Xavier," Dan started, his voice firm but comforting. "Sam loves you. He doesn't love anyone else. Don't ruin this just because you _think_ something is wrong. Don't be stupid."

I sniffled pathetically. "I'm going to go in and get him and talk to him for a minute. Go get Tom and come back to get us."

I unbuckled myself and pushed out of the car. I heard Danny pull away from the curb as I walked up to Sam's house. He was apparently waiting for me on the other side because he came out before I could even get to the door.

"Hey, beautiful," he crooned, smiling.

I smiled miserably and he knew something was wrong. He pulled me over to the rocking chairs on his porch and sat me down. He crouched down in front of me and held my hands in his. He was too good to me.

"What's the matter, Xavier?" He asked me.

"Me," I whimpered.

"Well, I don't think anything is wrong with you. Why do you say that?" He tried to soothe me.

I pulled one hand away from his and cupped it around his cheek. I stroked his cheekbone with my thumb and sniffled.

"I want so badly to go farther than kissing with you, but I just don't think I can. I don't want you to be limited by me, but I won't leave unless you think the same," I explained, tears still falling down my cheeks.

Sam's face changed to a mask of pure shock as if I'd slapped him. He stood up to his full height, which was quite intimidating from the rocking chair I was currently in. I dropped my hand back to my lap, and watched my hands as I wrung them together. I felt Sam's warm hands on my face, tilting my head up to look at him. He stroked my face tenderly, wiping away my tears and smoothing my hair back.

"I will never stop loving you, Xavier. Never in a million years will I want to get rid of you. I'm willing to never go farther than kissing with you, baby. I don't want to go farther with you unless you're willing or want to. I'll never push you," he murmured.

I heard a car pull up at the curb, but I lurched out of the chair and caught Sam's lips with mine. This was the first time we'd really kissed. We would give each other a peck every now and then, but never anything this deep. My hand hovered for a second before I cupped it around Sam's neck. We were broken apart when someone wolf-whistled from the street. We looked, and Danny was leaning out his window and Tom was leaning across him. My face warmed and Sam laughed, pulling me against him and kissing me again.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Xavier, we'll be gone only for tonight. We'll be back tomorrow morning," my mom told me, and I shoved my hands in my pockets.

"Okay," I mumbled.

My parents gave me one last look before they went out to the car. I sighed and Nicole put her hand on my arm.

"Be good," she told me, and I ducked my head to kiss her cheek. She kissed mine back and smiled.

"Love you, bro," Leroy said, hugging me.

"Love you too," I murmured, and he kissed my head.

Aaron pulled me into a hug and kissed my head. "Have some fun for me, okay, bud? You need to laugh some. You've been too sad and depressed lately."

I nodded and he ruffled my hair as he left. I looked up at Danny as he came to stand next to me, and he had his hands in his pockets too. His shoulders were tensed and hunched over.

"I'm going to worry about you the entire time we're in Atlanta, Zay. Please be safe and be careful. I want you to do something for me, okay?" He said.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Try, just _try_, to give Sam a little more tonight. Not everything, but some. I know you'll love him even more."

I nodded and Danny pulled me into a tight hug. He cradled my head in his hand and I hugged him back.

"I love you so much," he murmured into my hair.

"I love you too," I whispered.

Sam came up from behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist after Danny had left. He pressed a kiss to the back of my neck and smiled against the skin.

"I love you," he cooed.

I smiled and turned around, wrapping my arms around his neck. My cheeks warmed and I ducked my head as he cocked his head to the side and looked at me with a loving expression on his perfect face. He pursed his lips against my forehead in a tender kiss, and I snuggled closer to his chest. He chuckled and smiled, kissing my head.

"I love you more," I purred.

* * *

**Yes, so I know that this indeed is _Fan_Fiction, but I decided to post this on here as well as on FictionPress.**


	2. Finally

_Xavier_

Sam was the dominant one in our relationship and he never ceased to amaze me with his gentleness and loving gestures. His hand cupped my neck as he brought his lips to mine. He was only a half inch taller than me, but he always thought that I was so much smaller and more delicate than I actually was. My back arched as he rested his hand on my waist.

"Xavier," he panted, his hips pressing against mine.

Both of our very obvious erections brushed together, and my hips bucked up into his. He whimpered into the kiss. My head spun with the lack of oxygen, and I had to pull away. Sam laid his head on my chest, panting, and I stroked his hair.

"I love you so much," he whispered, kissing my neck.

I kissed his head, and murmured, "I love you too."

We laid in silence together for a while, until I finally worked up the courage to ask Sam the one thing I wanted from him.

"Make love to me."

Sam's head popped up, and I couldn't look at him. I didn't want to see his face.

"Zay," he coaxed gently. I still didn't look at him. "Baby, look at me."

I pulled my eyes to him, expecting to be rejected and hurt like every other time those words had come out of my mouth, and a tear slipped down my cheek without my permission. Sam's face was concerned and soft when I looked at him. He wiped the tear away and kissed my forehead.

"I won't reject and hurt you like all those other boys did. I will always give you what you want, and I will always love you," he promised me.

He pulled me up to sit with him and he wrapped his arms around me, holding me against his chest. He stroked my blond hair out of my face and rubbed my back.

"No one will ever hurt you like that again, baby," he crooned, kissing me on the lips gently.

He eased me back onto the bed and I recoiled slightly when his hand stroked me through my pajama pants. We were alone in my house tonight, and I was thankful. My hips lifted off the bed, pushing against Sam's hand. I was terrified to actually give myself to him, but yet I wanted him to have all of me. I knew he wouldn't push me. He'd had a serious relationship before he met me, and he wasn't a virgin anymore. I'd never felt loved by anyone but my family until I met Sam.

"Easy, sweetheart. I won't hurt you," he soothed me, stroking my hair away from my face.

His blue eyes were gentle and caring as I looked up at him. He cupped his hand around my cheek and stroked my cheekbone with his thumb.

"I won't hurt you," he repeated in a whisper, and brushed his lips over my forehead.

I nodded, "I know."

I trembled under his warm hands as they pulled my pajama pants off along with my boxers. My face flushed a bright shade of red but he distracted me by making me sit up and take my shirt off. His hands trailed over my chest as I laid back down. He tugged his shirt off, and I swallowed hard. This was happening. I started to shake, and my breath started coming in shallow, uneven gasps. Every time I'd gotten this far with someone, I'd been hurt. Emotionally, mentally, and physically I'd been hurt. I hid it so well from my friends, but when I was with Sam I couldn't hide anything.

I closed my eyes, trying to calm my breathing, and a minute later I felt Sam's hand on my cheek.

"Xavier? Sweetie, what's wrong?" Sam asked anxiously.

I opened my eyes and he was hovering over me. He looked scared and worried.

"Nothing, baby. I'm fine. Just––some memories," I soothed him. "God, you're so beautiful."

His cheeks flushed pink and I smiled. My eyes raked up and down him, taking all of his beautiful body in. I couldn't believe that I was finally going to give my virginity to my boyfriend. He was my life, and I never wanted to let him go. Even though I'd come so close to losing my virginity in all of my relationships, that never happened because I was always hurt before they ever got anywhere near where they wanted to be. They had always been rough and unloving and I'd always either made them leave my house or left theirs as fast as possible.

"This will hurt, sweetheart. But you just need to relax," Sam told me, and I stiffened when I felt him stroke my entrance with a slick finger.

"Relax, baby," he whispered, kissing my neck. "Shhhh, just relax."

I began to relax when his finger slipped inside me and I began to tremble with the pleasure of it. Sam smiled against my neck and left a soothing kiss on my shoulder.

"That's it, Zay. See, it's not too bad," he crooned, brushing his lips over my cheekbone.

I arched away from him slightly when he slid a second finger into me, but relaxed as the pain subsided quickly. When Sam was sure that I was ready, he pulled away and slid a condom on his erection. He leaned over me, pressing soft kisses to my face.

"I'm not going to risk your health. I have no idea if any of the boys I've been with had HIV or AIDS. I'm not going to get you sick. I will do everything to keep you safe," he murmured, and my heart swelled with the love I felt from and for him and with the fact that he would do that.

I kissed him, and winced when he eased himself inside me. The pain burned through me, but I locked my eyes with Sam's to distract me. The deep cobalt blue washed over the pain like cool water, soothing me. I tried to relax as he seated himself fully inside me, and his hand stroked the skin at my waist comfortingly.

"Are you ready?" Sam asked me, and I nodded.

He pulled out, and pain and pleasure shot through me. The pleasure was so intense that it was close to the point of pain. Sam panted out my name along with some professions of his love for me. My back arched roughly as he thrust back inside me and he pressed his lips to my forehead.

"I'm so glad I have you," he crooned, and continued to pull out and push back in.

"Baby, I love you. It doesn't hurt anymore, I promise. Make love to me like you mean it, Sam. I want to feel all your love for me," I whimpered.

Sam smiled and brushed his lips against mine. His hips began to move quicker and mine began to meet his.

---

I woke up with sunlight shining right on my face. I had my lanky body curled up against Sam's chest, and his arms were wrapped around me. Last nights events came back to me and I smiled. I could never regret what happened, and I would only love Sam more because of what happened.

I disentangled myself from Sam, and covered him up. He needed to sleep late today. He's given me so much, and he deserved to be taken care of. I pulled on some pajama pants, and immediately felt the soreness and pain from last night. When my siblings came back home today, they would immediately know what I'd done last night. I was never going to be ashamed of it, and I knew they'd just be proud of me.

Settling on the couch in the family room, I stretched out trying to ease the pain. I watched a college football game, and just thought about last night. Sam had been so beautiful as he made love to me. Sweat had glistened on his skin, making his body slid against mine, and his lips had worshiped every inch of skin they could reach.

The front door opened and Aaron came in.

"Morning, Zay. How was your sleep over with Sam last night?" He teased.

"It wasn't a sleep over, Aaron," I growled.

He raised his hands in surrender, and ruffled my hair as he passed me. Even though we always acted tough with each other, my brothers, sister, and I were never actually mean with each other. We loved each other and never meant to hurt one another. My brothers even would kiss my head or forehead when they would pass by me or whenever they just wanted to make me blush. Nicole and Danny were the most affectionate towards me. Nicole was four years older than me and loved me more than anything in the world.

"Hey, sweetheart," Nicole crooned, kissing my head as she passed.

"Good morning, beautiful," Danny greeted me, kissing my cheek.

I grinned at him. He was my favorite out of my siblings, and he was my best friend. He had the most infectious smile and no one couldn't not smile when he was smiling. I envied Danny for his guts and his bravery with being gay.

Now, Leroy, was shy and insecure. That is, until he found his calling in art and became a very well known artist in the state of Georgia.

"What's up, bud? Did you have fun while we were gone to Atlanta?" Leroy asked, smiling and smoothing my hair back.

None of my brothers were afraid to show me affection, even in public. Believe it or not, all my brothers were taller than I was. My dad was six feet and six inches tall and we were all tall. Even my mom was tall. She was five feet and nine inches tall. My sister was five feet seven inches.

I nodded and stretched out more on the couch as my parents walked past, greeting me. I stretched my legs out and gasped when pain shot through my muscles. Danny smirked at me, and my cheeks flushed red. I turned my attention back to the football game. He wait until the rest of our family was in the kitchen, and turned the TV off. He crouched in front of me, and laid his hand on my shoulder.

"Zay? Did you and Sam...last night?" He asked me, not wanting to make me uncomfortable but wanted an answer.

I turned my face away, and nodded. He let out a breath and pushed some hair away from my face.

"Were you okay?"

I knew what he meant, and nodded again.

"I'm glad you've finally connected with Sam like that. He loves you very much, Xavier. But don't ever let him hurt you," Danny told me.

I nodded once more, and wrapped my arms around my brother. He hugged me, rubbing my back, and kissed my forehead.

"Is Tom coming over today?" I asked him as he stood up.

"I think. We'll have to see. Are you going to tell Mom and Dad?"

I flushed again, and looked down at my lap. "I just...can't right now. It's too new and different. They'll have a heart attack when I tell them."

"Do you regret it?" He asked.

"No. I could never regret anything I do with Sam," I explained.

Danny smoothed my hair down as he walked back into the kitchen.

"Zay?"

I sat up when I heard Sam's sleepy voice from my bedroom. I stood, trying not to whimper, and made my way back to my room.

"What's wrong, babe?" I asked him.

He was sitting up in my bed his cheek flushed a light pink, and his lips full and slightly bruised. I'm sure I looked similar.

"I didn't know where you were. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Sam. Danny figured it out. They all just came back, and he knows now. I don't think I can tell my parents yet, but I can't ask you to keep it to yourself if you don't want to," I told him.

"Do you regret it yet?" He asked me.

"No," I murmured, moving to sit on the bed next to him. "I could never regret anything that I do with you."

We kissed each other languidly for a few moments, until I helped him up and into some of my sweatpants and a t-shirt. I put a shirt on too, and we walked as well as we could out into the living room.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"I heard you and Sam had fun last night," Tom said as I stood in the kitchen, making Sam and I lunch.

It was a rainy Saturday and no one wanted to do anything but stay inside.

Tom had come over and now he knew. Danny could keep stuff from our family, but not Tom.

I sighed. "Yeah. I'm gonna kill Danny."

"Now don't be mad at him. We've been there and done that, Zay. I don't think any less of you and Sam. I'm actually proud of you, as is Danny. You've finally found someone you can love and share that kind of experience with," Tom explained.

I sighed again, and nodded. "Thanks."

I took mine and Sam's sandwiches out into the living room where everyone was crowded around the Syracuse and Penn State football game.

I sat with Sam on the love seat, and I could tell all my family was happy that I was finally safe and happy with someone who loved me.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It's been three days since Sam had made love to me and I couldn't have loved him more. I checked to make sure no cars were coming down the street, but Sam was walking backwards across already, trying to coax me across to the art gallery Leroy was being showcased at. I didn't have time to call out to Sam as I saw the black car squeal out onto the street and barrel towards Sam.

The scream that was ripped from my throat was drowned out by the screeching of tires as the front of the car connected with his legs. His head crashed into the hood and then he rebounded and slumped to the ground. He kind of caught himself before his head could make contact with the ground, but he was hurt badly.

"LEROY!" I screamed desperately as I bolted over to Sam.

Leroy appeared in the doorway to the art gallery and immediately pushed through the quickly forming crowd to get to us. He called 911 and spoke to them as I tried to keep Sam calm. He was conscious and trying not to scream from the pain in his body.

I watched with worry and horror as they put Sam in the ambulance. I climbed up into the back with him, holding his hand.

"Are you his friend?" The EMT asked me.

I debated on whether or not to tell him the truth. I had to be honest. I didn't care if he didn't like that we were gay.

"I'm his boyfriend," I said.

I could tell he wasn't expecting that answer, and his eyes widened ever so slightly. "Oh, okay."

---

They'd examined Sam and had found his shin in his right leg was fractured in two places and his knee had become very swollen. I sat in the waiting room. It was freezing cold and I shivered even though I was in jeans and a sweater. Sam's favorite sweater on me. It was a dark hunter green.

"Zay?"

I looked up when I heard the familiar soft voice. Joanna, one of mine and Sam's best friends, stood in front of me, her blond hair pulled back into a messy bun, and her brown eyes worried and concerned. Jackson, Joanna's boyfriend, stood behind her, his hand resting on her back, and his light blue eyes were soft and gentle as he looked at me.

"Hey," I whispered.

"How are you?" Joanna asked gently, smoothing my hair back.

"I'm okay. I'm really cold though," I mumbled.

I realized Jackson was holding a sweatshirt and he handed it to me.

They sat with me forever, and I eventually laid on the bench with my head in Joanna's lap. She stroked my hair and I dozed on and off.

---

"Xavier? Honey, wake up."

I jumped and sat up quickly when I heard Joanna's voice in my ear and felt her hand prod me.

"Easy. Shhhh, it's just me," she soothed me, and smoothed my hair back.

"Where's Sam?" I asked anxiously.

"He's in his room. Jackson's in there with him while he wakes up. That's why I'm waking you up," she murmured, and kissed my forehead. "Come on. Let's go see him. Jackson has you and me some coffee or whatever too."

We walked together to Sam's room, and I bit my lip when I saw him. His right leg was just a lump under the sheets, but he was awake and talking to Jackson. Joanna moved over to Jackson and took a spot in his lap. Sam locked his eyes on me and I bolted over to him. I buried my face in his shoulder, and he rubbed my back.

"I'm fine, Zay. Shhhh, baby, please don't cry" he soothed me.

I nodded and sat back in a chair on the opposite side of his bed than Jackson was on.

Jackson gave me a cup of coffee and I sat in the chair, holding Sam's hand as I drank it.


	3. Recovery

"Zay, sweet boy, look at me," Sam pleaded.

I dragged my eyes to his, and he cupped his hand around my cheek.

"What's the matter, baby?" He cooed, giving me a sympathetic look.

"Nothing, Sammy. I'm just worried about you," I mumbled, and stroked the back of his hand.

I sat on the side of the bed without all the machines, and so this was the hand without the IV. I hated hospitals and needles, but I stayed strong for Sam. I had to stay strong for Sam.

"I know that you don't like hospitals, and I'm so thankful that you stay for me. I could never ask this of you, and I hope this doesn't bother you being here," Sam murmured, sitting up to kiss me.

"Its fine," I brushed him off, kissing him back.

I curled up in my uncomfortable plastic chair and Sam sighed, laying his head back on his pillow. He looked at me with a soft, loving expression and I smiled at him.

"I can't believe that even after all this has happened that you're perfectly fine and still here with me. I told myself while I watched you going through those doors to surgery that I would be strong even if you never came back out. I told myself that you may not survive, trying to get myself used to that fact incase it happened," I explained, sniffling back tears.

Sam sat up again and stroked my hair away from my face. My lips trembled and he tried to soothe me, to hush me. My eyes locked with his and I immediately felt better. He was here with me and he was alive and he was safe. I crawled into bed with him, and he wrapped me close to his lanky body.

"What was that name that you called me earlier?" I asked him, and he pressed his lips to my head.

"'Sweet boy?' It's just something I picked up from my cousin, Jack. He's also gay, and he calls his partner, Jacey, that pet name. I liked it, and decided to see if you liked it," he told me, pressing his lips repeatedly to my forehead.

I smiled, chuckling. "I love it."

Sam chuckled too, tilting my head up to look at me. "Good, because that's what I'm gonna call you now, sweet boy."

"Kat's mom calls Kat, her sister, and Joanna 'sweet girl'. Because you know Joanna is always at Kat's house whenever she goes home," I joked.

"Yeah. I miss her already. She's just got that genuine comforting aura about her, and Jackson is just a sweetheart," Sam commented.

"She does. I don't think I could have gotten through your surgery without her and Jackson."

Sam locked his lips with mine and cradled my head in his hand. I would have been perfectly happy to lay there forever, kissing Sam, except that Sam's doctor came in right then. He knocked on the door, scaring me, and I slid right off the side of the bed. I clattered noisily to the floor, and Sam gasped, leaning over the edge of the bed to check on me.

"Zay? Are you all right?" He asked me nervously as I pulled myself up and into the chair stiffly.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I breathed.

"Did I scare you? I'm sorry," the doctor apologized.

"No, it's fine. I'm okay," I told him, and watched Sam relax back onto his bed.

I knew Sam didn't believe me that I was fine. I'd hit my back pretty hard, and almost smacked my head too.

"I'm Dr. Lush," the doctor introduced himself to me.

"Xavier," I said, shaking his head.

"He's my boyfriend," Sam added, smiling shyly at me.

I expected a different reaction than a warm smile from the doctor.

"Really? I have a boyfriend myself. His name's Matthew," Dr. Lush told us, and I was instantly at ease around him.

I couldn't look as Dr. Lush went to check all of Sam's IV's and tubes. I felt a hand smooth my hair back, ruffling by bangs.

"Zay, sweetie, go to the caf and get something to eat," Sam crooned, and I pulled my eyes to his.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes, Xavier. Go. Do I have to make you? I'll get someone––no, _I_ will take you down there," he pushed, and gave me a shove to get me out of the chair.

I got up, kissed his forehead, and tore out of the room before I had to see any more needles and machines. My stomach churned and I wrapped my arm protectively around my abdomen. When I made it to the cafeteria, I got Sam and I both a Coke and pursed my lips against food. I would definitely hurl if I ate anything. I got a little lost on my way back up, and caught a glimpse of the ER. Something I did not want to see. As I steered away from those doors, my stomach turned. My head spun as I tried to make my way to Sam's room, but I collapsed into the chairs by the nurse's station; no one occupied the desk. I laid my head back against the wall, and my breathing was ragged and uneven.

"Are you okay?"

I picked my head up and looked up at a tall, slender man with light blond–almost white–hair and warm brown eyes. He looked genuinely concerned and worried.

"Yeah," I breathed. "I'm fine."

He inched a little closer and asked, "Why are you here? Is someone in your family sick?"

"My boyfriend was hit by a car. He's in room 643," I told him.

"Sam? My boyfriend is his doctor."

"Your Matthew! I'm Xavier, Sam's boyfriend," I introduced myself.

"Nice to meet you. Matt, please. Are you sure your okay? You looked kind of pale and sick," Matt fretted.

"I just...don't like hospitals," I mumbled.

"That's okay," he said, and leaned down to whisper something to me. "I don't either."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I yawned quietly, and Sam pulled my head down onto his shoulder. I was curled up against him in his bed, and tried to make myself as small as possible so I wouldn't hit his leg. I didn't want to cause him pain.

"Danny called today," I slurred tiredly.

"Oh, really? What did he say?" Sam inquired, stroking my hair away from my face.

"He and Tom...finally got to adopt," I sighed.

"That's so great! Did they adopt a baby or an older child?" Sam asked.

"They adopted a thirteen-year-old girl named Emily. They're going to come see us tomorrow," I told him, looking up at him sleepily.

He smiled gently and cupped his hand around my cheek. "Is she fucking scared to death? I feel so sorry for her. Her life's changed so much in just a week. Are they overwhelmed yet?"

I smiled and chuckled softly. "Probably. They're fine though. She's no trouble because she's just glad to have a family now. She could care less if she has two gay fathers, she just wants someone to love her."

"Mmm. I can't wait to meet her. Go to sleep, sweetpea. I'm too pumped full of medication to sleep right now. I'll watch over you," he murmured, kissing my head and nuzzling my face up for a kiss.

I nodded and buried my face in the crook of his neck and curled closer to his side.

---

Sam and I ate breakfast together that I'd left the hospital very briefly to get for us.

"Knock, knock." Tom knocked lightly on the door and peeked in.

We smiled at him, and Danny stepped in behind him, Emily tucked into his side. She looked terrified.

I smiled at her and she pressed closer to Danny.

"Oh, don't be like that, baby girl. That's Xavier. My baby brother, remember? He's your uncle. Just like Aaron and Leroy," Danny crooned, hunching over to better look at her.

"And that's Sam, Xavier's partner just like Danny is mine," Tom told her, and she looked up at him, nodding.

She wasn't stupid, but she was so scared. I stood, and she swallowed, watching me. I kneeled in front of her and she smiled shyly. Danny grinned, stroking her long brown hair, and I reached out to tuck her hair behind her ear.

"Hi, sweetie. I've heard a lot about you," I cooed, and she smiled wider.

I looked up at Danny and Tom and asked them, "Can she talk?"

She scoffed, giggling, and I wrapped my arms around her, picking her up.

As we all talked and Emily got to know Sam and I, she was laughing and joking with us. She was a witty little thing, and she was soon very comfortable around us.

"Are you hungry, angel?" Tom asked her as she sat on his lap. His hands rested on her belly, which wasn't flat or really muscled but was a bit pudgy, and his fingers spread out over it. She leaned back against his chest and laid her head on his shoulder. Seeing how much she trusted them after only a few days with them at home. They've been communicating with her for a while, but she was so trusting and loving with them physically.

She nodded and he kissed her neck softly.

"What do you want? Do you want to go get something?" He asked, nuzzling against her cheek and leaving a kiss there.

She thought, but when she looked at me I could see the pleadingly torn look she gave me. She didn't want to leave me, but she was hungry.

"Go with Tom, Emmy. You'll be back soon," Danny told her, leaning over to kiss her forehead.

She nodded, and slipped from his lap. He stood, and pulled her to his side, holding her hand. Seeing her so well taken care of and loved by my brother and his partner made me think of mine and Sam's relationship. Would we be able to take care of a child?

---

"Do you wanna go home, punkin'?" Tom asked, stroking Emily's cheek as she laid curled up against his chest.

She shook her head and her tired brown eyes locked with mine. She looked a lot like Tom and Danny and it was scary how similar they looked. She could be their actual child.

"Baby doll, go home with Tom. I'll come home in a little bit," Danny cooed, pulling her onto his lap and kissing her head.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and he froze. He recovered himself quickly and hugged her back. With a quick peck on the lips, she padded quietly next to Tom as he walked out the door.

"She's precious, Dan. Why did you adopt her?" I asked.

"No one adopts children her age, and she was so cute and shy. We couldn't say no to her when she asked us if we thought she would be adopted sometime. I couldn't bare to see her grow up and leave the orphanage with no family whatsoever," Danny explained.

"I hope she gets more comfortable around us," Sam said, and I rubbed my thumb over the back of his hand.

"She will. She doesn't really like hospitals, because she spent a lot of her life in one. She gets sick a lot, and one of the kids at the orphanage "accidentally" jammed a nail file into her arm once. She's terrified of metal nail files, needles, and hospitals. She really wanted to meet your guys today though, and she knew Tom and I would be here too," Danny told us, and my heart twisted painfully.

"So, are you living in Tom's apartment now?" Sam asked.

Danny nodded and his hands flitted nervously, as if he wanted to touch something. Or someone.

"Go home to your baby girl, Danny. She misses you already," I told him, and leaned back in the chair I was currently occupying.

"And how do you know that?" He asked as he stood, his knees popping loudly.

"Call it an uncle's intuition," I joked.

He laughed and kissed my head and patted Sam's head before he left.

"They're going to be great fathers. I don't care what people say, gay men are the best fathers any child could ask for," Sam said in all seriousness.

"That's true. They're very attentive and loving. She's in good hands," I replied.


	4. Hope

"How is she?"

Danny sighed and looked at me with tired eyes. "She's fine. Tom's in there with her."

Sam was settled on the couch, though his eyes flickered to the spare bedroom in Tom's apartment constantly.

Danny smiled slightly. "She's already started calling us both 'dad'. Occasionally 'daddy'. I love it when she calls us that. It makes me feel like I have something to live for in this world."

I'd never seen Danny this exhausted and sunken. He usually bright and ready to face whatever the world threw at him with a smile, but now he eased himself into the recliner and tried to relax. Though that couldn't happen with his baby girl sick and in pain in the other room.

"Tom's got her, Danny. Just sleep, or at least relax," I pleaded with him.

"Now I know how Mom and Dad felt when we were sick at night. Even during the day it sucks. Not that I don't want to take care of her, but I didn't sleep last night. Tom and I have been taking shifts staying up with her."

I sat down next to Sam, and he laid his head on my arm. I stroked his hair, which was getting longer, and kissed his forehead.

"Are you all right? Do we need to leave?" I asked him.

"No, I'm fine," he mumbled as he shifted, lifting his leg and resting it on the coffee table. He rubbed at his knee and grimaced. "I need more of my pain meds though."

I leaned forward and snatched the orange prescription bottle off the table and his drink. Sam downed two pills with the rest of his drink, and I replaced the bottle and cup on the table. When I glanced back at Danny, he was dead asleep in the chair.

I smiled and stood, covering him with the blanket on the back of the couch.

"Zay?"

I spun around when I heard the soft, pained voice behind me. Emily stood in the doorway to the spare bedroom that had become hers dressed in one of Danny's t-shirts.

"What is it, sweetheart?" I asked her.

She sniffed, a congested, wet sound, and looked unsure what to say.

I lifted my hand to smooth her hair back and she flinched unconsciously. My eyes widened, and I pulled my hand away as she took a cautious step back.

"Emily, baby, were you... hit at all when you lived in the orphanage?" I asked her carefully, kneeling down as I'd seen Tom and Danny do so much with her.

Her dull brown eyes searched mine for a moment, before she mumbled, "Yes."

"Who hit you?" I inquired.

She shook her head. "I don't remember. I could never see them very well. I knew they were really tall, like you and Danny."

_Ah,_ I thought. _That's why they kneel down in front of her. Make themselves look less intimidating._

"Well, none of us will ever hit you. We all love you too much. Can I pick you up?"

She smiled then, a smile that made my heart turn to goo. I took that as a yes, and slipped my arms around her.

"Is Tom asleep?" I asked her after I'd sat her next to Sam on the couch and gotten her a snack.

She nodded. "We were watching the Hannah Montana movie, and he fell asleep." She giggled at that, and I smiled.

We watched _Confessions of a Shopaholic_ just for her_,_ and as she started to yawn and sink lower in the couch she looked up at me for a moment and then at Sam. She nudged Sam a little, and he looked down at her.

"What's up, cutie?" He asked her.

"Can I lay against you?" She asked him.

"Of course," he told her, lifting his arm so she could snuggle up to his side.

She smiled and curled up under his arm. He rubbed her arm soothingly, and as he showered her with his gentle affection she dozed off.

Suddenly Tom jogged into the room, his eyes wide and scared. "Where's–"

He shut up when he spotted Emily curled up under Sam's arm.

"Is she bothering you? I can take her back into her room," he offered, rubbing his eyes and then moving to stand by Danny and stroke his curls away from his face as he slept.

"No, she's fine. We're trying to get her to be more comfortable around us, and it's apparently working," Sam joked.

Tom smiled, kissed Danny's head, and moved over to crouch in front of Emily. He stroked her hair comfortingly and pressed his lips to her forehead. She smiled fleetingly in her sleep, and shifted, curling closer to Sam.

"Tom, you and Danny do know that she was hit at the orphanage before, right?" I asked.

He sighed and dropped his head. "Yes. That's why we always kneel down in front of her. We're less intimidating if we're at her level. Even though I'm not as tall as Danny or you, I'm still taller than her by quite a few inches."

"How tall is she?" Sam asked.

"5-feet-2-inches. I'm 6-feet-1-inch and Dan's 6-feet-8-inches. She's tough though, don't underestimate her. She'll kick your butt. She's already given me several bruises from when we played together on the floor," Tom explained, and smiled as he thought back on the apparently fond memory.

"Does she have any friends?" I asked him.

Tom made an indifferent looking face. "She has one good friend. His name's Felix. They keep in contact and they'll meet up every now and then. He's fifteen and he was adopted a few years ago but they never lost contact. His adoptive family loves Emily too, and wished they could have adopted her as well. I've seen them interact with each other. He's very loving and affectionate with her. Almost like a brother, though I can tell that he loves her so much more than as a sister."

I nodded and Emily stirred. She yawned and pushed herself up into a sitting position. Tom smiled at her, smoothing her hair back and leaning forward to kiss her forehead. She got up and crawled on top of Danny. He opened his eyes, looking at her.

"What's the matter, sweetpea?" He asked her, sitting up.

She settled more comfortably in his lap, snuggling up to his chest. "Nothing."

He smiled and kissed her head. I could hardly stand to watch either of them with her. They treated her like she was the only thing that they lived for.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Hey, Em. Is Danny or Tom there?" I asked when Emily picked up the phone.

She sighed irritably, and sniffled. "I'm not three, Xavier. What do you want?"

"Gosh, so snappy. I was wondering if you, Tom, and Danny wanted to come over and have Chinese for dinner with all of us," I said, knowing how much she loved Chinese food.

She was quiet for a minute, before she said, "Be right back."

She sat the phone down and I laughed. Sam's knee popped as he stretched his leg out.

"Ouch," he mumbled.

"You all right?" I asked him, leaning over the back of the couch.

"Yep. My knee just popped. How much longer do I have to wear this brace? It's a bitch to sleep in," he whined.

I smiled and smoothed his hair back, ruffling it. "Only a few more weeks, baby, I promise. How about you have someone kick you in the shin with it, hm?"

He flushed when I brought that up. "I said I was sorry! I can't help it anyway. I don't mean to."

"It's all right, Sam. I was just kidding," I soothed him.

"Hey, I was told something about Chinese food," Danny said on the phone, and I turned my attention to him.

"That's right. Are you in?" I said, smiling.

"Definitely. We'll be over in half an hour," he replied.

"'Kay. Bye," I said, and we hung up.

I ordered the food, making sure we had pork lo mein for Emily and Tom. That's the only Chinese food they'll eat, and they eat a lot of it.

---

"If I have to listen to another Adam Lambert song, I swear I will go find him and hurt him," Tom fumed as I let the three of them in.

Emily pushed past me and sniffled.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Danny sighed, shook his head, and looked at Tom.

"Go!" He ordered, pointing down the hall that Emily had disappeared down. Probably to Danny's old room. "You hurt her feelings so now you have to fix it!"

Tom took off after Emily and I heard her yell at him to leave her alone.

"What happened?" I asked Danny again.

"She found out about the American Idol runner-up, Adam Lambert, and she's very fascinated with him and loves his music. Tom's sick of his music now because she plays it so much," Danny explained.

"You guys are a real family now because you're fighting and yet you still love each other... I think," I joked.

Danny laughed. "Shut up, you little twerp."

I laughed with him and then when we heard a soft sniffle, we turned towards the hall. Tom stood in the doorway to the hall with Emily in his arms. She was still so sick, and I felt so sorry for her.

"Did you guys kiss and make up?" Danny teased.

Tom made a face and shifted Emily in his arms. "Yes, Danny. We did."

He smiled and moved over to kiss Emily's forehead soothingly and stroke her cheek. "You can listen to whatever you want, baby girl. Neither of us will care."

"That's right. We could never tire of hearing your beautiful voice, angel," Tom crooned.

She smiled a tired and shaky smile and they both kissed her cheeks. She giggled and I looked at Sam. He was watching them, smiling. I took his bottle of pain medication off the end table and tossed them at him. The bottle hit him square in the forehead and he glared at me. I laughed and Emily giggled along with me, having seen it.

I hoped sometime, if Sam and I stayed together for as long as Tom and Danny have, that we could have what they had with Emily. I wanted a family, and I knew that when and if we did adopt a child I would love it more than myself.


	5. Photos

Danny stayed the night because Mom and Dad wanted to talk to him about something. I was just about to go to bed, thanking God that I had a three day weekend, when the phone rang. Danny picked it up, and left the kitchen table where he, my mom, and my dad were sitting. I heard him in his old room.

"Darling, it's late. Is everything okay?" He said.

Emily had called him.

It _was_ late. It was almost midnight. I figured her being sick would have made her conk out once Tom got her home.

There was silence in his room, and I could almost hear him getting worried.

He chuckled softly once, and murmured, "I love you too. I know that it was my turn to sleep with you tonight, biscuit. How about I sleep with you two nights in a row and then if your still sick, we'll go back to the normal thing."

She must have agreed, because he told her, "I'll be home early tomorrow morning, sweetheart. I promise."

I heard him sigh.

"You need to go to bed, little one. What's that?" A pause. "I know I won't be able to give you a kiss. I apologize times infinity for it. I'll be sure to give you lots of kisses when I get home."

She must have agreed again because he tried to tell her he had to go, but was cut off.

"But...baby," he countered. "You need to go to sleep. You're sick, and you need rest."

There was a long pause and my breathing picked up as I awaited the continuation of their conversation.

"That's my girl. I love you so much, sweetie. I'll see you in the morning," he cooed.

After a moment, he ended the call and stood from his bed.

"You still out there, Zay?" He called.

I took off into my room and heard Danny's fading laugh as I closed my door quickly.

---

I awoke with a start when the phone rang shrilly through the house. I got up, stumbling to it in the family room.

"Hello?" I grumbled.

"Zay?" Tom asked.

"Yes. What is it, Tom?" I sighed.

"How fast can you get to the hospital?"

"What?!" I half-yelled.

"Emily's sick. We're at the hospital. How fast can you get here? I have to go by my work and Danny's work to tell them that we can't come in for a while. Emily wants to see you too," he explained.

I couldn't say no now that I knew she wanted to see me.

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes," I said and hung up.

---

"What room is Emily Lynch-Smith in?" I asked the nurse anxiously, and she searched through her computer for the number.

"642, sir. Are you a family member?" She asked.

"Yes, I'm her uncle," I told her, and took off down the hall.

I knocked on the door and pushed it open carefully. My stomach churned when I saw Emily in the bed. She was soaked to the bone with sweat and her chest rose and fell so fast and erratically. She was asleep, but she still trembled in her sleep.

Danny's shoulders were curled forward and his head was his hands, elbows planted on his knees. I realized his shoulders were shaking and immediately moved over to him.

"Danny? What's wrong?" I asked him, crouching down next to him.

He shook his head and picked his head up from his hands. His face was red, tear-streaked, and swollen. His mahogany curls were matted to his forehead with sweat.

He swallowed, and licked his lips. "They took some blood from her and tested it to see what she had," he explained. "She has pneumonia..."

"Well," I started.

"And she's HIV positive."

I fell silent.

"Does Tom know?" I asked him.

He nodded and a tear slipped down his cheek. I'd never really seen him cry before.

"Dan?"

He shot out of his chair when he heard Tom's voice. I stood and leaned over Emily. I took the damp cloth from the side table and wiped at her forehead. I smoothed her bangs that swept to the side back and kissed her forehead. I turned slightly and caught a glimpse of Danny and Tom.

Danny had his arms wrapped around Tom as Tom sobbed into his chest. It was amazing how they interacted and loved each other.

"Shh, I know, baby. We just have to get through it. We have to stay strong for her," Danny told him, kissing his head.

Tom nodded and pressed even closer to Danny.

I looked back down at Emily and she stirred, her fingers curling slightly. Her warm brown eyes opened, and she whimpered. I smoothed her hair back and then slipped my hand into hers.

"Hey, sweetie," I whispered, and leaned down to kiss her cheek.

I moved away from her when Tom and Danny crept up next to her. She deserved them as her fathers. They doted on her all the time, gave her anything she wanted, and protected her at all costs.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I had my feet propped up on the foot of Emily's hospital bed as Tom, Emily, and I waited for Danny to come back with food for us.

Emily has only been in the hospital for a day, but she was so sick that she didn't care where she was. She perked up a little when Danny came back, and he smiled, kissing her forehead.

"I'm going to your school's meet the teacher night, darling. I'll be back in a few hours," he told her.

He kissed us all and left. She was supposed to have started school about a two weeks ago, but she was too sick to go.

I had to leave to go back to school because my professors would only let me have one day off. I cast one last glance at Emily and Tom before I left. Emily had shifted over and Tom was laying with her. She was curled up against him, and he held onto her like she was the only thing that kept him anchored to this world.

"Bye, Zay," Emily whimpered.

"Bye, sweetheart. Feel better," I crooned, blowing her a kiss.

She smiled slightly and rested her head on Tom's chest.

---

"How is she?" Sam asked when I threw myself on my bed in our apartment.

"She's so sick. It breaks my heart," I mumbled.

He sat down next to me, and smoothed my hair back. "She's tough. She'll get through this."

I nodded, and swallowed hard. I shook my head then. "You didn't see her. She looked so...weak. She looked smaller than she was. Even Tom looked so much bigger than her."

Sam stroked my hair and leaned down to kiss my forehead. He stretched his leg out, which was finally out of the brace, and his knee cracked. I smiled and sat up, slipping down to the floor. As physical therapy, Sam had taken up swimming. He was on a swim team, and he was seemingly hairless. He had on a pair of cotton sleep shorts and no shirt. I kissed up his leg, whispering to him between kisses.

"I'm so." Kiss. "Glad." Kiss. "That." Kiss. "Your leg." Kiss. "Is finally." Kiss. "Okay."

He smiled as I pushed him down onto my bed. I crawled up onto the bed, hovering over him, and he chuckled.

"Feeling a little dominant today," he teased.

I laughed and kissed him. "Baby, you drive me crazy. Let me make love to you."

He groaned. "God, that sounds so sexy. Yes, Zay. Make love to me, sweetheart."

Our lips crashed together and our clothes were torn from our bodies in our haste to get closer. Sam getting hurt, Emily getting sick; it all was too much. He didn't mind me just wanting to get in his pants because he knew that I was in turmoil about all that had happened. Though I was sure that I didn't have any diseases, I put on a condom as Sam continued to kiss me. He laid back as I pulled away from him and, as if doing this was nothing to him, relaxed onto the bed. I didn't want to hurt him, but he reached up and stroked my cheek.

"You won't hurt me, sweet boy. I promise. This isn't new to me," he promised me.

I nodded and as I slid inside him, I'd never felt anything so amazing.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I pushed myself up groggily, and sat on the edge of my bed. I had a physics class at nine, and it was seven. I figured Sam and I could get breakfast before our classes.

I felt Sam shift in the bed and sit up, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Good morning, sweet boy," he murmured, kissing my shoulder blade.

"Morning, baby," I said, and brushed my fingers over his hands.

"How did you sleep?" He asked, and nuzzled against my back.

I sighed, and rubbed at my temples. I'd had nightmares the entire night. I didn't think I could love someone as much as I now loved Emily. She was the one thing in the world that I _had_ to protect and love. Sam didn't need protecting because I'm sure he could take care of himself being as tall as he was. But Emily was only a little over five feet tall and she had a horrible immune system. She would always need protecting.

Sam's hands moved over my back and kneaded at the knotted muscles. "Sweetheart, you can't go to your class today. You're exhausted, and your parents called early this morning asking for you to come home."

"I thought I felt you get up," I mumbled. "Well, then I guess I'm going back home today. Are you coming too, or are you staying?"

"I have two classes today. I'll see you either tomorrow or later today. Your mother sounded a little hysterical, so I'm assuming you...need to go...fast," he trailed off as I bolted off the bed and to my closet.

I put on a pair of jeans and a sweater. I pulled on my sneakers, grabbed my jacket, and kissed Sam goodbye. He waved to me from the doorway to my room, his sweatpants riding low on his sexy hips, and I blew him a kiss.

---

My mother was in fact a bit hysterical. She wouldn't tell me why, but when Emily came running through the door to me, one of my fears was soothed. She threw her arms around me, burying her face in my abdomen. I stroked her hair, about to ask her what was wrong, when Tom walked through the door.

His brown hair was shaved into the traditional military haircut, and he was in his fatigue pants and a white t-shirt. I held Emily tighter and my second fear was confirmed.

"You're being deployed?" I asked in a breathless voice.

He nodded, and looked back as Danny came into the house. He rubbed his arm, trying to comfort him, but it didn't work. Danny dwarfed anyone at his 6-foot-8 height, but right now he seemed so small and vulnerable. This was the one thing though that he'd dreaded ever since he found out Tom was in the Army.

"Angel, come here," Tom coaxed, tugging Emily away from me.

I realized she was crying when she tossed her arms around Tom's neck while he bent down to pick her up. They loved to hold her; barely ever letting her stand on her own two feet. Tom, holding Emily in one arm, wrapped the other around Danny's back. Though Danny was mostly the dominant one in their relationship, this was just a time when Tom had to be there for Danny. Tom had only ever been deployed one other time and it was when he was young, barely knew Danny, and he was only gone for a few months.

Emily's head rested on Tom's shoulder, and she looked worn and exhausted. As Tom pressed his lips to Danny's forehead by his temple, a flash went off and I jumped. Leroy stood next to me, and he smiled at me. He showed me the picture on his camera, and it took my breath away. It was amazing. I didn't know how he did it, but Leroy could make anything look stunning as a photo.

He draped his arm over my shoulder, and pulled me against his side.

Aaron and Nicole joined us and we spent the last moments we had with Tom before he left tomorrow morning. I knew Danny and Emily were going to show up at the house sobbing messes after he left. Leroy was great with Emily and he would most likely get her while Mom and Nicole got Danny.

Tom was a soldier that was taught to protect people. He naturally protected Emily, because that was ingrained into him. Protect, protect, protect. He couldn't really protect someone who was six inches taller than he, but he sure as hell tried.

Nicole and Mom were trying not to cry while Tom hugged us all and then took Emily back from Danny when he was done. He would hardly let go of her for long. While Danny hugged Mom and Dad, Leroy snapped a picture of Tom kissing Emily's forehead. Their eyes were closed and it was just a peaceful and empowering photo. Earlier, he'd gotten one of Tom and Danny embracing while Emily was distracted with Aaron and the TV. The pictures he's snapped all night long would most likely show up in Tom's apartment.

I felt as if a piece of my heart was gone when Danny shut the door behind him.

"Oh, she's going to be a wreck tomorrow. She just got out of the hospital, and now she's losing a father. And they're expecting her at school the day after," Mom was whispering to Dad when I finally shook myself back to reality.

I had to go back to school, but I felt as if I was just a shell all the way back. I couldn't stand to think of what would happen if Tom didn't come back.


	6. Departure

_Danny_

Tom was up early, and I felt his lips press to my forehead when he got up. I dreaded getting up this morning. But when I felt little warm hands prod me, and Tom chuckle as he said something, I had to get up.

I cracked one eye open and Emily was kneeling on the bed next to me while Tom leaned over her. She was smiling as he spoke to her, and she prodded me again.

"Daddy, get up," she whined.

I chuckled and pushed myself. "I'm up, baby girl. Morning."

She smiled and I kissed her forehead. Tom smiled and kissed her cheek.

"Come on, Danny. We're going to be late," he told me, and I felt my face heat up.

I nodded and swallowed back my tears. As Tom left the room, Emily scampered after him, her too long pajama bottoms making her stumble slightly. I showered quickly and dressed in Tom's favorite shirt on me and some jeans. When I walked out, Tom had his arms wrapped around Emily and was leaning over her. She was laughing and he was smiling as he made her laugh harder. I smiled tightly and wished that this didn't have to happen. She was in the jeans that he'd bought for her, and his favorite t-shirt on her–a pink American Eagle T-shirt with 'Whole Lotta Love' written on the front in big letters. He was in his fatigue pants, a white T-shirt, and his fatigue jacket was draped over the arm of the couch along with Emily's sweatshirt.

He straightened when he saw me in the doorway to our room, and Emily quieted. I didn't want them to do that just because I was in the room. They knew how much him leaving was hurting me, but they didn't have to sacrifice their enjoyment for me.

"Are we ready?" I asked.

They both nodded silently, and I spotted Tom's backpack by the front door. I realized I was shaking, but I shoved that to the back of my mind.

"Alright. Let's go."

---

With Tom's fatigue jacket and pants on, he was given many thank you's as we walked through the airport. Emily and I got some sympathetic looks as well. They obviously knew what we were going through. Emily held onto Tom's hand the entire time, but when we stopped just outside of security she stepped away, letting me hug him first. Tom took a deep breath, and I smiled briefly.

"I know you'll do everything you can to protect us," I whispered.

"I'll protect you both with my life, you know that. I just wish I could do it with you both in my arms," he choked out.

I nodded and pulled him against me.

"Please, for the love of God, be careful," I pleaded, tears threatening in my eyes.

He nodded, swallowing back his own tears. Though when Emily looked up at him with that look of pure sadness, tears brimming in her beautiful eyes, he lost it. She buried her face in his jacket and a sob racked her tiny body. He buried his face in her hair and spoke to her so softly I couldn't be sure he was actually speaking. When they pulled away from each other, both their faces were red and tear-stained.

"I love you both so much. I can't promise that I'll come back, but I'll be sure to fight as hard as I can to try and come home. I know you'll both be strong for me, and I will for you. Don't ever doubt that I love you, either of you. I will write to you every week and, whenever I can, we'll do a video chat just so I can see both of your beautiful faces. I love you," he told us, tears still gushing down his cheeks.

We both hugged him at the same time, and Emily continued to sob as he walked away. After he passed through security, he turned and waved, blowing us each a kiss.

I held it together long enough to get us to my mom's house, and then we both went to pieces on the couch in the family room.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Leroy held Emily while he sat in the armchair with his feet up on the ottoman. He stroked her hair and she sniffled pitifully. He kissed her forehead and she snuggled closer to him.

"Can I get up for a minute, darlin'? I'll be right back, I promise," he asked her, and she shifted so he could get up.

He was gone for only a moment, and she crawled right back in his lap when he sat back down. He had a folder in his hands, and he let Emily open it.

Her eyes filled with tears again as she looked at whatever the folder held. She flipped through the papers she held, and I realized that they weren't papers but photos. She looked up at me, and my heart broke at the sight of her face. She took the top photo from the stack and held it out to me with a shaking hand. I took it from her, and my face crumpled when I looked at the picture. It was a picture of just Tom all decked out in his fatigues. He was grinning at the camera, and though it was a black and white photo it seemed as if he was right there in front of me. He seemed happy to be the soldier that he was, protecting the country he loved.

"Danny."

I turned when I heard my name. Leroy had said it and he looked at Emily. She was holding another picture out to me, and I took it.

"Thanks, baby girl," I whispered.

She went back to her stack of pictures, laying her head on Leroy's chest.

The picture I held was the picture of Tom, Emily, and I when we'd first come into the house to tell everyone. Tom had his lips pressed to my forehead, and Emily's head laid on his shoulder. I realized just how worn out Emily and I looked compared to Tom. He was used to this, and it only wore on him when he had to look Emily in the eye and tell her that he couldn't kiss her goodnight anymore until he came home.

"Daddy..."

My head snapped up faster than it did when I heard my actual name, and I locked eyes with Emily. Her normally lively brown eyes that had an olive green mixed in were dull and looked like the color of mud instead of chocolate. She handed me another photo, and my breathing caught in my throat.

It was a picture of Tom, Emily, and I at the airport. I looked up at Leroy.

"You were..."

"Yes. I was behind you by the doors," he told me, rubbing Emily's back.

It was when Tom and I were talking, and Emily was looking in the other direction. But she was looking straight at the camera.

"You knew?" I asked her.

She nodded, swallowing back tears while she looked at another photo.

The tears on her face stood out in the black and white coloring. Every picture Leroy had of Tom, Emily, and I like this was black and white, adding to the emotion. The tears were shiny and easily spotted against her skin.

"Do you like that one, sweetheart?" Leroy asked Emily as she stared at the picture on the top of the stack.

She looked up at him, tears spilling over her long lashes, and nodded once. She wouldn't let me see the picture, but I respected her. She would show me in time.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I walked with Emily into her middle school. She was an 8th grader. She was appropriately dressed in a white t-shirt and camo pants. She liked to mimic Tom's outfit that he wore occasionally. And she decided to honor her father on her first day of school. She had a copy of her favorite pictures of Tom, her, and I turned into a collage folded up in her cargo pocket where it was buttoned safely in.

I so wished that Tom could have come as well, but I couldn't dwell on what I wished.

"Good morning, sir. How can I help you?" The lady behind the desk in the office asked.

"This is my daughter, and today's her first day," I told her.

Emily shifted closer to me, and looked down at her sneakers.

"What's her name?" The secretary asked.

"Emily Lynch-Smith," I said, and reached for her hand.

Emily grabbed onto my hand at the mention of Tom's last name, and breathed deeply. Just the smallest mentioning of him could brake apart our facade of being okay with him leaving.

"Oh yes. You're in room 743. Let me call and get the student that's assigned to show you around today to come down and get you. You can leave if you want, sir," she said.

"I think I'll stay." I moved over to the couch in front of the window that looked out into the hall with Emily.

A few minutes later, a girl about the size of Emily with wavy blond hair opened the door to the office.

Emily and I stood, and the girl looked a little scared when I rose to my full height. I'll admit, I was pretty scary at 6-foot-8.

"Hi," she said to Emily, still eyeing me nervously. "I'm Delia."

"I'm Emily."

I watched my baby girl walk out the door but she turned around and waved at me. I chuckled, waving back.

"Is she your only child?" The secretary asked me.

"Yes. She's my everything," I said, smiling fondly.

"Is your wife at work today?" She asked me.

"No, I don't have a wife. My partner was just deployed to Iraq yesterday," I told her.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I hope he comes home safely then," she said.

"Thank you."

I left the school when the feeling that Emily wasn't going to make it through the day.

---

I got a call from the school at about 1:45. They told me to come to the school immediately.

I bolted from my car as I pulled up in front of the school. I skidded to a stop when I saw Emily sitting with her black and grey plaid backpack on the couch in the office.

"What happened?" I asked the secretary.

"Apparently she started crying during one of her classes and the teacher wasn't too nice about it..." she trailed off because I was at Emily's side before she barely finished talking.

"Sweetheart, what made you cry?" I asked her.

Paper crinkled in her hand and I realized she was holding the paper with all the pictures of Tom on it.

"What happened, sweetie?" I prodded.

"I was looking at it during class and I started crying and the teacher took my paper away from me when I tried to hide it and yelled at me about not paying attention. I yelled back at them about him being deployed and then some stupid kid said something about me talking about you earlier, so I just told the entire class that I had two gay dads. I totally humiliated myself in front of my class," she whimpered.

"Oh, baby doll," I whispered, smoothing her hair back.

She sniffled and looked down at her paper. She brushed her fingers over the picture in the middle of him grinning at the camera in his fatigues. He was always such a lively person and was always so kind. I hoped we got him back soon.


	7. Surprise

_3 Months Later_

Emily looked up from her dinner of pasta when the computer beeped. Tom has been gone for a little over three months, and it was nearing Christmas. We've received letters from him every week–one for each of us–and have done at least one video chat a week as well. Emily bolted out of her chair and into the rolling chair in front of the computer. We had an iMac and she absolutely adored it. She clicked around on the screen for a moment, and then Tom appeared on the screen.

He smiled. "Hey, baby. What are you and Danny up to?"

I moved over from the table and crouched next to Emily.

"Nothing. We were just eating dinner," she told him, grinning.

"I just wanted to check up on you guys. Is it cold there at all?"

"Nope. Still warm," she replied.

He nodded, and said, "Well, I have some good news."

"Let's hear it," I prodded, pulling a kitchen chair up next to Emily.

"Are you ready for this? I think we need a drum roll. Hey, can you guys give me a drum roll?" He spoke to the guys behind him, and they all pounded on the table until he cut them off.

"We're coming home!" He cried happily, grinning at us.

"What–are you serious?" Emily asked, breathless.

"Yeah! They called in a newer–and much bigger–unit to take over for us and so we're coming home!"

"Oh my God!" Emily shrieked, seeming so happy that she didn't know what exactly what to do.

I hugged her and we laughed. This was the best Christmas present anyone could give us.

Tom laughed as Emily gushed about her last week of school before Christmas break. She was so happy to be on break.

"Well, it sounds like you had fun. I'm so glad you haven't been sick while I've been gone, angel. I couldn't bear to hear about you being sick while I was so far away," he said, and she nodded. "Can I talk to Danny for a minute, baby doll? I promise you can come right back and talk to me."

She nodded again and pushed away from the desk. She went into her room and I could hear the keys on her cell phone click. She was texting her friends most likely. Probably telling them that Tom was coming home.

"Has she been doing okay in school, Dan?" Tom asked me.

I sighed. "Yeah. She's trekking through, but she doesn't have very many friends. Once a lot of kids found out about her having us as dads they singled her out and they pick on her a lot," I told him.

He rubbed his hand over his face and sat his chin in his palm. "Maybe, when I come home, I can talk to the kids in her grade about the Army and stuff like that. Maybe it'll change things a bit. But, we'll see. Oh, how I wish I was there to hold you and tell you that we'd help her through this. How I wish I was just there period. Or to help Emily along with friend troubles or her homework. I've missed so much in her life as a teenager already. I'm so, so sorry that you've had to put up with everything while I've been away."

"No, don't say that. You couldn't help this," I told him, and just wished to touch him again.

I had a hollow ache in my chest and it was killing me not to be able to soothe it.

"What's on your mind, sweetheart?"

I glanced up at the screen and Tom's head was cocked to the side. He looked genuinely worried and concerned. His grey eyes were soft and gentle.

"You," I breathed.

He smiled softly and shifted in the chair he sat in. "I wish you weren't so sad." Then he tried to changed the subject. "Your hair's getting long; you should get it cut."

"I can't help that I'm sad, Tom. I'm sorry if it bothers you. But you being gone for so long has worn on me, I'm sorry," I muttered, instantly regretting my choice of words.

He sighed and I felt even worse. "It's fine, baby. I just don't want to see you so sad. It doesn't look right on your adorable face."

I smiled then, and I heard Emily walk up to her door.

"Daddy?" She said, smirking.

"What?" Tom and I said together.

She started laughing and we had to laugh with her.

"I love doing that. It's so funny," she said, giggling.

I smiled and waved her over.

"Sit and talk to your father. He needs to know more about what's happened lately," I told her, sitting her in the chair in front of the computer.

I went into the kitchen and I only heard bits and pieces of their conversation, but I heard my name a few times.

"I worry about him sometimes; he's very depressed," I heard Emily say softly.

"I'll be home in a few days, baby. I'm sure he'll be better then. Me leaving was one of the things that he was so worried about," Tom said.

I guess Emily nodded because he said something that sounded like, "I can't wait to see you."

"Hey! Kurt, come here!" Tom called.

I smiled and peeked into the living room. An average sized guy that looked to be no more than eighteen with curly blond hair crouched down next to Tom.

"This is Kurt. He's a good friend of mine in my unit," he explained.

Emily gave a little wave. "Hi."

"Hey there. I've heard a lot about you," Kurt told her, and she smiled.

"Kurt here is gay too. But newly, so don't rag on him," Tom said, and Kurt flushed a little.

"And I rag on you guys and all your gay friends so much?"

"Okay, never mind. But you know what I mean," Tom grumbled.

"Anyhoo!" Emily changed the subject by bringing up how she liked Kurt's hair.

Kurt's thick accent seemed to put Emily at ease. She loved southern accents. Kurt blushed and raked his hand through his downy looking curls.

Tom looked right by Emily and smiled at me. I flushed and ducked back into the kitchen. He could have me hard and blushing simultaneously with just the turn of his piercing grey eyes. Oh, God, I could not wait four days for him to come home. I had to have him. Now.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_4 days later_

Emily was practically jumping in her spot next to me while we stood waiting for Tom's plane to come in.

I laughed and kissed her head. "Baby, calm down. He's almost here."

"Well, then how do you expect me to calm down?" She questioned me.

"Well," I started. "I don't. I'm a dad, I have to tell you that. But I know you won't be able to."

She smiled and tucked herself into my side.

She stood on her toes and I spotted a few Army fatigues in the distance past security. I lifted her up and she squealed excitedly. I laughed and kissed her cheek.

"He's almost here, sweetie," I told her.

She let out an impatient whine and stomped her foot. "I want him here now!"

I laughed. "I know, baby, I know. I do too."

Just then, a whole group of men in Army fatigues came through security. Emily stood on her toes, trying to spot a familiar face, but couldn't. She knew he was there though.

Then, in the midst of hugs and greetings, she squealed and took off. I started to follow her, but saw instead what she was running after.

Tom dropped to his knees in front of her, grabbing her up and showering her with kisses. She buried her face–after he was done giving her kisses–in his shoulder, and wouldn't let him go. They were both crying, and finally Tom stood up on shaking legs and carried Emily over to me. I smiled and he smiled shakily over Emily's shoulder at me. Emily finally released him from around his neck, but then latched onto his waist. He hugged and kissed me around her and we were finally a complete family again.

Tom stroked Emily's hair as she clung to him, and she looked up at him.

Kurt–his blond curls peeking out from under his hat–walked up with a boy about his size in tow. The boy had thick black hair and glasses. He most definitely wasn't nerdy looking with his glasses, and I thought that he was actually pretty handsome.

"Hey, Tom. This is Luke, my boyfriend," Kurt said.

Tom and I shook hands with him and I met Kurt properly. Emily wouldn't let go of Tom, but gave a little wave to Luke and Kurt in greeting.

"Hey, you remember me, don't you?" Kurt asked her, looking down at her.

"Yes," she said, and Tom tapped her arm. "Sir."

Kurt chuckled and Luke wrapped his arm around Kurt's slender waist.

"Do you honestly make her call _you_ that, Tom?" Kurt asked him.

"No, I can't possibly make her do anything. She's the best thing that's ever happened to Danny and I. She means the world to us," Tom replied, stroking her hair soothingly.

"That's what I thought," Kurt said.

---

I could tell having to sit in the back of my Mazda and not be in contact with Tom killed Emily. She was pumped full of adrenalin and she fidgeted anxiously as we drove to Tom's parents' house before going to my parents' house.

Tom has one older brother, Jasper, who absolutely adores Emily. She scampered over to him and he swung her up above his head. She giggled and he kissed her cheek. His wife, Annabelle, loves Emily like she's her own child. Both of our families accepted her, loving her as if she'd lived with us her entire life.

We all sat, talking and laughing, until my phone rang. I picked it up, moving to stand outside on the porch.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hey, Danny. It's Zay."

"Hey, buddy. What's up?" I asked.

"When are you coming over?" He inquired.

"Oh, in a few minutes. We've got a surprise for you too, so we won't be long," I told him, and hung up.

I laughed to myself. They were going to be surprised when they found out that Tom was home. Only Tom's family knew about it, but we didn't tell my family about him coming home.

We drove over in silence, and I could tell Emily was getting tired. She was sinking further and further down in the back seat. Tom looked back at her and laughed.

"Angel, you look so tired. Did you sleep at all last night?" He joked.

She shook her head and blinked tiredly.

He smiled and reached back to hold her hand. She played with his fingers and I saw him smile contentedly.

I walked into the house first, and was greeted with many hugs and kisses. Emily came in after me, and as if she forgot something, darted back outside to get Tom. She dragged him into the house, and he was met with cheers from my family. I held Emily on the outside of the reunion. She wrapped her arms around my neck and laid her head on my shoulder. I saw Leroy with his camera snap shots like crazy, but I never saw any of them or noticed him take any of me or Emily. But he's very sneaky with his pictures.

Tom pulled away from all the greetings and came back to us. He pulled me down for a kiss and Emily squirmed into his arms. He smiled and cradled her to his chest. She looked so sleepy. While we all settled and talked, Emily finally dozed off in Tom's arms. He stroked her hair and back while she slept, and was just glad to have her back in his arms.


	8. Family

_Xavier_

I ended up with Emily stretched out on the couch with her head in my lap by the time Tom and Danny were ready to leave. I carried her outside to Danny's Mazda and kissed her forehead before shutting the door quietly. Danny and Tom hugged me last and I waved to them as they drove away.

I stood outside in the still humid and sticky night and looked at the stars.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I pulled it out.

_Sam_, the caller I.D. read.

I flipped it open and said, "Hey, baby."

He chuckled. "Hello to you too."

"What's up?" I asked him.

"I was just calling to check up on you. You said that Danny had a surprise for you, and I want to know what it was," he told me.

"Oh! Tom came home today. His unit was brought home because they got a larger unit to take over," I explained.

"Oh my gosh! That's so great! Was Emily excited?"

"Not when I saw her. She was more relieved than excited by the time she got here. She fell asleep."

Sam laughed. "Sounds like she was very relieved." He paused for long moment. "I want to see you. Can you come over?"

I smiled, and told him, "I guess. Are you getting desperate? We haven't seen each other for only a few days."

"I'm home alone tonight. My sister's at her boyfriend's house, and my parents are in Atlanta. Come on! Please?"

I sighed. "I suppose. I'll be there in five minutes."

"I love you!"

"Love you too, Sam."

We hung up and I smiled. I could never tell him no.

---

Sam greeted me by crushing his lips to mine when he opened the door. This was unlike him. My gentle, careful Sam was pressing his fingertips into my ribs. I pulled away and his lips automatically went to my neck. I relaxed into his arms and his fingers eased up. There, he was getting over his spur of dominance and roughness. His arms wound around my waist as his lips worshiped my neck and jaw. My head fell back and I swallowed back a whimper when he nipped at my Adam's apple.

"God, I missed you. I'm so used to having you sleeping next to me that my bed feels so empty and cold without you," he murmured against my throat.

I chuckled and pulled his head up to look him in the eye. His deep blue eyes had my stomach doing flips. He smiled and pulled me closer.

I heard the radio on in the kitchen and he looked at me through his lashes.

"Dance with me?" He asked.

"Of course."

We turned in small circles in the living room to Taylor Swift's "Crazier". I felt as if nothing could touch me with Sam there with me. He showed me that love didn't have to hurt, and that I didn't have to give a lot to get a little.

"What's on your mind, sweet boy?" He whispered, kissing my temple.

I nuzzled against his cheek and he chuckled.

"You," I told him.

We had slowed to a stop and he kissed me. His lips were thinner than mine, and he was always talking about how full my lips were and how much he loved to kiss me.

The night was filled with loving kisses and affectionate touches.

I sat up in the bed and my head spun. I felt a large, soft hand on my waist.

"Why do you always sit up in the morning? You're so far away from me, sweet boy," Sam murmured sleepily.

I smiled and leaned over him. He closed his eyes, as if he just wanted to go back to sleep, and smiled tiredly. I pressed my lips to his forehead and he sighed, relaxing further onto the bed.

"It's Christmas Eve," I whispered against his smooth forehead.

He made a soft noise of acknowledgment and his breathing slowed even further. I watched as he slowly dozed back off curled up against me. I left one more kiss on his forehead and slipped out of the bed. He nuzzled the warm spot I left, shifting over into it and curling up further. I smiled, and watched him for a moment as he drifted further into unconsciousness.

---

"Is she okay?" I asked Tom as he came out of the bathroom.

"Yeah. She's just sitting with Danny now. She says that she feels really cold, but she's burning up," Tom explained.

I sagged down onto the arm of the couch, facing the bathroom door that was slightly ajar. Sam walked up next to me, stood a little bit behind me, and rested his hands on my shoulders. He rubbed my shoulders, leaning down to leave a kiss on my neck.

"You worry so much about her. It's not good for you, baby," he murmured to me, and I leaned my head back to look at him.

He smiled and kissed me. I pulled away and leaned up when I heard the door open in front of me. Danny came out with Emily clinging to him. Her legs were wrapped around his waist, her arms around his neck, and he held onto her. He kissed her forehead, talking to her softly and lovingly.

He settled her on the couch and she watched him leave to find Tom and our parents. Sam kneeled down next to her, and felt her forehead. She whimpered and tried to move away from his hand. She pushed weakly at his arm and he smiled, pulling it back.

"Do you feel any better, sweetheart?" He asked her.

She looked at him, her eyes wide and frightened almost, her pupils two different size, and he melted underneath her gaze. Her eyes watered suddenly, and he stood up, scooping her into his long arms. He sat with her in his lap, wrapped in his arms. She cried into his chest, and when she accidentally let out a louder sob, Tom and Danny came running. They spotted her in Sam's lap and hesitated.

"Do either of you want her? She might be more at ease with one of you," Sam offered.

Tom moved closer, and touched Emily's back. He started to slide his arms around her to take her from him, but she gripped Sam's shirt, wrapped her arm around his shoulder, and clung to him, refusing to go to Tom.

Tom let her stay, and backed off to sit in the armchair. Sam stroked her hair away from her flushed, tear-streaked face and rubbed her back comfortingly. Danny stood behind Tom and stroked his hair soothingly. Sam eventually got her to sleep but her hand stayed protectively on his chest.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Danny, Tom, and Emily were going to stay the night at Tom's parents' house and then come back over later in the day on Christmas. For dinner though, Tom's family and Sam's family were both coming over. This would be the biggest Christmas we've ever had.

Our house was much bigger than we needed it to be. We had bedrooms on the ground floor and on the top floor. Our kitchen was spacious enough to make all the food for three families.

"Zay?"

I turned and looked down at Emily. "What is it, sweetie?"

She gave me a small box wrapped in silver wrapping paper. I smiled, kneeling down to be a more or less her level, and pulled the silver paper off the box. I could see Tom and Danny standing by the couch with their arms wound around each other, smiling. I opened the little box and took out the silver pocket watch.

"Do you like it?" Emily asked me, almost worriedly.

"Of course. It's amazing. Did you pick it out?" I said.

She nodded happily. I pulled her into a hug and kissed her cheek.

"Thank you," I told her.

"You're welcome!"

I nudged her towards Danny and Tom and she scampered over to them. Tom leaned down to kiss her forehead and cradled her face in his hands. I could just see the love and adoration in his face and Danny's as he watched them. Tom lifted her up and sat her on the back of the couch in between himself and Danny.

She wrapped her arms over Tom's shoulder and around his neck, and her other arm snaked around Danny's back. Leroy, his camera hanging around his neck, leaned against the "bar" facing Danny, Tom, and Emily.

Emily grinned at him, pulling her arm from around Danny to wave. He laughed and waved back though they were only two yards away.

She didn't really like having her picture taken, so when Leroy picked his camera up he asked her, "Can I take a picture, darlin'?"

She nodded, and wrapped her arm back around Danny. They all smiled as Leroy snapped the picture and then when both Danny and Tom leaned down and kissed her on each cheek, Leroy snapped another picture.

Leroy called Tom over to talk to him for a moment, and the doorbell rang. Danny and I went to get it, incase it was Sam or Tom's family. Emily distracted herself with Aaron and when both Sam and Tom's families came inside she ran to Jasper and Annabelle.

Sam kissed me when he walked inside, and I smiled, kissing him softly.

We were a huge family connected through odd terms but we enjoyed each other's company and got along just fine.

"Hi, Sam!" Emily chirped.

"Hey, cutie," he crooned, leaning down to kiss her head.

Jasper scooped her up and she squealed. He carried her off and tossed her onto the couch. She was laughing uncontrollably as he tickled her. Poor Annabelle was unable to get pregnant and they weren't ready to try and adopt a child, so Emily was like their child as much as she was Tom and Danny's.

"Kas!" Emily squealed.

Kas was Jasper's nickname along with Jazz (or Jazzy for Emily and Annabelle). It was a term of endearment for the name Jasper.

He smiled and leaned down, kissing her nose. She didn't have any other kids to play with but we would gladly play with her even though we were adults. As we all settled in, Tom and Danny told Emily that she needed to just sit and relax for a while since she had been sick the day before. She curled up next to Jasper, and he stroked her hair, smoothing it back.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked her, his thick southern drawl seeming to relax her.

"Yeah. I'm still really tired though," she mumbled.

He kissed her forehead and pressed his to her head. "I love you."

She smiled sleepily. "Love you too."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_Danny_

I was sitting up in bed, reading, when Tom jerked in his sleep. He shot up in bed, sweating and panting.

"Tom? Baby, what is it?" I asked him, touching his back as I sat up next to him.

He looked at me and his grey eyes–usually so lively and adoring–were dull and full of tears. His lower lip quivered and his face crumpled. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him onto my lap. He seemed so small to me because of my height, and I could always hold him on my lap. He cried into my shirt, pressing his mouth so hard into my chest that no sound barely escaped, and I rubbed his back. He couldn't bear to let Emily hear or see him cry; to her he was a soldier and nothing made him cry.

"Tom, sweetheart, what happened?" I asked him, smoothing his hair back when he shifted to look at me.

"It was so horrible," he whispered, and rested his head on my shoulder.

I knew it. He'd dreamt of being back in Iraq. I kissed his forehead, and stroked his hair.

"I know, darling. But it was just a dream," I murmured, and he sniffed.

"Daddy?"

Tom jumped so violently I thought he was going to fall off the bed and I looked over at Emily. Her brown eyes were wide and she looked worried and almost scared.

She opened her mouth as if to say something but she seemed to be at a loss for words. She hesitated but then climbed up into the bed with us. She watched Tom and I for a moment and I reached forward to brush a lock of hair away from her face. Tom pulled her onto his lap and she pressed close to his chest. I shifted a little and wrapped both my arms around both of the loves of my life.

We sat like that for a while and then Emily looked up at Tom.

"Why were you crying, Dad?" She asked him.

He smiled a little and smoothed her hair back. "It's nothing, angel."

She let it drop, knowing that when she cried she didn't want to be bothered and hounded.

I kissed both their foreheads and Emily smiled softly up at me. I smiled back and brushed my nose against hers. She laughed and Tom finally grinned. There was no going back to sleep now and so when Emily's stomach growled, we got up to eat something. I realized that she was walking stiffly and limping slightly. Then I remembered she had started stretching because she was taking dance classes after Christmas break was over.

"Are you sore, baby doll?" I asked her.

She nodded, and Tom wrapped his arms around her waist. He kissed her neck, and then her cheek.

"I can't wait to see you dance, angel. You'll be great," he said, and she smiled up at him.

None of us were happy with what food we had in the kitchen, so we dressed in sweats and went out. We ended up going to Waffle House, one of our favorite places to eat. We never really knew how to sit with three of us. Emily never wanted to spilt Tom and I, but one of us always pushed her into the booth and wouldn't let her move. But now, the only problem was that she didn't know who to sit with. I kissed her forehead and pushed her towards Tom. He sat with her on the inside and she snuggled up to his side.

We weren't one of the most normal families, but we loved each other. And that's all that mattered to us.


	9. Reunion

_Xavier_

I trudged through the rain to my car from the art building and shivered even though it wasn't really that cold.

"Something wrong?"

Sam fell into step beside me and smiled. I smiled back.

"No, just wet," I joked.

He nodded and I unlocked my car. We ducked inside and out of the rain. We blasted the heat and I laid my head back on the headrest. My temple throbbed and I just wished my migraine would go away.

"What's the matter, sweet boy? You don't seem to feel good," Sam cooed, brushing his fingertips over my cheek.

"I have a migraine," I told him in almost a whimper.

"I'm sorry. Did you take something for it?"

I shook my head and groaned. Sam sighed disapprovingly, and I put my seatbelt on. I backed out of my parking spot and we drove back to our apartment.

"Lay down, Zay," Sam told me when I dragged myself into the apartment.

I dropped onto the couch and laid my head on the back of the couch. I felt Sam's hand smooth my hair back, ruffling my bangs, and felt him kiss my forehead. He reached down and pressed two pills into my hand. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He smiled and I took the cup he was holding from him. I took the two Tylenol and he kissed my forehead again when I laid my head back to look at him again.

He nudged my head over to the side and kissed my temple.

"I can feel your head throbbing," he mumbled against my temple.

I closed my eyes, just wishing that it would go away.

I stretched out on the couch and Sam sat on the floor in front of me and worked on a paper he had to write for his English class. My cell phone rang and I winced at the shrill sound. Sam fished around in my messenger bag for a second before pulling out my phone. He answered it and reached back to stroke my hair soothingly.

He sat his laptop on the coffee table and turned around to look at me.

"Zay, would you mind if Tom, Danny, and Emily came over? I'm sure they won't be loud and obnoxious," he asked me.

"That's fine," I mumbled, and he kissed my cheek softly before going back to whomever was on the phone.

I dozed off for a few minutes and slowly woke up when Sam accidentally knocked against the couch getting up. He noticed that he woke me up and bent down.

He kissed my forehead, and murmured, "I'm sorry. Go back to sleep, baby."

I shook my head, which was feeling a lot better, and yawned. He opened the door and let my brother and his little family in. I heard Sam laugh and looked up at them. They were all soaking wet.

Sam and I sat on the couch as they all dried off and changed into drier clothes. Danny, even though he was three inches taller than I was, borrowed a t-shirt of mine and some pajama pants; they fit pretty well and he was just happy he was dry. His red/brown curls stuck up in odd places from him towel drying his hair. Emily scampered into the room with Tom coming behind her. She was in a t-shirt of mine and some shorts of Sam's since his hips were narrower than mine. Tom had a shirt of Sam's and some of my shorts.

Emily's wet hair was pulled back into a bun and she climbed up into Danny's lap. He laughed and pulled her into a hug, kissing her cheek. It's amazing how warm, dry clothes can make someone so happy. Tom smiled as he watched Danny and Emily.

We all sat around and talked and just spent time with each other. Sam's cell phone rang and he picked it up, walking into the kitchen. A few minutes later, he came back just as Emily settled into the crook of Danny's arm. She looked sleepy and as if to confirm that she yawned.

"My cousin Jack and his partner Jacey are coming to visit in a few days," he told me.

"Really? That's cool," I said, and he nodded.

"I haven't seen them in at least a year. They live in Austin."

"Well, that'll be good. Maybe they might move closer sometime. All your family lives here don't they?"

Sam nodded and turned his head towards me. He pursed his lips against my forehead and I smiled.

"What, baby doll?" Danny asked Emily, stroking her bangs away from her face.

"Nothing," she mumbled, but I saw something deep in her chocolate-colored eyes.

I recognized it as hurt. She was in pain, but it wasn't physical. Danny kissed her forehead, and stroked her cheek with the pad of his thumb. She touched his forearm and he laced their fingers together.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Sam! Oh, I've missed you."

Sam's cousin, Jack, hugged Sam tightly and Sam laughed, hugging him back.

"I've missed you too, Jack," Sam said.

"Hi, I'm Jacey, Jack's partner." Jacey had shoulder length brown hair that curled and waved. I could tell he was shy, even with Jack, but he seemed very nice.

"I'm Xavier, Sam's boyfriend." I shook his hand and he smiled shyly.

"I like the name Xavier, it's interesting," Jacey commented.

"Thanks. I like it because not very many people are named that," I joked.

He laughed and looked over at Jack when he came to stand next to him. It was a bit weird, being as tall as we were and them being of normal height.

"They're used to me being so much taller, Zay. Don't worry," Sam soothed me.

I nodded and we all headed to the car. Atlanta airport was a bitch to leave, but we had to if we wanted to go home.

---

I arched upwards in the seat of the car and fished my phone out of my back pocket as it buzzed.

"Hello?" I said.

"Zay, um, where are you and Sam?" Danny asked, his voice so soft that I was getting very worried.

"We're on our way back to Sam's. Why, Danny? What's wrong?" I replied anxiously.

He was quiet for a second, until he said, "Emily's really sick...and we don't know if she'll..."

"Sam, we need to get to the hospital _now_," I told Sam.

He nodded and when Jack asked what was wrong, Sam explained everything to him and Jacey while I talked to Danny.

"Do you know what's wrong with her, Dan?" I asked him gently.

"No," he said, his voice tense as if he was holding back tears.

I stayed on the phone with him the entire way to the hospital, and when we finally got there, I knew why he was so upset.

Emily didn't even look the same as she had the week before. She'd lost a terrible amount of weight and she just looked _sick_. Not just a cold, but terminally ill. I now know why Danny had said that they didn't think she would live. She didn't look strong enough to fight.

She was pretty much living in this hospital. Even though she looked horrible and probably felt even worse, she smiled and said 'hi' to Jacey and Jack.

Someone knocked on the door and pushed it open. Sam and I recognized the face immediately. Dr. Lush walked in, a smile gracing his face. He was handsome and seemed to put anyone at ease.

"Well, I didn't expect to see you here," he said to me and Sam.

He introduced himself to Jack and Jacey and then spoke to Tom and Danny. They both looked worn and vulnerable. If the world threw whatever it had at them, they wouldn't have cared. Dr. Lush smoothed Emily's hair back, kissing her forehead, and left after he spoke to Danny and Tom. Danny sat back down in one of the two chairs and Tom sat in the other.

We didn't talk much, but we had a few small conversations. About an hour after his first visit, Dr. Lush came back with Emily's medicine. She didn't fight them about taking it, even though she couldn't eat for a while after she took it. I sat next to her, letting Danny and Tom go for a walk together, and held her hand.

"Do you guys want to go home? You don't have to stay here. You both looked scared to death," Sam offered to Jack and Jacey.

"No, we're fine," Jack assured us, and kissed Jacey's cheek. They showered each other with gentle, loving affection as if something was wrong.

"Is something wrong?" Sam asked them gently.

"My little brother has HIV," Jacey explained.

"What's his name?"

We all turned to look at Emily after she'd panted out her question.

Jacey's hazel-colored eyes filled with a few tears, and he said, "Felix."

Emily's eyes widened. "Felix?"

Jacey nodded, blinking back tears. "Why?"

"I know a Felix," she told him. "I used to live with a Felix in the orphanage in Chattanooga, Tennessee."

"That's where my parents adopted him from. You're the Emily he always talks about?"

She smiled and nodded. It was a genuine smile and she seemed a little less sick though I knew that wasn't the truth.

"How's he doing?" She asked him, sitting up a little.

He moved closer to her so she wouldn't sit up, knowing that she was wasting her energy by doing that. She shifted uncomfortably and he looked worried, wanting to help her. He knew her pain having dealt with it first hand back home. When Danny and Tom came back, she talked so fast and so excitedly about what she'd found out. All of these families–mine and Danny's, Tom's, Sam's, Jacey's–were all connected in some way to Emily.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I pushed myself up in bed and rubbed at my eyes. I felt the bed shift and felt warm, smooth arms wrap around my waist.

"What have I told you about sitting up in the morning?"

I smiled and laid my head back against Sam's shoulder. "Sorry. I'm bad at breaking habits."

He chuckled and kissed my shoulder. "I love you."

"Mmm, love you too," I sighed, letting his lips work their magic on me.

My phone buzzed on the night stand and I picked it up. Sam pulled me back onto the bed and I sat up against the headboard. Sam curled up next to me, laying his head in my lap. He drew lazy patterns on my thigh, driving me insane. I flipped open my phone.

"Hello?"

"Em, please, just hold on a second. Hey, what are you doing right now?" Danny asked.

"I just woke up. Why?"

"Emily's really bored and lonely because Tom went home and she's had me all night," he explained.

"Well, we'll come over. We'll see if Jacey and Jack want to come over too," I told him.

Sam was pushing my shorts up and kissing my thigh. I shuddered and felt my manhood harden. I tensed against Sam's kisses, trying to hold myself together enough to talk to Danny, but he kept on.

"Alright, we'll see you in a little bit," Danny said.

"Okay. Love you. Bye," I said quickly and he returned it.

We hung up and I groaned, shuddering again. Sam shifted to straddle over my legs and moved his kisses from my thigh to my belly. I whimpered and his hands slid into my shorts. He pulled them off, along with my boxers, and I moaned as his hands brushed my cock.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing when I watched Sam take my length into his hot mouth. I gasped and tensed at the unfamiliar feeling, but his hand–resting on my hip–rubbed my hip soothingly and I relaxed.

"Sam," I gasped, and my hips twitched as I tried not to fuck his beautiful face.

---

Emily, though she'd been doing so good last night, did not look as good as she had yesterday. She smiled briefly at us as we walked in, but shuddered and hunkered deeper down under her blankets. We all gave her a kiss on the forehead, head, or cheek and she gave us a pitiful, teary-eyed look. Danny–having always been good at hiding his emotions–smiled comfortingly at her and pressed a wet cloth to her forehead. She trembled under her blankets and tried to push Danny's hand away but her hands found no purchase on his arm. She was very uncoordinated now that the HIV virus has acted up. Danny leaned close to her, talking soothingly to her and trying to calm her.

"Sweetie, Tom will come back over in a little bit, and Zay and Sam came over. We'll get you better and you'll be out of here soon, baby doll. I promise," he murmured to her.

She shook her head, pushing him away and curling up, her back to him. We were all quiet and I feared that if we didn't get her out of this depression she would most definitely not make it. Even if she took her medicine, she would just be a shell and no one wanted that. I moved from my spot next to Sam to crouch down next to the bed, eye-level with Emily. She looked so tired and like she just wanted to give up. She didn't have the strength to fight, so we had to fight for her.

She started to pull away from me, but I wrapped my arm around her little waist and pulled her closer to the edge of the bed and closer to me.

"Hey," I murmured. "You need to think positive. If you don't want to fight, fine. But that just means we'll fight for you."

Her eyes filled with tears, and she sniffled, but they still fell. I told her all about my one friend that I had since I was a baby that got AIDS from his final girlfriend since he decided he was gay and how he'd died only a few years ago. She cried harder, but the next day she improved enough to be discharged for the day and go with Jacey, Jack, Danny, Tom, Sam, and I to get Jacey's parents and Felix. Jacey had called them and told them the entire story about Emily and they got on a plane to come over.

Felix practically sprinted off the plane, totally passed up Jacey, and slid to a stop next to Emily as she lounged in a seat. She pushed out of the chair, and Tom stood with her. Felix, almost afraid to touch her, hugged her desperately. He kissed her head and forehead repeatedly and she just clung to him. This was what she needed. She needed something to live for in the world, and Felix was that thing. She would do anything for him.

"I've missed you so much, Em," he whimpered, tears forming in his dark green eyes.

"I've missed you too," she sniffled.

Jacey and Felix's parents hugged Emily, having met her briefly when they adopted Felix and heard pretty much everything there is to know about her from Felix. Jacey, feeling a little more connected to her since Felix reunited with her, hugged her as well, telling her how much she's impacted them through Felix.

---

Emily had to go back to the hospital that night, and Felix went with her. Tom stayed with them, and they told the nurses that he was her brother. He could be her brother with his brown wavy hair and his almost hazel-colored eyes.

I dropped into my bed when I got home and a minute later I felt someone lay down beside me. I peeked out and it was Danny.

"Why are you here?" I asked him.

"I decided that it didn't feel right to be in the apartment without the rest of my family. Tom went back to his parents' house the other night when I stayed with Emily. It would be too hard to be there without Emily," he explained.

"It was pretty amazing what you told her two days ago," Danny said, and looked over at me.

"About Liam? Yeah, it was. I hated for her to cry so hard about that, but it made her remember that she had people who loved her in this world and that she couldn't just give up. Because if she did, we'd just fight for her," I told him.

"You're amazing, Zay. You're truly something special," he murmured, and turned over to kiss my forehead.

I smiled and we laid there talking until we both dozed off.


	10. Change

"I know, sweetie, I know. I don't want to leave either. Do you think I asked to be transferred?" Tom said, kneeling down in front of Emily.

She sighed heavily, and stalked off into her room. Tom stood up, and Danny wrapped his arm around his waist, pulling him against his chest.

"She'll come around, baby. You know she's had a lot of change in her life, and she's finally settled in this place," Danny soothed his lover, rubbing his back.

Tom nodded, his head resting on Danny's chest. His hand laid near his face on Danny's chest as well, and he watched his fingers as they curled up into a fist. Danny kissed Tom's forehead, and let his lips linger there for a moment longer before he ducked his head to look at Tom's face.

Sam knocked lightly on Emily's closed door, and when nothing happened, he tried the knob.

"She doesn't lock her door. She just wants something in between us and her, but she wants to be able to get to us if need be," Danny explained, but went back to Tom, trying in vain to comfort him.

Sam slipped inside Emily's room, not closing the door completely. After a few minutes, I pushed the door open to find Sam on the floor with her while she showed him her vast array of magazines that either had Adam Lambert on the cover or had an article about him in it. He looked up at me and winked. I smiled, and went back out into the living room. She hadn't even noticed me.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I woke up to the coffee grinder going in the kitchen. The spot in my bed next to me was empty and cold. Sam was already up. I sat up, and padded out into the living room and then into the kitchen. Sam was standing in front of the oven, poking at some bacon with a spatula. A pile of pancakes sat on a plate on the small table along with two other plates, two forks, two knives, and two mugs. One was filled with water and a tea bag floated on top.

"Hey," I mumbled sleepily.

Sam turned and smiled, reaching a hand out to me. I moved closer and let him wrap his arm around me. He pressed his forehead to mine and kissed me. I accepted his kiss, kissing him back. He pulled away, flipping the bacon over and then poking at it a bit more.

"I made your tea for you. Is peppermint okay?" He said, and looked down at me.

"Peppermint's fine," I murmured, and laid my head on his shoulder.

He slid the bacon onto a plate with a paper towel on it and turned the stove off.

"How'd you sleep?" He asked me when he turned fully to wrap me closer to his chest.

"Fine, but I dreamt about Danny and them moving. I wish they didn't have to leave," I replied.

"I know, sweet boy. I wish they didn't have to go either," he soothed me, and kissed my forehead.

We moved to sit at the table and Sam brought the bacon over. Once the coffee was done, he got up to pour himself a cup. I preferred hot tea to coffee. I added some sugar to my tea and took a sip. I studied the tea bag soaking through my napkin on the table while I waited for Sam to come back to the table. Sam slid back into his chair and smiled at me.

"Your hair's all messed up," he teased, and I scowled playfully at him.

He laughed and reached over to smooth my hair down.

"There," he said. "All better."

"Was it my sex hair?" I asked, smiling.

"No. We didn't do any of that last night. We just made out _a lot_," he laughed.

"True."

We ate in silence, feeling comfortable with the quiet. After we were finished, we sat there, finishing off our coffee and tea while just talking. Sam stretched out his leg and pressed on his knee. He groaned.

"The weather _has_ to be changing because my knee is killing me," he muttered.

I coaxed him into the living room and made him sit on the couch. I pulled his leg onto my lap, and massaged his knee. He arched into my touch, moaning softly. I smiled and pressed a bit harder. He arched still, finally having no pain in his knee. I pressed my lips to his kneecap and smiled. He peeked out at me and smirked.

"You're so devious," he commented, and I laughed.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Don't touch anything!"

I laughed as Emily smacked Tom's hand when he went to grab the remote.

"Especially don't touch that," she snarled.

"Ouch. So snappy today. What's with the yelling, Sargent?" I teased.

She shot me a glare that said, "shut up or I will paint your nails too." She had Danny and Tom on either side of her, all three of them tucked cozily into the couch in front of their TV. She had a lap desk on her lap and was painting both Tom and Danny's nails. Tom had purple and Danny had pink. Oprah came back on from commercial on the TV.

"Adam Lambert is on Oprah today," she told us, going back to fixing Danny's ring finger nail.

"I heard about that. Has he been on yet?" I asked, leaning against the back of the couch.

"Nope! I'm so excited though!" She squealed, making Danny and Tom laugh.

"And you guys were roped into watching it _and_ getting your nails painted?" Sam laughed.

Both Tom and Danny shot him glares, and he shut up. I leaned down and kissed her head.

"Okay! Other hand!" She cried happily, and Danny laid his right hand on the lap desk, laughing.

"I didn't know you even owned pink or purple nail polish. You're so dark with your blues and blacks," Sam commented.

"Well, I do. I just don't use them very much. I like the darker, richer colors. Is that a crime?" She replied, looking over the couch at Sam.

He raised his hands in surrender, and smiled at her.

"Babe, when I touch something?" Tom asked her, laying his head over on top of hers while she worked on Danny's middle finger nail.

"Not until it's completely dry, but then it still probably won't be hard and really dry until tomorrow," she spoke almost automatically and so softly that I almost didn't hear her.

Tom pressed his lips to her head, and sighed. He seemed so content to just sit there with the man that he loved and their precious daughter. I smiled to myself.

"So, you actually missed this today and had to record it on your DVR?" Sam asked, not believing what he was hearing.

"I know right!" Emily shrieked. "These dummies kept me out all day. I think they're trying to suck up to me about moving."

We all laughed, and Danny kissed her cheek. "Baby, you know we're very sorry about having to move you. But even if we are sucking up to you, we know you like spending time with us and having us all to yourself."

She smiled, and giggled. As she worked on finishing Danny's nails, her ears perked when she heard a familiar voice on the TV.

"Holy shizzle he's on and I'm missing it!" She cried, giggling like an actual teenage girl when she laid eyes on her favorite celebrity.

Danny and Tom grinned, loving to see her so happy and excited instead of angry or sad.

Sam and I were staying with Danny and Tom for the night, just to have something to do and since neither of us had a class on Fridays.

---

Sam and I woke up when we felt a warm body nestle itself in between us. We'd slept in Emily's bed while she slept with Tom and Danny in their bed.

I opened my eyes and leaned up as Danny stood back up from settling Emily in the bed.

"Tom and I are leaving for work, and I don't want her to wake up alone," Danny whispered, kissing my forehead and pressing me back down into the mattress.

"Doesn't she do just fine when she wakes up alone?" I asked, rubbing at my eyes.

"Yeah, but it's dark and rainy outside. I'm just worrying over her. Let me be the father. Just go back to sleep. She doesn't flail around like you used to when you were little," he said.

I grimaced at his retreating back but smiled when Emily curled up against me, hooking her leg over mine.

"She likes to put her leg over you, so don't freak out. It's innocent," Tom commented, coming into the room and kissing Emily's forehead.

"Wasn't planning on it," I mumbled, rubbing her back softly.

Tom and Danny left and I was left, awake, with Emily sleeping against me with her leg draped over mine. She was dressed only in panties and one of Danny's t-shirts. I finally nodded off to a comforting warmth pressed against my side.

---

I shot up in bed when I felt an empty coldness against my side. I heard movement outside the door and the TV was on.

_Calm down. She's not gone, just in the other room,_ I told myself.

I got up and went out into the living room. Emily was curled up on the couch, a blanket tucked around her, and a mug of hot tea in her lap. She watched the screen without blinking, and I realized she was re-watching the recording of Oprah from yesterday.

"Hi, Zay," she said, finally blinking after the show went to commercial.

I bent down to kiss her head. "Hey, sweetheart. You have anymore hot water or do I have to boil some?"

"There's still some in the pot. Boxes of tea are in the pantry," she told me, taking a sip of her tea.

Sam woke up and came out into the living room a while later, and we all piled onto the couch in our pajamas. Tom and Danny came back from their work around noon, that having been their last day before they moved.

Danny stooped down to cradle Emily's face in his big hands. She smiled at him and he smiled back. He kissed her forehead and leaned down close to her face.

"I got a lot of crap from my friends at work about my nails. But I just told them to get over it. I told them that they were just jealous that they weren't brave enough to let their daughters paint their nails and where it out of the house," he told her.

She grinned, and he smiled back, pecking her on the lips before going into his and Tom's room to change.


	11. Different

"We'll come visit you," I told Emily, trying to make her feel better.

"But we're moving across the country!" She complained, sniffling.

"I know, sweetheart," I murmured, and kissed her forehead.

She looked up at Sam, and his eyes softened. He smoothed her hair back and she sighed. Her room was completely empty and she looked around it sadly.

"Come on, baby," Sam murmured, and touched his hand to her back, nudging her along with him.

Tom stroked her hair when we walked out and she pulled away.

"Oh, don't be like that, angel," he pleaded with her.

She grimaced and Sam rubbed her back. "It'll be okay, sweetie."

Hugging her until I could still feel her against my chest even when she was hugging Sam, I sighed heavily. I couldn't believe they had to move to Los Angeles. It was so far away. I felt like complaining just as much as Emily did.

"Tell me if you meet any famous people, okay? I want to hear everything," Sam murmured, kissing her forehead. "I love you, cutie."

She smiled fleetingly, and got in Danny's Mazda. He'd traded in his Moutaineer for this Mazda when it started dying repeatedly on him. We said our goodbyes to Danny and Tom and we both left the apartment building for the last time.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"We're in LA!" Danny told me over the phone three and a half days later.

"Really? Cool," I replied, and then yelled, "Sam, they're in LA!"

"Awesome!" He yelled back. "Now, leave me alone unless you want me to fail Astrology!"

I laughed and went back to Danny as I made a random batch of brownies.

"How's Emily?" I asked him, sliding the brownies into the oven.

"She's sleeping in the back. Tom's asleep too," Danny said.

"I really wish you hadn't had to leave. But I know Tom was needed over there. Did you call Adam?"

"Yeah. He's meeting us at a restaurant he recommended."

"I can't believe you haven't talked to him in five years and you've known him since college. You guys were inseparable then. I remember you brought him down to meet us when I was in middle school," I joked.

"Yeah. He loved getting to meet you, because I always talked about you," he told me, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Tom, baby, wake up," Danny murmured.

I heard Tom wake up and Danny chuckled.

"Who are you talking to?" Tom asked, his voice groggy.

Danny's voice was slightly muffled, most likely against Tom's forehead. "Xavier."

"Hi, Zay," Tom mumbled close to the phone.

"Hey, Tom," I said into the phone, and laughed.

There was a knock on the window of the car, and I laughed as Danny jumped, gasping.

"I have to go, Zay. Adam's here," Danny told me.

"Okay. Call me later," I said, and we hung up.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

_Tom_

"Emily's going to freak when she wakes up," I laughed, shaking hands with Adam.

Adam laughed, and Danny hugged him. "It's so good to see you again."

Danny dwarfed even Adam, who was my height. I opened Emily's door and she jerked awake, having been laying against it.

"Sorry, baby, but there's someone here to meet you. We're in LA," I told her, kissing her forehead.

She ducked her head a little to peer out the front window, and her eyes flew wide open.

"Oh my, God!" She whispered harshly to me, and I laughed. "Is that seriously _him_?"

I nodded, still laughing. She clamored out of the car, still barefoot, and though her shirt was wrinkled from sleeping in the back of a car, with several pillows and blankets packed around her, she could have cared less. I walked over to Danny and Adam with her and she grinned as Danny introduced them.

"I went to college with Adam here in LA," Danny told Emily, smiling down at her.

"Cool," she said, smiling back up at him and then at Adam.

She dug her flip-flops out of the car and grabbed her sweatshirt. She held onto mine and Danny's hands and we lifted her up, swinging her up onto the sidewalk in front of the Italian restaurant. Adam laughed and followed behind us. We were an odd little group, but we didn't mind.

---

Danny carried Emily into our new house. She was sleeping soundly on his shoulder, her face flushed and a bit sticky from the intense heat outside. It was early February and we were all in shorts and t-shirts. I smiled to myself, so happy to just watch Danny and Emily. They were my life, and I loved them so much.

I put sheets on the king sized bed, and we laid Emily in it. We would all just sleep in one bed tonight. A three hour time change was pretty bad when you'd woken up at five in the morning Eastern time.

I walked through the bathroom to the door, and my foot slid on something. I fell backwards, twisting, and landed on my side.

"Tom, sweetie, are you all right?" Danny ran over to me, and helped me sit up.

We laughed at my clumsiness and he helped me stand up. He ducked down and kissed my side where a bruise was now forming. I smiled and he smirked.

Danny's cell phone buzzed on the bed next to him, and he fumbled around for it.

"Hello?" He mumbled tiredly.

Emily laid curled up on her side in between us and though I didn't want her anywhere else I wished I could curl up against the man that I loved.

"Adam, you're seriously still up at this hour?" Danny asked, rubbing his face.

Adam said something and then Danny remembered. "Oh, yeah. It's only eight."

I laughed softly, but I felt a sharp pain in my side and gasped.

"Tom, baby, what's wrong?" Danny asked, sitting up.

Emily was out and probably would be for the rest of the night. I sat on the edge of the bed, holding my side, as I tried to take a successful deep breath.

"Adam, can you come over and stay here with Emily? I have to get Tom to the ER," Danny said, and I heard Adam talking fast and loud on the other end of the line.

Danny hung up and swung me into his arms. I felt so safe and comfortable in his arms. He lifted me as if I weighed nothing to him. I didn't want him to carry me if he couldn't, but he'd held me so many times and carried me to bed when we were in the height of our passion or I was exhausted after coming home from training.

After putting me in his Mazda, leaving a key and a note for Adam by the door, leaving a note for Emily incase she woke up, and locking the house, he jumped in the car and turned it on. He threw it into drive and flew down the street and out of our tiny neighborhood. I rolled my head back and forth on the headrest, moaning in pain, as I clutched my side.

I laid on a cot, waiting for a doctor to come see me, and panted out Danny's name. He sat next to me in a chair that the nurse had brought for him, and his head snapped up quickly.

He leaned forward, stroking my hair away from my forehead, and asked, "What is it, sweetheart?"

Just hearing his voice soothed some of the pain and I laid my head over to look at him. His soft brown eyes looked so worried and concerned.

"Is Adam there with Emily?" I asked him, wincing when I spoke.

He dug his phone out quickly and dialed Adam's cell phone number.

"Adam? Are you there with Emily yet?" He asked.

He waited for a second, and then looked at me. "He's there with her."

I relaxed a bit more, knowing my baby girl was safe and had someone at home with her.

Danny spoke for a few more minutes, and when the doctor pulled back the curtain he hung up. I ended up with a fractured rib, and went home with pain killers and a promise that I'd rest a lot.

Adam was asleep with Emily curled up against his side, her head resting on his chest, when we got home. Danny put sheets on one of the other beds, which was just a mattress on the floor like the other one, and helped me lay down.

"Easy, baby," he murmured, kissing my forehead once I situated myself comfortably.

He turned off the light and climbed onto the mattress behind me and carefully pulled me against his chest. I whimpered when he pressed a little too hard on the throbbing spot and he jerked his hand away.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered into the dark, resting his hand on my waist.

I pulled his hand back and kissed his palm. "It's fine."

We laid like we hadn't in so long and were just happy to be so close to each other like this again.

"Do you think because we got Emily that's why we haven't been _together_ as much?" I asked Danny, after I'd turned over and curled up against his chest. The pain meds were kicking in and I was feeling a lot better.

Danny ran his fingers through my hair, pushing it back off my forehead. "No. We've been busy, and you were away for most of the time after we got her. She's done everything but dull our love for each other, baby. I think you're even more beautiful and arousing as a father."

He pushed his leg between mine, and pulled me even closer. I bit my lip, keeping my squeak of surprise to myself, and felt myself get harder as I felt Danny press himself into my hip. He was hard to say the least.

"Do you feel up to it?" He asked, kissing my neck.

I nodded and he chuckled, shifting to hover over me. He was quick, but gentle, in removing my shirt. He kept his hand over my hurt rib while he made love to me to remind himself that he needed to be gentle and be careful not to hurt me. We fell asleep tangled in the sheets and each other.

---

I was jostled awake, and my rib screamed at me to make whatever that was stop. I rolled over and sat up, almost knocking Emily off the mattress. She squeaked, rocking backwards to avoid me hitting her, and looked at me with wide, surprised eyes. I rubbed at my face and then tenderly touched my side. Emily moved closer, hesitantly, and sat down beside me.

"Are you okay, Daddy?" She asked softly, looking at me through her impossibly long lashes.

"Yeah, sweetheart. I'm fine. I fell last night and fractured one of my ribs, but I'm okay," I promised her, smoothing her hair back.

She sniffed, a wet, congested sound, and I tilted my head to the side, studying her.

"Are you feeling okay, angel?" I asked her, pulling her onto my lap after realizing that I was indeed wearing underwear. Danny must have put them on my sometime during the night.

She nodded, though I knew she was lying. Her breathing was a bit labored and she breathed out of her mouth. She wiped at her nose constantly, and snuggled closer to my chest.

I held her as best I could and she giggled as I kissed her face. Danny poked his head in, his face a bit flushed and sweaty.

"Been moving stuff?" I asked, and Emily moved from my lap, sitting up on her knees.

Danny smiled, moving to scoop Emily into his arms and sit next to me. We sat together as a family, an odd family but a family nonetheless.

"Danny?" Adam moaned from the other room.

We all laughed and Danny and Emily got up and went to maul Adam to get up. He shrieked and laughed when Emily jumped up on top of him. I got up and followed. I laughed when I found Adam and Danny tickling Emily. Adam held her down while Danny found the sensitive spots on her sides.

"Stop!" She cried, laughing so hard her chest jumped erratically. She began coughing harshly, and she shot up. Both Danny and Adam touched her back gently. Danny leaned forward and cradled her face in his hands.

"Shh, calm down, baby," he murmured, and she looked at him, her breathing already starting to calm.

She crawled into Danny's lap, and he held his arms open for her until she was situated. He kissed her head, stroking her hair away from her face comfortingly. Adam leaned over her and kissed her forehead. He cupped his hand around her cheek, and she smiled to herself.

"What's so funny, darling?" Danny asked her, smiling and tucking her hair behind her ear.

I sat down on the edge of the bed, next to Danny, and touched Emily's cheek.

She shook her head, flushing, and we left her alone. We all scattered to find our suitcases that Danny had brought inside. Danny and I got dressed, and Emily stayed in her pajamas. She didn't feel good at all and didn't want to get dressed. I overheard Adam talking with Emily, and smiled when I heard them.

"What were you thinking back there, sweetie?" He asked Emily.

"You'll laugh at me," she mumbled.

"No, I won't! I promise. You're actually my biggest fan, so I could never laugh at you," he soothed her.

"I was thinking that my friends would never believe me if I told them that I slept in the same bed with Adam Lambert. They'd never even start to believe me," she told him.

Adam laughed, and Emily joined him. She could never not laugh when he laughed. Even when she'd watch a video of him, or watch him on a show, and he'd laugh she would laugh so much. His laugh was infectious, as was his smile.

I listened to them laughing and carrying on together. They'd only known each other for about a day and already they were as close as old friends.

We decided to explore around a little, and Emily got dressed tentatively. Adam showed us around, and Emily was excited to take pictures to send to her friends, Xavier, and Sam. Adam was more than happy to take pictures with her so that she would have at least some proof that she was close to her favorite celebrity now that she was living in LA.

Adam had to leave us at the same tiny Italian restaurant from the day before and go to an interview. He hugged Emily, kissing her cheek, and she giggled as he left. He grinned at her from the door and blew her a kiss. She snapped his picture, once when he smiled and again when he blew her a kiss, and then showed Danny and I. She couldn't stop smiling as she flipped through her pictures with him.

"I don't think I've told you this, Emily, but Adam used to be my boyfriend before I knew Tom," Danny told her, and she looked a bit worried.

"Am I not supposed to get attached? You two seem to get along just fine, and I don't want to be the only thing that binds you two. I don't want to tear you and Tom apart either, but if I have to not get attached then don't start something you can't let me finish," she rambled, her face worried almost.

Danny and I laughed. "No, sweetheart. You can get as attached as you want. He's all yours now. That's probably one of the only reasons we were really willing to move you here. We knew that you'd use Adam as a coping mechanism. We're willing to risk everything just so you'll be happy and comfortable in our new home. We've always been great friends, even after we broke up. Nothing has ever been weird between us, and we'll always be good friends."

She nodded and swallowed, but grinned as she looked at another picture of him.

"He makes the funniest faces!" She cried happily, and we both laughed.

Danny pulled his phone out, and sent someone a text. A moment later he got a text back. He read it a laughed.

"He mentioned us in his interview, Em," Danny told her.

"Oh my, God! Really? That's so cool!"

She was actually seeming like a normal teenage girl. She deserved to act like this after what she's gone through. She's been allowed to take the semester off and redo eighth grade instead of going on to ninth grade. She doesn't care, as long as she has Danny and I there for her.

**FYI: I have **_**absolutely no idea**_** where Adam Lambert went to college. I just made it the same college Danny attended to make things work more easily with the story.**

**Adam Lambert © himself**

**Original Characters © AVIDbookworm**


	12. Pain

_Danny_

"Is Emily all right? I heard she wasn't feeling too good," Adam said as I let him inside.

"Yeah. She still doesn't feel very good though. She's got a cough now. You can go see her," I told him, and he smiled at me.

"Adam?" Emily asked, appearing in the foyer.

"Hey, sweetheart. Come here," he crooned, picking her up as he moved past her.

"Hey, Adam," Tom greeted him from in the family room.

Adam took Emily back down into the family room and sat with her on the love seat. Emily grabbed her bag of gummies off the end table and settled against Adam's side. He was dressed in loose jeans and a black t-shirt, and she had on sweatpants and one of Tom's T-Shirts. She fished around in her bag and pulled out a strawberry and cream gummy. She bit off the end of the strawberry and then looked up at Adam.

"You want one?" She asked him.

"No, thanks. I'll pass," he said, and smiled at her.

"I've never seen you so casual. Were you not mauled by press when you came over? Is there going to be a controversy over your wardrobe?" Tom teased.

"Ha. Ha. You're so funny, Tom," Adam snapped, but smiled anyway.

Emily coughed into the crook of her elbow, and Adam wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer to his side. He treated her like his daughter just as much as Tom and I did. The saying 'It takes a village to raise a child' was true.

---

I put the last cup in the dishwasher and closed it, turning it on. My ears perked when I heard coughing upstairs.

"Emmy? Sweetheart, are you all right?" I called to her.

She didn't answer and kept on coughing. I took the stairs two at a time and slid into her room. I moved over to her bed, not bothering to turn the light on.

"Baby, are you okay?" I asked her, and she looked up at me as she stopped coughing.

"Yeah, I'm okay," she mumbled.

I smiled and leaned down to kiss her head. I pushed on her shoulder a little and she laid back down. I laid beside her and rubbed her back until she fell asleep again. I laid there with her for a moment more, just thinking about how much she meant to me. Tom walked past the door in the hall and peeked in. His reading glasses sat perched on his nose, and he smiled.

"Hey, baby," he cooed.

"Who? Me or her?" I teased.

"You know who," he teased back, moving to stand beside me and lean down. He kissed me and I kissed him back.

I felt Emily's hand shove at my shoulder. "Go kiss somewhere else. I'm trying to sleep."

We both laughed, pecking each other on the lips. Tom climbed into the bed and laid on Emily's other side. Tom and I showered Emily with kisses, and her eyes drooped sleepily. It was amazing to feel my baby girl curled up in between the man I loved and myself. She meant the world to both of us, and we knew she didn't care that we were gay and just loved us because we loved her. The love of a child was something so spectacular and something that could never be recreated in a different relationship. The love of a child was so pure, and they will love you no matter what. Tom and I fell asleep on either side of the child we so adored.

Someone's feet padded against my leg, and I woke up. I lifted my head and checked Emily's alarm clock–5:25. I looked over at Tom and his glasses were practically smashed into his face. I reached over, trying to pull them off as gently as possible so I wouldn't wake him up, but he took a deep breath, waking up.

"What's wrong?" He asked me, rubbing at his eyes after I'd pulled his glasses off.

Emily still slept peacefully in between us, and I looked down at her. I smoothed her bangs back and kissed her forehead. I slid out of the bed, and walked around to the other side. Tom had laid his head back down. He looked so exhausted. I slipped my arms under his legs and around his back, lifting him easily into my arms.

"I love it when you carry me like this," he whispered, laying his head on my shoulder.

We had a sweet relationship that went past the sex. We weren't just boyfriends anymore, we were life partners. Although, to make things easier, we just said boyfriend or partner so we didn't confuse people with technical terms. We fell asleep quickly, tangled in an embrace only someone with my legs could end up in.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Ouch!" Tom hissed, jerking away from me.

"I'm sorry," I squeaked, pulling my arms from around him.

He laughed and pulled me back. "It's okay."

He snuggled up to my chest and I replaced my arms around him. Adam had taken Emily out with him for the day to give Tom and I some time together. Being parents to an HIV positive child didn't let you have much time with your partner.

I tensed in surprise when I felt Tom's smooth lips glide across my bare chest. He pressed his hand against my chest, pushing me down onto the bed. I complied, laying down and letting him straddle my legs. He moved his lips from my chest to my lips and as I kissed him back he pinned my arms to the bed. He'd never been _this_ dominant with me before, and, I'll admit, it turned me on.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll leave your hands on the bed. Got it?" Tom whispered in my ear, his hot breath tickling my skin.

I nodded quickly, my breath coming in quick, short gasps. When he released my arms, I curled my fingers into the mattress, gripping the sheet in my hand.

"You've been on the bottom before, haven't you?" Tom asked me, his long fingers running the length of the waistband of my sleep pants. I nodded again and he smiled, the smile he reserved for times like these.

He allowed me to raise my hips off the bed so he could pull my pajama pants and boxers off. He brushed his hand over my cock, and my hips bucked up into his hand. His hands immediately went to my hips, pushing my butt down onto the bed. The muscles in every part of my body were tensing awaiting what they knew was going to happen sometime. Tom was so thin and lithe that I swear he resembled a wild cat when he leaned down to press a possessive kiss to my aching manhood.

"Aren't you glad we can do this without having to close the door or worry about getting caught?" Tom asked me, moving to kiss up my stomach.

"Yes," I hissed, my hips rolling up despite Tom holding them down.

"Stay right there. Don't, for any reason, move. Don't move your hands, don't move your hips," Tom told me, and I nodded.

He slid off of me, and stood next to the bed. I watched him, my eyes trained on his face until he peeled his T-shirt off. He smiled shyly at me, and wiggled out of his pajama pants and boxers. Though he could be dominant in the bed, once he was standing in front of my probing gaze he was blushing and tucking his chin against his chest. I smiled and though he'd specifically told me not to move I sat up and reached for him. He smiled wider and climbed back up into the bed. He pinned me back down onto the bed and a nervous laugh escaped me.

"What did I tell you?" He growled.

"If I hadn't moved, you would have never come back to me. I needed you, baby," I countered, and he rolled his eyes.

"I'm here now, and you'll pay for disobeying me."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Peeling my heavy eyelids open, I winced as lamp light poured into my dilated pupils. I pushed myself up onto my forearms and looked over next to me. I expected to see Tom curled up under the sheets, his back moving with his even breaths. But I didn't.

I saw Adam stretched out on his stomach, his jet black hair falling in his face. Last night's events came flooding back to me, and I shot up in bed. Oh my God. I didn't recognize the bedroom at first but then I registered it as Adam's bedroom in his three-bedroom house in Hollywood Heights, around ten minutes away from my house in LA.

_What have I done?_

I remember going out with Adam last night and getting wasted for the first time since he broke up with me a few weeks after my 21st birthday. I lost my virginity to him on my 21st birthday and he lost his to me on his 21st birthday. My eyes widened when I remembered the night's activities after the club. I covered my mouth with my hand, because A) I was shocked at myself and quite mad at the same time and B) I was very nauseated from the amount of alcohol I'd consumed the night before.

"Oh shit..."

I turned my head when I heard Adam's voice. I didn't answer him for fear that I'd puke if I opened my mouth. I felt the bed shift and Adam sat up.

"Danny, I'm so sorry. I-I wasn't even thinking last night, and–"

I cut him off, turning around fully to look at him. I swallowed hard against the urge to throw up and cradled his face in my hands. He was so beautiful that it hurt to look at him. He looked like he was on the verge of tears.

"No," I said forcefully. "It's not your fault. I did this. I seduced you last night and was an idiot. You're not to blame, sweetie."

"I remember you used to call me that when we were dating. I always loved it," he whispered, looking down and away from me.

"I remember, too. Look at me, Adam," I prompted.

He met my gaze hesitantly and I swallowed again, kissing his forehead.

He looked me in the eye for a moment before he said, "I think I need to go throw up now."

I laughed and he slid out of the bed. I followed after him worriedly and sat with him, rubbing his back, while he threw up. He stood on shaking legs, and I wrapped my arm around his waist.

Though I was dreading going back to tell Tom what I'd done and look at Emily and tell her that I'd spent the night with my ex-boyfriend instead of with my partner, I left Adam at his house with lots of water and something easy to eat.

I walked into my house, and almost broke down right then.

"Danny? Hey, baby, did you have fun with Adam last night?" Tom asked me, grinning and kissing my cheek when he walked into the foyer.

I smiled grimly and rested my hand on his hurting ribs. I knew it was tender and probably that one gentle touch hurt him but he didn't move away.

"Tom, I got very drunk last night and did some things that I'm not happy about. I want you to know that I never planned to do those things and hurt you. If you decide to leave me, then I'm fine with that," I told him. "I had sex with Adam last night, and I won't lie and tell you that I didn't enjoy it or that I imagined it was you, because I didn't imagine it was you and I did enjoy it. I didn't plan to hurt you in any way or make you jealous or whatever. I'm so sorry."

His bright, excited smile had faded now and his big, grey eyes searched mine. I knew he was a very forgiving person, but I doubted that he'd forgive me for this.

"Well," he started, weighing his words. "I know that what you did was wrong, and I know you know that as well. I'm not going to ruin our relationship just because you acted like a douche bag for one night. I know that I shouldn't forgive you, but I will. I'm not going to put our daughter through only seeing each of us for two weeks or whatever weird custody thing a judge would come up with. She doesn't deserve that, and everyone deserves a second chance."

Tears welled up in my eyes, and spilled down my cheeks. I threw myself into Tom's arms, though he was the one that buried his face in my chest.

"Where's Emily?" I asked him, my fingers spread wide on his back.

"She's asleep in our room. We went to get some breakfast and she came back and crashed. I think she's getting even worse," Tom mumbled softly, turning his head to lay it against my chest. "Don't tell her anything. She doesn't need this to weighing on her mind as well. She's already got enough on her plate."

I nodded and buried my face in his shoulder.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Hey, baby girl. Are you doing all right? Do you need anything?" I asked Emily, leaning over her as she sat in the recliner in our living room.

She didn't answer and just looked up at me with tired, brown eyes. I pressed my hand to her forehead, and she moved away.

"Cold," she whimpered, her voice a raspy whisper.

"Tom? Where's the thermometer?" I asked, and Tom appeared behind me with it.

When Tom had accidentally dropped our alcohol thermometer and broken it, we'd bought an arterial thermometer. It was easier and way faster to use. Emily was a puddle in the recliner. He smoothed her hair back and kissed her forehead.

"Baby, you're so hot. Let me put your hair up," he murmured, combing his fingers through her sweaty hair.

She just made a soft, uncaring noise and Tom pulled a hair tie out of his pocket. He pulled her hair back into one of his hands and put her hair in a bun. He wiped at her sweaty neck and she shivered. I kissed her cheek gently. I felt as if I had to be gentle and careful with her or else she would break. She breathed heavily for a second before she lurched forward, coughing. Tom bit his lip, worriedly looking at me. I moved around in front of Emily and pressed the probe to her forehead, sliding it to her temple and releasing the button.

"101.3," I said, and Tom relaxed slightly.

It wasn't horribly high, and we knew that even though the poor thing was miserable she would live.

"Sweetie, do you want anything to eat?" I asked, opening pill bottles and popping pills out of foil packages.

She shook her head and curled her fingers around the several pills I gave her. She took them with her Coke and flopped back against the chair, exhausted.

Tom stroked her hair soothingly and looked into the kitchen. "Take a nap, sweetheart. You need to sleep. You barely slept last night."

I walked into the kitchen and Tom followed after me like a puppy. I still felt horrible about what happened with Adam two days ago, but refrained from bringing it up again. Tom wrapped his arms around my waist, smiling up at me, and I smiled back. I kissed his forehead and wrapped my arms around him, cradling his head in my hand.

The phone rang just as Tom slipped away from me to go make sure Emily was sleeping.

"Hello?" I said, holding the phone between my ear and my shoulder.

"Hello, is this Danny Smith?" A man asked.

"Yes, it is. May I ask who's calling?" I replied.

"This is Dr. Sanders. Do you know an Adam Lambert?"

"Yes, I do. Is he all right?"

"He was in a car accident a few hours ago, and he told us to call you since we couldn't contact any of his family members."

"Do I need to come in and see him? Is everything okay?" I asked, hysteria creeping into my voice.

"He does need someone to take him home and maybe keep an eye on him. He got a concussion and is very beat up from the accident," the doctor said.

"Okay. I'll be in as soon as I can," I told him, and hung up.

"Tom?" I asked, walking into the family room.

He looked up at me from the love seat, leaning his head back to see me. I smoothed his hair off his forehead and kissed his nose.

"I have to go to the hospital. Adam was in a car accident a little while ago, and I need to go pick him up," I told him.

"Oh my gosh! Is he okay?" He asked, jerking around in his seat.

"Yeah, I think so. The doctor said that he got a concussion and he's beat up. I want to check with you and see if it's okay that I bring Adam here to stay with us for a little. He needs to be watched over for a bit but that's all," I explained.

"That's perfectly fine. All that matter's is all that he's okay," he said. "I'll stay here and keep an eye on Emily, though I'm sure she won't wake up for a few more hours."

I nodded, kissed him quickly, and left. I felt so bad for Adam. He'd crashed his black Ford Mustang that he'd had since we were dating.

---

Adam was sitting in a wheelchair with a nurse standing behind him while they waited for me. I gave him a sympathetic look and held onto his arm while he climbed into the car.

"Sweetie, what happened?" I asked him as we drove back to my house.

He looked so distressed and ashamed of something. He glanced up at me quickly but then looked back down at his lap. He was never like this.

"My...boyfriend had just broken up with me, and I didn't want that to happen to you and Tom. I was coming to make sure Tom wasn't pissed at me, and that you weren't about to break up," he explained.

"He's not pissed at you, Adam. I swear. I'm sorry about what happened, but Tom and I aren't going to break up because we could never hurt Emily like that," I told him, reaching over to stroke his hair away from his face.

He looked legitimately exhausted. His black hair was oily and it fell in his face in inky locks.

"Hey, when we get home you can go upstairs and lay in the guest room and just sleep. Everything will be okay. You can just sleep for a while and when you wake up everything will be better," I soothed, laying my hand on his leg.

He flinched and I pulled my hand back.

"Sorry, baby. Is your leg sore there?" I murmured, trying to keep my voice low and soothing.

He tugged his jeans away from the spot and I realized his clothes were dirty and ripped where they'd been cut away from his injuries. A square bandage was taped onto his thigh and he gingerly pulled it off. A deep, but not very long, gash marred his pale, freckled skin. He replaced the bandage and pushed his jeans back over it.

"What happened, Adam?" I asked him, a little firmer than before. "What kind of car hit you?"

He looked at me for a second, and I could tell that he was shaken up from the accident.

Finally, he whispered, "A Hummer. I'm fine though, Danny. Really. I'm just tired and hungry."

I didn't say anything else, worried that he'd start freaking out on me if I continued to bug him.


	13. Worried

_Danny_

When Adam woke up the next morning, he was back to mostly his normal self. He smiled and laughed and joked around with us. He sat up in the guest bed with Emily and watched movies with her.

"Adam, stand up for me. I need to look at the cut that's on your back," I said, and helped him stand up.

Emily was curled up and asleep on the bed, but I knew she wasn't sleeping very soundly. She kept waking up, but forcing herself back asleep. She was exhausted and just wanted to sleep.

Adam pulled his t-shirt off and I brushed my hand over his freckled back.

"I always loved your freckles so much," I murmured, and he chuckled.

"I know. You were obsessed with them," he teased.

"You were just so adorable with your red hair and freckles," I crooned, and grinned.

I carefully pulled the bandage off the deep, nasty cut on the small of his back, and put some more Neosporin on it. I put the bandage back on and he pulled his shirt on.

"I'll be downstairs with Tom if you need anything. You can just call one of our phones. Call us if Emily needs anything, too," I told him and kissed his forehead before leaving.

_*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*_

_Sam_

My cell phone laid on the coffee table in front of me and I watched it as it buzzed once. I reached over, and fumbled with it before I successfully got it in my hand and flipped it open. Being sick sucked a lot. I'd gotten a text from Emily. I smiled a little. She was such an amazing child. I rolled over onto my back, and opened the text message. I didn't recognize the person at first but then it slowly dawned on me that it was Adam Lambert, Emily's favorite musician and Danny's ex-boyfriend, in a recording studio.

The caption said: _You told me to tell you when I met any famous people. I've actually known Adam for two weeks, but whatever. :)_

I smiled and sent her a text back that read: _Congrats. Never thought you'd meet him did you?_

A moment later she sent me a text back: _Nope. But he's really sweet and funny. You'd like him._

I replied with: _Oh really? He's handsome, but I don't think he's my type. ;)_

She sent me another picture of him, but this time he wasn't singing and was actually smiling at the camera. The caption read: _How is this not your type? He's gorgeous and pretty much perfect. But, then again, you have Zay. Happy anniversary, btw!_

I laughed. Today was in fact mine and Xavier's one year anniversary. If I wasn't sick with the flu, we'd probably go out to dinner, but that wouldn't happen since I couldn't get off the couch. I felt horrible for not being able to take my boyfriend of one year out to dinner on our anniversary.

I wrote Emily a text back that said: _Thanks, cutie. I heard you were sick. Are you feeling okay?_

I didn't have to wait long for her to text me back. It read: _I'm feeling better. If I was still sick, Tom and Danny wouldn't have let me out of the house. :)_

The door to the apartment opened, and I looked over at the door. Xavier walked in, and smiled at me.

"Are you feeling any better, baby?" He asked me, coming over and kissing my forehead.

"No," I rasped, unable to make my voice work properly.

Xavier made a sympathetic noise in the back of his throat and brushed my hair away from my face. He kneeled down next to the couch and cupped his hand around my cheek. I refused to kiss him on the lips, afraid that I'd give him the flu too, so he kissed my nose.

"Happy anniversary," he whispered, smiling.

I smiled, but didn't say anything. It hurt to swallow so there was no way I was going to talk if I didn't have to. Zay wouldn't care if I didn't say anything. He knew that I didn't feel good. Both of our phones buzzed. Xavier laughed and showed me his phone. It was a picture from Danny. Emily was standing next to Adam in the recording studio singing along with him.

I grinned and though it made me cough and hurt my throat I laughed.

"She deserves to have these experiences for all she's gone through," Xavier said, and sent Danny a text back. "Sweetie, do you need anything?"

I shook my head and snuggled back down under my blankets. Xavier pressed his hand to my forehead, and I sucked in a breath. His hand was so cold. He sighed and yanked one of the blankets off me. He reached underneath my last blanket and pulled off my sleep pants.

"No!" I squeaked, curling up.

"You need to take them off, Sam. You're way to hot. If you don't cool down, I'll have to take you to the hospital," he told me.

I let him pull them off of me but I wasn't very happy about it. Zay disappeared for a moment, but came back a moment later in sleep pants and a T-shirt. He climbed into my little bed on the couch with me and I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck and nuzzling up close to him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"You're thinking about getting her a dog? Why in the world would you subject yourself to that?" Xavier asked Danny over the phone.

I was feeling much better after being dead to the world for a week. Xavier sat down on the couch next to me, rubbing at his forehead and talking to Danny.

"Baby, get off the phone, please," I whined, laying my head over on his shoulder.

He laughed and said good-bye to Danny.

"What is it, sweetie?" He asked me, stroking my hair away from my face.

"I just wanted you to myself. I was being selfish," I teased, nipping at his ear.

He shivered and smiled.

"I bought strawberries today, do you want some?" He asked, and I nuzzled against his throat.

"Strawberries would be great," I purred, leaving a kiss on his neck.

He slipped out of my arms, and I instantly missed him. He came back a few moments later, sliding back into my embrace and kissing me.

"Close your eyes," he murmured, kissing my jaw.

I let my eyelids flutter closed, and smiled.

"Open."

I obeyed, letting my lips fall apart. I felt a coolness touch my lips and I opened my mouth farther, biting down on the succulent fruit. A trail of juice ran down my chin, and I felt Xavier's warm tongue slid along it and my lips, collecting the red liquid.

I smiled and kissed him, after swallowing the sweet strawberry. He accepted my kiss, smiling against my lips.

I let my eyes open and I pulled away. I smiled once more at him, took another strawberry from the bowl, and held it in between my teeth. Xavier sank his teeth into the other side and smiled. We bit down further into the fruit and when we'd successfully cut all the way through we kissed again.

An hour or two later, Xavier had fallen asleep on top of me and I gladly let him. I stroked my hand through his hair and then down his back soothingly.

* * *

_Danny_

"Did you have fun?" I asked Tom when he got home from going out with Adam.

"Yeah, but I didn't sleep with him. Just so you know," he teased.

I scowled at him, and he laughed. I sighed and he stepped closer. We held our arms out in sync, and Tom leaned up, wrapping his arms around my neck. I slid my arms around his waist and ducked my head to kiss him.

"Mm, strawberries," I hummed, moving to nuzzle his cheek after the kiss.

"I had Schnapps," he said, kissing me again.

"Yum."

He laughed and nuzzled my throat, leaving a kiss on my collarbone.

"I miss this," he whispered after a moment.

"I do too, but we've always got to have change or else our lives would be so boring," I told him, kissing his ear.

"True. I'm exhausted. Let's go lay down," he murmured, and moved out of my arms.

I followed him upstairs and we changed into our pajamas, crawling into bed and curling up with each other.

---

"Bye, sweetheart. I love you and I hope you have fun," I told Emily, kissing her cheek.

She smiled and took off in the direction of Adam. Tom smiled at her when she turned back for a moment, and waved to her. She waved back and turned back around, talking to Adam as they walked away. I chuckled and turned to Tom. His eyes widened when he realized something.

"You put your hoops in," he said, and leaned up to touch my ear.

"Yeah. You just now noticed?" I laughed.

He flushed and I smiled. I leaned down and kissed him, stroking his hair away from his face.

"I'm just kidding, baby," I murmured, and he smiled, leaning up again to kiss me.

His fingers brushed over the silver hoops in my left ear.

"Come on, let's go home," I prodded, tugging on his waist.

He smiled and we turned around to walk back to the car.

"Danny, what are we going to do about money?" He asked me, his grey eyes worried and concerned.

I kissed his forehead. "I don't know, sweetie. I'm working on getting a job, I promise."

"I don't doubt you, but I just don't want Emily to get worried," he mumbled.

"I know," I whispered, watching my feet as I walked.


	14. Nightmare

_Tom_

I was almost always the first one awake on any given day. I was very careful to not jostle Danny as I slipped from the bed since he was a light sleeper. I dressed quietly to go on a run and watched my boyfriend to make sure I didn't wake him up. I leaned down, smoothing his mahogany curls from his forehead, and left a soft kiss there. He swallowed in his sleep, his fingers curling slightly, and I smiled.

"I love you," I whispered in his ear, before leaving another kiss on his forehead and leaving.

All I could think about was last night. Danny had comforted me when nightmares woke me up during the night, then made me forget it all by making love to me. He'd held me while I cried and cried, and then held me as he moved slowly inside me. I wasn't really into it for a while, still trying to get the plaguing images from my mind, but as he talked to me soothingly and distracted me, all while hitting my sweet spot, I gave over to him. We kept my nightmares a secret from Emily, unless she asked. We weren't going to lie to her, and she had a right to know if she wanted.

One time around the neighborhood, and I was walking back through the front door. Adam had already left for something, passing by me and honking in his Jaguar coupe. Danny was up, but my baby girl was nowhere to be seen.

"Hey, babe. Have a good run?" Danny asked me, leaning down to give me a kiss.

"Yeah. It was fine," I said absently.

Danny sighed, sitting his coffee mug on the counter, and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against him. He kissed my sweaty forehead, not even caring that I was sticky and hot.

"What's wrong?" He asked me, his warm brown eyes gentle and concerned.

"N—"

"Do not, whatever you do, say 'nothing'," he told me sternly, touching my nose.

I sighed, and laid my head on his chest. His hand came up, cradling my head, and he leaned down to kiss the crown of my head.

"I'm still thinking of my nightmares," I told him.

"Oh, sweetheart, you're safe. I promise," he crooned, his fingers stroking my back soothingly.

"I know," I whimpered.

"Come on. You need to take a shower, and relax," Danny prodded, taking a hold of me by my waist and pulling me along with him.

I was shaking when I climbed into the shower after stripping from my running clothes. Danny followed me, and I tried to smile when he pulled me against him, my back against his chest. He smoothed his big hands over my stomach, making me tremble harder. I caught his hands before they went lower, pulling away.

"I don't want to do that right now, Danny," I snapped at him.

"I wasn't going to do that, Tom. I was going for your hips so I could turn you around so I could try and comfort you some more. It kills me for you to be this distant and upset," he said, his voice even and calm.

I felt bad for snapping at him, and that added to my misery. I stared at the tile wall, the water droplets drizzling down it. I felt Danny's hands on my back, kneading gently. I arched with his prodding fingers, moaning softly. He leaned closer, kissing my shoulder blade, and I put a hand on the wall to steady myself. I hung my head when I could feel myself getting hard. Danny had something over me; just touching me could comfort me or turn me on. But then add his deep voice, and I would be a goner in either direction.

"I won't touch you if you don't want me to, but I will if you do," Danny whispered, his breath hitting my neck.

I gasped as he suckled gently on my pulse. "Please."

"Please, what?" He taunted. "Tell me what you want, baby."

"Touch me, please," I whined, and gasped loudly when his hand wrapped around my member.

I moved to press my forehead to the cool tile wall and gritted my teeth so I wouldn't make too much noise. Danny wrapped his arm around my waist, helping hold me upright.

"You can make noise, honey. The heater's on and it's loud enough so no one can hear us," Danny told me, nuzzling against my neck.

I nodded quickly, a soft noise of pleasure sounding in the back of my throat. I wasn't loud when we did things like this anyway. Danny, though he seemed like the type, wasn't either. We'd encourage each other and make some noise, but never very loudly.

"Do you want me to make love to you, sweetheart?" He asked me, and my face grew hot.

It always got me flustered when he asked that. I didn't want to say yes, and him not exactly feel like it; but I didn't want to say no, and him want to do it.

"Tom?"

I pressed my forehead harder into the wall, and sniffed, fighting back tears.

"Aw, sweetie, what's the matter?" He cooed, his wet hands sliding down my slick back.

"Make me forget," I moaned, my voice tight and pained.

"Are you sure, baby? I don't want to do this and you not want it," he murmured, stroking my hair.

"I want it, Danny. Please, I just need you to help me forget. Make me forget my name," I cried, tears slipping down my cheeks.

"Turn around for me, darling," he ordered gently.

I didn't exactly want to face him while crying, but I turned around, looking at the floor. I felt his hand underneath my chin, and his picked my head up to look at me. I'm sure I looked like a wreck. He sighed, cupping my cheek in his big hand, and leaned in to kiss me. I tilted my head back more, so he wouldn't have to lean down so far, and cried harder when his lips touched mine. He held me tight against his chest, not letting me get away, and moved his hand from my cheek to the back of my neck.

He pulled away after a moment, his hand sliding down to my thigh.

"Come on," he breathed, bringing my leg up to hook it over his hip.

He helped get me up into his arms, and I gripped him so tightly once I was there.

"Shhhh, easy, sweetheart. It's alright," he soothed me, kissing my forehead.

I felt instantly safer when I was in his arms and he was easing inside me. I let my head fall back to smack into the hard tile that was pressed against my back and Danny chuckled.

"Don't hurt yourself, babe," he chided me, though his tone was soothing, gentle, and loving.

I sobbed hard into Danny's shoulder as he held me up and made love to me as the water cascaded down around us. My climax was almost painful, and Danny held me even tighter as my spine locked up.

"Shhhh," he hushed me after we'd both finished and he'd pulled out of me. "I know it's hard, I know. You're safe; nothing's going to hurt you. You're here with me, and you're protected. I won't let anything happen to you, sweetheart. I promise."

"Don't promise me anything," I moaned, my nails digging into his back.

"Alright, honey, alright. I won't promise you anything," he soothed me, kissing my forehead and cradling my head in his hand.

He carefully stood me back down on the floor, and washed me off quickly. I let him do what he wanted, since I could never order him around and I didn't care. His adorable curls were mashed to his head once we got out. I shivered even though the heater was on, and was shocked at my reflection in the mirror. The man looking back at me was thin and pale. Dark circles resided underneath his puffy, red eyes, and his lips were swollen and bruised. His cheeks were stained with tear tracks, and his entire face was flushed. Danny stood behind me, and he looked at me worriedly, biting his bottom lip. I crossed my arms over my chest, curling my shoulders inward.

"Baby, you're not doing too well," he said, laying his hand on my waist gently.

"I know," I muttered, looking down.

Danny leaned down, his lips pursing against my head. I didn't have any energy left, and I just wanted to curl up and sleep for the entire day. I made myself dry off and walk back to mine and Danny's room. When I reached for my jeans, Danny smacked my hand.

"Sleep," he told me, pointing at our bed. "Now. You need it."

I looked up at him, and I'm sure I looked like I was about to collapse. I glanced anxiously back at the bed. I didn't want the nightmares to come back. God, I sounded like a little kid.

I shook my head, even too tired to speak.

"Come on, baby. You look _so_ exhausted. It's not good for you to do this to yourself," Danny pleaded, touching my back.

I refused, taking a step away from him and the bed and snatching up my jeans. Danny sighed heavily through his nose, and stepped in front of me. If he was a soldier, I'd be terrified of him if I was the enemy. I would _not_ mess with him. I don't make him mad unless I know what I'm getting into. I shrank away from him, squeezing my eyes closed.

"If you do not at least lie down for a few minutes, so help me, I will tie you to that bed," he said, his voice like ice.

I shivered, and jumped when he touched my waist. I pulled away quickly, and glared at him from by the closed door.

"Don't touch me," I growled, my upper lip curling up in distaste.

Danny didn't say anything, his chest heaving with another heavy sigh. I didn't want to fight with him. He was my everything and the one thing in the world I thrived on. I looked down at the floor, ashamed, and stepped over to him. I curled my arms underneath my chest and laid my head on his chest. He shifted, wrapping his arms around me, and I felt warm lips against my forehead.

"I don't want to fight," I mumbled. "I just don't have it in me today."

"Okay, sweetie. We'll fight tomorrow," Danny teased.

"You're horrible," I told him, but smiled at his joke.

"I know, but you love me anyway."

"That I do."

---

"Dad?"

Both Danny and I shot up when Emily called us, anxiety laced in her voice.

We both flew out of the bed, rushing into her room. It was odd that she'd slept so late, but maybe she'd just been tired.

Danny turned her light on, and both of us stopped in our tracks. She was crying, sobbing so hard she gagged, and blood covered her hands as she held them to her face. This was definitely a problem.

---

We'd called an ambulance, and now we were at the hospital. Adam sat next to Danny, anxiously bouncing his knee. The doctor walked out and all three of us were instantly standing.

"How is she?" Danny asked him, squeezing my hand.

"She's fine. I just left her having a discussion about music with one of the nurses. Well, we took some blood, and tested it. It came up saying that she has leukemia," he explained.

My jaw went slack.

This was like a death sentence.

Danny swallowed hard, and Adam looked at the floor.

"How did she get it?" Danny asked.

"We don't know. I know you know she's HIV positive so you obviously know that she doesn't have a very good chance to beat this."

We all nodded, and he led us to her room. She was sitting by herself on the bed cross-legged, and looked so tired. She looked up as we walked in and smiled slightly.

"They told you?" She asked us.

"Yeah, sweetie, they did," Danny said, stroking her hair away from her face.

The night before, Adam had dyed her hair for her since she'd really wanted to and she'd watched him so many times go from slightly redhead to jet black. She had dark red/auburn hair now, and it looked as if it was her normal hair color. It was great to see and hear them talking and laughing in the bathroom together, having a great time with each other.

This was going to be hard, but we had to be there for our baby girl.


	15. Charleston

_Danny_

It was three days before Emily started going downhill. She was scared, but she didn't show it very much. Probably to not freak us out.

"Can I talk to you guys separately?" She asked us, her eyes so tired and her face sweaty.

"Of course," Tom assured her.

"Thanks. Adam, stay."

He nodded, smiling, and sat down in the chair nearest her. Tom and I sat in the hallway, pressed close to each other, and waited.

Adam came out, tears pooling in his blue eyes, and sat down next to me as Tom stood. I wrapped my arm around his shoulders, pulling him close as he cried. I dreaded having to look Emily in the eye and say good-bye to her.

Tom came out a few minutes later, tears falling from his stormy grey eyes. He looked even more exhausted than he had three days earlier. He looked beat up and worn. This is what he and I had dreaded since the day we found out Emily had HIV.

I stood after kissing both Adam and Tom's foreheads and taking a deep breath.

Emily smiled at me when I came in, and I tried to smile back. She sat up a little more, leaning back against her pillows, and watched me.

"You and Tom can't grieve forever, Danny. Promise me that you'll move on," she started.

"I promise," I forced out. "But I will not promise you that we'll adopt again. You're our one and only daughter, and no one can ever replace you."

She smiled a little. "I don't want you to promise me that. I know that I'll never be replaced. You and Tom made sure I knew that."

I smiled a little more at her, reaching over to hold her hand.

"I just want you to know that I love you and Tom both so much, and you both gave me the best months of my life," she told me, tears collecting in her beautiful brown eyes.

When I went to get Tom and Adam, I was met with all of our families as well. Tom's family was there; his parents, Jasper, and Annabelle. My family was there; my parents, my siblings (Aaron, Leroy, Nicole, Xavier), and their significant others. Sam's cousin Jack and Jack's partner Jacey were there. Jacey's family was there; his parents and Felix. Sam's family was there; his parents and older sister. Adam's parents were even there, his brother too. The afternoon and evening was filled with tears and laughter.

It was at 12:55 A.M. when Emily passed away in her sleep.

Tom and I were both sitting there at her bedside, wide awake; when the heart monitor brought us the worst news we could ever receive. The doctor came in, gave us sympathetic looks, and announced the time of death. Neither of us said anything. We called our families a little while after we'd both said our final good-byes. We would fly back to Georgia to bury her and have the funeral. She'd be buried in our family section of the cemetery. She deserved the best.

It wasn't until two weeks later that we returned to LA. Adam and his family had flown out to the funeral, though his brother and parents had only met Emily once or twice.

---

_Tom_

We decided to get away from the city that reminded us of our daughter, and move to Charleston. It was close enough to our family, but it was far enough away that we had time to ourselves. We were sad to leave Adam, but kept in touch with him every day. It was difficult, but I resigned from the Army since I just didn't have it in me anymore. Telling Danny this had been even harder.

"_Is there an Army base near Charleston that you can transfer to?" He asked me as we packed up our stuff._

"_Yeah, but it doesn't matter," I said, ducking my head to watch what I was doing._

"_What do you mean it doesn't matter?" He wondered._

"_I'm resigning," I said, flinching._

"_What? Why?" He sounded more concerned than angry._

"_I can't do it anymore," I mumbled, settling onto the carpet._

_I tensed when I felt him sit behind me, his legs framing mine, and wrap his arms around me. He kissed my head, nuzzling his face into my hair._

"_I just want to make sure you're making the right decision," he murmured, pulling my head back to look at him._

"_I am. I've thought about it a lot. I just can't do it anymore," I whispered, all energy suddenly drained from me._

"_Shh," Danny hushed me, kissing my temple as I shifted to sit more comfortably in his lap._

_My back was to the doorway, but I heard someone approach but then stop quickly._

"_Something wrong?"_

_I recognized the voice as Adam's, but I didn't turn to look at him._

"_Tom's resigning from the Army," Danny told him, looking up at him._

"_Oh," Adam breathed, and I felt him sit down next to us._

_He tentatively touched my back, and I forced myself not to arch into his touch. I loved back rubs. Danny kissed my forehead softly, murmuring 'I love you' against my skin, and stroked my hipbone underneath my T-shirt with the soft pad of his thumb._

_An hour later, I was fine again and dressed in my Army dress uniform. I smoothed my hands over the coat, sighing at myself in the mirror. Adam walked into the bathroom, smiling at me in the mirror._

"_You look pretty kick-ass. I wish I could pull that off. But I'm too wimpy to be in the Army," he joked, sitting on the edge of the tub behind me._

_I laughed. "Thanks. It's definitely not easy, but it's rewarding._

_Adam smiled again and followed me out. Danny was waiting downstairs by the door for me, smiling when I walked down the stairs._

"_God, you're so handsome in that," he said, his pink tongue touching his top lip._

_I flushed, and ducked my head. He laughed, hugging me and kissing my forehead._

"_You'll be fine," he promised me._

_He leaned down to kiss me and I stood up on my toes to reach him. Our mouths molded together for a moment, before we pulled away and I had to leave._

"_Go get 'em, tiger," Danny purred, kissing me once more before I left._

---

I woke up on the second Sunday we were in our beach house in Charlestown, to find Danny already up. He was sitting on our screened in porch, only wearing jeans, in one of our two Adirondack chairs. His coffee mug sat on the arm of the chair, and he watched the ocean outside. He looked a little sweaty, obviously since we'd only _just_ went to sleep after making love for a few hours. His chest rose and fell when I quietly padded closer and he didn't seem to notice me.

"I was hoping you'd sleep a little longer," he mumbled, never looking up at me and letting his eyes stay trained on the gentle waves outside.

I bit my lip, not sure what to do now. He seemed distant and reserved, which unnerved me. He was never like this.

"Come here."

He sat his mug on the floor, patting his leg before opening his arms for me. I felt odd in only his T-shirt and my briefs, but sat down anyway. He sighed heavily, content, and kissed my forehead. I carefully eased my weight onto his chest, not sure if he was still able to hold all my weight. I didn't want to hurt him.

"I'm not fine china, Tommy. I'm a 6-foot-8 _tree_ and weigh 250 pounds. You can lay on me," he assured me, chuckling and nuzzling against my hair.

Good, he wasn't angry or upset.

He glanced over his shoulder for a second, his entire body tensing, before he stopped, turning back around and looking out at the ocean again.

"What was it, baby?" I asked him, sitting up a little to better see his face.

"I thought—" He stopped himself, shaking his head.

"Tell me, Danny. Please," I pleaded, cradling his face in my hands.

He looked at me, his warm brown eyes sad and hollow.

"I thought I heard footsteps," he mumbled, breaking eye contact.

I understood completely what he meant. We both sometimes thought we heard the soft, careful padding of tiny feet on the hardwood floor like we used to back in LA. But it was just a trick of the mind, and we were always left feeling like someone had carved out our organs with a dull knife and taunted us. A lot of times I'd sit up in bed, thinking someone was calling me, but would hear nothing but silence once I listened hard. It was enough to keep me up the rest of the night.

I laid my head on Danny's shoulder, bringing my hand up to stroke his chest soothingly. He rested his head on top of mine, sighing again. He slipped his hand up his T-shirt I wore and touched my chest. I looked down at his hand and then up at him.

"You still don't have chest hair, baby. I feel so sorry for you," he teased.

I pouted, crossing my arms over my chest, and he laughed at me.

"Don't remind me," I muttered unhappily.

He laughed sympathetically, making a sound close to an 'aw', and kissed my forehead.

"Well, we can't all be like you," I told him irritably.

"Oh, sweetie, don't be angry. I'm sorry," he apologized, nuzzling against my cheek and leaving a kiss there.

I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck and crushing my lips to his. I pulled away a moment later with a soft, wet _pop_.

"I'm not angry," I told him, tilting my head to the side and smiling at him.

He laughed, pulling me closer, and molded his mouth to mine. It was a soft, closed-mouth kiss, but it was sweet. We didn't care much for French kissing. Though we sometimes did kiss like that, it wasn't very often. We liked the warm feeling of each other's mouths and the way each other tasted, but it was unexplainable how we disliked it.

Thunder rolled in the distance, and my back tensed. It was odd for an Army soldier to be afraid of storms, but if I was on duty and there was a storm I was perfectly fine and it didn't affect me. It was only when I was with Danny did they scare me.

"Shh," Danny hushed me, nuzzling my face up for another soft kiss.

Danny loved storms, saying they were beautiful and _sometimes_ arousing. We'd often made love during storms, to distract me and get rid of Danny's erection. It was funny how different we were, but then again how the same we were. Lightening lit up the clouded sky, and I jumped, anxiously eyeing the outside world through the screen of our porch.

"I still cannot believe that you're afraid of storms," Danny said, shaking his head and chuckling.

I glared at him, my eyebrows pulled down low in irritation. He reached up, smoothing the creases in my forehead with his fingers, and when my face relaxed he smiled, curling his finger under my chin.

"I didn't say it wasn't endearing and increasingly adorable that you were afraid of storms. I think it's the cutest thing in the world that you don't like storms. I love being able to protect you from _one_ thing in this world. Albeit it's thunder, lightening, and rain, but that's not the point," he told me, and I met his brown eyes.

"I can't help it," I whimpered, my lower lip sticking out.

Danny laughed, throwing his head back, and I grinned at him

The sky became even darker as we sat there, and when a bright flash of lightening lit the clouds and a loud clap of thunder sounded I jumped so violently I almost fell out of Danny's lap. He gripped me tightly, worriedly watching me as I trembled in his arms. I looked at him, my eyes full of fear and anxiety, silently pleading with him to go inside with me. Rain poured down on the house and all around us, creating ripples in the water as waves crashed mockingly on the shore.

He stood (grabbing his discarded coffee mug as well), and I folded my legs around his waist, holding myself onto his torso as he helped hold me up. He dropped his mug in the sink as he passed, then more easily and comfortably helped hold me close as he carried me. I was hesitant to let him carry my entire weight, but he leaned down to whisper to me that he was more than able to carry me. I carefully let my weight rest on his arms, and he chuckled softly, nuzzling against my face and leaving a kiss on my ear.

"Good boy," he murmured, and I smiled.

He eased me onto the couch instead of roughly dropping me like he has many times before. He situated himself behind me on the amazingly soft and comfy couch, and spooned me. He nudged my legs apart and slipped his strong leg in between mine. I bit my lip and smiled to myself. He was so incredibly tall that his hips came to the backs of my thighs; his knees to my calves if not my ankles. I seemed so much smaller than 6'1''. Maybe I'd shrunk. It's not impossible. He found my scar on my back, and kissed it through the T-shirt fabric. His thumb found the matching one on my shoulder and stroked it softly. I shuddered, remembering that all too well. I got that the first time I was called overseas. I didn't know Danny very well then, but we wrote to each other and when I got back we were inseparable. He'd been so worried about me when I showed him those matching scars from where I was shot, but he loved them now since they showed that I'd been very brave and done immeasurable good for my country.

"Do you want to go to the movies today?" He asked me, nuzzling against my back.

"Sure, what do you want to see?" I asked him.

"Hm, I don't know. We could see _Dear John_," he suggested. "That looks like a good movie. Didn't you read the book?"

"Yeah, I did. It was a really good book. We could see that."

"Mm, do you wanna get up now?" His voice was muffled against my back.

"Yeah, I don't wanna lay in the house all day," I said, turning over to face him. I leaned up, pressing my lips to his, and smiled when I pulled back.

He laced our hands together, and kissed our linked knuckles. I could tell the difference in our skin color. I was mostly Cajun, being born in New Orleans, and my skin was tanner than Danny's since he was born in Kentucky (the same little town Xavier was born in: Berea). I wasn't a lot tanner, since I had an odd aversion to the sun, but naturally I had darker pigment in my skin. I was so happy when the Saints won the Superbowl this year, and since I loved them so much Danny had rooted for them too.

We took long enough to eat something and get dressed that the entire storm was over by the time we stepped outside. The sun shone, and there wasn't one cloud in the sky. Danny wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me close as we walked to the car.

"See, I told you these storms only last fifteen minutes," he whispered, kissing my temple. "You shouldn't get so upset. You know I won't let anything hurt you."

"I know, I know," I muttered, but smiled anyway.

He smiled too, nuzzling against my hair, and we got in the car.

The ride was uneventful. Danny held my hand, not letting me pull it away, and occasionally kissing my hand, making me blush and look out the window. I had on my T-shirt from this year's Mardi Gras when Danny and I had taken a trip down to New Orleans. It had been a blast, since I hadn't been back to New Orleans since I graduated from college.

Danny and I had sacrificed so much in such a small amount of time, so now it was time for us to get it all back.


	16. Help

_Danny_

A heavy wave threw me from my surfboard, and I was sucked underneath the water. I pulled myself back to the top, holding onto my board. I could see Tom on the porch, curled up in one of the Adirondack chairs holding a book. I hauled myself onto my board and stuck my fingers in my mouth, wolf whistling at him. His head shot up, and he looked towards me, grinning. I winked at him, paddling toward the shore. I jogged up the sand to the house, leaning my surfboard against the side, and stepped up onto the porch.

"Hey," Tom said, still reading his book.

"Good morning." I smiled when he looked a little confused.

"Is it?" He asked.

"Yeah. It's like…" I looked at the clock that hung over the door into the house. "Nine o' clock."

"Oh," he mumbled stupidly.

I laughed at him, and he threw his book at me. I caught it, tossing it back.

"Come inside if you want food," I told him, shouldering open the door.

"You're evil," he growled, following me.

"No, I'm not. You just want to believe I am," I countered, looking over my shoulder at him.

He scoffed. "You're tracking water all in the house."

"You just now realized that I'm soaking wet. I came out of the _ocean_. Ever heard of it?" I mocked him.

"You're hilarious."

It wasn't until Tom tripped over something, falling right on his face and getting a busted lip did we stop snapping at each other. He sat curled up underneath my left arm on the couch while holding a tissue and ice pack to his lip while I sat on a towel, still in my bathing suit. I noticed a little bit of bruising underneath his left eye, and his eyes watered a little.

"Honey, did you break your nose?" I asked him, carefully brushing my finger over the bruising.

He flinched, sniffling. "Probably."

"Oh, God. Alright, come on. We have to go to the ER," I said, standing.

He didn't move, but sniffled again. I got him to look at me, and coaxed him out to the car. I promised him that we'd relax when we came back home, and grabbed a T-shirt so I wouldn't be half naked in the emergency room.

---

Tom _did_ have a broken nose, but it wasn't horrible. The swelling had gone down exceptionally fast since we'd put ice on it after I suspected it was broken. It had taken a little while to get to the hospital, so it had had time to go down. The doctor just had to straighten out the cartilage and he didn't need a splint or anything. Tom looked increasingly exhausted as we drove home. I told him to sleep, but he refused. He wanted to sleep when we got home.

I supported most of his weight as we walked into the house. He stumbled some, but I held onto his waist tightly. I left him on the couch, and got us both something to drink. I put in a movie (_Star Trek_ since we were both dorks inside) and lay with him on the couch. He curled up on top of me like a doting cat, and almost instantly fell asleep after taking a few sips of his Coke. I stroked his back idly, paying more attention to him sleeping than the movie. He looked finally peaceful and serene and I was happy to let him use me as a pillow.

---

I jumped slightly when I felt warm arms wrap around my waist from behind me. I smiled when Tom's hands stroked my belly softly, and chuckled.

"Is something wrong?" I asked him.

He buried his face in between my shoulder blades, being mindful of his nose and lip.

"No," he mumbled, leaving a tentative kiss on my back.

"I made lunch, do you want some?" I asked him, touching his hands.

"Sure. What are you about to feed me?" He asked, coming to stand at my side, underneath my arm.

I chuckled again, and kissed his head. He looked up at me, his soft grey eyes sparkling though they were underlined with purple bruises. I pursed my lips against his smooth forehead, smiling at him once I'd pulled away.

"Chicken salad," I told him.

"Mmmm, sounds delicious. Just like everything else you make," he said, pressing even closer to my side.

"Go sit down at the table and I'll bring it to you. I already set up plates and everything."

"I don't know why you don't go to work as a chef. I mean, you're friendly enough to be a waiter, but you cook _amazingly_." He left a kiss on my shoulder, since that's as far as he could reach, and pulled away.

I laughed, fixing our sandwiches, and took them to the table. Tom had settled at the table, and was watching his lap. He looked up when I walked in, and straightened in his chair. He looked miserable, his lip busted and his nose bruised, and I felt incredibly sorry for him.

After we ate, I finally changed out of my bathing suit while Tom lay on the bed watching the ceiling. The doorbell rang downstairs, which was odd, and Tom got up to get it. I heard multiple voices, and as I pulled on my shirt, walked out to see who was here.

"Danny! Put your shirt on and come downstairs!" My brother, Aaron, called, grinning at me when I came into view.

"What are you guys doing here?" I asked, embracing my mom when I got downstairs.

"We decided to come see your new house, and see how you were doing," Nicole said, smiling when Leroy wrapped his arm around her.

My mom made her _amazing_ hot fudge sundaes for all of us, and I was happy to see that my parents were a lot more affectionate with Xavier. They must have gotten over the fact that he was gay (though it's been around four years since he came out) but I'd rather them wait it out instead of never getting over it. My dad ruffled Xavier's blond hair that matched his, and they both laughed. My mom fixed Xavier's glasses when Nicole accidentally hit them and set them askew on his nose.

Tom retreated to our walk-in pantry, and I knew something was obviously wrong. I waited until my family was caught up in talking, before following after him. He glanced up at me as I towered over him, before going back to watching the floor. I scooped a little bit of ice cream onto my spoon and offered it to him.

"Might help," I murmured, and he looked at the spoon before closing his mouth around it.

He shrugged as he swallowed the ice cream, and I studied him for a second. He seemed so thin and his clothes didn't seem to fit anymore. He laughed and smiled, but not as much as he had before. His nightmares were getting worse, and I feared they weren't all about the Army.

"Are you all right?" I asked him.

He looked up at me fully, raising his head, and met my eyes.

"Yeah," he said, his voice steady, but his eyes wavered.

We stared at each other for a moment, before he smiled a little at me.

"I love you," he told me.

I smiled back at him, and reached to cup my hand around the back of his neck.

"I love you too."

I ducked my head down and kissed him, being mindful of his lip. He was hesitant at first, but leaned up to kiss me back a second later.

"Come on, you two lovebirds. You're melting the ice cream," Xavier teased from in the kitchen.

I turned around and glared at him, sighed, set my ice cream bowl on a shelf in the pantry, and grabbed Tom. I crushed our lips together, coaxing his lips open with mine. He was tense in my arms, seeming to be in a state of shock, until I ran my tongue along his teeth. He kissed me back with a fiery passion, gripping my arms, and I could hear my family groaning and laughing. I pulled away with a soft _smack_ of our wet lips, and grinned at my family.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The moon shone brightly in the dark sky, and I watched it intently out the window. My sweatpants rode low on my hips, and I tensed slightly when I felt warm hands slide down them to grip my hipbones. The soft pads of Tom's thumbs massaged the muscles of my lower back. I groaned softly, and he leaned closer to kiss my back.

"Come to bed," he murmured against the skin of my back.

I nodded, and turned around, picking him up. His excited laugh could only be described as a giggle, and he kissed me. His lip was almost totally healed, and the bruises around his nose were yellowed. I carried him to the bed, easing him down, and nuzzled my face into his neck.

We kissed for a minute until we were both out of breath, and when I asked Tom is he actually wanted to make love tonight he responded breathlessly.

"Uh-huh," he panted, crushing his lips to mine again.

Though we were fast in removing clothes, we were slow with our love making like _most_ nights. Before I could catch Tom after pulling his shorts off, he'd rolled over onto his belly and hit his iPod Touch on his iHome. We got through one song, and then Michael Bublè's "Georgia On My Mind" started up. This was one of Tom's favorite songs, and it was about to become his all time favorite. As Michael hit a long note on the word 'fly', Tom arched up, his chest pressing against mine, and cried out. He panted out my name over and over as he came, a quiet sob coming from his chest. I nuzzled against his cheek, and left a gentle kiss there. He quieted, watching me intently as I squeezed my eyes closed as I came.

His mouth fell open slightly when I pulled out of him, his entire body tensing. He relaxed immediately when I laid down next to him, reaching over to roughly turn off his iPod, and snuggled up to my chest.

"Baby, you're so beautiful when you're all sweaty and shaky from sex," I purred, and he chuckled shakily.

"Well, me being shaky and sweaty from sex means that I need to go to sleep. I'm so tired," he mumbled, and I kissed his forehead.

"Fine," I sighed, but grinned. "I love you. Sleep tight."

He smiled wistfully as he dozed off against my chest. I carefully pulled the sheet and quilt over us, and Tom shivered slightly in his sleep. I kissed his forehead again before following him into the welcoming darkness of unconsciousness.

**FYI: That part with the ice cream I stole from an episode of Brothers & Sisters. I'm in love with that show now.**


	17. Ring

_Tom_

I sat on the couch holding a mug of hot tea, and watched the floor in front of me. It was 6:00 AM, and I was obviously the first and only one up. Danny still slept quietly upstairs, but I wished he was down here with me. I didn't feel like drinking my tea, and sat it on the end table. Life was meaningless now to me, and I had the hardest time living each day.

Danny had mentioned a therapist, since there were many for soldiers _and_ gay men, but I was unsure. He'd also talked about a journal or a blog, but I just didn't want to open up to anyone even myself.

I decided that since I was up that I'd make breakfast. It wouldn't be as good as if Danny made it, but I tried. I got worried when Danny didn't come downstairs after I struggled through breakfast and turned on the weather though I knew it would be in the mid 60s or low 70s. It was close to 9:30 now, and I climbed the stairs carefully. I peeked into our room, finding Danny still asleep and stretched across our huge bed. His ring on his left hand glinted in the sliver of light I let into the room by opening the door. I glanced down at my hand, but remembered my ring was sitting on my nightstand next to my phone. I slipped into the room, shutting the door, and padded silently over to my husband. We didn't usually say husband but it felt good and I made a mental note to talk to Danny about that. I sat on the edge of the bed, and smoothed Danny's hair back. He swallowed and blinked his eyes open at me.

"Hey, sleepyhead," I crooned, smiling.

He sniffled, and swallowed hard again.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, running my hand through his curly hair.

He pushed himself up, rubbing at his eyes, and stared at me. "I feel horrible."

I bit my lip, and linked my hand with his in his lap.

"I'm sorry," I said, and felt his warm hand on my cheek.

I looked up at him, and he smiled, leaning forward to kiss my forehead.

"I made breakfast," I told him.

"Oh? I'm not sure if I can taste it, but I'm sure it's fantastic."

"It's… not. Just be glad you can't taste it."

"Stop beating yourself up about not being able to cook. You can't help it," he chided me gently, pulling me onto his lap.

I blushed, though he couldn't see it in the dark, and he nuzzled against my neck.

"Alright," he sighed after a moment, and I shifted from his arms back to the bed. "Let me go brush my teeth and whatnot and I'll be down in a minute."

I nodded, leaning up in means for a kiss, but he kissed my forehead instead. He didn't want to get me sick since he obviously wasn't feeling good, and that touched me. I watched him, kneading his forehead in his hands, walk into the adjoining bathroom and push the door shut behind him. It was slightly ajar, just like always. I went back downstairs (after grabbing my ring and slipping it on), and waited at the table for him. A few minutes later, he padded downstairs, squinting in the harsh sunlight, and sat down with me. He couldn't taste the food, but he ate it anyway. He had a mouthful of toast when I remembered my mental note from earlier.

"Um…you know how we're married and everything? Well, we never say 'husband'. I just thought we could start saying 'husband' instead of 'boyfriend'," I rambled.

"Did you really think this over?" Danny asked jokingly, swallowing and taking a sip of sweet tea.

"No, I just saw you sleeping and you were wearing your ring. I just thought of it," I said, pushing my eggs around on my plate.

"Well, that sounds like a great idea. I'd love to call you my husband. I'd so enjoy bragging about you as my _husband_," he joked, but was completely serious.

"Can I have _one_ real kiss? You've been avoiding kissing me on my mouth all morning," I said once he'd lain on the couch, I'd closed all the blinds, and was cleaning up the dishes.'

"Come here and I'll give you one."

I leant over the back of the couch but he pulled me over on top of him, and held me tightly so I couldn't get away. He molded our mouths together, and I stopped struggling, melting onto his chest. He pulled away, kissing up my nose to my forehead.

"I love you," he murmured, leaving a kiss on the crown of my head.

"I love you too," I breathed, and kissed underneath his jaw.

He chuckled, and I sat up. I sat on his hips, and he rested his hands on my waist. I ran my hands up his arms, feeling the muscles flex, and he smiled wider at me. The bridge of his nose scrunched up, the light dusting of freckles over his nose and cheeks shifting with the movement. I kissed him one more time before sliding off his lap. He grasped at me, but I shook my head, pulling away.

"Rest," I told him, going back into the kitchen.

I finished cleaning up the kitchen, since I was a neat freak being in the Army since I was eighteen. But even before then I had been OCD about being neat. I could let some things go disorganized, but that list was very short. I crept back into the family room, but Danny was still awake and watching TV. I sat down with his head in my lap, and soothingly stroked his hair. He soon dozed off, and I was glad he was resting.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Danny! Can you get the door?" I called to my _husband_ as I worked on my laptop.

"Sure," he called back, and I heard the door open.

I heard muffled voices and, deciding to investigate, pushed away from my desk. The cuffs of my jeans, slightly too big, pooled around my feet when I stopped a few feet away from Danny in the hallway. A couple stood on our porch, and Danny held a casserole dish in his hands. The woman smiled past Danny at me, and Danny turned, nodding me forward and grinning.

"This is Rebecca and Saul Harper. They live down the road and decided to come introduce themselves," Danny told me, and I moved forward hesitantly.

I didn't exactly enjoy being around people other than Danny right now for some reason unbeknownst to even me, but since Danny seemed happy to know these people now I'd suffer through a few minutes with them. The couple didn't seem to mind that Danny slipped his arm around me, holding me close to his side, and called me his husband when he introduced me. In the back of my mind I loved these people but just wasn't up for outside human contact right now. I excused myself while Danny continued to talk with them, retreating to the kitchen. Soon after, Danny came in, putting the dish inside the fridge, and stroked my hair.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" He asked me, leaning down close to my face.

"Yeah," I said, breathless. "I'm fine."

"Are you lying to me?" He wondered, laying his hand on my shoulder and gently squeezing.

"No, Danny. I promise," I told him, my voice clipped and bitter though I didn't want it to be.

"Alright," he said, pulling away.

I threw my arms around him before he could get too far away, and buried my face in his chest. He froze for a second, but then wrapped his arms around me, cradling my head in his hand.

"Honey, what's the matter?" He asked me gently, his voice a soothing croon.

"I don't know," I muttered, feeling tears soak into Danny's T-shirt.

"Come here," he murmured, leaning down a bit to scoop me into his arms off of the stool at the island.

I clung to him, tangling my fingers in his hair and burying my face in his shoulder. He settled me on the couch, telling me to stay, and disappeared again. I sniffled, leaning over and kneading my eyes with the heels of my hands. I jumped when I felt a hand on my head, stroking my hair. My insides felt like someone had stirred them up and boiled them. I was jumpy and slowly falling apart. Danny's brown eyes were concerned and beyond worried. He held the blanket from our bed that we had picked out together since it was incredibly soft and warm. This blanket had seen many a love making session on the couch and in the bed. It's seen many other things as well, but I'd rather not talk about that. I moved over, but he didn't sit. He pushed on my shoulder, and I lay down on the couch, not wanting to fight him. He snapped the blanket out, letting it settle over me, and leaned down to kiss me softly. I kissed back halfheartedly, and he smoothed my hair back.

"I'll be right back, okay? I'm not leaving you for good, so don't get upset," he told me, his deep voice soft and gentle.

Danny came back a few minutes later with my favorite sandwich, creamy peanut butter with blackberry jelly. He sat the plate down on the coffee table, and eased his lanky self onto the floor in front of me. He turned to face me and sat the plate on the couch in front of me. I looked at it for a second, before nudging it away. Danny gave me a stern, unhappy look.

"Tom, you need to eat something. You haven't been eating very much lately, and you didn't even eat breakfast this morning," he said, obviously upset and didn't know how to help me.

"I ate breakfast," I countered, furrowing my eyebrows.

"A grapefruit does not count as breakfast, sweetie," Danny told me, stroking my forehead.

It wasn't like I wasn't eating because I thought I was fat, I just didn't feel like eating. Danny sat the plate back on the coffee table, switching positions on the floor to lean against the couch near my head. He laid his head on my shoulder, slipping his hand underneath the blanket and underneath my shirt to stroke my belly with ghosting fingertips.

"I'm just so worried about you," he mumbled, and I could hear the pain in his voice.

I sat up carefully so he was able to pick his head up before I was up entirely, and reached for my sandwich. I didn't want him to be upset about me, and I didn't want to worry him. He had other things to worry about, like maybe getting a job and a whole bunch of other things. He didn't smile triumphantly or anything when I ate my sandwich, but I could tell he was relieved.

Over the next few days, I ate more and more, slowly coming out of my depression. I went for runs in the morning again (to make up for all my eating) and sometimes Danny joined me. I took baby steps to recovering from our daughter's sudden death and my resignation from the Army. I opened myself up to making friends in Charleston, being friendlier whenever Danny and I would meet someone that lived near us. Rebecca and Saul introduced us to two gay friends of their, Joe and Scott, a little while after we became friends.

I still didn't enjoy leaving the house too much, but forced myself to do little thing like grocery shopping with Danny, or eating dinner with friends either at their house or out. Danny was ecstatic that I was getting better, and our love life (though it hadn't disappeared completely) became healthier once I was more content in my own skin.

It wasn't easy, but I did it for Danny. He deserved way more than I could give him, but I hoped he was happy with what I could.


	18. Fever

_Tom_

Danny got a job at a restaurant (after a lot of prodding from me) as the head chef about a month after we settled into our new house and new life. We did just fine money wise with his job, and he refused to let me get a job. He said that I needed to relax and let him work since we'd survived on my money from being in the Army. We hadn't had a lot of money earlier in our relationship, but we got by. I was at the grocery store, getting things for Danny to make dinner when he came home. I figured that after cooking all day he wouldn't want to cook more at home, but he said that cooking relaxed him. I had just shrugged and agreed to pick up things for him during the day so it would be ready at home for him.

I accidentally dropped my package of cream-cheese before it could make it into my basket, and I bent down to pick it up. I hadn't noticed someone standing next to me until they bent down to help me. I looked up and a boy of about Xavier and Sam's age (19) was crouched in front of me. We both were reaching towards my cream-cheese, but he let me get it since I was closest to touching it. We both stood and I had to think for a moment before I could speak again. He had these captivating blue eyes. They were a clear light blue. His facial features were almost feminine and I was sure he could _easily_ be mistaken for a girl if he tried hard enough. He had about 1-inch black gauges in his ears, but when he smiled I was pulled back to his face. His black hair was straight but had that slight wave to it that showed it wasn't naturally straight. It fell across his face, and looked incredibly soft. I found my voice suddenly, and mentally smacked myself for thinking about how cute this boy was.

"Thank you," I spit out, instantly biting my lip.

"No problem," he said, and turned slightly when someone called out, "Alex!"

"I'm Tom," I said, and he turned back to me. "Tom Lynch."

He shook my hand, and introduced himself. "Alex McKee."

"Alex! You could have answered me!" A boy with white blond hair styled similarly to Alex's came around the corner of an aisle, and glared at Alex.

"Sorry, babe. I was talking," Alex said, and my stomach tightened. He was gay. And he had a boyfriend. "Chase, this is Tom. Tom, this is my boyfriend, Chase."

"Nice to meet you," I said, shaking Chase's hand. His smile was friendly and sweet. It totally didn't match him. He had a large, very colorful tattoo stretched across his chest that I could see through his white tank top. His tank top didn't even cover the entire tattoo and it showed on the sides near his arms. He had black gauges in his ears as well and a nose ring.

"Likewise. We need to leave. Hailee is going to kill us if we're late," Chase said to Alex, and he nodded.

"Here, let me give you my number and maybe we could get together sometime," Alex offered and grabbed a pen from his pocket.

He wrote his number down on a small piece of paper and I shoved it deep in my pocket as they left. I didn't know how Danny would react, but I guess I'd just have to wait to find out.

---

"Oh, my God. These cupcakes are amazing," I gushed to Danny and he laughed.

"Thanks, sweetie." He leaned over and kissed me softly.

He made his red velvet cupcakes for me, since I loved them so much, and they were to die for. I could taste the sweet cream-cheese frosting on Danny's lips, but that made the kiss even better. I remembered Alex McKee's phone number in my pocket and pulled away. Danny's forehead creased and he stroked my hand on the table.

"Something wrong?" He asked me.

I fished the piece of paper out of my pocket and held in tightly in my fist.

"I met this guy at the grocery store. His name is Alex McKee and he gave me his phone number. He's gay, and he has a boyfriend, Chase. I didn't know how you'd react, and I was… scared to tell you," I said really fast to get it all out.

Danny blinked rapidly and shook his head as if I'd talked so fast it had shocked him. "Wow. Why were you scared, baby? I'm not gonna think you made out with his guy in the produce section of the grocery store and then came home to tell me about it. That's not you, Tommy."

"I was at the cheese, getting the cream-cheese," I mumbled.

Danny laughed. "That's not the point, honey. The point is that you made a friend, and I'm happy for you."

I realized that he was right. I'd made a friend, and I didn't even know it.

Danny smiled, standing and leaning down to kiss my head.

"Don't let that eat away at you. It's not like you're cheating on me. You _aren't_ cheating on me, are you?"

"No, Danny. I'm not." I gave him a look suggesting that he was slightly crazy, and then put my head in my hands.

He laughed, ruffling my bangs when he smoothed back my hair gently, and picked up my plate.

"You didn't do anything wrong, sweetheart. Don't feel bad," Danny told me as he walked into the kitchen.

"Hey! Let me do the dishes!" I called after Danny, getting up and chasing after him.

I caught him around the waist and he laughed, putting the plates on the counter and scooping me up. He kissed me, and I ran my hands over his white chef coat as his lips moved against mine. He sat me on the counter, ducking down lower to keep kissing me. I started undoing the cursed buttons on his coat, and got frustrated half way through. Danny picked me up again, moving to the couch, and I decided that the dishes could wait a little longer.

---

I lay curled up on top of Danny, and he stroked my curved back. His fingers followed the curvature of my spine and I shuddered. Our blanket lay draped over us (since we'd recently taken to sleeping on the couch most nights) since even though only we lived there it seemed weird to be lying naked on the couch. Danny kissed my head, scratching the small of my back gently with his short nails. I whimpered, arching away from his fingers, and he chuckled.

"I love you," he murmured, and I turned my head up to kiss him.

Our mouths molded together, and I felt as though it was all so new again. Danny held onto me, turning onto his side and trapping me in between him and the back of the couch. I looked up at him, and he stroked the side of my face. He leaned down, his lips coming in contact with mine again, and this time I deepened it. But it didn't last long because I felt wonky after a minute. Danny stroked my hair, looking at me with concern and worry in his warm eyes.

"Sweetheart, what's the matter?" He asked me.

I sat up, putting my head in my hands, and felt Danny's hand on my back.

"Something wrong?" He asked me again, but I couldn't answer.

"I don't… feel good," I mumbled.

Danny slipped from the couch, and grabbed our clothes. He pulled on his boxers, leaning down to touch my face gently. I shakily pulled on my underwear and shorts, but even that movement made me want to die. Danny tentatively touched my shoulder, and I sucked in a shaky breath through my mouth. That was enough to set me off, and I bolted from the family room towards the bathroom. Danny followed closely after me, though I really didn't want him to. I threw the bathroom door closed right in his face, fumbling with the lock, and drowned out his calls by being violently sick.

It was quiet for a moment while I sat against the wall, panting heavily, but then the lock turned.

"No," I moaned, but Danny shoved open the door.

"Yes," he said firmly, and came in.

I pulled my legs to my chest though it made my stomach hurt a little more, and shivered. It wasn't just one shiver, but I trembled on the floor of the downstairs bathroom with my boyfriend getting a hand towel from the shelf. He soaked it with cool water, and kneeled down in front of me. I flinched when he pressed it to my face, but he hushed me.

"Just calm down, sweetie," he whispered soothingly.

I pushed him away, him rocking back on his heels, and pulled myself up. I looked at the clock and scoffed. It was three in the morning. All the lights had been on in the house since we'd spent an _insane_ amount of hours making love and talking and occasionally dozing off. Danny smoothed his hand over my back, made a face, and wiped his hand on his shorts.

"You are incredibly sweaty. You need to lie down," he told me, and lead me back into the family room.

"Lie down, baby. I'll bring you some ginger ale," he ordered, and I nodded.

*~*

_Danny_

Tom looked sick. It was that easy. The phone rang, and he moaned my name to get it. I picked it up, holding it between my ear and shoulder.

"Hello?" I said.

"Hey, Danny. It's Zay," my baby brother mumbled into the phone.

"Hi, sweetie. What's up?" I grinned when I heard his voice. I missed him so much.

"Nothing, except I'm sick as _hell_," he groaned.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Zay. Tom's sick too. Why are you calling me at 3:30 in the morning? Can't sleep?" I wondered.

"Yeah. I'm too full of cold meds. They surprisingly don't work on me," he muttered irritably.

"Sorry, buddy," I crooned, walking into the family room to give Tom his ginger ale.

He sat up, taking the cup from me, and took a hesitant sip. I smoothed back his hair, and left a kiss on the crown of his head.

I talked to Xavier a little more while Tom sat next to me with his head on my shoulder, watching a recording of Brothers & Sisters on our DVR. I finally hung up and watched the show with him. He got drowsier as the dawn drew nearer, and we both finally dozed off.


	19. Cajun

_Danny_

"Oh wow, you are drunk," I said, gently extracting myself from Scott's grip.

Tom laughed, and I smiled. We never got drunk since the Army probably would have killed Tom, and I just didn't like being so drunk you do really stupid and irresponsible things. It was funny to watch our friends be drunk though. That's when it went in our favor. Joe was only a little bit drunk, and I somewhat regretted having a party for some of our new friends. They'd brought some of their friends to meet us so we had a huge party now. My parents had started a wine business in Georgia and sent me and Tom bottles occasionally. Saul and Rebecca had provided beer for the party, and that's what I think Scott had had too much of.

The party lasted until around midnight, and while Tom said good-bye to the guests I cleared away wine glasses. Tom fell into a chair next to me as I collected the glasses off the table. He looked dead on his feet, and I couldn't believe I had to work tomorrow. He's just gotten over his sickness, but he'd probably sleep most of the day tomorrow.

"Go upstairs and get in bed, Tommy. I'll be up in a few minutes," I told him.

"I can help," he mumbled, pulling himself up.

"No, sweetie, go. To. Bed."

He scowled tiredly at me, but padded up the stairs without any argument. It took a little more than a few minutes, but I finally made it up to bed. Tom was curled up on his side, still not asleep, and looked at me when I walked in.

"Why aren't you asleep?" I asked him, teasing but firm.

"Can't sleep without you," he mumbled, running his thumb over his left ring finger. He was tracing his ring.

I walked over to him after I pulled my shirt off and tossed it into the hamper. I leaned down to kiss his forehead and he yawned softly up at me when I stroked his hair away from his face. He swallowed, curling up more underneath our covers, and nuzzled against his pillow. I pulled on some thin cotton pajama pants and a T-shirt, and crawled into bed with Tom. I pulled him against my chest, spooning him, and felt him relax considerably.

---

It was odd when I was up before Tom. I snatched the phone up before it could wake him up while I made breakfast, and it was my mom.

"Hi, Mom." I grinned as I heard her voice.

"Hey, sweetie. How are you and Tom doing?" She asked me.

"Good. We had a little get together last night with a few close friends and everyone complimented on the wine," I told her, smiling even wider.

"That's so great! So, Nicole and I were talking the other day, and we thought it would be nice if you and Tom "renewed your vows" so to speak so we and Tom's family could come. You guys were a little rushed with getting married while you stayed in Maine and none of us got to see it," she told me, and I dropped the jar of blackberry jelly that had previously been in my hand.

I caught it so fast I barely saw my hand snatch it out of the air, and set it on the counter, backing up and leaning against the island behind me. This made me anxious and, afraid that Tom would wake up and hear, I moved out onto the porch. I settled in one of the two white Adirondack chairs, stretching my legs out in front of me.

"Mom," I started, unsure about her proposition. "We weren't rushed. We lived there for a year together, and made the decision a month in advance. It would be nice for all of you to see us… do it again. But we're trying to settle in, and I just got a job and I'm working on that and—"

"You got a job? Honey, that's so fantastic! Where?"

I sighed, reminding myself to be patient with my mother. "Charleston Grill. Anyway, right now isn't the best time, Mom. I really appreciate your and Nicole's thoughts about me and Tom; I really do."

"Charleston Grill…" My mom's voice sounded distant, and I heard a soft _clack_ing on the other end of the line. I rolled my eyes. She was looking it up on the computer. "Oh… Danny. That looks like an amazing restaurant. I knew Culinary School had been a good choice for you."

That was a _complete_ lie. Both my parents had begged me not to go to Culinary School. They wanted me to be a doctor or a lawyer; something that would "pay better than cooking". Well, I've got a fantastic job now and I'm doing just fine money wise.

"Thank you, mom." I heard something clatter to the floor inside, and I assumed Tom was up. "I need to go. Tom's up."

"Alright. I love you, Danny. Tell Tom hello for me, and don't wait so long in between calls home," she told me.

"Okay, I'll tell him, and I won't. I promise. I love you too. Bye."

I hung up and pushed myself up from the chair. Tom was in the kitchen, perched on the island when I walked, holding a mug of hot tea.

"Morning," he mumbled.

He looked so tired when his glossy grey eyes met mine. I moved closer, putting the phone on the base, and cupped my hand around his cheek. I stroked his cheekbone with my thumb, looking him in the eye.

"You need to sleep a little more," I told him.

He shook his head, and I knew it would be hard to get him to sleep during the day. I made us ham and cheddar cheese omelets while he continued to sit on the counter behind me. I swore to myself that I needed to make him caffeinated tea so he wouldn't have to wake up without some help. I put our plates on the dining room table, and passed Tom as he padded to the table. I got me some coffee and sat down with Tom. It was quiet, since Tom was exhausted and we were both comfortable with no talking. Once breakfast was done, I _somehow_ persuaded Tom to lay down in the family room and try to sleep some more. I closed the blinds and curtains, being as quiet as I possibly could, and sure enough Tom was asleep in a second.

I had a reservation for us at Charleston Grill (I was able to get some of a discount) since it was our seven year anniversary. _Seven years_. It didn't even seem like it had been that long. But it had. It was April 12, 2010 and we'd started dating April 12, 2003. I hadn't bothered bringing it up at breakfast, since Tom didn't seem to want to talk.

I was surprising him. I had to go into work for a little this evening, just to prep for dinnertime, but then I was his for the rest of the evening. I was going to leave for work, but put notes up around the house where he could follow them. They would have instructions on them to get ready and all that jazz. I was so excited.

I busied myself around the house while Tom slept, and it was almost time for me to go by the time I looked at a clock. I wrote my notes and instructions on heart-shaped Post-It Notes, putting them on things and the walls to lead Tom to where he needed to go. There were occasional little phrases like 'I love you' or 'Can't wait to see you' or 'Patience is a virtue'. I slipped out of the house at four, hoping Tom didn't sleep past then, and was prepared to get a phone call from Tom asking me why the hell I left without waking him or kissing him or telling him good-bye.

Sure enough, half-way to the restaurant, my phone rang. I picked it up, smiling already when Tom cursed at me in Cajun.

"You _coullion_!" He growled into the phone.

I knew he knows the curse words by heart, and knew a few choice phrases as well, so I'd quickly learned the meanings so I wouldn't be lost. He'd just called me an idiot.

"I love you too, sweetie. Don't be upset with me, please," I pleaded with him as I pulled into the restaurant parking. "If you will calm down, can you see a Post-It Note around you?"

He was still swearing at me, but this time in English, so I had no idea if he was looking.

"Sweetheart? Tom, calm down. I'm sorry I didn't wake you. No, scratch that. I'm not sorry, because I'm planning something, and if you will _stop it_ our lives would be a little easier right now," I said, my voice clipped and biting.

"Pic kee toi!" He swore at me.

I held my breath, waiting for him to calm down. He almost never said that to me, but it was exactly shocking for him to say 'fuck you' when he was this angry.

He sighed heavily, and it sounded like he flopped down onto the couch. "I'm sorry, Danny. I shouldn't have said that to you."

I laughed breathlessly. "It's perfectly fine. It doesn't bother me anymore because I know you'll make it up to me tonight after what I've got planned."

"God," he sighed, and groaned miserably. "I'm such an asshat."

I laughed. "No, honey, you're not."

"Yes, I am. And there's nothing you can say to make me change my mind. Well, I better go hunt down all these Post-It's you keep talking about. I love you."

I smiled, sitting back in the seat. "I love you too."

"See you tonight then," he said, and I could tell he was getting over his misery.

"I'll be the one in black." I grinned when I heard him groan again.

"Can't wait."

We hung up and I went inside the restaurant. We were sure to be in for a fun evening.


	20. Nip Tuck

_Tom_

I'd found all of the Post-It Notes and left them on my nightstand while I got dressed. My hands were incredibly shaky while I drove over to Charleston Grill. The hostess, whose name escaped me at the moment since her nametag wasn't on her blouse, greeted me while a smile that unnerved me and yet excited me at the same time. She led me to a small, empty table towards the back of the restaurant and left me there with another smile.

I looked around, maybe searching for Danny, I don't know, and then sat down. I waited for a while, hoping Danny would come soon since I was getting multiple, odd sidelong glances and spare me the embarrassment, before I got anxious. I looked up at the double kitchen doors when they swung open, and flushed when Danny sidled over to me. I stood, and he caught my face in his hands, kissing me full on the mouth in front of the entire restaurant. I didn't care since he was here with me now.

"You look fantastic," I told him, running my hands down his sides.

He chuckled under his breath, and stroked my cheek. "So do you. Ahhh, seeing you in your suit is never going to stop taking my breath away."

I smiled, my cheeks flushing with more color, and ducked my head.

"Come on. Let's sit."

We sat down across from each other, and obviously I was the only one out of the loop since everyone who worked here seemed to know what Danny had planned. We had some wine to start, and when Danny grinned at a passing waiter I sighed heavily.

"Alright, why are we here?" I asked him, tracing the lip of my wine glass.

"It's our anniversary, remember? Seven years since we met," he said, grinning at me now.

It dawned on me then. No words came to me now that I realized that I'd forgotten _one_ of the most important dates. I even had it written in like four places.

"Oh, my God," I breathed, shocked at myself. "I totally forgot."

Danny laughed, reaching across the table to touch my hand. "Baby, its fine. I'm just glad I have you here with me to eat dinner. Our "marriage" anniversary isn't until this summer, but I think this is one to be celebrated too."

I rubbed at my forehead, and looked up at him.

"I should have remembered though, Danny. It's not fair for me to forget and be stupid and you to plan all this _and_ let all of your friends in on it," I said unhappily.

He smiled comfortingly at me, and assured me that I could make up for it later. The meal was delicious, since Danny had apparently made it earlier, and we talked for what seemed like forever. We left my car there, and drove home in Danny's. Once we were inside, Danny discarded his keys to the small table next to the wall and pushed me up against the door. He lifted me _at least_ six inches off the ground and kissed me hard. He pushed my jacket off my shoulders roughly, and I squirmed away from the door to let it fall to the ground. Danny discarded his jacket awkwardly while I fumbled with the buttons on his shirt. He pulled away, and we looked at each other, panting.

"Come on," he breathed, pulling me into his arms.

He was in charge of walking, while I continued to work on his buttons and kissing his strong neck. I hummed softly in the back of my throat when he laid me down on our bed. He hovered over me, his knee pressed into the mattress in between my legs. He unbuttoned my shirt easily, since he was always the one with steady hands, and I leaned up slightly to let him pull it off. He shrugged out of his shirt, and tossed it off the bed along with mine. We discarded the rest of our clothes to the floor, and the rest of the night was filled with heated kisses and breathy moans of each other's names.

---

_Danny_

I smiled, running my hand down Tom's back, when he sat up to get something from the bathroom. He smiled at me over his shoulder, before leaning down to kiss me. He stood, stretching his arms over his head, and snatched my shirt off the ground, shrugging it on. I laughed softly, watching him walk.

The sheets were pooled around my hips, and I instantly missed Tom's warm body next to mine. I shot up when I heard Tom call (but more moan) my name. I grabbed my sweatpants which were draped over the end of the bed, and pulled them on. I bolted to the bathroom, pushing open the door carefully. Tom was sitting on the edge of the tub next to the toilet, his head in his hands. He was shaking, and what skin I could see looked pale and dotted with sweat. He looked up at me, and my jaw went a little slack. He was very pale and sweaty, but his cheeks were flushed a bright scarlet. He swallowed hard, shaking harder. He'd been getting sick a lot lately, and neither of us knew why.

"Honey, what happened?" I asked him, moving to crouch in front of him and touch his face.

He was burning up, and he flinched away from my hand.

He opened his mouth to answer me, but he couldn't seem to make any words form. His eyes flickered around anxiously, but landed briefly on the toilet. He'd been sick, and it had blood in it. I stood instantly, and helped Tom stand. He held onto me tightly, and I quickly flushed the toilet before I leaned down to kiss Tom's forehead and all but carry him back into the room. I helped him into his sweatpants, and since this was serious and no would care what we wore to the ER I pulled on a T-shirt from earlier today and buttoned my shirt up on him.

"Easy," I whispered while I helped him into my car.

I shut his door and jogged around to the other side, my sneakers hitting the pavement loudly in the silent night. It was a short drive to the ER, but then it was a long wait for our nerves to be soothed.

"Liver damage?" Tom asked breathlessly.

"Yes. This says you were born prematurely and at the time you were given heavy doses of multiple drugs. Any of those could have caused liver damage," the doctor told us.

"But…why is it just now that everything's happening? I'm twenty-seven." Tom's voice was getting higher, and that meant he was freaking out.

The doctor shrugged, and Tom's hand shook as he shoved his hair away from his face.

"You're liver is failing, and you will need a transplant," the doctor said, and Tom and I both knew this would be difficult. "A parent with the same blood type would be the best match."

"My father was the only one with my blood type, but he… left a few months ago," Tom mumbled, and I knew it was hard for him.

"What do you mean by left?" The doctor asked him.

Tom bit his lip. "He just _left_. He didn't leave anything behind, and no one knows where he is. A few weeks before-before our daughter passed away, my mom called me telling me that he was gone."

"I'm sorry about your daughter." The doctor looked at me. "What is your blood type?"

"A+, I think," I answered.

"That's somewhat good. You are AB+ and that's universal for receiving other blood types. That also means that you can get a transplant from someone in your family."

"My brother is A+, and so is my mom," he said, pushing himself up a little more in the bed.

"Well, we'll call them, and see what we can do."

Tom nodded, and the doctor left us. Tom hung his head and my stomach twisted when he started crying. He sobbed quietly, and I linked our hands together. He had been so close to his dad, since he was always so supportive of Tom even when he wanted to talk about another boy. His father had always loved me for Tom, since he'd seen Tom's heart be broken many times before.

"Sweetie," I started, but he shook his head.

"Stop," he moaned. "Don't say anything to try to comfort me. I can't handle this!"

I bit my lip and he let out a pitiful, exhausted sob. He shoved himself away from the bed and I sat up in my chair.

"Tom, honey, what's—"

He wrapped his arms around my neck, and so I shifted to sit on the bed next to him and held him. He was the most fragile creature I'd ever met, but that just egged him on to look tough all the time. He hated that I always doted on him, and cared for him. I was always there for him, and he wanted to always be there for me. He had had a very stressful and trying year, and this was just making it worse.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jasper and Tom's mother, Carol, drove up from Georgia to the hospital. Annabelle stayed home with her parents, though she was worried sick. Jasper, always the loving and affectionate brother, hugged his baby brother when they came in.

In the end, Jasper was a better match for Tom. He had a "younger and more desirable liver" according to Tom jokingly. Annabelle drove up in order to be with Jasper, and since both of our husbands were going into surgery we had to be there for each other.

It was the longest hours of my life while Annabelle and I waited with Carol. I didn't even have my family with me. But that was said a little too early since as soon as the depressing thought was thought my name was called. I sat up, and my sister bolted over to me, tackling me in a hug.

"Nicole? Where's everybody else?" I asked her, resting my hands on her shoulders.

"Right behind me. I just took off running to get here to you," she told me.

I laughed, kissing her forehead, and blinked back relieved and still scared tears as the rest of my family came in. Sam was with Xavier, but for that I was glad and very, very grateful; one more person to be here for me. My family easily distracted me but when the doctor came out, asking for me, I was out of my chair before the doctor could actually say anything about Tom and Jasper.

"The surgery went just fine. Both of them are in recovery now," the doctor told me.

I was beyond happy now.

"They should both be waking up about now, so you can see them."

Only Annabelle and I went back to see them. Tom looked so small, fragile, and he blinked blearily up at me when he saw me.

"Hey, sweetie," I cooed, kissing his forehead.

He just kind of whimpered at me, and I stroked his hair away from his face. I laughed softly, kissing his forehead again.

"Can you talk or are you still too groggy?" I asked him, leaning against the railing on the bed.

He swallowed, grimaced, and shakily touched my hand. I linked our fingers together, and kissed his hand softly.

"I love you," he whispered almost inaudibly.

I smiled, stroking his hair off his forehead. "I love you too."


	21. Careful

_Danny_

Tom gasped, his eyes flying open, and I looked over at him.

"Hey, sleepyhead. Naptime do you no good?" I asked him, leaning down to kiss his forehead.

He was very sweaty, and so I pulled a blanket off the bed. I helped him sit up and grabbed the damp cloth that hung on the headboard. I laid it on his forehead, stroking his cheek with my thumb. He didn't talk much, but I didn't care. He was quiet when he was sick or not feeling good. He was a quiet person in general, and that never bothered me. He looked up at me, his grey eyes wide and alert, and I stroked his forehead and smoothed his hair back with the damp cloth.

Annabelle and Carol had driven back to Georgia with Jasper heavily drugged in the backseat, and my family had left shortly after as well.

"Do you wanna take a shower?" I asked him. "You're doctor said you could today. If you wanted to. I don't want to force you to do anything."

"Only if you shower with me," Tom said, smiling fleetingly.

I rolled my eyes, and leaned down to kiss his forehead again. "You're getting ahead of yourself, sweetheart. I will shower with you, but only to help you."

He smiled again, and I helped him up. I helped him undress and then took the dressing off of his wound. I was very careful with him and was tentative to touch him.

"I'm not going to break, Danny. Yes, it hurts, but you can touch me," Tom told me, smiling.

I rolled my eyes again and rolled my head back to look at the ceiling. I felt Tom's warm arms wrap around my waist, and he sucked in a breath through his teeth. He rested his head on my chest, and I brought my hand up to tangle in his hair. He had to drop his arms before he caused himself too much pain, but he still snuggled up to my chest. I chuckled, and stroked my hand down his back. I watched nervously as he washed since he'd told me he wanted to try it himself. He was successful and I rewarded him with a kiss. He smiled, reaching up to run his fingers through my slightly damp hair, and stood on his tiptoes to kiss me again. I pressed my hand into the small of his back and molded our mouths together. He pulled away a moment later, and grinned at me.

We were downstairs on the couch a little later, and rain pattered lightly the roof.

"Stay here for a sec, baby. I've got a surprise for you," I told him, and he gingerly touched his side as he leaned back against the couch.

He sat up straighter when I came back, and smiled when I dangled a bag of his favorite creamy mints in front of him. He grinned and took the bag from me. The tiny Hershey Kiss shaped mints were yellow, pink, and green with white nonpareils on the flat bottoms. Since we both liked them (but Tom _adored_ them) we usually kept some in the house, but when we moved to Charleston we were so caught up in everything that they never entered our mind. Multiple times I had stripped Tom from his shirt and placed the tiny mints on his torso, making a trail down his chest and belly. Tom's torso was very sensitive and having my lips and tongue on his skin there drove him crazy.

He tilted his head back and dropped three mints into his mouth. Smiling excitedly at me while he chewed, I laughed, leaning down to kiss his forehead.

"I've got something else for you too. Hold on a sec," I said, and he scoffed.

"It's like it's my birthday or Christmas all over again," he joked, grinning again and eating a few more mints.

"Well, I "missed" your birthday last year since you were overseas, so I guess I'm making up for it now," I joked back, and leaned down to kiss him before disappearing again.

Tom was a great musician. He could play the guitar, piano, trumpet, drums, _and_ he could sing. I'd gotten his mom to send me his old acoustic guitar, and I'd gotten it tuned so he could entertain himself with it while he was recovering.

"Oh, my God! Where did you get that?" He asked when I presented it to him.

"I got your mom to send it to me. I got it tuned so you'd have something to do while you recovered," I told him, smiling as he grabbed it from me.

"Oh, wow. I'd so tackle you right now if I wasn't in so much pain," he laughed, strumming idly.

I stretched out on the couch with my feet in his lap, and he picked out random chords and notes. The easy sound of the guitar was comforting, and relaxing. He started to sing softly, and I smiled when I recognized the song.

"You know how to play that on the guitar?" I asked him, cracking an eye open at him.

He laughed softly, jostling me as well. "Of course. It's our song, is it not?"

I closed my eyes again and smiled, putting my arms behind my head. "It is, and I love it."

"Everyone just calls you amazing," Tom sang quietly, strumming out the notes softly. "But I just call you mine."

Martina McBride's "I Just Call You Mine" was the song we heard on our first date and, sappily, Tom had gone on to explain how it applied to us. It was from then on our song.

"Stretch out, sweetie. Your legs are going to cramp up," I told him, and shifted so he could stretch his legs out next to mine.

"Are you going to get me a piano next?" He asked me, and I could hear the smirk in his voice.

"Mmm, I don't know. We'll have to see," I said, half-joking, and peeked out at him.

He grinned, the corners of his eyes crinkling, and went back to his guitar. Soon, he got tired and leant his guitar against the end table. When I opened my eyes again to check on him, he was asleep, lying against the back of couch.

I smiled, carefully getting up momentarily to grab a blanket, and snapped it out over us. Once our body heat had warmed it up, I had trouble keeping my eyes open and quickly nodded off.

I woke when I felt soft, warm lips against my forehead, and sucked in a deep breath through my nose as I fully awoke.

"Hey," Tom whispered, and I smiled, leaning forward to kiss him softly.

"Hey," I rasped, my voice thick with sleep.

He stroked the side of my face, a look of pure love and adoration on his face.

"I love you. So much," he murmured.

I smiled, and reached forward to stroke his hair.

"I love you too, sweetheart," I purred, sitting up and capturing his face in my hands. I kissed him fully and he smiled against my lips momentarily before kissing me back. I pulled away after a moment, and stroked his cheekbone with my thumb. "What brought that on?"

His big grey eyes were wide, and slightly _too_ innocent. "What do you mean? Why can't I tell my husband that I love him when he wakes up from a nap?"

I set my mouth in a crooked line. "You can, but you looked a little upset. Something's wrong."

He sighed, settling on the floor next to the couch. "I had a nightmare. You were in Iraq with me, but I couldn't find you and I'm pretty sure you got hurt. It was very unsettling."

"Come here," I said, opening my arms for him, and he crawled up onto my lap. I smoothed his hair back, and left a kiss on his forehead before he nuzzled his face into my neck. "You're home, and you're safe, baby doll. Nothing is gonna hurt you or hurt me. We're locked in our big beach house, and everything is fine."

"That's a Josh Turner song," he mumbled randomly against my neck.

"Yeah, it's a good song too. I think I have that CD. I can play it if you want. We could…read out on the porch. Or… I'm drawing a blank. What do you wanna do, sweetie?" I patted his leg gently and comfortingly.

I'd learned it always helped for me to distract him after he had a nightmare. More times than not he wanted to make love, and that was fine by me. I didn't want to hurt him, so that was out of the question. He just kind of nuzzled closer, and I tightened my hold on him.

"I'll just hold you, sweetheart. Everything's okay," I soothed him. He reached up to shove his hair out of his face and snuggle impossibly closer to my chest.

"It's okay," I promised, rubbing his back. "It's okay."


	22. News

_Tom_

I sighed out through my nose, completely blissful with where I was. The incredibly soft mattress under my back and the cool, cotton sheets draped over me. The ceiling fan ran on high, blowing cool air on my face, chest, and arms, and filled the room with a soothing white noise. I could faintly hear the ocean outside; the gentle waves crashing against the sand.

"That was amazing," Danny purred, nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck.

I smiled, lowering one arm from behind my head to rub his back. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my scar, letting his tongue bathe the circular mark. I smiled, laughing breathlessly, and whimpered when he nipped lightly at it. He chuckled, shifting further up, and kissed me. After a moment of kissing, he pulled away and settled with a content sigh on his belly with his head lying on my shoulder.

I was finally not in pain when I moved, and it had been a few weeks since my surgery. I'd gotten a clean bill of health and to celebrate, we'd made love as soon as we got home. My scar was still a bit tender, but that was nothing.

"Mmmm," Danny hummed as he pressed his lip to my chest. "Do you wanna go downstairs? Get a snack?"

I smiled, craning my neck to kiss his forehead. "Sure. Sounds good."

He pushed himself up, kissed me quickly, and then slipped from the bed. He picked up his T-shirt and tossed it at me. I caught it and pulled it on, pressing my nose into the fabric and breathing in Danny's smell. He smiled at me, and dug a fresh T-shirt of his out of his drawer.

Danny snapped the waistband of my briefs and I yelped as it stung my back. I glared at him and he snickered, wrapping his arm around my neck and kissing me. I slipped my hands just under the waistband of his boxers, and traced the dimples just above his bottom. He laughed against my lips and pulled away, capturing my wrists and pulling them around in front of him. I tried to pull them away, but he wouldn't let me. I pulled again, but that just hurt. Danny's big hands easily wrapped around my slim wrists just as his long arms circled my slender waist perfectly.

I scowled up at my husband and he laughed, guiding my arms around his waist and then wrapped his arms around my neck. I pulled my arms back, turning away in his embrace, and he nuzzled against my neck. He left a kiss just behind my ear and I shivered. He pressed kisses along my shoulder, pleading with me to turn around. I refused, and so he nibbled on my earlobe, causing me to gasp and shudder. He smiled against the soft skin, flickering his tongue out to pull the lobe into his warm mouth. I gasped louder, and he knew that I was losing the fight. I sighed, defeated, and turned around in his arms. He grinned, and his lips found the chicken pox scar just above my left eyebrow.

"So about that snack…" I said, walking my fingers up his chest and smirking.

"Oh, you're just a little minx," he said accusingly, and pulled his arms from around my neck.

I laughed and followed after my husband, having to almost run to keep up with his long strides. He stretched his arm out over my shoulders, and pulled me close to his side, where I fit perfectly. Having him so much taller than me was good and bad. It was good so he could easily carry me to bed (when I'd crashed on the couch or when we were "in the heat of the moment" so to speak) and so I fit underneath his arm perfectly as if we were made for each other. It was bad since I had to stand on my tip toes to barely be able to kiss him and it hurt his neck to always have to look down at me. I'd gone to the doctor for a well visit recently (after being coaxed and forcibly shoved by Danny) and they'd measured me. I had indeed shrunk to 5'11. I didn't care, and though the doctors thought that was odd I didn't think anything of it.

I lifted myself onto the island, the granite chilly on the backs of my bare legs, and Danny settled himself in between my legs. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and my arms around his neck. I nuzzled against his cheek and he laughed, leaving a sloppy, wet kiss on my cheek.

Danny and I settled on the couch after we had a snack of strawberries. The sun was setting, and Danny grabbed a blanket and covered us up. We shifted so Danny was spooning me, and I yawned.

"You've had a rough day, haven't you, baby?" He crooned, smiling and kissing my head.

"Shut up. I'm tired. You worked me hard today," I told him, nuzzling against the throw pillow beneath our heads.

"I know. But you were very compliant, and I know you liked it," he purred, leaving a kiss on my neck.

I smiled, chuckling softly. "I did. So much."

"Mmmm, well I'm glad, sweetheart. You deserved it," he murmured, and I looked back at him.

He smiled, and kissed me softly. He pulled away a moment later, and pursed his lips against my forehead.

"I love you," he whispered.

I smiled; a sleepy, content smile. "I love you too."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Who's this?" Rebecca asked, taking a framed photo of Emily out of a box of unpacked photos.

Danny and I looked at each other. I nodded silently, and he shifted the stack of magazines in his arms.

"That's our daughter, Emily. She… passed away in March," he told her.

Her brown eyes widened and she looked at us. "I'm so sorry."

Danny shrugged one shoulder. "You didn't know. We've accepted it. We're done grieving."

Saul came through the door, shaking his dark brown hair out of his face. "Man, it's hot outside."

"Hello to you too, Saul," Danny teased.

"We have sweet tea in the kitchen," I offered. "Come with me, and I'll get you some."

Saul followed after me, and I told him to sit at the island. I leaned against the island across from him as he drank an entire glass of sweet tea faster than I thought possible.

"So how have you and Danny been? We haven't seen you since you came home from your surgery," Saul wondered, wrapping his hands around the cold glass.

"We've been fine. Haven't gone anywhere since I've been recovering," I told him, bringing my leg up behind me to itch a mosquito bite on my calf.

Saul nodded quietly; he was a very quiet person. Quieter than me; which was saying something. He turned slightly on the stool when Rebecca and Danny walked in. Danny walked away for a moment to put the stack of magazines in the garage, but came back, slipping his arm around my waist. Rebecca had sat on the other stool next to Saul, and she looked as if she'd been crying. I looked up at Danny, confused, but he just looked at me and kissed my head.

"We came over here to tell you guys something," Saul started, and I situated myself more comfortably against Danny's side.

"We're having a baby," Rebecca said, laughing.

"Oh, my God! That's so great!" I was so incredibly happy for them, and Danny's mood automatically shot up when they said that.

"How far along are you?" Danny asked Rebecca, and she pushed her bangs behind her ear.

"Two and a half months. So, not very far," she told us, smiling happily.

"That's amazing. I'm so happy for you guys," I told them, and Saul grinned at me.

We talked for a little while longer, before Rebecca's alarm on her phone went off. They had to be at a party for her twin niece and nephew. Rebecca hugged us both, and we did the manly thing and shook hands with Saul.

Once they were gone, I turned to Danny. "Why was Rebecca crying?"

He sighed, settling his hands on my waist, and bent down to kiss my forehead. "I told her about Emily, and she's emotional as it is being pregnant. She wanted to know, so I told her. I didn't do anything to her, Tom. I just told her about our daughter."

"I know you didn't do anything Danny. Why would you think that I did? I'm not stupid and I know you. I just wanted to know why our friend was crying," I snapped at him.

His eyes were hard as he pulled away from me. I ducked my head, knowing I started this and hating that I did. I pushed my bangs off my forehead, feeling my hands tremble.

"I'm going to take a shower," Danny said, and took the stairs two at a time.

I heard our bedroom door shut loudly, and a soft whimper escaped me. Tears fell from my cheeks, and soaked into the rug below me. Unable to stand or walk away, I settled myself on the rug, and cried. I gripped my side where my scar was as each sob caused it to hurt. The pain made me cry harder, and I buried my face in my knees.

"Tom," Danny started, and I knew by the way his voice sounded that he wanted to make up with me. "Tom!"

I sucked in a harsh breath when I felt him touch my back.

"Tommy, sweetheart, look at me. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. It's my fault," he apologized, stroking my hair away from my face.

He settled behind me on the soft rug, scooping me onto his lap. He cradled my head in his hand, holding me tightly to his chest.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have accused you like that. I wasn't thinking and I was just being stupid," he murmured, rubbing my back.

I looked up at him and he pushed the tears off my cheeks and wiped them on his shorts. He didn't have a shirt on, and I shifted so my legs were on either side of his waist, hugging myself closer to him.

"Honey," Danny crooned, holding me close.

"I'm sorry. It's not your fault," I told him, my mouth pressed against his shoulder.

"Alright, it's no one's fault," Danny joked, kissing my shoulder and rubbing the small of my back.

We sat there for a minute, before Danny pulled away a little to look at me.

"I have to go into work for a few hours. Do you wanna take a shower with me?" He asked, stroking my bangs away from my face.

I swallowed, and nodded, shakily standing up. Danny stood as well, carefully holding onto me to steady me and as not to hurt me. We walked upstairs, and Danny had to help me get my T-shirt off. I took some Tylenol for the dull, aching pain in my side and shed my shorts. Danny stretched his arms above his head, and his back popped. I winced.

"That sounded bad," I said, and he laughed.

"I'm fine. I promise." He leaned down, kissing me softly, and I smiled.

He touched his curled fingers underneath my chin. "There's that smile."

I flushed and he grinned, kissing my forehead.

Our shower wasn't full of breathy moans and needy cries, but I did end up pressed against the shower wall; my legs wrapped around Danny's thin waist. But it was just a hot make out session and nothing more. I was in too much pain to do anything more, and Danny respected that.

"Bye, sweetheart. I'll be back late tonight. Don't wait for me, alright?" Danny told me after kissing me goodbye on the front porch.

"Fine. If you don't want me to," I said, pouting.

He knew I'd stay up as late as I could without finally dozing off.

"I love you," he purred, kissing me again.

"I love you too," I told him as he walked to his car.

My dirty, green Jeep sat next to his sleek, red Mazda and they reflected just how different we were. Danny blew me a kiss before he ducked into his car, and I waved to him as he drove off.

I decided to go for a run on the beach to pass the time, and work up a sweat. I also just loved the tight fit of my shirt and baggy feel of my shorts. By the time I got back from my run, I was starving and needed another shower. I showered quickly, pulling on some loose cotton shorts and an old T-shirt. I checked the thermostat and gaped when I saw it was on seventy-two. No wonder I was burning up. I put it down to sixty and listened for the air conditioner to kick on. It did, and I was happy then with the house so cold. Danny loves the house cold just like I do with it so hot outside, so I have no idea how it got up that high. Then I remembered Rebecca having said something about it being so cold and we'd turned the heat on for her. I shrugged and padded into the kitchen.

After some dinner, it was getting dark and so I stretched out on the couch with a thin cotton blanket and my third season of Brothers & Sisters in the DVD player. It wasn't long until I dozed off to the constant bickering of the Walker family.

---

_Danny_

I came into the house at around eleven, being very quiet incase Tom was asleep. I shrugged out of my chef coat and draped it over a chair in the kitchen. I peeked into the family room and, sure enough, Tom was sleeping peacefully on the couch. The credits for Brothers & Sisters flashed up on the television screen and I smiled. He'd never tire of that show. I turned off the TV, and leaned over Tom. I smoothed his hair back, and he didn't even stir. I smiled, and carefully slipped my arms underneath him. When I lifted him into my arms, he didn't wake up or anything. He must have been exhausted.

I carried him upstairs into our room, and laid him on the bed. He curled up more when I covered him with the chilly sheets, and I left a soft kiss on his forehead. I changed out of my pants into some mesh shorts and just kept my white tank top on. I was too tired to care. When I climbed into bed with my husband, he turned over and curled up against my chest. I smiled, wrapping my arms around him, and held him as he slept.


	23. Ice

_Tom_

"Come with me," Danny pleaded. "Please."

I gave him a distasteful look, but agreed.

"But I'm not skating," I told him quickly.

"Alright. You can cheer for me on the sidelines," he teased.

I made another face and him, and he kissed me.

"Thank you. I love you so much," he told me, hugging me impossibly close.

"Yeah, yeah," I grumbled, but smiled and stood up on my tiptoes to kiss him.

---

Danny, being as tall as he was and having such strong legs, was a fantastic skater. Roller skating. Ice skating. Everything but skateboarding. He'd taken up speed skating during high school at a local ice skating rink, but he hadn't skated like that since before we adopted Emily. He'd _somehow_ persuaded me to go to an ice skating rink with him today, and so here I was in jeans and a sweatshirt with a toboggan in my pocket and it was almost seventy-five outside. Danny had his skates draped over his shoulder, and he looked so excited. I guess his excitement made up for it.

I pulled on my toboggan once we got inside where it was fifty-seven degrees, and settled myself in the stands. I whistled for Danny once he got out onto the ice, and he grinned, waving. It was a public skate, so there were families with falling children and adults. It definitely wasn't boring to watch. I would have been one of the adults falling, sprawled on my stomach or back once my feet touched the ice. But Danny was graceful and fluid as he skirted around people but still looked as if he was actually racing. I decided that I would never tire of watching him skate and also decided that he would look incredibly sexy in those spandex suits the Olympic speed skaters wear. Danny's skates shredded against the ice as he stopped near where I was sitting. I hopped down the stands and he grinned at me. His face was flushed, but he looked like he was having so much fun. I smiled, and he brushed his thumb over my cheek.

"You're cheeks are flushed. Are you cold?" He asked me.

I shrugged. "Kind of."

He pulled off his Polartec jacket, handing it over the railing to me.

"Won't you be cold?" I asked him.

"Maybe for a minute. But I was getting hot anyway. Working up a sweat," he said, and smiled.

"You look great. I forgot just how good you were at this," I told him, and he smiled wider.

"Thanks, babe."

He kissed me quickly before skating away. I climbed back up the stands and sat back down, watching his long frame glide across the ice so easily. It was eleven when the public skate was done, and Danny was dragging his feet on the way to the car.

"Do you want to go home?" I asked him, peeking up at my exhausted husband.

"No," he mumbled. "We need lunch, and I promised you O' Charley's for coming with me."

I smiled as he put his skates in the trunk of the car. I drove, letting him rest. There was a little bit of traffic, so when Danny fell asleep, I didn't care about the traffic. I decided to give him a little more time to nap and drove in a wide circle. Once I made it back around, I parked in the parking lot and got my book from the backseat. Danny slept for about fifteen or twenty minutes, and when he cracked his eyes open at me he looked a lot better. He looked around for a second, and I put my book back in the backseat.

"You let me sleep?" His voice was soft, and thick with sleep.

"You looked so tired, and I didn't have the heart to wake you up." I reached over to brush a few stray curls off his forehead.

He smiled gently, and leaned over to kiss me. His hand came over to rest on my waist and I shifted closer to him in my seat. We finally had to pull apart, both of our chests heaving, and we grinned at each other.

"Awake now?" I teased him.

"Yeah," Danny breathed, laughing softly.

To also make up for making me sit and watch him skate, we'd taken my Jeep. Danny had made his way over to my door while I was getting my keys and unbuckling my seatbelt. He opened my door for me, and held my hand when I climbed down. I leaned up on the balls of my feet to give him a kiss, and he ducked down for me. Danny pulled off his long-sleeve shirt, replacing it with a short sleeve one I'd thrown into the backseat for him. I wore short-sleeve shirts all year long even if it was freezing. I'd layer on top if I had to. Our sneakers crunched on the pavement as we walked across the parking lot and, though we didn't usually show _too_ much affection in public, we held hands. While we waited for a table, Danny stood behind me, his arms wrapped around my neck from behind me.

"What city is the next Olympics gonna be in?" I asked, looking up at Danny.

He thought for a moment.

"London, England for the next summer Olympics in 2012. Sochi, Russia for the next winter Olympics in 2014," he told me, looking down at me. "That was a very random question."

"I know! But I was thinking about the Olympics since you're wearing your T-shirt from the Atlanta Olympics," I explained, defending myself.

"Ahhh. That was fun. My dad took me to see… Oh, God, what was it?" He pressed his forehead to my head, thinking. "Boxing. He took me to see boxing. That was the best."

I looked up at him, and he smiled. I pressed closer back against him, and he held me tighter.

"We're going to London for the summer Olympics coming up. I want you to see them at least once," he told me, kissing my temple.

I smiled and as we followed the hostess to our table, Danny's hand touched my back gently. We got a small booth near the kitchen, and the waitress came by about two or three minutes after we sat down. Danny ordered the Black & Bleu Caesar Salad and a water, and I ordered the Pecan Chicken Tender Salad and a Coke.

"Your eyes look a little blue today," he said, reaching over to take my chin in his hand and tilt my head.

"I'm…sorry?" I guessed, laughing.

He laughed and touched my nose before pulling his arm back.

---

Danny toed off his sneakers by the front door, and I passed him with the remains of my salad in a Styrofoam box. I put the salad in the fridge, and Danny called out to me that he was going upstairs to take a shower. I picked up some things, but the house wasn't dirty at all, and I had nothing to do. I grabbed my book, and padded barefoot out onto the back porch. I eventually left my book open on the arm of one of the Adirondack chairs and walked down to the beach. I rolled up my jeans to my knees and sat in the sand to where the waters washed over my feet and ankles but didn't touch my jeans.

I just stared at the ocean, at the afternoon sun, and sighed heavily. I didn't hear anything but when I felt someone sit down behind me, incredibly long legs stretching out next to mine, I almost shrieked and flew to my feet. But strong arms wrapping around my waist from behind kept me on the sand, and I relaxed when I felt who I knew was Danny nuzzle against my back. I touched his hands, linked on my belly, and smiled. I leaned back, laying my head on his shoulder, and he practically purred as he leaned down to kiss me.

We eventually got up before we started to get sunburned, and made our way back into the house. We didn't eat a whole lot for dinner, and once the sun started to go down we curled up in our bed. I yawned softly and Danny chuckled, kissing my forehead.

"I have a plan for you, sweetheart. Don't fall asleep on me," he murmured, and I peered up at him excitedly.

He laughed again, and I grinned nervously as he flipped me onto my back. He hummed as he molded our mouths together, and I felt his hips press against mine. I reached up to wrap my arms around his neck, and he opened his mouth a fraction, tracing my bottom lip with his warm tongue. I shuddered a little as his hand travelled up my thigh, gripping my hip. Something hot flushed through me when he pulled away from the kiss and his tongue came out to press flat and feverish against my neck. I gasped, arching my hips up towards his, and he smiled against my throat, pressing his tongue to my pulse.

"Danny," I choked out, getting annoyed at how helpless I was.

He chuckled, pulling away from my neck, before blowing his warm breath on the wet part of my neck. I moaned through clenched teeth, and he smirked, happy with himself.

"I hate you," I muttered, trying to sit up, but he trapped me.

He had my wrists pressed into the pillows next to my head, and as he kissed me and rocked his hips against mine I relaxed and gave over to him.

---

_Danny_

I woke up to an empty, cold bed like always. As I sat up, more muscles than I knew I had protested and I groaned from the pain. I forced myself into some sweatpants, and struggled down the stairs. Tom was sitting at the table, looking exhausted and surprisingly drinking coffee. The newspaper was spread out in front of him, but he didn't seem to be reading it.

"You look very sore," he said, flipping the page of the newspaper. He took a sip of his coffee but didn't look up at me. "You moved when I got up, and you whimpered once you did."

"Well, you look exhausted," I told him, leaning down to kiss his head as I passed him.

"Yeah, well. To each his own."

I sat down with him, and he almost immediately reached for my hand. I knew that sign. He'd had another nightmare.

"Let's go sit on the couch," I offered.

I wrapped my arm around him while we walked into the family room. Tom curled up against my side with his coffee mug, and I tilted his head up to kiss him. He explained his nightmare to me, roughly shoving the tears out of his eyes and burying his face in my shoulder. I stroked his hair soothingly, and he sniffled, picking his head up. His face was flushed, but he wasn't crying.

"You have to go to work. Go. I'll be fine," he told me, sniffing and blinking multiple times.

"Are you sure?" I asked him, tucking a little bit of hair behind his ear.

He nodded quickly. "I promise."

"Promise you'll call me if you need anything?" I prompted.

"Promise."

"Alright. I'm gonna go take a shower and get dressed."

I kissed him briefly before getting up. I was downstairs again in twenty minutes and Tom had one of our to-go coffee mugs on the island for me.

"Eat something for me, love, and don't do too much. I want you to relax today," I said to Tom as he leaned against the counter, kissing his cheek.

He smiled, blushing slightly. "Alright. I love you."

"I love you too, sweetie." I kissed him quickly, and touched his cheek as I turned to leave. He followed me to the door, waving and smiling as I drove away.


	24. Soldier

_Danny_

I came home from work a little earlier than planned to find Tom sitting at the island drinking some wine. He finished what was in his glass as I walked in, and instead of pouring more into the glass he took a drink straight from the bottle.

"Have a bad day, sweetheart?" I asked him.

"You don't even know," he muttered.

I smiled, moving over to him to kiss him. He smelled like wine, and just his distinct smell. His mouth tasted like one of our favorite wines when our lips met. I smiled, pulling away after a moment, and he took another drink of wine from the bottle.

"Here," I offered, getting a glass for myself and taking the bottle from him. I poured us both a glass, sitting the bottle a good ways away from him. "There. Isn't that a little better?"

He shrugged, making a face, and took a sip from his glass.

"What's up?" I asked him after taking off my chef coat and putting in the washing machine. We sat there at the island, me in my tank top and jeans and him in a T-shirt, which was so old the hems were splitting, and sleep shorts.

"The sky?" He guessed, mocking me.

"Shut up. Honestly, Tommy, tell me what's wrong."

He took another sip of his wine and traced the lip of the glass. He was quiet for a long time, but I just waited.

"My mom called today. She wanted to talk about… _her_," he mumbled finally, watching the granite counter top in front of us.

Though we seemed to be fine about our daughter dying only months after we adopted her, we could barely say her name to this day. So, to stay sane we refrained from saying it.

"A little while after she called and I easily avoided that subject thanks to Jasper being there and wanting to check up on me, my dad called."

"He did?" I asked him, being careful about my word choice.

"Yeah. He's in the area actually. My mom very reluctantly told him that we moved here, and he wants to see us. I was unsure and I needed to talk to you first. I didn't give him an answer. Only that I'd talk to you."

Tom took a long drink of wine, and put his head in his hands. So much for him relaxing today. I laid my hand on his back, rubbing soothingly.

"Well, I'm sorry about your mom," I started. "And whatever you want to do about your dad is fine with me."

"You're so helpful, Danny," Tom snapped at me.

I backed off, taking a sip of wine. Tom groaned, dropping his head onto his arms on the counter.

"God, nothing is easy anymore," he moaned.

Before I could say anything, he was talking again.

"I'm such a horrible husband. I'm sorry I snapped at you and piled all this on you when you just got home," he told me, and I smiled, leaning over to kiss his head and rub his back.

"It's fine, sweetie," I started to comfort him, but he cut me off.

"No, it's not."

I knew not to start this with him. He was often a masochist, but he would never admit to it. I sighed, taking another sip of my wine, which I'd need to get through this.

_**-o-**_

I sat up hastily in bed, my breath coming in heaving, shattered gasps. Tom was up in a split second with me, watching me for a second before I started to shake. I brought my hand up to shove my hair out of my face, and he tentatively reached for me. He knew that I didn't really like to be touched when I was upset, but his want to comfort me was enough to let him touch my arm.

"What's wrong?" He asked me, his voice soft and hesitant. "Did you have a nightmare?"

I nodded, and he shifted ever so slightly closer to me.

"I don't wanna talk about it," I said, turning my face away from him.

"Alright. That's fine," he soothed, shifting away from me.

I leaned over to him, kissing his forehead, and got up. He watched me, his piercing grey eyes wide and concerned.

"I'm going downstairs," I told him after pulling on a T-shirt and sweatpants.

I kissed him softly before leaving the room, but I didn't get far before I heard footsteps following me. They were tentative and ready to turn back the moment I told him to go back to bed. But I respected Tom more than that, and let him follow me. My heart ached as images from my dream flashed through my head. I shook my head to try and clear it, but it was agonizing. Tom got us both some sweet tea and we sat on the porch, him in my lap, watching the sun rise. He tugged on the hems on his shorts, and I smiled, running my hand up his thigh. He shivered, and laid his head on my shoulder. I pushed his shorts up a little to bunch at his hip and traced along his thigh, feeling the muscles tense and relax at my soft touch. Everything was a little bit better with the ocean the only noise outside and Tom so close to me. He leaned up a fraction to kiss me, and I smiled against his soft lips. He was a tiny bit hung over from the amount of wine he'd consumed the evening before, so once we retreated back inside I gave him some more tea and some toast.

"Sweet tea makes everything better," he said after attempting to eat some of his toast.

"It does. Even hangovers," I joked, kissing his cheek as we sat on the couch.

"_Especially_ hangovers," he joked back, sitting up on his knees to kiss me.

Our kisses became less sweet and innocent, and became more playful and needy. I eased Tom back onto the couch, tongues coming into play with our kisses. Tom whimpered, arching away from me, as I pressed kisses down his belly after pushing his T-shirt up to his chest. I gently nudged his knees apart, kissing the insides of his thighs, and he pushed his shorts and briefs off. I dropped them on the floor after pulling them the rest of the way off; licking my lips and making him blush. We didn't usually use our mouths to get each other off, but occasionally we would. We tossed our T-shirts onto the floor and I stripped from my sweatpants. I pulled away when I remembered something. I mentioned it to Tom and started to get up, but he pulled me roughly back onto the couch. I assured him I'd be right back.

He let me go, but pouted and looked longingly after me as I walked away. I came back quickly, and he eagerly opened his arms for me. He nuzzled close to me, bringing his legs up to my sides, and hooked his ankles together to pull me even closer. Our bodies moved in perfect synchrony, and Tom's voice became needier and higher as he came closer to his climax. He bit down hard on his lip, so used to having to be quiet, but I threw my hips harder against his and he cried out finally. I all but made him dig his nails into my arms, beg me, and make noise. He needed to let go a little and _just feel._

A while after we'd both calmed down, Tom had curled up on me, and I dragged my fingertips down his back soothingly. He as good as purred, and I chuckled, kissing his head.

"Do you wanna get up and eat some breakfast?" I asked him, gently scratching the small of his back.

"Sure; breakfast sounds good."

We sat at the island in our underwear, all the blinds shut to block out the sun, and ate the omelets I made for us. We lay on the couch again after we ate, watching movies and just stayed in the house doing absolutely nothing all day. It was the best.

**_-o-_**

I woke up the next morning to find Tom's spot empty and the sheets cool to my touch. When I padded quietly downstairs, stretching my back until it popped, he wasn't there. Even when I called his name I got no answer. I walked into the kitchen after accidentally stepping on my sweatpants, tripping, and having to pull the drawstring tighter so they wouldn't come off. I noticed a piece of paper next to the coffee pot, and picked it up.

_Good morning, beautiful. I didn't have the heart to wake you up this morning so I made you coffee and went on my run. You looked so peaceful in our bed, and once I got up and changed you had stretched out across the entire mattress and relaxed. Enjoy your coffee and I'll be back as soon as possible. I love you. –Tom_

I smiled and poured myself a mug-full of coffee. I sat on the counter, flipping through the newspaper that he'd left for me as well.

"Mmmm, now that's a delicious view."

I grinned when I heard Tom's voice behind me.

"Come around here so I can greet my husband properly after his run," I prompted him, not moving from my perch.

He chuckled softly and came to stand in front of me. His normally neat brown hair was mussed from him running his hands through it to keep it away from his face as he ran. I cradled his face in my hands, pressing my lips to his.

"Good morning," I purred.

"Mmm, good morning to you too," he hummed.

He leant up on his tiptoes, kissing me again. I shifted back on the island, patting the spot next to me. Tom hopped up on there, but turned to settle on my lap, his legs framing mine.

"Mm, you look amazing in your running outfit," I complimented him, grinning, and pecking him a kiss.

He smirked, but his cheeks flushed slightly, and pressed closer. I held onto him tightly, because if he fell backwards he'd smack his head on the counter across from us and would just be in a lot of pain afterwards.

"I saw that the police department is looking for a new sheriff," I told him, and showed him the newspaper. "You minored in criminal justice in college, so you'd be perfect. You need something to do while I'm at work. You're going crazy in this house."

"Why couldn't I take up a hobby then? Why do I need a job?" He asked, sounding snappier than he meant, before his face smoothed over. "Are we having money problems?"

"No, sweetheart. I just thought you might be interested. You don't have to do anything if you don't want to, I was just telling you," I soothed him.

"I— I didn't mean to dismiss it like that. I'd love to go talk to them and see if I qualified," he said, looking down at the newspaper. His cheeks were a lot redder, and I lifted his head up to look at me.

"What's the matter, honey bee?" I asked him, brushing my thumb over his flushed cheek.

"Nothing. I'm just being stupid," he muttered.

I smoothed his sweaty hair back. "You're never stupid. No matter if you try, you'll never be stupid."

He swallowed, and I left a kiss on his forehead. He sighed, and slipped off the counter.

A half hour later, Tom came downstairs in his fatigues, a folder in his hands.

"What's that?" I asked him, pushing a very annoying, rogue curl of hair away from my face.

"Just some stuff. Come on, we're going somewhere," he said, getting his keys from the table next to the door.

"I feel like I need to dress a little better than sweatpants and this T-shirt the way you said that," I told him.

"Well, go change," he told me, and as I passed him he smacked my butt.

I looked at him, eyebrows raised, and he winked at me. I could feel my face get warmer, and I quickly ran upstairs and changed into some shorts and a clean T-shirt. I pulled on my old sneakers, and followed Tom out the door. His boots crunched on the front walk and when he unlocked his Jeep he threw his jacket into the backseat. We were both quiet as he drove. I was only slightly surprised when he pulled into the police department.

"We'll only be here for a little, and then maybe we'll go see a movie or get lunch," he said, pushing open his door.

I got out as well, and followed him again as he walked inside. We were greeted by the deputy who, when Tom asked, turned out to be twenty-three but look seventeen. He seemed very intimidated with Tom in his fatigues and me with my size. But he quickly became friendly once we all got to know each other a little better. It was interesting to see the look on his face as Tom, finally smiling and relaxed again, introduced me as his husband.

"It's nice to meet you," the deputy choked out after a second, his face flushing with embarrassment.

I smiled, nodding, and laid my hand on Tom's back.

I didn't pay attention to whatever Tom and Deputy Kyle Marshall, we learned his name after he got over the shock, talked about since my job didn't involve guns and convicts. Kyle told me I could wander around and meet the other policemen.

"Is he your boyfriend?"

I looked up from glancing at an open book on a desk to find a man, about thirty something, watching me. I must have looked either terrified or very confused because he rephrased his question.

"Is the one in Army fatigues your boyfriend?"

"Husband," I clarified, holding up my left hand so my ring glinted in the light.

"How long?"

"Five years."

"Congratulations. I'm still a bachelor, but," he shrugged, "I've still got time."

I nodded, still obviously looking confused and scared to the man since I was only speaking in one and two word sentences.

"I'm Detective Neil Hutchinson," he introduced himself, and I shook his hand.

"Danny Smith," I told him.

He nodded, and I turned around when Tom called my name. He came around the corner, holding another folder, and then introduced himself to the detective.

"The mayor just came by and the deputy talked to him about me. He's very nice, and he said that I'd have a good chance at getting sheriff," he said, smiling.

"Told you," I muttered, but smiled. "That's great."

Tom dragged me behind him, his fingers wrapped around my wrist, and talked on and on about what I missed. He was so excited. We got some lunch, and headed to the movies. Tom had rolled his pants up to his knees since it was getting hotter out and traded his boots for some sneakers he kept in the back of his Jeep.

He dropped a quarter on the floor while he got out a few extra dollars since I was short some and when he bent down to get it his military I.D. poked out of his wallet. It wasn't really needed since he had on pixilated green pants with his name embroidered on a patch on them. They kind of spelled out that he was or had been in the military. His face flushed when he noticed all the people behind us and next to us in line watching him. He quickly ducked his head and walked through the door I held open for him. He'd gotten so shy since he got out of the Army. He didn't want people to know that he had been in war; it was a sensitive subject with him.

"I should have brought some shorts," he muttered, pushing his hair off his forehead and successfully messing it up.

I pulled him into a corner, blocking him from the people with my long frame.

"Honey, I want you to be proud of who you are and what you did for your country. You were so happy to have that deputy in there call you Major and sir because that showed you were older and part of something bigger. This isn't something to be ashamed of," I told him, tugging on the pocket of his pants.

He smacked my hand away, his eyes nervously flitting around, but he seemed to have relaxed.

"So, I want you to think that none of these people could have done what you did, since most of them couldn't have, and go out there and show off how proud you are to have served your country. Can you do that for me?"

He nodded, his eyes downcast.

"Can you do that for me?" I repeated.

"Yes, sir!" He said, locking his spine and staring up at me.

"Alright now you're just mocking me," I teased, leaning down to kiss his forehead. I put my arm over his shoulders as I pulled him out of the corner to the concession stands. "Come on, soldier. We've got a movie to see."


	25. Angel

_Tom_

I didn't get the job.

Which sucked.

Danny found me on the porch in one of the Adirondack chairs; my knees pulled me to my chest, our Sarah McLachlan in our stereo we put out there occasionally, watching the ocean.

He didn't say anything but leaned over me, pushing my hair out of my face and kissing my forehead. He stroked my hair, ruffling it slightly, and sighed. He slipped his arms around me, pulling me into his arms, and settled in the chair. He held me on his massive lap, and I curled up against him. He rubbed my back, knowing how much it hurt me to have yet another disappointment in my life. Danny softly patted my leg to the slow beat of a song, his lips moving to form the words against my forehead, and let out another long breath.

"I'm so sorry."

Danny spoke so softly and almost automatically that it didn't seem he was talking to me. I looked up at him, and he looked down at me, our gazes meeting. It was now when our eyes met that it felt like the first time we _really looked_ each other in the eye. I leant up slowly, hesitantly and brushed my lips over his. His long lashes barely brushed my cheek as he inclined his head towards mine and closed his eyes. The kiss was so slow and sweet that it felt totally new. To me at least. I faintly registered Sarah McLachlan's voice slowly making its way flawlessly through "Angel"; one of my favorite songs of hers. I sighed against Danny's mouth when he spread his fingers on my back, pressing me impossibly closer.

When Danny pulled away, our lips pouting out as to not lose contact as fast, he looked at me. His warm brown eyes were wide, but he grinned a moment later, and I giggled. He kissed my cheek, hugging me close. The CD changed and a mix one of us had made came on. Danny shifted to stand and I hopped off his lap. I watched him stand, wincing as his joints popped, and he pressed _STOP_ on the stereo.

"Is something wrong?" I asked him, following him into the house like an obedient, excited puppy.

"No, I was just getting hot and thirsty. We can go back out if you want," he told me, leaning down to peer into the fridge.

"No, no that's fine. I just wanted to know," I said, perching myself on the counter.

Danny gave me a glass, pouring sweet tea from the pitcher into it and giving me a kiss. He poured himself a glass and nudged the fridge door closed with his knee. He set his glass after taking a few sips from it on the island next to me, and leaned against me. I watched my lap, swirling my finger in my tea, and frowned unhappily. Danny knew what I was thinking, and leaned closer. He pressed his lips, so soft and full, against my ear.

"Shhh," he said.

He brought one of his hands up to my face, tilting my head up by nudging my chin up. Once I was looking at him, my grey eyes sad, he brushed his knuckles over my cheek. His soft nut-colored eyes, so warm and comforting, were gentle and loving as he looked at me. Deciding to distract me, he wrapped his long fingers around my hand and pulled it up, putting my wet finger in his mouth. I shivered, wanting to pull away but wasn't able to as I watched him. I moaned quietly, feeling Danny's hot tongue wrap around my finger. He decided that was enough of making me uncomfortable (in a good way) and kissed his way up my arm. He nipped at my shoulder and slid his feverish tongue over my neck after tilting my head to the side.

I closed my eyes, unable to hold myself together when he did that. It was maddening.

"Danny, stop," I told him.

He pulled away, watching me with concern in his comforting eyes. "Alright," he said, stepping away. I had no idea how he could do such _hot_ things to me and still not have anything as an effect. I was practically squirming on the granite countertop.

I was hit suddenly hard with the urge to _just cry_, but I knew how much it hurt Danny to see me so upset. I willed away the tears, reaching instead for the one thing that could always comfort and soothe me. Danny stepped back into my arms, letting me wrap my arms around his neck and hold onto his shoulders so tightly. His strong arms wrapped very carefully and gently around my waist to hold me.

"I love you," I told him, my voice thick with tears I forced away.

"I love you too, angel," he murmured, pulling his head back to kiss my forehead before pulling me close again.

***

"_American Idol_?" Danny asked me. "Really?"

I looked up at him, grinning. "Yes, really."

"I thought you said that show wasn't worth watching anymore because Alex went home," he wondered aloud, sitting down next to me on the couch.

"You _would_ remember that. But I decided that since Aaron was still on that I'd watch a little," I told him, snuggling into his side under his arm.

He chuckled and kissed my head.

---

After finishing my recording of _American Idol_, Danny dragged me to his new speed skating club/group/team/whatever you want to call it, at the ice skating rink. He was the best out of everyone and even the coach/group leader/person complimented him. I yawned, leaning back against the bleacher behind me, glancing around at the girlfriends and boyfriends and wives and husbands (we were the only gay couple) sitting in the bleachers spaced out at odd intervals.

"Is he your boyfriend?"

I jumped and a man in jeans and a moisture-wicking T-shirt stepped back. His short blond hair was mussed from him raking a nervous hand through it, and his big blue eyes were worried.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," he apologized.

"It's okay. I just didn't notice you until you said something," I told him.

"Sorry," he repeated, looking sheepish and apologetic.

"It's fine, I promise. What did you ask?"

"If the really tall one was your boyfriend? My girlfriend is always talking about how nice he is and how he told her about his "partner,""he explained to me.

"Ahh. He's my husband actually," I said, holding up my hand to show him my ring.

"I see. How long have you been married?"

"Five years."

He nodded, and stuck his hand out. "I'm Dustin."

"Tom." I shook his hand, strong and soft.

Dustin and I talked for a while, mostly about our loved ones on the ice. Dustin looked past me and I turned around. An average sized man in a dark grey suit was approaching and so I stood. He seemed to not like having to talk to me, but gave me a card after asking if I knew Danny. I didn't look at the card until after he left and Dustin had to go meet his girlfriend. My eyes were first drawn to five colorful rings in the corner; then to the clean, typed print on the thick cardstock.

_United States Olympic Committee  
Olympic Speed Skating  
Team USA_

I didn't want to start freaking out now, but when Danny whistled for me since I wasn't paying attention I shot up, bolting down the bleachers.

"Danny," I gasped, breathless, shoving the card at him.

He read it, his brown eyes flickering over the words, and then looked at me.

"Really?"

I nodded fast, and he grinned.

"Come on; let's go home," he said, tucking the card in his pocket and pulling me along with him.

Once at home and snacking on PB&J sandwiches with chocolate milk, Danny called the phone number on the card, unable not to "at least get some information." I called him a dork and ate my sandwich while he scribbled down things on a legal pad with his neat but chicken-scratchy handwriting.

It was almost a half an hour later that he got off the phone, and I got an apology kiss for it. I wasn't complaining.

"I'm sorry. My ear was starting to hurt. I'd much rather listen to you ramble on about something," he told me, kissing my cheek.

He told me all about what the man said on the other line, and I listened intently like always. Danny made up for talking my ear off that night, taking a hot shower with me and giving me a back massage. I arched up slightly against Danny's hands, blinking tiredly as my muscles relaxed.

"God, you're good at that," I moaned, and he chuckled, leaning down to press a kiss to my shoulder blade.

Once I was exhausted and relaxed, Danny laid down next to me, pulling me back against his chest. He stroked my hair with one hand, smoothing his other hand over my waist. I cuddled back against my husband, sighing contentedly and tiredly…

…But sleep didn't come. I tried turning over, letting a half-asleep Danny cradle me against his chest, but that didn't help. I got up, brushed my teeth (again) and washed my face. I changed into shorts instead of pants; laid down in just underwear. Kicked off the covers and turned the fan on and off. I tried not to move to fast or make too much noise so I didn't disturb Danny, but he was fine. He must have been really tired from speed skating earlier, and slept peacefully. I took my ring off, unwillingly sitting it on my nightstand, and curled up underneath only a sheet with the fan going. I started shivering a little, and pulled another blanket on. I got hot, kicked a blanket off, and started the cycle again. An idea occurred to me, but I blushed at the thought.

"Baby, do you need me to move?" Came Danny's sleepy voice from his spot curled up away from me.

"No. I'm just…"

"Come here," he murmured, turning over and opening his arms for me.

I nuzzled into his arms, letting him tiredly rub my back. I could feel his hand slow and his arms loosen around me. Once he was asleep, and I wasn't, I slipped from his arms and the bed. Before I could change my mind I pulled off my shorts, briefs, and T-shirt, climbing back into bed. Danny woke up a little, smiling when he felt bare skin against him, and kissed my forehead. He pulled me closer, his warm hand sliding down to the small of my back, making my skin break out in goosebumps. He shifted, pulling away one hand, and shoved at his sleep pants. He kicked them off, tossing them onto the floor next to the bed, and pulled me even closer. I shuddered and pressed closer, pulling the sheet and Danny closer around me as if to protect me. Danny curled around me, pulling me into the protective cage of his strong arms.

I let Danny, now more awake, rub my back and lull me to sleep with his comforting, deep voice. It worked, and soon my neck relaxed and he pressed my head onto his chest. He kissed my head, telling me to sleep and that he'd see me in the morning. I could feel him smile against my head, his warm breath ruffling my hair as he let out a long, content sigh.


	26. Sister

I woke up to an empty bed, which was odd. I looked at the clock. 10:45 it read and I gaped at it. I never slept that late.

"Tommy?"

I sat up, rubbing my eyes and yawning, when Danny peeked in. He had on sweatpants and by what I could see nothing underneath.

"Morning, sleepyhead." He smiled, coming into the room when he saw I was awake. He leaned down, kissing me softly, and sat down on the edge of the bed. "You slept so late this morning."

"I know. I don't know why I couldn't go to sleep last night. It was torture and now I've slept for half the day," I muttered.

Danny reached over, stroking my hair away from my face, and brushed his knuckles over my cheek. I leaned into his hand, and he smiled, leaning in to kiss my nose. I was still so tired and didn't want to get up, but I dragged myself out of bed, pulled on some sweatpants, and slogged downstairs with Danny following after me. While I stood at the coffee pot, Danny stood behind me, his fingertips kneading my back. I sighed, my shoulders sagging, and he chuckled.

"Honey, you really need to sleep in more," he told me, leaning down to give me a kiss and then moved over to the fridge.

We spent most of the day indoors while a storm raged outside. I sat curled up on the couch, clutching a throw pillow, while the strong winds blew against the house and shook the screens on the windows. Danny sat next to me, his arm around my shaking shoulders, and held me close to protect me from something that could never hurt me. He was immensely warm, and I cuddled up close to his side, tucking my head against his chest.

"You're safe, angel," Danny murmured, pressing his lips to my ear.

I nodded, letting out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding. A loud clap of thunder sounded in the distance, and Danny unconsciously pulled me even closer.

"How do you feel about getting a dog?" Danny asked me, brushing my hair off my forehead.

"I don't know. What kind of dog?" I asked him as he pursed his lips against my forehead.

"I like huskies," he said, continuing to place kisses on my face.

"Huskies are nice," I commented, tucking my head against his shoulder when a flash of lightning lit up the house and thunder rolled.

"Shhh," he hushed me, bringing his hand up to cradle my head. "You're fine."

I felt _incredibly_ stupid, but it couldn't be helped. Danny was used to this by now, and he would take any excuse to dote on me and hold me. I would often not let him protect me from anything, and when he'd complain I'd tell him I was a soldier and didn't need protecting. But this was the one thing I needed him for.

"Huskies," he said, stroking my hair. "Think about huskies."

But it didn't help. Any thought I had went straight out the window whenever thunder and lightning were put into the mix. Rain I could handle, but once the lightning and thunder came in my grip on my sanity was gone. Absolutely gone.

Once the storm calmed and the only thing left was a silent drizzle, I was _this close_ to losing it. Danny sat completely still, letting me try to get a hold of what composure I still had, and I so loved him for it.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, hanging my head and looking away from him.

"No," he whispered, tentatively pulling me closer, and smoothed my hair off my face. "Don't apologize, baby doll. You can't help it."

I bit my bottom lip hard, stopping its trembling, and sucked in a deep breath through my nose. Nothing worked and Danny's gentle, loving affection was too much. He treated me as if I'd hung the moon, and I didn't deserve it.

"Please don't cry, sweetheart," he pleaded with me, pulling me onto his lap. Just hearing him not want me to cry was enough for me to take a deep breath and try to calm down. He rubbed my back tenderly, kissing my head. "I love you."

"I love you too," I told him, my voice soft and breathy since I didn't trust it all that much.

I leaned my head back, looking at Danny, and pressed my mouth to his. He smiled for a second before kissing me back, his hand coming up to hold onto the back of my head. He carefully parted his lips, his tongue tracing my lip and pressing hard to part mine. I let him, and shifted so I sat on his lap facing him and kissed him harder. I fought his tongue for dominance and, sensing I needed it, he let me lead. He lay back against the couch, and I sat up on my knees to hover over him. Danny's hands went to my hips, his fingertips digging into the soft skin, and whimpered when one of my hands went to his hair and other to his sweatpants. I wasn't shocked to find what I did in his sweats, but was thankful he hadn't done anything about it during the storm. I snapped the waistband against his belly, and he tensed for a second. I didn't touch him directly, but though his sweatpants. He whimpered softly, pressing himself further back into the couch.

"Danny?"

We both jumped like someone had fired a gun, and Danny pulled me closer as he sat up.

Nicole and her new husband, Kyle, stood in the kitchen, wide-eyed and gaping. Danny nudged me off his lap and I shifted to sit on the couch, pulling my legs to my chest and blushing hard. Danny stroked my hair as he passed me.

"You could have rang the doorbell, Nicole. This is mine and Tom's house," Danny said, irritably, glaring at his sister. "Don't give me that look, young lady."

"Yeah, well we didn't think you'd be practically having sex on your couch when we came it. I thought that's why you sent us a key, so we wouldn't have to ring the doorbell," Nicole said.

"Yeah, well you should yell out or something. We're allowed to have sex on our couch if we want to, and, by the way, we weren't having sex. We were kissing. _But_," Danny sneered, stretching out the 'u'. "We have had sex on that couch."

"Alright, I'm not sitting there now that you said that. I _really_ don't need to know about your sex life, Danny. _Really_."

Danny snorted and it was quiet as Nicole and Kyle followed Danny somewhere.

"Hi, Tom," they both called out as they walked away.

"Hi," I mumbled, still mortified.

Danny came back a few minutes later, wearing a clean T-shirt and carrying another. After I pulled it on, he crouched down in front of me, smoothing my hair back.

"I'm sorry about my sister ruining everything. She's done that since she was born," he apologized.

"No, it's—"

"It's not fine, Tom. But, how about a rain check? No pun intended."

I stared at him, and he smiled wider and wider at my blank expression. He looked past me as I heard Nicole and Kyle coming back downstairs. He stood up, but leaned down to put his face right in front of mine, pressing his forehead to mine.

"How does tonight sound, hmm?" He murmured, smiling.

"Sounds….fine," I stuttered.

He chuckled once, softly, and kissed me. "Good. I love you."

He said this just as Nicole and Kyle walked in, kissed me once more, then kissed my forehead, and stood up fully. He ran his hand through my hair and told me to rest, pushing gently on my shoulder.

"See! That's fine. You can be all lovey and cute like that, but no more. I don't want to be forever scarred," Nicole told her brother.

"Just shut up. You're humiliating my husband. Who, by the way, needs to rest. Go into the dining room."

Danny shooed them away, and quickly brought me something to drink before getting stuff for our new guests and disappearing into the dining room.

---

"Looks like someone got laid last night."

My face flushed scarlet and Danny rolled his eyes at his grinning sister, pushing me into the kitchen. He always protected me from his overbearing family. The only one who didn't constantly (and jokingly) mock us was Xavier.

"You better get all your mocking in now so I can make it up to him before he goes out today. I'm making him go out with our friends so he won't have to endure you anymore," Danny told her before coming into the kitchen.

He pulled me into a hug. "I am so sorry. I apologize times infinity."

"It's fine, Danny. It's your family. You can't control them," I told him.

"Well I can sure as hell try," he said, and kissed me softly.

"Good luck with that," I joked, and stood up on my tiptoes to kiss him again.

An hour later, after I narrowly escaped several snarky comments thanks to Danny, I kissed Danny goodbye at my Jeep. He held my door open while I climbed in. Once it was running and I was buckled in, I leaned out the window to kiss my husband again before putting it in gear and pulling out of the driveway. I waved to him as I drove away and saw him walk into the house, his feet bare (as always) and shorts showing off his amazing legs.

I met a few of our friends for lunch, glad to be away from the house but sad that Danny wasn't here with me.


	27. Hardships

Danny and I put up with Nicole for about three days. When she and Kyle left, we immediately had sex on the couch. It was a lot more playful than we usually did, and I liked it. Danny lay on the couch, his long legs stretched out though the couch wasn't nearly long enough, and though it was a little difficult on such a narrow surface we did the "bottom on top" where I, the bottom, rode Danny, the top. My leg nearly slipped off the couch several times, but Danny held onto me tight enough to pull me back up. I couldn't really lean down to kiss him or anything, but his hands held onto my hips or occasionally stroked me. It was aggravating to have to be careful with my movements, but Danny assured me that he'd make it up to me.

I was sticky, hot, and sweaty by the time we'd exhausted ourselves. It was good to get all our pent up sexual frustration out though. My entire body trembled as the sweat dried on my skin and the air conditioner kicked on. Danny, his body always so warm, pulled me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me. He kissed my temple, nuzzling against my cheek. I smiled, tucking my head underneath his chin once we snuggled closer, and kissed his collarbone.

"My mom called the other day with my dad there too and they asked us to come down since there's apparently some big news," Danny told me, his words slightly slurred and mumbled against my forehead. He pulled away and looked me in the eye. "But you don't have to go if you don't want to."

"I want to go, Danny. I'm not going to make you deal with your family alone," I said, looking up at him.

He smiled, leaning down to give me a kiss. "Thank you, baby doll. You're so nice to do that after you had to deal with Nicole all weekend."

"She's your sister, baby. She's my sister-in-law, and so we both have to deal with her," I teased, and leant up to kiss him.

He chuckled softly against my mouth, pulling me closer.

***

_Danny_

The big news was that Nicole was pregnant. We found this out the evening Tom and I arrived. Then, my family scattered, leaving Xavier, Sam, Tom, and me in our huge house with my parents. She was about four months along now and they'd just found out.

I decided to be lazy the next day, sleeping in late and not getting up unless I absolutely had to. The truth was that I was heartbroken. My little sister was going to have a child, and I'd failed at fatherhood only months before. Tom had gone out to lunch with Sam and Xavier when I told him to go and that I was still tired. He left with a final goodbye kiss and I could hear my baby brother, his boyfriend, and my husband laughing downstairs as they left

I tried to sleep, I really did, but my mind kept bringing up the one thing I couldn't handle. I finally lost it a few minutes before Tom and they came home. I'd pulled my long legs to my chest, burying my face in my knees, and sobbed long and hard. Tom came into the room, and immediately dropped his backpack that he took everywhere on the floor. I flinched away from Tom's gentle hand, but regretted it after. He persisted though, wrapping his arms around me and holding me impossibly close while I cried.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Tom asked me while I sobbed into his strong shoulder.

I couldn't tell him; it just made me cry harder. He rubbed my back, pressing his cheek against my head, and just waited. I cried harder than I'd ever cried before, but it felt good. Tom let me cry, telling me I was safe, that everything was okay, that he was here, and that I was allowed to cry. Once I was somewhat composed, Tom wiped the tears from my face, pulling me down to kiss my forehead. I closed my eyes and Tom hugged me. I held onto him, pulling him onto my lap and situating his legs on either side of my waist. I hugged him so tightly and loved being able to have him in my arms; loved that he was there for me.

"Sweetheart, tell me what happened," he prodded when I brought my legs up behind him and leaned back against the mountain of pillows I have kept and always will keep on my bed here.

Tom's hands raked through my hair soothingly, and I sniffed, wiping at my face.

"My… sister is having a baby," I said, almost starting to cry again. "And I had a chance to be a father first, but I failed and now my little sister is going to be a better parent than I ever could be."

"No," Tom told me. "No, no, no, no. No, Danny, stop it. You were a great father. That is all that matters."

Tom hugged me again as a soft sob escaped me.

"Shhh," he said, stroking my hair and rubbing my back. "You didn't fail at being a father. Nicole won't even come close to being as good a parent as you were."

I felt as if I was losing my mind. It was torture to be this helpless.

"Shhh," Tom murmured again, pulling away slightly to kiss my forehead.

It took an hour for me to pour my aching heart out to my husband, who listened so intently, watching me with big grey eyes. It was close to evening now, and we were both getting tired. Tom curled up with me, stroking my unruly curls away from my face, and just looked at me.

"You're the best husband I could ever have," I told him, pulling him against my chest and playing with the ring I put on his left ring finger. I nuzzled against his face softly, giving him a loving kiss. "I love you so much, angel."

Tom coaxed me out of the bed, and I took a quick shower before we "snuck" downstairs. I could hear Xavier and Sam talking in Xavier's room, their voices muffled, when we passed the door. I found the Mp3/iPod dock underneath the sink just like always and Tom handed me my iPod. He snaked his arms around my waist from behind me while I leaned down to fool with my iPod. He slipped his hands into my sweatpants, and I jumped when his hands ghosted around my pelvis. Tom left a kiss on my back, as I hit _PLAY_ on the _Pirate Radio_ soundtrack, and I turned in his arms to catch his face in my hands and kiss him.

I made Tom and I omelets instead of waiting for my parents to come home. I made drop biscuits and Tom laughed, throwing his head back, when I put some of the Bisquick/milk mixture on his nose. Sam and Xavier peeked into the kitchen just as I slid Tom his plate. After demanding a hug from my baby brother, I made them omelets too.

"Sam's going to be in a "musical" thing pretty soon," Xavier told us, and Sam nudged him warningly. "What? You know both of them love to see you dance."

Sam's cheeks turned pink and he looked away while taking a sip of sweet tea.

"Don't be such a baby," Xavier told him, rubbing his shoulder. He leaned over, kissing Sam's cheek, and made him smile.

"That's cool, Sam. I tried to get Danny to take dance classes once, but he fell and quit after the first time," Tom said, and I glared at him.

"Awww, can you not handle dancing, Danny? Is it just too much?" Xavier mocked me, lacing his fingers with Sam's.

"Shut up. You're the one who would come crawling in bed with me when Aaron would come in your room and make ghost noises at night to scare you," I shot back at him, and his smile disappeared.

"I thought we agreed never to talk about that again."

That made us all laugh and Sam made Xavier laugh with us by kissing his cheek and telling him he thought it was adorable.

---

Sam and Xavier decided it would be fun to come back with us. They had a break in school since the teachers decided to go on strike (fun for them, right?) and piled into my Mazda with Tom and me. I knew them staying here would be easier than having Nicole here. I wouldn't have to have my guard up so high, and it would be _as_ embarrassing if they caught Tom and me kissing.

I was surprised to come home to music blasting. I dropped my messenger bag in the dining room and peeked into the family room and kitchen. Sam was in the family room, having shoved the coffee table out of the way, and was practicing his dance. He wasn't paying attention, instead focusing on his triple pirouette. I leaned against the island and watched him. When he landed, his eyes scanned across the floor and fell on me. His blue eyes widened and, though he was such a confident person, he flushed. He fumbled to shut off his iPod and I moved towards the family room. His back tensed when I touched his shoulder, so I withdrew my hand.

"I didn't mean to embarrass you," I told him, but he still wouldn't look at me.

"You didn't embarrass me. You just startled me," he said, tugging on his mesh shorts.

"Sam?"

"Danny?"

We both turned at the sound of our names and I met Tom in the kitchen while Sam wrapped his arms around Xavier's neck and kissed him. Tom smiled, leaning up on his tiptoes to kiss me, and I hummed against his mouth. I rested my hands on his waist and pulled him closer, continuing to kiss him. He pulled away after a moment, and I ran my fingers through his hair.

"Is something wrong, baby?" Xavier asked Sam, touching his flushed cheek.

Sam ducked his head, blushing harder, and Xavier looked at him worriedly.

"Come upstairs with me," Tom urged, tugging on my hand.

"Alright." I let him pull me down the hall and upstairs into our bedroom. He shoved me against the door once it closed, leaning up to press his lips to mine, and slipped his hands beneath my T-shirt.

We made it fast to our bed and Tom, though smaller than me by quite a bit now, pinned me down.

"I want to try something different. I wanna give you a different experience," he told me, kissing my neck.

I obliged, lying back on the bed, and letting him work at his own pace. I wasn't used to being a bottom, and I knew he wasn't used to be a top. Our roles were reversed and we were both scared and anxious. Tom bit his lip as he watched me wince and squirm while he attempted to relax and ready me. His hands, though they should have been rough and calloused, were soft and he was very gentle. He was touching me like he liked to be touched. He placed his hands on my chest near my shoulders, bracing himself, and though I was scared I encouraged him and prodded him along. He was barely in when I couldn't take it anymore. I held onto his shoulders, my nails digging into his soft skin, and he stopped.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" He asked me, being careful not to push in any further.

"Just… hold on a second. You're fine, angel, just give me a minute," I told him, gasping hard for lung-ful of air.

He tried to pull away but I grabbed him, digging my fingertips into his hips, and held him still.

"Don't move," I pleaded, and he froze.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, hanging his head.

"No," I told him, reaching up carefully to run my fingers through his hair. "It's not your fault."

He bit his lip, and I touched his cheek. I let out a long breath, trying to calm myself, and shifted very tentatively.

"You can move," I told him, and he shifted on his knees more comfortably.

He pressed forward, watching me for every wince and squirm.

---

Xavier raised his eyebrows at us when we came downstairs later that evening. Tom flushed, looking at the floor, and I wrapped my arm around his waist.

"Don't give me that look," I said, but it was jokingly.

Sam was stretched out on the couch, an ice pack balanced on his knee, watching a rerun of Friends while eating a sandwich. Xavier wiped his hands on a hand towel, leaning against the counter.

"You're quite the little housewife, Zay," I teased him.

He scowled at me, eating a tortilla chip from the bag on the island in front of him.

"God, bless it!"

We all looked towards the family room, and Sam peeked over the little wall separating the two rooms at us. He grinned and started laughing. Zay laughed, and it made me immensely happy to see my baby brother laugh.

"He's started saying that after his mom yelled at him for saying God, damn it," Xavier explained, grinning still. "It's hysterical whenever he says it."

"What happened, sweetie?" He asked Sam, looking towards him.

"I dropped my sandwich on the floor," he said as he reached down to the carpet to pick up his fallen sandwich. "Sorry, you guys!"

"It's fine. That carpet is really easy to clean. One of our friends spilled an entire glass of red wine on it, and it came right out," Tom explained, and I leaned down to kiss his head.

"So did you two have fun upstairs?" Xavier asked us, and then pointed at me. "You're limping."

I sighed, looking at him. "Go to hell."

He laughed, throwing his head back, and I could hear Sam laughing from in the family room.

"Good job, Tom. You got in his pants _finally_. After, what? Seven years?"

This was surprising coming from Xavier.

"I love you," he told me, grinning when I glared at him.

"I love you too, sweetheart," I drawled, unamused.

**Ahhh….brotherly love :)**


	28. Beach

_Danny_

The best investment I've ever made was a hammock. Honest to God.

It was big enough to fit both Tom and me, and it was legit the best choice I've ever made. A slight, warm breeze blew and I pushed off the sand below with my foot. Tom was lying with his head down at the other end, dozing with the wind ruffling his hair. A patch of sunlight would appear on his face if I swung us out too far, so I tried not to so I wouldn't wake him. My book rested on my chest as my eyes followed the sentences and I reached down to the sand to grab my Corona. I didn't usually drink, but our friends had had an extra case so they gave it to Tom and me. Tom's hand, resting on my thigh, moved and his fingers curled subconsciously. I smiled, reaching down to touch the back of his hand. He shifted, setting us rocking, and sighed contentedly.

He stretched his legs out beside me as he turned over again, and I smoothed my hand over his shorts on his thigh. He arched a little, settling again, and sniffed before falling quiet again. He was so beautiful and adorable at the same time while he slept. His face smoothed out, and his body was so relaxed. He was the epitome of relaxation when he slept. You just saw him sleeping and wondered how someone could sleep that deeply and peacefully. His hair ruffled in the gentle wind, and he swallowed quietly.

The sun continued to set slowly, bathing us in a reddish orange glow. I but my beer back in the sand, nudging off with my foot, and glanced up when I felt something trace over my leg. Tom smiled at me—a sleepy but fully aware of where his hand was smile—and I chuckled, closing my book and putting it down on the sand. Tom shifted carefully to lie against my shoulder, his head tucked close to my chest, and sighed tiredly. I didn't want to ruin the perfect moment by talking, so I just kissed his head and sighed back. We laid there for another hour, Tom dozing off again and I watching the stars come out.

It wasn't until Tom shifted wrong, sending us both into the sand (scaring the hell out of both of us as well), that we got up and went inside. We were supposed to be going to Rebecca and Saul's house down the beach for a bonfire/party so we showered (yes, we did what you think we did in the shower) and changed clothes. I carried the rest of the case of Corona in my left hand, my right arm draped over Tom's shoulders, and we walked barefoot down the beach. Tom held our shoes in his right hand, and his left hand was, conveniently, in the back pocket of my tan cargo shorts. His camouflage shorts and dark orange T-shirt made me want to take him like I did in the shower, but when he yawned and pressed impossibly closer I decided that he'd had enough tonight.

Kenny Chesney's "When the Sun Goes Down" played from a speaker somewhere, and the party was already in full swing when we padded through the sand up to our friends' deck. Rebecca was standing next to Saul, who was making what looked like hot dogs, hamburgers, and chicken on the grill, up on the tall deck. She looked down, spotted us, and waved excitedly. She had on a soft, flowing top but as the breeze picked up, blowing it against her stomach, you could tell she was showing. Tom looked up at me, worry etched into his still tired features, but I rubbed his arm, telling him I was fine. I waved with the hand that had just previously hushed my husband, and smiled.

There was chatter all around us, but we didn't talk as Tom still stayed with me to put the beer on a table full of drinks. I pulled Tom in front of me, kissing his forehead, and he smiled sleepily. He was so tired for some reason. We decided to pull away from the party, settling in the sand, and just nuzzled as close to each other as possible. Tom sat in between my legs, leaning back against my chest, and I very willingly held him. His tired eyes blinked a few times before they closed. I kissed his temple, smiling at how exhausted he was today, and was glad I could watch him sleep some more. Soon though, Rebecca found us, being very quiet when she saw Tom asleep on my chest. She smiled at me, easing herself down onto the sand on my left side. Her long blond hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she had the "glow" of a newly pregnant woman. I swallowed and smoothed down Tom's hair as the breeze ruffled it.

"Do you want me to get you something to eat?" She asked me, successfully breaking mine and Tom's long silence.

"Sure," I said, aimlessly stroking Tom's arm.

"Okay. What do you want? We have hamburgers, cheeseburgers, hot dogs, and barbeque chicken," she told me, smiling again. She was _always_ smiling.

"Chicken. And bring him a plate if you could. He'll wake up in a minute."

"Chicken for him too?"

"Yeah."

Rebecca got up, making her way back to the house. Tom shifted against me, and peeked up at me.

"Hey, angel. Rebecca's bringing us something to eat. I told her chicken for both of us. Is that okay?"

"That's fine. Thanks," he mumbled tiredly.

I smiled, and kissed his forehead. Rebecca came back a minute later, two Cokes in her back pockets, carrying our plates. We thanked her and she ran off to find Saul. Since we were sitting oddly, we did one plate at a time, sharing the chicken and potato salad on each.

"Are you feeling okay?" I asked Tom quietly when we were done eating.

"Yeah," he sighed. "I'm just really tired."

"I noticed," I teased him, kissing his head.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, folding his arms over his chest.

"Don't be, sweetheart. It's not your fault. I was just teasing you," I soothed him.

He laid his head to the side on my arm, staring out at the black ocean in front of us, and I leaned down, brushing my lips over his soft cheek. He sighed, and I pursed my lips against his cheek to give him a loving kiss.

"Let's go home," he said, his voice soft and sleepy.

"Alright, baby doll." I kissed his cheek again before helping him stand.

He stumbled along next to me when I went to tell Saul and Rebecca good-bye and soon enough we were on our way home with the still full case of Corona.

***

I looked all over the house for Tom, but finally found him curled up outside in the hammock. I guess he was making up for all the naps he missed out on and sleeping in late he refused because he was snoozing peacefully when I padded down into the sand. I leaned down, kissing his forehead, and slipped my arms under him. He swallowed and sighed when I cradled him to my chest. I carried him inside, laying him on the couch. He woke up about half an hour later, stretching out and sighing sleepily.

"Afternoon," I said, leaning over him for a kiss.

He smiled, leaning up and kissing me. When I stood back up, he laid back down, blinking tiredly and smiling at me.

"I now know how amazing naps are," he sighed.

"Hmmm," I hummed. "They are pretty amazing."

When I bent down to put something in our washing machine, I jumped when I felt warm arms wrap around my waist. Tom chuckled, nuzzling closer to me, and I laughed. Tom pressed his ear to my back, being very quiet. I started to shift, but he pressed me against the washing machine to keep me still. I got the message, but a very dirty image flickered through my head momentarily.

"What are you doing?" I asked him after a minute, keeping my voice low.

He'd relaxed and just stood there.

"Listening to your heartbeat," he told me, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I chuckled, and he nuzzled against my back. He continued to do this while I finished the laundry, and before he could protest I spun around in his arms, picking him up. He squeaked, his fingers pressing into my shoulders, but smiled at me once he was up in my arms. Walking while carrying him was easier than someone would think. But then again I looked to be twice his size, though I wasn't. His lips started working on my neck, making my breathing heavier, and I gave up on the idea of the couch. I pushed him against the wall in the little hallway to the dining room, stealing his lips from my throat. He eagerly accepted this, wrapping his arms around my neck and turning this heavy breathing kiss into a French one.

I released Tom's lips, pushing his head back against the wall and devouring his sensitive neck. His mouth opened in a silent gasp, and he gripped my hair in his hand. I could feel his excitement growing—pushing against my stomach—but right now his soft, needy whimpers were all I paid attention to. He dug his nails into my back, dragging across my shoulder blades. I winced, but shoved the pain away. Tom whined—an impatient, "fuck-me-now-or-so-help-me-God" whine—and pulled my head up to look him in the eye. His pupils were dilated, almost completely covering the pale grey iris. I licked my upper lip, making him harden a fraction more, and hoisted him higher in my arms. Before I could get back to the couch, Tom leaned close to my ear.

"Just fuck me on the kitchen floor. No one'll ever know," he told me, his voice low and rough, and kissed my ear.

I complied, dropping onto my knees on the hardwood floor. Tom smiled, glad I'd listened. He blushed a little when I pulled his T-shirt off and carefully laid him on the cool floor. His cheeks pooled with more blood when I came down on him and, though it was a bit fluffier than we were going for right then, I nuzzled against his face to kiss him softly. But we'd soon had enough of the gentle, sweet gestures so I snapped my hips against his, making him throw his head back. His back arched with each forward thrust of my hips, and his nails still dug into my back, making my eyes water. The pleasure was soon high enough to mask the pain, and when Tom rocked back, tentatively setting his legs on my shoulder, I could feel how deep I was now hitting him. He gasped, and moaned louder than I'd ever heard from him. He squirmed when I worked his cock, and tried his hardest to hold onto the edge. His breathing was shallow, and that worried me. I slowed and as I leaned over him to touch his cheek, his back arched and he all but screamed unintelligibly. I ducked my head as I felt those familiar endorphins fill my body—making my skin tingle, my back arch, my eyes squeeze shut, my toes curl, and my mouth open in a gasp that sounded a lot like Tom's name. Tom was watching me when I finally opened my eyes. He was still breathing a little shallowly, but he just looked wide-eyed and shocked. He glanced over me at the clock on the stove and rested his head back on the floor, watching the ceiling.

"Are you all right?" I asked him, breathing heavily and carefully pulling out of him. He winced slightly.

"Yeah," he breathed, reaching up with a _very_ shaky hand to brush my hair out of my face.

I hissed when my now stinging back came in contact with the floor, but I disregarded the pain just to let Tom curl up against my side. I'd go through any amount of pain just to hold him. His hand lay on my chest, and I let him use my arm as a pillow. His skin was hot against mine, and he wiped sweat off his forehead, swiping his hand on his thigh. I stroked his hair calmingly, and he yawned up at me adorably. I smiled, leaning down to kiss his hot forehead. His eyes closed sleepily as the adrenaline and endorphins wore off. His hand that he'd rested back on my chest shook with the fading high and I pressed it to my chest, hushing him with a low, "Shhh."

He licked his lips, resting his head on my shoulder. I pursed my lips against his forehead once more, before he sat up abruptly.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" I asked him, sitting up quickly and wincing, before I rested my hands on his arms.

"I hurt you."

I sighed, rubbing his arms, and kissed his shoulder. He tensed under my gentle touch, and brought his legs up to his chest. I shifted to bring him in between my legs, and folded myself around him.

"Baby, you didn't mean to," I tried to tell him, but he just shook his head.

"It doesn't matter. I hurt you." He sounded close to tears now.

I knew that he'd been getting emotional after sex lately, but I didn't care. I just hushed him again, pressing his head onto my shoulder, and held him. He tried for as long as he could to hold himself together, but I just coaxed it out of him by rubbing his back and telling him I was here for him. His entire body shook violently against my chest as he tried to hold back the tears, but he finally lost it. He buried his face in my shoulder, muffling his painful wail. It made me want to cry with him to hear him practically scream in emotional agony. But he didn't cry for long. He sniffled, and wouldn't look at me. I'd seen him at his worst and his most vulnerable, but this was just crazy. He'd cried our first time together for God's sake, and I'd just talked him through it.

He was an emotional person. He couldn't help it.

"Angel," I prompted, but he ducked his head away from me. "Look at me."

After a moment, I decided I'd make him a deal.

"If you won't look at me, then will you clean my back for me? You're the one with the good medical training."

He still wouldn't look at me, but I sat with my chest against the back of a kitchen chair while he cleaned the scratches on my back. I gripped the chair as the alcohol stung the wounds, but relaxed when I felt him blow gently across my shoulder blades. Once he'd taped gauze over the wounds that were now oozing small amounts of blood from the irritation, he stepped away, reaching down to pull on his briefs and a T-shirt. It happened to be my T-shirt, but I think he did that purposefully. My shirt seemed to swallow him up, and once I'd pulled on my boxers I hugged him. He didn't stiffen or anything, just relaxed into my arms. I smiled, kissing his temple, and a smile ghosted across his lips.

Catching him by surprise, I swung him into my arms, bridal-style, and he finally laughed. I nuzzled against his neck, making him laugh harder since he was ticklish there, and kissed his forehead. I sat him on the counter, and kissed him briefly before opening the fridge. When I gave Tom a glass of sweet tea, brushing my knuckles over his flushed cheek, he smiled at me over his glass. He was still hot, so I fished an ice pack out of the freezer, wrapped it in a hand towel, and pressed it to his belly underneath my T-shirt. He shivered slightly when he offered me some of his tea, and I gladly took him up on his offer.

"Thanks, sweetie." I kissed him tenderly, tasting the sweetness of the tea on his lips, and stroked his hair away from his beautiful face when we pulled away.

We were being sweet and affectionate now after some of the best sex of our lives. Tom blushed a little when I looked at him with nothing but love and adoration. I leaned in, molding our mouths together for another sweet kiss.


	29. Books

_Tom_

"You want to open a used bookstore?" Danny asked me, raising his eyebrow. His brown eyes were tired since he just woke up from a nap. He'd showered and changed and was getting ready to go to work.

I nodded, folding my hands in my lap and looking down at them. Danny leaned down in front of me, pulling my head up, and brushed the backs of his fingers over my cheek.

"If that's what you want to do, sweetheart, then do it. I want you to be happy, so do whatever it takes, as long as it's legal and won't give me a heart attack, to make yourself happy," he told me, kissing my forehead before disappearing to find something.

I sat at our small kitchen table, wearing one of Danny's too small T-shirts that was still slightly big on me (he wasn't huge, but I was tiny now) and some cloth shorts, as the little creative gears in my head turned. I grabbed a legal pad and a pen, kissing Danny good-bye as he left, and started in on my idea.

***

"Are you happy?" Danny asked as he walked through the doors of my new little building.

I looked up from writing '$2' in a small, light blue book on Astronomy and smiled at him.

"Yes, I am very happy. Thanks for asking."

He smiled, coming over to my little desk by the philosophy section, and kissed me. He sat a brown paper bag and a cup of something hot on the desk next to the register.

"It's coffee with French vanilla, just so you know. I know you like it, and I was getting a coffee for me on my way to work. You have to leave me a note or something because I _freaked out_ this morning when I couldn't find you," he explained, crouching down to look at the stacks of books around me. His hair was shorter, and I reached over to run my hand through it.

"Thanks. Well, I was excited to get here, and I forgot. When did you get your hair cut?"

"Yesterday afternoon on my break. It was getting annoying. When I came home you were crashed, so I guess you never saw it," he said, still reading the titles of the books I'd already priced.

I tried to twirl a tight, reddish/brown curl around my fingertip, making Danny smile. He had the most beautiful hair and eyes you could ever see on a man. He was the most amazing person I'd ever laid eyes on and I was so lucky to have him.

"You know, your hair reminds me of the computer kid on NCIS: Los Angeles or one of the doctors on Bones. When it's longer, now it's barely long enough for me to even know you have curls," I said, slightly miffed that he'd cut his hair so short.

"Yes, well, you didn't have to deal with it. I was about ready to put random pieces of it in little ponytails _just_ to keep it out of my face," he told me, standing up.

He was so incredibly tall that he was sometimes scary if light hit his angular face just right or you were sitting down as I was right now. But he didn't scare me. Especially with the way his chocolate colored eyes crinkled slightly at the edges when he grinned down at me.

"I'll be at the restaurant if you need me, angel. Just call." He leaned down, and I smiled before molding our mouths together. We almost started to deepen the kiss but decided against it when Danny saw the time.

"The newspaper is coming by to talk to us at around four, if you can make it. They're fascinated by the two men that are opening a new used book store on the boardwalk in Charleston, South Carolina." I scoffed, and made Danny giggle. "But if you can't make it, they'll probably just come back some other time."

"I'll make it, sweetie. I promise. That's my break time anyway. I'll see you then."

He blew me a kiss from the door, and I blushed, smiling. I listened as the cowbell jangled as he left, dodging across the street to his car. My Jeep sat outside the store, the green paint shining in the bright sun. I sighed, looking at the stack of books I had yet to price. Most everything was set up, but I wasn't opening until tomorrow. I stood, deciding to stretch my legs, picked up my coffee and bag, and went into the small back room. Even more books were stacked against the wall back there, but I guarantee you that I could not fit anymore books on the shelves lining the store. I was putting the books I had just about finished pricing on little tables and a random shelf in the middle of the room. Two sofas sat with their backs to the said random shelf. One couch was orange, the other striped. A plush, yellow chair sat on the left of the orange sofa that faced the fiction section. The striped sofa faced the music, art, biographies, and things that had to do with Earth. That wasn't the actual name of the section, but it was slipping my mind at the moment. Books lined the deep windowsills and sat showcased for the people walking by to see. I'd always loved bookstores, going even if I didn't have the money to buy anything. I would just sit among the books, reading anything I could get my hands on. Danny loved books as well, and was eager to help me with this business.

I jumped when I heard a knock on the door. I sat my bag and coffee down, walking back out into the store. A man, _maybe_ around my age, was standing outside the glass door. He smiled when I walked up, and I unlocked the door.

"Hi, I'm Graham from the bike shop down the street," he introduced himself.

"Hi, I'm Tom." We shook hands, and I stepped outside. We stood on the sidewalk and talked.

Graham was _very_ tattooed. He had tattoos on his arms, probably his chest, his neck, his legs; _everywhere_. But he was so nice. He owned the bike shop/coffee shop a few stores down (next to a burger place that he said was phenomenal) and also informed me that the woman that owned the store in between us was not very nice.

"I saw a guy leave your shop a little while ago. Do you mind me asking who that was?"

I shook my head. "That's my husband, Danny. He works at Charleston Grill, but he's going to help me with the store as well."

"Cool," he said, turning as the bell at his store jingled and then turned back to me. "Duty calls. Well, I'll see you around."

"Yeah, you too."

I watched him leave, the backs of his calves covered in ink. He was sweet, and interesting. I'd really love to get to know him more.

---

When Danny finally came back at exactly four, I'd already learned everything about Graham and he knew pretty much everything about me. But Graham was back in his shop after bringing me another coffee (free of charge since I just started here and was a friend now) and I was waiting patiently for my husband to return.

Danny looked less than pleased when he came in, ducking his head almost sharply to walk through the door. I settled back in my chair instead of getting up as he sat down on the orange couch. The silence, except for the CD I was playing from my little boom box next to me, was making me more and more anxious by the second. I gripped the hem of my shorts, and then wiped my now sweaty palms on them. Danny looked down at his lap, his shoulders starting to shake. I vaulted from my chair. I locked the door, pulling the shade down over it and the windows. I approached Danny slower though, easing myself on to the couch next to him. It wasn't until he was upset and vulnerable did you really see how easy he was to love and comfort. I was the martyr out of the both of us. I almost refused comfort when I was upset, but Danny was slowly making me _need_ comfort and want him to help me.

"Sweetheart," I started, tentatively touching his back. I could feel him shaking; so hard that it worried me. "What happened?"

He didn't look at me, but let me wrap my arms around him. He never made a lot of noise when he cried. That was my job. I'd been a very colicky baby, and I still wailed when I cried. It was just something I did. I got up momentarily, stroking Danny's little curls as I passed him, and dug out a box of tissues in the back. I sat on the old but very thick and sturdy coffee table and opened the box of tissues. I pulled one out, reaching over to tilt Danny's head up. He sniffled, his face so flushed and wet, and a little sob left his lips. I smoothed his hair back, though it didn't fall on his forehead anymore, and wiped underneath his pained brown eyes. I didn't push further, knowing he'd tell me in time, and wiped tears off his already tear-stained cheeks.

"I lost my job."

I swallowed, watching Danny's watery eyes flicker over my face, before hugging him. He buried his face in my shoulder, but he was calming down now. We didn't hear the newspaper people at all, and hoped they got the message. Danny stretched out on the couch while I taped up signs on the shelves to tell which section it was. Danny explained everything to me, getting angry tears in his eyes as he talked. He lost his job because his boss felt his being gay interfered with his job. This made me incredibly angry. The man in charge of my unit knew I was gay—hell, everyone I worked with knew I was gay—but none of them cared and I was just Tom. They respected me and I respected them. Yes, some nasty things had been said to me, but I was so thick-skinned I didn't give a damn. Danny didn't care if I wanted him to fight this; he'd hated his boss anyway. He didn't want to go back.

Graham knocked softly on the door, and Danny peered over the arm of the sofa.

"You can stay, babe. It's just Graham. He owns the bike shop two doors down," I told him, giving him a kiss as I passed him.

"I thought you were gone, but I didn't see a sign out or anything," Graham said and I let him inside. He stopped when he spotted Danny. "Oh, you must be Danny."

Danny hauled himself off the couch and Graham, probably an inch or so over or under six feet, swallowed hard. Danny smiled halfheartedly.

"I know. I'm freakishly tall. Don't think you'll embarrass me by staring. It happens too often now that I don't even notice. I'm Danny, Tom's husband," he said, shaking hands with Graham who made himself stop staring.

"If you guys want to join me for an early dinner or just a coffee, you can. I'm closing up right now," Graham offered.

"Sounds good. I'm starving," Danny accepted, and I nodded.

The dinner next Graham's bike shop was amazing. I locked up the store and Danny and I drove home in our separate cars. Danny made love to me that night, exhausting me further, and held me impossibly close as we slept.

---

Danny's hands encircled my hips, pulling me back against him. I had on a long-sleeved Old Navy T-shirt of his from "The Turn of the Century," a.k.a. the year 2000, and a pair of my briefs. He ducked his head, leaving a kiss on the nape of my neck and taking a deep breath in through his nose. He smiled against my neck, and I couldn't help but smile too.

We ate a quick breakfast since we slept in and we were opening at ten. We drove into town in my Jeep, parking outside the shop. Graham waved from his shop where he was unlocking the door. I quickly finished putting up the little signs, folding the two little signs that sat on a table with four or five books that Danny and I chose as our picks from our large library here. A few of the handwritten signs were scribbled in Danny's messy but legible scrawling chicken scratch and the rest were either typed or in my neat block print. If our daughter had been here for this I would have let her write all the signs in her neat but loopy and slightly cursive handwriting since she loved to do things like that. But she wasn't, and I didn't want to dwell on the past.

Right before we opened, I remembered we hadn't hung up our sign outside. Danny got right on it, and helped me out. We had _a lot_ of customers surprisingly, since there weren't many used book stores in Charleston. Danny was the friendly greeter who was (bless his heart) constantly putting more books onto the shelves. Kids (there with their moms) loved Danny, outright asking him why he was so tall. He almost didn't fit in this building, but he had just enough clearance to move comfortably. I had on a pair of my fatigue pants that had gotten too short for me that I cut off to be shorts and apparently the dog tags I forgot I was wearing made me a popular subject. I also apparently looked much younger (and a lot less gay) than I was since a few teenage girls that came in to try and find a popular vampire book (which they found) thought I was cute and "dateable". I hid my laugh as a cough and the girls didn't think anything of it. I crossed my ankles over each other, my sneaker scratching against my leg, and sighed. I leaned back in my chair, and Danny walked behind me from the back room. He was carrying another stack of books, and I reached out to touch the small of his back as he passed me. He smiled at me over his shoulder, before greeting a young couple as they walked in. He put books up on the shelves and I watched his muscles move underneath his T-shirt. He bent down, his T-shirt riding up over his shorts as he collected a few books into his hands, and I watched him intently.

"Is he your boyfriend? Or are you just friends?" The girl, who had come in with someone who was probably her boyfriend, asked me.

I turned my attention to her and blushed. "He's my husband actually."

"Oh, that's great. When did you get married?" She asked, shifting her weight to her left foot.

"Five years this July. We lived in Maine for a year, and since they're one of the states that recognize gay marriage we thought why not?"

"That's awesome. My brother just got married in New York to his boyfriend and they're on their honeymoon right now in Greece," she told me.

"Tell them congratulations. We didn't have a honeymoon. We had a major family issue and we had to move back to Georgia. Our lives have been crazy these past few years, and we haven't had time to go on any kind of vacation."

"That really sucks. You need to take off sometime and just go anywhere"

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see."

The girl nodded and when her boyfriend called her name she went over to him. I looked back over at Danny, and he was smiling down at a little girl who had immediately gone over to him when she and her mother had walked in. Her mom apologized to Danny, but he told her that it was fine.

I leant down and turned on my little boom box, my jazzy/contemporary mix playing. I picked up my book while the few people in here shopped, and continued where I'd left off before. Danny's cell phone rang, and he quickly dug it out of his back pocket. He held it between his ear and his shoulder, talking softly to the person on the other side. Once he put the books in his hands on the shelves, he took the phone in his hand. When he turned towards me, I could tell something was wrong. I rang up a customer while Danny continued to talk on the phone. His voice was low and soothing.

"Who is it?" I asked him when he came closer, hanging up.

"Xavier was in a car accident. Beat up his truck pretty bad, but nothing that my parents can't fix for him with all the money they have now. He, on the other hand, is having an emotional breakdown. He was already on the edge of his—" Danny waved his hands around in front of him, looking for a word. "—anxiety. Whatever you wanna call it. I tried so hard to get my parents to put him into therapy or _something_ but no!"

I stood up, pulling on Danny's hand to take him into the back room, and just gave him a hug. He sighed, his entire body relaxing, and pressed his hand into the small of my back. I kissed his cheek before I had to go back out into the store. He came back out a minute later, I know having taken several deep breaths, and smiled at a few more customers coming in. I watched him intently, keeping him within my peripheral vision to make sure he was okay.

Even though we didn't have a whole lot of time alone in our big house, I was so happy to have this place now.

Danny, putting a few more books on the shelves, turned around to look at me. He finally smiled when I made a face at him, and he dissolved into hysterical laughter. He covered his face with his hands, trying not to embarrass himself, and I grinned. Seeing his back shake with his endearing laughter made me so happy to see him enjoying himself.


	30. Quilt

_Danny_

Tom's been having a long streak of "good days" we called them. He still had his depression and post-traumatic stress disorder, but he worked very hard to maintain himself. We closed the bookstore on Saturdays and Sundays so we could have weekends to ourselves. I was up at around nine, but Tom was already up. He sat at the small kitchen table, just staring out the window that showed the yellow siding of the house beside ours several yards away. His coffee was half gone, so when I poured myself some, I poured some fresh over his. I brought him the French vanilla cream, knowing this would be one of his "bad days." I sighed when I settled down next to him. He didn't move or say anything. He just stared out the window. I drank my coffee quietly, waiting for him to initiate any kind of discussion.

"Did you sleep at all last night? I don't remember you getting in bed with me," I finally asked him, keeping my voice low and gentle.

He shook his head, finally stirring some cream into his coffee and taking a tentative sip. "I didn't sleep at all. I went to the diner for a while just so I wouldn't wake you up. I read and wrote in a journal a little."

"Oh, baby, you don't need to leave just so you won't wake me up. I'll be fine," I told him.

He shook his head again, looking down at the table. "I needed to get out. And you're a light sleeper."

It was a few moments before he started talking again.

"I slept for about an hour when I came back home. I had a nightmare, and decided that I'd rather just live off of coffee to keep myself up."

I didn't say anything to that, knowing I would get protective and try to tell him that staying up just so he didn't have nightmares wasn't the answer. I took a drink of coffee instead, and successfully scorched my throat.

---

I (somehow) coaxed Tom to try and take a nap. He'd been napping and sleeping in for a while before we opened the store, and I was worried that because we opened the store he wasn't sleeping well anymore. I sighed, watching as he slept on the couch. He looked so relaxed and peaceful, but at his eyelids flickered I wondered what he was dreaming about. If he was dreaming at all.

My back tensed as a painful sounding cry came from the family room. I don't think I've ever run so fast in my life, but I made it to my destination in seconds. Tears rolled down Tom's flushed cheeks, soaking into the pillow he dug his fingers into. My name was mixed into the struggling cries and desperate screams. It hurt me so badly to hear him so troubled but yet I had no way to help him.

Night terrors were by far worse than nightmares. Ten times so. I hated them with a burning passion, but I'm sure Tom _despised_ them. I knelt next to the couch, smoothing Tom's sweat matted hair back. He cried out again, but I didn't wince or whimper this time. I brushed my knuckles over his wet cheek, stroking his hair off his forehead.

"Tom," I murmured, brushing my lips over his forehead as he sobbed. "Sweetheart, you need to wake up."

He continued to cry, tears continuing to gush down his tear-stained cheeks. I just wanted to help him, but couldn't. I left a more substantial kiss on his forehead now, leaning closer to his face. I shook his shoulder gently at first.

"Honey, it's just a dream. You're safe."

He always seemed to quiet momentarily when I talked, but would just cry harder afterwards. Though it was clichéd, I stroked his hair from his forehead again and pursed my lips against his when he was (more or less) quiet. His eyelids fluttered for a second, before he let out a pained moan that gave me goosebumps. I shook him a little harder now, just wanting him awake. I couldn't handle it anymore. I could feel my throat getting tight and knew I was about to lose it.

"Tommy," I started sobbing now, "please."

Just as I gave up, sitting next to the couch with tears streaming down my face, he jolted awake with a sudden cry. I knew not to touch him until he touched me since I didn't know if he wanted my comfort or not. But when he saw me, he roughly wiped his face on his shirt and climbed off the couch. He hugged me tightly, pushing my head onto his shoulder, and rubbing my back.

"Shhh," he said, though that's what I should have been saying to him.

He knew how stressful it was on me to have him in such emotional, mental, and physical pain all the time. I treasured the days when one of us didn't cry, but especially treasure the ones when Tom didn't cry.

We'd lost all dignity around each other since we first started dating. It was still embarrassing to cry in front of Tom, but he told me that it showed I was tender-hearted and trusted him a lot. This may be true, but I was mortified after crying in front of him.

"Danny, baby," Tom tried to say, but I ignored him.

Tom, the persistent man that he is, just wrapped his arms around me—ignoring how I stiffened—and tucked himself against my chest. I had to hold him then, and he knew that. That was his ploy, and it worked every time.

"I'm sorry I'm such an ass," I told him, kissing his ear.

He smiled and looked up at me. His face was still flushed and his cheeks were still streaked with tear tracks but it was good to see him smile. Even if it was a small one.

***

"Today's going to be better."

I looked up from nursing my coffee at Tom when he walked in. He'd slept in an entire hour and he looked a lot better than yesterday.

"I sure hope so," I said, leaning back to give him a kiss as he passed me.

I'd woken up with this _need_ to make love to Tom. As he got himself some coffee, I watched him carefully. Every movement he made just made me want him more. He smiled at me over his mug, obviously knowing what I wanted.

Once we both finished our coffee, though no one lived with us we discreetly made our way back upstairs.

---

It was some of the best sex we've had. Period.

I took him on top of our made bed, the quilt cool against our bare skin and the fan drying the sweat once it beaded on our skin. Tom moved a lot more than he usually did and we successfully messed up the bed again.

Tom yawned, rubbing at his gorgeous eyes, and tugged the quilt closer around him. I smiled, stroking his hair away from his face, and he leaned forward to kiss me. Cradling him close, I kissed his forehead and brushed the pad of my thumb across his cheekbone. I rubbed his back through our quilt that I had swaddled him in when he'd shivered from the fan. He nuzzled against my chest, kissing my collarbone.

"You're such a woman after sex," I told him, shifting him so his legs were draped over my left thigh.

He scowled up at me and said nothing. He let out a long breath and rested his head on my chest. I had a sudden little flashback of when we finally came home from all that happened in March.

_I walked passed…her room, deliberately looking away. But a sound caught my attention. I nudged open the door and my heart dropped at what I found. Tom was curled up on Emily's bed, his lithe back shaking hard as he cried. He held onto her teddy bear and sobbed. He tried so hard, but sometimes he tried _too_ hard. I ended up holding him, letting him just cry to me and tell me how much it hurt._

"Danny?"

I started, and he instinctively pulled one shoulder up, making the quilt rise higher to hide his face.

"Sorry, angel. I was just thinking," I told him, and he nodded.

I slipped my hand inside the quilt, tracing over the new scar I knew so well now. Tom flinched, smiling since it tickled, and I grinned. I kissed his naked shoulder after pushing the quilt away from his smooth skin. He shifted, whimpering only quietly, and peered up at me. I leaned down, pressing several kisses across his forehead.

"Do you want to go to Graham's and get a coffee?" He asked me, his big grey eyes looking slightly sleepy.

"That sounds good," I said, and he craned his neck to give me a kiss.

***

I left Tom in charge of the store so I could go down and see my baby brother. He'd called me, balling, to tell me he'd been in a car accident and I could tell he was _beyond_ upset about it. When I walked into my parents' house, Sam was on the couch, watching highlights from March Madness a few months earlier on ESPN.

"You were pretty amazing in that game," I told him, successfully scaring the shit out of him, and smiled.

"Jesus," he panted, his hand on his chest.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist myself," I said, leaning down to kiss his head.

He was used to it since I did it out of habit and his sister, I'm sure, did the same thing.

"Is Zay around?" I asked.

"He's taking a shower, but he should be out soon," Sam said, turning down the TV and looking up at me.

"You came all the way down here to see him."

It wasn't a question, but I nodded, looking at the floor. "I had too. I'm worried about him."

"You and me both." He shifted to watch the TV again, bringing his legs up onto the couch with him.

I ruffled his hair and walked into the kitchen. When I came back out into the family room, Xavier was walking in too, his pale hair damp and messy. He had on old grey sweatpants and a frayed black T-shirt. He looked exhausted, and I noticed a long cut on his cheek, a similar one on his jaw, and a nastier one on his forehead. Bruises and scratches peppered his arms and probably his legs since he was wearing shorts. He winced when he moved his arm but when he spotted me, he froze all together.

I stumbled back a little when he hit me, his arms tight around my waist, and stood there for a second before I fully registered he was on me. I straightened, my left arm winding around his back and the other hand coming up to cradle his head against my palm and chest. He sniffled, pressing even closer, and I leant down to kiss his head. I glanced over at Sam, and he was watching us, his lower lip pulled under his teeth. He looked at me, his blue eyes sad and worried, and we watched each other intently.

"Are you okay?" I mouthed at Sam, but he just looked down at his lap, pulling his leg closer to his chest.

"Sweetie," I said to Xavier, stroking his damp hair. "What's the matter?"

He just sniffled at me, pressing his face closer to my neck. He'd always loved to hide his face in my neck when he was little. I rubbed his back, trying to comfort him some, but he just ended up pulling away. He mumbled a 'sorry' but before he could move away any further, I caught him and pulled him back. He wouldn't look at me until I tilted his head up by his chin. I carefully traced the cut on his cheek, but it didn't bother him.

"Tell me what happened," I prodded him.

So he did. He explained, very vaguely, everything until I gave him a look and he got into more detail. He sat in between Sam and me on the couch and Sam, curled up, held his hand. It made him jumpy and fretful having to recount the accident, but Sam stroked his hair off his forehead and that seemed to calm him some. Just touching Sam made him remarkably less anxious and skittish. That was probably the reason he was anxious in public since he couldn't exactly hold hands with Sam. They were both tentative to show affection around people other their friends and family, so they just saved the extra special touches and kisses for when they were alone.

"Why don't you get some tea?" Sam proposed to him, brushing his knuckle over Zay's jaw.

Xavier nodded, his face flushed and his hair falling in his face. Sam and I both watched him until he was gone. Sam let out a hard breath, dropping his head into his hands.

"You and me both," I quoted him and leaned back in the couch, crossing my arms over my chest.

**FYI: I think this chapter fails, except for the end part with Sam and Xavier. Bleh.**


	31. Snap

_Rebecca_

I sat on the sand behind mine and Saul's house, watching the ocean. It was close to sunset, but that wasn't what caught my eye down two houses.

Tom was standing in the surf up to his calves in water. He didn't have on a shirt, and he had his arms cross over his chest. Their screen door slapped against the doorframe on their screened in porch, and Danny stepped out onto the sand. He had on a grey long-sleeved shirt and loose pajama pants. He called out to Tom, but the roaring of the waves was too loud. He looked down at the sand, the muscles in his legs flexing as he curled his toes into the soft substance underneath him. He let out a big breath and walked closer to Tom. The water hit his legs and Tom jumped when Danny touched his back. Danny turned him around to face him, and Tom buried his face in Danny's shoulder. Danny rubbed his back, pulling back to say something. Tom straightened and Danny pulled his shirt off over his head, mussing his hair. He tugged in on over Tom's head, ruffling his hair, and it looked several sizes too big for his smaller husband.

It made my heart clench when Tom started crying, his entire body shaking with pained sobs. He pressed the too long sleeves of the shirt to his eyes, and when Danny pulled them away they were spotted with dark, wet splotches. Danny cradled Tom's face, now flushed and wet, in his hands, stroking his cheeks with the pads of his thumbs. He left a soft kiss on Tom's forehead, making my heart swell. I knew Tom had a hard time with things, but I obviously didn't know exactly how bad it was.

Danny coaxed Tom inside and though I could see Danny's mouth moving I couldn't hear what he was saying. He was probably soothing his distressed husband, telling him everything was okay and that he was safe. I'd overheard this mantra coming from Danny to Tom once when he again found him outside. The ocean must have something that calmed Tom down at least for a moment.

I sighed; wishing that just for a moment life wouldn't be so hard.

***

_Xavier_

I lay on the couch, my head in Sam's lap. My eyes started to close as Sam ran his fingers through my hair. He'd come back from a dance class that he taught and had immediately dropped his stuff to hold me. I was still so shaken up from my car crash. It scared the shit out of me, and I think I've officially lost it. Sam's fingertips brushed over the scabbing cut on my cheek, and I sniffed.

"Shhh." He smoothed my hair back, and I closed my eyes to try and hold myself together.

He talked so soothingly to me, telling me it was okay and that if I needed to cry I was allowed to. He'd taken off from school like I was doing just to be with me. He taught (and occasionally took) dance classes at a local dance studio, and I would sometimes go just to watch him and get some form of calming therapy without having to talk to anyone. I vaguely noticed my parents and my sister walk through the family room, but I paid them no mind. I watched Sam as he spoke to me, his soft voice that was even and incredibly comforting, and he stroked my cheek, temple, or forehead with the soft pad of his thumb. I sat up, curling up against Sam's side. He was so good to me, but I knew he loved to dote on me and take care of me. It was just his nature.

I looked up at Nicole when she walked in. She didn't look happy.

"Mom and Dad want me to tell you to… God, I can't do this. This just makes me so angry. They want you guys to stop 'canoodling.' Their words not mine," Nicole muttered.

"'Canoodling?'" Sam asked, raising his eyebrows.

I'd had enough. They'd started to get over my being gay, but this was just too far. I pushed off the couch, limping slightly since I'd hurt my leg in the accident, but made my way into the kitchen. My mom and dad were standing in there, drinking a glass of wine each, and looked at me when I came in. Sam and Nicole had practically run after me. They flanked me, but they couldn't stop me. I was _pissed_.

"I want to tell you two something," I said, spitting the words out. "Just because I love someone of the same sex, does not mean that I deserve to be told to stop "canoodling" with them. Sam is my boyfriend, and you _never_ told Nicole or Leroy or Aaron to stop hugging or snuggling or, God forbid, kissing their boyfriends or girlfriends. Honestly! You didn't even tell Danny that and he's just as gay as I am! The way you treat me is disgusting. I can't stand to even come home for the weekends because I'm afraid that you will say something to me about being with Sam. I'm terrified to bring him over because I do _not_ want either of you to say something to him. If you have a problem with us, you bring it up with me and leave him _out of it_. He is not the problem, and apparently I am."

My parents just gaped at me. The door opened and shut, and Leroy and Aaron came in. They froze where they were and Nicole 'shh'ed them.

"I love Sam, and he deserves so much better than this. But somehow, he's chosen me and will not give me up. I know he loves me, and I can see it. My siblings can see it, and they love to see him treat me how they want me to be treated. I know you hated to see me heartbroken and physically in pain after one of my relationships before, but you don't seem to care anymore that I have someone that actually _loves me_. Heaven forbid I have someone who cares for me, and wants what's best for me. I have what you two have, but just in a different way. I hope you can accept that sometime, but until then I hope you enjoy this huge house without me in it."

I turned away and Sam was watching me. I remembered something then and turned around to face my shocked parents.

"Oh, one more thing. I had sex with Sam. Yeah. In my bed; here in this house. No one was home, because you were all in Atlanta. So, you're "little boy" isn't a virgin anymore, and I'm glad because I love Sam so much more because we can share that time together. So, that's one more thing for you to think about."

I turned around for good now, walking away. I pushed through my siblings as tears threatened in the corners of my eyes. I grabbed my duffle bag and slammed the door behind me. Once I was at my truck (still dented and scratched up since my parents hadn't "gotten around to getting it fixed"), I heard the door open and shut again. Sam stood on the porch, his bags over his shoulder and Sperry's in his other hand. I nodded towards the truck as tears started to fall, and he ran down the steps and over to me. I tossed my duffle bag into the bed and Sam did the same. I started the truck and pulled out of the driveway. My siblings ran out of the house and onto the porch to catch us but I was already putting the truck in gear. Of course my parents didn't follow me. They couldn't care less.

Sam didn't ask where I was going, but I'm sure he knew once we crossed the border into South Carolina a few hours later. He pulled his legs up onto the seat in front of him, wrapping his arms around them and resting his chin on his knees. I'd stopped crying a while ago, and now I just felt hollow and hurt. Sam closed his eyes, and I realized he looked very tired.

"You can lay down it you want," I told him, my grip on the steering wheel loosening when I felt him just slide a little closer to me.

"I'm fine," he assured me, laying his head on my arm.

It was late by the time we pulled into Danny and Tom's driveway. We'd called and told them we were coming, so when they heard my truck outside they came out onto their porch to meet us. Sam was exhausted by now, almost unable to keep his eyes open, and I grabbed his bags for him so he wouldn't have to carry them. Danny opened the front door for us and Tom followed Sam in. Sam has had bad insomnia lately since his parents were getting divorced, but once we lay down together he was asleep. But it was me that couldn't sleep tonight. At around one, I got up, turning off the TV I'd been watching, and made my way downstairs. Tom was up, sitting on the couch with his legs tucked underneath him. The TV cast a changing glow over him, and he blinked tiredly as he watched the Food Network.

"Can't sleep?" He asked me when I sat down next to him.

"No," I sighed, rubbing at my throbbing forehead.

"Your . . . siblings called Danny and told him all about what happened. I'm really sorry," he mumbled.

He was just as shy as I was, but he was good company.

"Yeah," I sighed again. "I was just so _mad_."

He nodded. "I understand. My dad recently just up and left my mom and I've been so pissed at him ever since."

I nodded, falling quiet. We both got tired eventually, going upstairs to crawl in bed with our significant others.

---

"I'm so glad you let them have it, Zay! It was the most kick-ass thing I've ever witnessed! Especially from you!" Aaron said from the phone that sat in the little circle Sam, Danny, Tom, and I had made around the kitchen table.

"It was not kick-ass. I feel terrible," I moaned, and Sam rubbed my back.

He looked a lot better, more rested, and somehow healthier.

"Zay, sweetheart, Mom and Dad have been _so horrible_ to you. It's not even funny," Nicole told me.

All my siblings (except for Danny of course) were at Nicole's house while Kyle was at work or whatever.

"Alright, you guys, we've been on the phone for almost an hour and all we've accomplished is that Aaron thinks he wants Cocoa Puffs for breakfast and Xavier letting Mom and Dad have it was, and I quote, "kick-ass." Nicole agrees with him…somewhat, on Mom and Dad not Cocoa Puffs," Danny said, losing patience.

Tom slipped his fingers in between Danny's but his arm was tense for a moment as if he expected Danny to pull away. Danny didn't, instead squeezed Tom's hand thankfully. Sam laid his hand on my leg underneath the table, rubbing soothingly. I swallowed and Sam leaned closer to me, knocking my knee with his playfully. He smiled at me and I smiled back, kissing him softly.

"I think Zay and Sam lost interest. They're about to start making out right here at the kitchen table," Danny teased.

I pulled away from Sam momentarily to glare at my brother, but Danny just grinned at me.

Nicole laughed on the other line. "That must mean he's feeling better because I haven't seen them kiss like that since before his accident."

"Shut up, Nicole," I snarled, but smiled anyway.

Leroy had been very quiet, but I didn't except anything more from him. He was a quiet person, more so than Tom and I. Tom and I were shy, Leroy was soft-spoken and would rather just draw or paint or take pictures than talk. He wasn't afraid to be embarrassed and that's where he differed from Tom and me.

Sam leaned back in his chair, stretching out his legs. He had on a pair of his stretchy dance pants (that he'd been wearing yesterday _and_ slept in) that he loved to wear all the time. He often wore them to his classes at school with just an old T-shirt if he wasn't feeling good or if he was just too lazy to put on something else. He often went to class straight from dance class or teaching a class or vice versa.

"Well, Tom and I have to get to the store, so we're going," Danny said.

There were good-bye's and I love you's from the phone as we prepared to hang up. Danny sat the phone back on the dock behind him and sighed loudly.

"Those phone calls always tire me out," he joked.

I smiled a little. "How do you think I feel?"

"Oh, God, Zay. I'm so sorry. You two are, obviously, welcome to stay here while Tom and I go to the bookstore, but you could also come with us if you wanted," he told us, shifting to stand.

We both nodded, and when Tom and Danny stood to go get dressed and ready to go into town we stayed where we were. Sam yawned and reached over to carefully trace the scabbing cut on my forehead. I winced only slightly.

"Sorry," he said, and pulled his hand away. I caught it and kissed his palm, making him smile.

"Don't be."

---

We spent the day there, going to see the bookstore for a little, before we decided to go back since Sam had a dance class to teach late this afternoon. Danny hugged me, squeezing me so tight, and it gave me a sense of security.

"Don't go back home until you're ready, sweetheart. You don't have too. Don't let Mom and Dad pressure you to come back. Don't be afraid to butt heads with them," he told me, and I nodded.

He kissed my forehead and he rubbed my back softly before letting me go to my truck. Sam and I waved to Tom and Danny as they stood on their porch. We stayed pretty quiet on the way back home and I drove straight to the dance studio, bringing my book inside with me. It was interesting to see Sam interact with the kids (really they were pre-teens and young teenagers) that he taught. He was so sweet and gentle that I knew he was a great teacher. As the kids scattered to change shoes, he came over to me and grabbed his water bottle.

"Are you okay? You look exhausted," he wondered, letting me have a drink of his sweet tea from his water bottle.

"I'm just tired and sore, but I'm fine," I told him.

He nodded, swallowing another gulp of tea, and leaned down for a kiss. I gave it to him, and went back to my book as he tied on his tap shoes and went back over to his students. I smiled as I glanced up at him trying to show a girl with curly black hair how to do a "wing." He, obviously, was phenomenal at it but she, on the other hand, had some difficulty. Sam didn't give up and prodded her along until she practically got it. After examining her manicured nails, a blond haired girl, who looked to be about fourteen, pretty much gave me the stink eye before asking Sam a question. He looked a little taken aback and swallowed hard before opening his mouth.

"Yes, Erin, he is my boyfriend," he told her, glancing at me quickly. "But that's _very_ irrelevant."

I flushed and ducked my head back to my book.

"If you can do a pull back, then I'll answer that question," Sam said, and I looked up at him.

He had his hip stuck out to the side, his arms crossed over his chest, and his "I-don't-know-why-I-continue-to-do-this" face. But I knew he loved teaching.

"Good. May 5th will be our one year anniversary and yes, Abigail, I do love him. But! We need to get back down to business."

I smiled at him over the heads of all the kids, and he winked at me.

It was about fifteen minutes later that I glanced up to see his leant over in front of a stereo as the kids filtered out. He hit a few buttons, before something started playing. He grinned at me, and motioned for me to come over. I toed off my sneakers, and padded barefoot over to him. He was barefoot as well, having ditched his tap shoes a moment earlier. He danced with me, though I wasn't very good. He was slowly teaching me just by experience. He spun me underneath his arm and smiled widely at me. I laughed, my cheeks warming up, and kissed him. His hand pressed into the small of my back and the other came up to run through my hair. When we pulled away after a moment, both of us stiffened at a series of girlish laughs from the doorway. Sam pushed me behind him and took a step towards the door where Erin, Abigail, and their friends scurried away, squealing. He sighed heavily, and looked back at me.

"I'll be right back," he told me and made his way across the floor to the door.

I turned to look at myself in the mirrored wall and I barely recognized myself. I was flushed and my hair was mussed. I swallowed and smiled when Sam came back. He smiled back at me in the mirror, and I turned and waited for him to come over to me. His arms circled my waist and he pressed me up against the bar and mirrors. He smiled, ducking his head to kiss my neck, and I watched the door intently with my lip tight in between my teeth. No one ever came, and Sam finally pulled away to kiss me properly.

"What did you do?" I asked him once I was watching him put things back in his bag.

"I talked to their parents. They said they would do something about it. I just don't understand why my personal life is important," he grumbled while tossing his tap shoes into his bag.

"Honey, they probably have a crush on you," I told him, grinning when his eyes widened.

"Holy shit, you're probably right," he said, and made a face.

I laughed, and kissed him when he was close enough.


	32. Sleep

_Sam_

I kissed Xavier's forehead, hiking my bag higher on my shoulder, and quietly left our apartment. The dance studio that I had a key to and Ray's Diner were my homes during the nights I couldn't sleep. My parents had called a few days before Xavier's car accident to tell me they were getting a divorce. I had always seen how much my parents loved each other, and now I knew that it was all just a ploy; a lie or a façade. Since Xavier's accident, I'd been up most nights, too stressed to sleep. My body was used to staying up late since I was constantly trying to play peacekeeper between my parents and my sister. I ran on large coffees and small naps.

I walked out of our building to my car, a recent suck up gift from my parents since my old Mustang broke down. I sighed, flexing my hands on the steering wheel, and pulled out of the parking lot. I decided, as I drove into town, that I didn't want to sweat…right now. I pulled into the parking lot of Ray's Diner instead of going a few blocks further to the dance studio. I sighed, grabbed my bag, and made my way into the pretty much empty diner. The waitress that usually worked whenever I came nodded at me as I took my spot at the middle table by the window. I pulled a notebook out of my bag, clicking open a pen, as the waitress sat a mug on my table and filled it with coffee. I pulled one leg up on the booth with me and pressed my cheek against my knee as I scribbled down ideas for my dance class that Xavier had been unlucky enough to attend a few days earlier.

I had a piece of pie (apple; mine and Xavier's favorite) and brought out my iPod to listen to music while I just wrote anything that came to mind. Soon enough though, I was creating a dance routine to every song that was on my On-The-Go playlist at the moment. Even Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" got an entire routine. I could only imagine me dancing these with the love of my life. I tried hard to get him to let me teach him, but I knew his body wasn't accustomed to being pushed so hard so we took it slower than the rest of my classes. It was only occasionally that Xavier would dance with me, without getting embarrassed or flustered or exhausted. When he pulled away, I didn't press on and let him pull away and relax.

I sighed and looked over at the one chef and waitress talking behind the counter where a teenage couple sat eating a late night breakfast. I looked back down at my paper where I'd sketched a heart with mine and Xavier's initials scrawled in my pretty cursive inside. In the corner at the bottom (opposite the heart) was a hand that I'd just randomly scratched into the paper. I guess those art classes I'd been taking just to be with Xavier paid off. I leaned in, drawing two loops that came to a point at the bottom, and colored the new heart in. It rested in the creased palm of the hand and as I bit my lip I brushed my thumb over the "heart in hand." I'd read that book by Sarah Dessen, and didn't mean to steal her idea but it just looked so good and resembled so much. I sighed again, deeper this time, and sucked in an equally deep breath. My hand was shaking now that I focused after my deep breathing, and I chewed the inside of my cheek absently. Everything was different now, and I felt lost. I felt as though I'd been hit by yet another sleek, black car. I was being sent to the pavement once more, my skin scraping against the rough, hot pavement, and I was rendered helpless again. I pulled my other leg up on the booth, hugging both to my chest, and laid my pen on my notebook. Xavier had found it for me; the cover was made of recycled tire rubber.

"Do you want more coffee, honey?" The waitress asked me and I nodded, nudging my cup towards her.

"Thank you," I said as she left, and slid my coffee closer to me.

My sister loved me, but I didn't get that sense of security that someone was _always_ there from her that I got from Danny. But he wasn't _my_ brother. He was my boyfriend's brother. It was just something about the man who kissed my head and ruffled my hair even though he wasn't my brother or my father or in any way related to me. His only link to me was Xavier, but to him that was enough. I was part of the family, and I was his little brother as long as my baby would have me around. Though Xavier's cheeks flushed with what was thought to be embarrassment whenever I'd croon to him how much I loved him and how much me meant to me, he actually loved it and was just blushing from the attention he so rarely got at home. I was good for him, and I hoped he knew that. Not to be conceited or anything, but I didn't want him to have to face his parents without me. He still hadn't talked to them, purposefully ignoring their calls to the apartment and his cell phone, and I didn't want him to talk to them the way they treated him. My parents wouldn't _dream_ of doing that to us. They adored Xavier, how he was so shy but so frickin' cute. He would have _died_ having heard my sister tell me that the evening after I brought him home for the first time.

I downed the rest of my coffee, paid, and shoved my stuff in my bag before making my way out to my new Mazda Tribute. My parents really knew how to suck up, but I wasn't going to get rid of my car because 1.) my other car broke down and 2.) Xavier's truck is pretty old so he likes to be able to relax in a newer car and not worry about anything. His parents, instead of playing to get the airbag replaced and get the huge dent in the passenger side of the truck and get the glass in the driver's and passenger side windows replaced, they got the glass replaced in the windows and the airbag replaced, leaving the dent for Xavier to stress over. Why? I have no idea. They were an odd couple, and I still didn't understand them. I spoke politely to them when spoken to, and usually Xavier was there to spare me anymore conversation.

My car, well it's really a SUV but whatever, is green. Bordering on emerald but just dark enough to actually be pleasing to the eyes and a color I liked. Thank God. My baby's truck (God bless it) was black and white. He loved that thing to death, not letting me talk bad about it. I love it too since it had seen some pretty good times. I consider any time I get with Xavier good—except when something's _very _wrong. Even the times he cries because I get to hold him and show him that I'm there for him. Always. I parked in the parking lot in front one of the most important places I had the keys to—the dance studio. Since I taught there and I was very well like by the owner, I had a key to the front door and my preferred dance room. No one was there, just like always, and I was glad to finally be _alone_. My favorite routine I'd come up with was already ingrained in my brain, memorized since I loved the song. I loved my armband that could hold my iPod while I danced and even practiced basketball (but since that season was over those practices were few and far between).

Josh Turner's deep baritone, almost bass, filled my ears as I fixed my armband before putting my foot up on the bar. Feeling the familiar burn was somewhat soothing, and I knew this was one of the only things that were constant in my life. Dance would never fail me. On the other hand, my right knee would. As I went up into releve **(rell-uh-vay)**, my leg shook. I bit my lip, laying over my leg on the bar to touch my forehead to my kneecap, and tried to ignore the growing pain. I ignored that as I stretched, and then as I attempted my made-up routine. As I came down from a leap, my knee buckled and I hit the floor. I had always been in control, and now everything was going wrong and my control was slipping through my fingers. I curled up on the cool wooden floor, hugging my legs to my chest, and cried. My knee ached horribly, and I knew I should have listened to Xavier and worn my knee brace. I should have just thrown it in my bag as I was gathering things before kissing my baby good-bye as he slept peacefully in his bed. I should just keep it in there all the time. But I was being stubborn and trying to be a tough guy. Which, seeing as I was gay, was kind of hard to convince people of.

It was several minutes before I could pull myself off the floor and slowly make my way back out to my car. I popped my trunk, fishing through my first aid kit, and punctured the air pocket in my instant ice pack that I kept many of in my first aid kit. I held that on my knee as I drove home one handed, occasionally taking my hand from the ice pack to wipe my eyes with my T-shirt. I passed the neon sign that told me I still had a place to go, but I needed to go home. I was having an emotional breakdown (probably mental too) and needed the warm, comfortable atmosphere of the apartment. Xavier was, surprisingly, up when I _limped_ through the door, thanking God that our building had an elevator and that we only lived on the fifth floor. His pale hair was messy and his eyes were tired. He didn't ask where I'd been because he already had a pretty good idea. He just pointed at the couch, and gave me a quick kiss. I settled on the couch, carefully stretching my leg out to rest it out on the coffee table, and held the ice pack more firmly on my knee.

I looked up at Xavier when he came into the main/living/family room thing (whatever you want to call it) and he had several things in his arms. He set two plastic cups on the coffee table by my foot since we both hated how glass cups sweated so much. They both had dark liquids inside that bubbled and fizzed. He tossed a prescription bottle at me, and I caught it. My hands shook as I cursed the child safety lid and finally got it open. I took one of the pills from inside, downing it with what I found out was Coke. Or Pepsi, but I didn't really care. Xavier replaced my ice pack with a heating pad, finding the outlet that was so awesomely placed that I could lie on the couch and still have my heating pad, and plugged it in. He grabbed his cup and the pack of Chips Ahoy cookies before curling up beside me. I slid my arm around his shoulders, my fingers curling into the soft fabric of his T-shirt, and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you," I whispered, kissing his ear.

His cheeks flushed, and I smiled against his ear. I pulled away to look at him and he blinked his sleepy brown eyes at me. I smiled again, brushing my knuckles against his soft cheek. He bit his lip before nuzzling against my hand. I leaned in, pursing my lips against his. He attempted to kiss me back, but I pulled away before he could. He was too tired to fight me and I knew it. He just laid his head on my shoulder, yawning as we watched late night/early morning reruns of NCIS, Friends, and anything else we could fine. My knee started to feel better a little later, and I was nowhere near tired. I kissed my baby, telling him to go to sleep, and he blinked at me again. I took his glasses off, kissing his nose, and stood while pulling him up with me. I steered him towards his room, and gave the small of his back a little nudge. He stumbled forward a little, before turning to scowl adorably at me, but then kissed me. He disappeared into his dark room, yawning, and I leant in to see him curl up in his bed.


	33. Click

_Sam_

Xavier shivered, folding his long legs underneath himself in the booth across from me. I forgot they kept the diner like an ice box and wished I had brought a sweatshirt for him. I had already been up, almost out the door, when my baby had padded out of his room. He claimed he woke up really hungry since he skipped over dinner the night before and wanted to go to Ray's with me. I had agreed, tentatively since he looked exhausted, but waited for him to find his shoes and follow me out.

My eyes flickered over his thin waist as he raised his arms to stretch out his back and yawned simultaneously. We'd kind of switched roles. He used to be a bit bigger than I was (only by a few pounds) but then he'd dropped several pounds as I gained muscle when basketball season started. I was "curvier," if you want to put it that way, than him now. He was thinner from everything that had happened with his accident and his parents because they were making him depressed. When I was depressed, I ate. A lot. When he's depressed, he can't even look at food. Anyway, since I gained muscle and dance had contributed to that as well, my waist was thinner and my hips and thighs were a lot bigger. I had curves, as awkward as that sounds. Guys are supposed to be "flat" so to speak, but not me. I was proud too, don't get me wrong.

I also brought my legs up into the booth with me, mimicking Xavier's stance. He looked miserable, so tired, and he kept rubbing at his forehead and squinting. I tilted my head to the side, watching him. He bit his lip when he noticed me looking.

"Something wrong, babe?" I asked him, but he shook his head quickly. Too quickly.

I dug in my bag for a second, before sliding a bottle of Tylenol over to him. He blinked momentarily before taking two of the pills. He nudged the bottle back over to me, and I put it back in my bag. He stopped rubbing his temples after a few minutes, and I was satisfied he wasn't in pain anymore. I was glad to see him actually eat substantial food, even if it was one in the morning. He dug into his waffle like nobody business, and I could help but smile at how hilarious this looked. He never ate like that because almost anything he ate upset his stomach so he refrained from big meals and stuck to snacks. I focused back on my food, my mind shifting to my now broken family. I'd tried so hard to keep everything under control and try to fix this, but I'd failed. I shifted to pull one of my legs to my chest, and pressed my cheek to my knee.

"Sammy?" I looked up to see my baby watching me with big, concerned brown eyes.

"What?" I muttered.

"You're upset."

"No I'm not."

"Yes, you are. You only pull your legs up to your chest like that when you're upset."

Damn it.

"Don't think about your parents. You can't help it, sweetheart. You tried so hard, but you just couldn't do anything. I'm so sorry that they're doing this to you but please, for me, don't blame yourself."

I looked back down at my plate—my half eaten waffle and my bacon completely gone—and swallowed against the lump in my throat. I didn't see Xavier move, but when he pressed against my side I slid further into the booth. He curled his arm around my shoulders, and I laid my head on his shoulder. His body was warm pressed against mine, and I was just glad for the heavy warmth that told me he was there. Always.

We went back home after a few hours there talking and wasting the night away. I lay on the couch with Xavier, letting him doze on my chest. He still had that heavy weight that oozed warmth and it made me feel complete to have him so close. I couldn't imagine not having him around, he was my baby (as much as he'd flush from embarrassment from me saying that, he was and always would be) and my life would have been so unappealing without him in it. I stroked his hair, ruffling it successfully, and pursed my lips against his forehead. A smile flickered across his face in his sleep, but it was gone just as fast as it had come. His fingers dug slightly into the fabric of my T-shirt at my waist, and they continued to curl and uncurl against my waist. I vaguely wondered if Xavier was awake, but when a heavy wave of exhaustion crashed over me I decided I didn't care. When I shifted carefully, Xavier didn't stir and just swallowed while I stiffly reached for a blanket. Once we were covered up, it was easier for my eyes to fall closed and for my mind drift into the easier world of unconsciousness.

I jerked awake, sitting up so fast I got a wicked head rush, and felt horribly disoriented. Xavier was bent over next to me, frozen from trying to get up without disturbing me, and looked at me carefully.

"Is everything alright, baby? I didn't mean to scare you," he murmured, pressing his knee back into the couch to lean closer to me. He stroked my hair away from my face, and I realized I was shaking.

"Shhh," Xavier said, leaning forward to kiss my forehead. "What's the matter?"

I couldn't find my voice and just whimpered pitifully, staring up at my boyfriend.

"Lay back down." Xavier pressed on my shoulder, pushing me back onto our couch. He bent down as he stood, kissing me softly, before standing up fully. "I'll be right back. I have to pee really bad."

He wasn't lying and he was back quickly. I'd taken several deep breaths, and wasn't disoriented any longer. I knew where I was, who I was with, and that I was safe. Xavier made me sit up, settling behind me so he could hold me, and I closed my eyes against his endless kisses. His lips were warm and soft against my forehead and he raked his fingers through my hair. I struggled to keep my eyes open, which was odd since I hadn't slept during the night in weeks, but Xavier's soft voice and gentle ministrations were quickly putting me to sleep.

"Shhh," he said again, kissing my ear when I laid my head to the side on his chest. I could hear his heartbeat—slow, steady, and constant. "Just sleep, baby."

He smoothed my hair off my forehead, leaving yet another comforting kiss there. I felt him reach for something off the coffee table, but I couldn't care less and just let sleep claim me one more time.

---

_Xavier_

I stroked Sam's back as he slept, and was glad he was finally sleeping longer than an hour. I called my voicemail and checked my messages while Sam used me as a pillow. I curled my lip in distaste when I found my mom had left me _multiple_ voicemails.

"_Xavier, it's Mom. Your father and I want to talk to you about your . . . outburst last week—"_

**[Click]**

I deleted that one so fast I didn't even realize it until the next one started.

"_Xavier—"_

It always started out with my full name. Danny had come up with my nickname, and my siblings called me that more than my parents. I don't even think my parents knew I had a nickname.

"_We're worried about you. You haven't returned any of our calls and we need to talk—"_

**[Click]**

I sighed, settling in more comfortably to listen to my _full_ mailbox. The next one was from my dad.

"_Son—"_

**[Click]**

I shook my head, and pressed the phone closer to my ear.

"_Xavier, honey, we _really _need to talk . . . about Sam."_

I scoffed and then . . . **[Click]**

"_Zay, it's Aaron. I heard mom leaving you that message that you needed to talk about Sam. Don't listen to her, because right now she doesn't know what's good for you. Only you know that. Nicole, Leroy, Danny, and I are all trying to get her to just stop this and think about how happy you are and blah blah blah. But seriously, we're fighting for you. I love you, bro. Be good."_

I smiled a little. My siblings were always standing up and fighting for me. Next.

"_I wish you slept with your phone closer, but since that's not the case I'll just leave you this message. It's . . . two A.M. and I'm at the dance studio. I just wanted to let you know in case you woke up and I wasn't there. Ummm, I'm sorry I don't sleep at night anymore and I can't sleep with you. I know how much you love that. I'm rambling now, and I'm sorry but I guess I needed someone to talk to. I love you so much, baby, and I can't wait to come back home and see you . . ."_

I smiled wider, surprised I didn't hear this one before. I saved it, and left a kiss on the crown of Sam's head.

"_Xavier, you need to come home. We need to talk about everything you said last week, and we need to talk about it now. This can't go on forever."_

**[Click]**

I took a deep breath but watched Sam as he shifted to turn over and elbowed me in the stomach. I tried not to moan and cough, and waited until he was settled down again. I smiled, also trying not to laugh, and stroked his hair away from his relaxed face. He looked so peaceful and content and that soothed me somewhat.

I stayed up for the rest of the night, my body to overly exhausted to sleep any more, and carefully slipped from behind Sam. I left him with my sweatshirt folded underneath his head while I retrieved one of my pillows. He didn't even stir when I tugged the sweatshirt away and replaced it with my pillow. He curled up, nuzzling against the soft feather pillow, and I leant down to kiss his forehead. Smoothing his hair off his forehead, I watched him swallow contentedly and relax further onto the couch. I fixed his blanket, and kissed his forehead one more time before standing up.

---

_Sam_

I sat up incredibly fast that I got _yet another_ head rush. I flopped back down onto my little bed.

"Baby?"

I looked up, my head still spinning, at Xavier when he walked in.

"Are you okay?" He asked, and I nodded as everything stopped moving and I could think straight.

"Yeah." I rubbed at my face, sitting up a lot slower. Xavier leaned down, and I gave him a kiss.

"Another head rush?" He asked, smiling mockingly.

I scowled at him, but he just settled himself in my lap. I pulled him against my chest, kissing him more firmly, and he moaned softly against my mouth. He smiled as he pulled away, and nuzzled against my chest. We fell haphazardly on the couch and each other, my hand fumbling for the remote. We stretched out on the couch, watching _The Birdcage_. I lay behind Xavier on the couch, spooning him, and nuzzled against his neck. He squirmed a little, since it tickled, and I smiled.


	34. Boys

_Xavier_

I looked up from my book I was reading, when the end of the bed sunk. Sam smirked at me, moving across the bed towards me. I bit my lip, closing my book, and smiled when he dragged the sheet away from me with his teeth. I'd just taken a (late night) shower, and I was incredibly hot. I'd turned my fan on high and since lying naked in bed would have been a teensy bit awkward I covered up only with a sheet. Sam smiled wider at me when he found I was apparently already ready for what he had planned. His lips found the inside of my thighs, and I shivered. He held me still with his hands on my waist and my legs fell open a little more as the sensation switched from ticklish to extremely _hot_.

"I'm sorry," Sam murmured against the soft skin. I tried not to arch up into the vibration, and gnawed on my lip.

"Why?" I gasped as his teeth sank gently into my skin.

He licked at the new bite mark, switching to my other leg. "Because. I'm pressuring you into doing this. I just—" He pressed his tongue flat against my leg, the wetness hot against the skin. "—came in here and took you like this."

He almost started to pull away, but I slid my fingers in his hair and tugged him back. He smiled and complied, suckling on the tender skin of my thigh. I laid my head back on the pillows I'd been leaning on and let him take me. He moved closer to my . . . you know and I almost started to pull my leg up in pure shyness. Sam cupped his hand over my knee and shoved my leg down onto the bed. I flushed when Sam's hands slid up the outsides of my thighs and his mouth explored what his hands couldn't reach at the moment.

---

Sam kissed my forehead as I yawned, successfully sticky and hot once again, and nuzzled against my face. I smiled, giving him a kiss, and snuggled closer to his warm side. He smoothed my hair back and pressed my head onto his chest. His other hand came across his body to stroke my cheek and jaw. My glasses had been, quite roughly, thrown onto the nightstand but I didn't feel like moving to get them. I was too tired.

"I guess I worked you too hard. You're exhausted," Sam teased lightly, pursing his lips against my forehead again.

I suppressed a yawn, and brought my legs up a little more. He tilted my head up, his lips coming down on mine, and I gave over to him. I decided sleep could wait another few minutes so I could kiss my boyfriend. We sucked in little puffs of breath as our lips parted only slightly but as soon as we were re-oxygenated our lips were sealed onto the others again. But soon, Sam pressed against my chest to push me away. I didn't want to stop, but he pressed harder and pulled away. My lips pouted out to keep as much contact with his lips as possible until he pulled away entirely. He stroked my cheek with the soft pad of his thumb as I pouted at him. He smiled, and kissed my nose.

"You need to sleep, baby doll," he whispered, his lips finding my forehead.

I loved the comforting feel of his lips there. But I didn't want to sleep! Apparently Sam had other ideas, because he gently turned me over onto my side, and started rubbing my back. He knew that would put me to sleep in an instant and he obviously used that to his advantage. I tried my hardest to not give over to him, but as he whispered to me and his voice turned into a soothing murmur, I had to arch into his touch and relax enough to sleep.

***

_Danny_

Tom slid his leg over mine on the couch, and I rubbed his knee. He watched my hand, smiling, and then looked up at me. I leaned over, kissing his cheek, and he blushed. He laid his head over on my shoulder, nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck, and I sighed contentedly. I smiled and felt him shift impossibly closer. He thrived on contact with me, and I just loved to hold him all the time. I rubbed his shoulder, the material of his grey on dark grey baseball henley tee bunching as my fingers curled, and he sighed. His hand slid in between the couch and my back, his warm fingers finding the exposed skin between my shirt and my sweatpants. I stiffened somewhat, but he caught it.

"What's wrong?" He asked, sitting up and looking up at me. The too long sleeve of his shirt slipped down over his hand, but he ignored it. "And don't say 'nothing' because you _never_ do that."

I knew he was right, and he knew it too. I swallowed, my tongue coming out to run across my lips, and thought for a moment.

"Baby, you can tell me," he prodded, sensing this was hard for me.

I looked at him, and could see how concerned and worried he was that I was upset about something.

"It's just something that happened a long time ago. It's bothering me, but . . . it's . . . noth—"

I trailed off when he gave me _the_ dirtiest look I've ever seen from him.

"Danny," he started, giving me a hard look. "You're obviously skirting something that's important. So just spit it out."

"Fine," I spat. "I'm remembering the time I lost my virginity. It wasn't to Adam, but I like to think it was. There. Are you happy?"

Tom was quiet, having ducked his head when I started off angry, and didn't say anything. His other sleeve slipped down his arm and I saw his eyes flicker over to it momentarily.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, and I could tell he was upset that he'd been mean to me.

I sighed, reaching to tuck a stray lock of hair behind his ear, but he flinched away from me. He held himself incredibly still as I reached forward again, and let me tuck the hair behind his ear. I brushed my hand underneath his jaw, tilting his head up to look at me, and his grey eyes were apologetic and still worried.

"It's alright, baby. You didn't know," I told him, continuing to stroke the skin of his jaw with the pad of my thumb.

He shook his head, and looked back down. "I shouldn't have snapped at you."

I sighed heavily, bringing his legs over mine and pulling him closer. He tucked his head against my shoulder, and I brought my hand up to his face again. His breathing was shallow, and he was upset.

"Tell me the story." His voice was soft and low.

I took a deep breath, kissing his forehead.

"I was fifteen," I said, biting my lip as I formed the next part.

"_Fifteen_?" Tom asked, shocked.

I nodded and took in another breath.

"It was this boy I had a _huge_ crush on in high school. He was a senior and I was a sophomore. When he asked me to come over to his house one evening to help him study, I was ecstatic. The night went just fine, but I should have known something was up when there was _no one_ else in the house. I just figured that he was allowed to stay home alone at night, which I was _not_ allowed to do. We'd been on his bed, and he kissed me first. The books were shoved to the floor and I let him take me. He wasn't gentle and I'm pretty sure he caused some damage. I was sore for a week. He was a little nicer than I thought he would have been about it after, but I was so distraught that I totally ignored him. But the kicker was that he told me, _after_, that he had an ex-boyfriend that had AIDS and he wasn't sure if he had it or not. The second kicker was that we hadn't used a condom or anything. _Nothing_. That's when I left.

When I got home at like ten or eleven, Xavier, God bless him, had persuaded my parents to let him stay up until I got home. I was sobbing by the time I got home and Xavier was the one who opened the door. He was so upset that Nicole had to come get him and take him to bed. He fought her like no other, and my dad had to help her. I told my parents, obviously, and they got me tested. Thank _God_ it was negative. But to this day, Xavier will not talk about this. He refuses to talk about it because he was so scared for me and it probably emotionally scarred him forever."

I hadn't realized I was crying until Tom reached up to wipe away the few tears that leaked down my cheek and kissed my jaw. I tightened my hold on him and he nuzzled even closer.

"I'm so sorry," he mumbled, and I took in a shattered, gasping breath.

"It's not your fault, sweetie. This was a long time ago, and neither of us can do anything to change it," I said, and rubbed his arm.

"Don't comfort me because I'm worried about you, Danny. You're obviously having a rough time with this and I need to be there for you. I am here for you, and I don't want you to feel that you can't share something with me," he told me, and I looked down at him.

I kissed his forehead. "Comforting you makes me feel better, sweetheart. It's a coping thing, I guess. Knowing that someone depends on me, somewhat, makes me see the bigger picture. No matter how many times you tell me that, I'll still do it. I love to make you feel better, because when you're happy so am I."

Tom stared up at me, his grey eyes uneasy, and finally nodded. I kissed his temple, and rubbed my hand over his little waist.

"Um…" Tom trailed off.

"What, baby doll?" I asked him, smoothing his hair out of his face.

"Is that the scar that you have…?"

I smiled, stroking his cheek. "Yes, sweetheart, that's where I got that. Thank God I can't see it though."

He didn't say anything else for a minute, laying his head on my shoulder.

"Is that why you like being on top more?" He asked tentatively.

"I'm not sure. It probably contributes more than I know, but it's probably just seeing you underneath me that is just so _hot_ I wouldn't want it any other way," I said, and grinned when he made a face.

"I was being serious," he muttered.

"I was too. But, why? Do you want to switch it up a little more? We can, if you want to."

His cheeks turned pink, but he still stared at me as if daring me to make another bad joke.

"So I'm going to take that as a yes. Well, we can start now if you want. Take turns. Just like when we were little. Except," I leaned in towards his ear, making sure my breath hit his neck and face. "A lot hotter and sexier."

He shivered, and I smiled. I kissed his ear, tracing my tongue from the lobe of his ear down his jaw. I pulled away, seeing him shudder, and smiled as his excitement grew. He peered up at me; his pupils dilated with lust, and leant up to kiss me. I held onto him, making sure our lips didn't part, and shoved the coffee table away with my feet. We slipped from the couch, and I stretched out on my back. Though I expected him to be shy again like last time, Tom took charge. He was almost made for this part since he was part soldier, and I was glad this was happening. He was a lot gentler than the first time, since he knew I wasn't accustomed to this. Our clothes were tossed to the couch and I can happily tell you that this time was a lot better than the first.


	35. Shop

_Tom_

Danny emerged from the bathroom, his skin damp and a towel riding low on his hips, and the music from his iPod leaked into the room. I pulled an undershirt on and reached for my button down shirt on the bed as he dug through his drawers. I started to pull my shirt on and jumped when I felt warm, strong arms wrap around my waist. I continued to tug my shirt on, which was hard with someone hanging onto your waist (especially if that person's almost a foot taller than you), but I eventually got it. I shivered when Danny's fingers found the outline of my 'V' underneath my shirts and left a kiss on my neck. He pulled away, and I spun around and smacked his ass. He yelped, turning to glare at me, but when I feigned innocence and looked at the ceiling he grinned, leaning in to kiss me.

"Get dressed. The mall's gonna close before we get there," I teased, feeling the muscles on his sides.

Danny looked over me at the clock on the nightstand, he then scowled at me. "It's not even open yet."

I grinned, and leant up to kiss him. He pulled his head away, and I caught his jaw. He smirked at me, and it was my turn to scowl. He turned away from me, pulling out an incredibly old looking T-shirt out of his drawer. He tossed it onto the bed and bent down to dig through another drawer. He tugged a pair of shorts out of the drawer, and stood up. He laid them on the bed and I continued to watch him, immersed in his movements. He came up with a pair of boxers, and dropped his towel. I bit my lip as I watched him and with his boxers halfway up his thighs he noticed me.

"Something wrong?" He asked, tugging his boxers the rest of the way up. I shook my head, settling on the bed. He smiled, coming over to the bed to get his shorts. "You just like to watch me?"

I nodded, and he smiled wider, leaning down to kiss me. I gasped when he pushed me back onto the bed and his hand found my crotch. I started to pull my legs up, but his other hand stopped me. He pulled away from the kiss, his lips finding my neck.

"And why is that?" He asked me, and I tried not to squirm.

It took me a little to form an answer, since I was hyperaware of where his right hand was. But he didn't give me enough time to spit it out and his teeth sank into my neck, his hand pressing harder against my quickly growing erection. I ground my teeth together, trying to fight the urge to rock into his hand because I secretly had a thing for biting and licking. It was just so _hot_.

He smiled against my neck, pressing his tongue flat against the new bite mark, and jumped off of me. I just lay on the bed, my chest heaving with my labored breathing, and watched him shimmy into his shorts. Once he put his T-shirt on, he leant over me, concerned now.

"Sweetie, did I hurt you?" He touched my cheek, and I looked up at him.

"No," I told him, taking a deep breath. "I'm just trying to recover."

He smiled, kissing my forehead, and I sat up once he straightened. He smoothed my still slightly damp hair off my forehead and smiled wider.

---

I laid my head back, bonking it on the wall behind me, as I waited for Danny. He'd _insisted_ I sit outside so I could be "surprised." I'd humored him, settling in a chair on the other side of the dressing room door. I tugged on the hem of my light green button down shirt, aware of the group of teenagers watching me a few yards away from me. I crossed my legs, picking at the purposely frayed hem of my shorts, and ducked my head. I saw the faint scar on my knee that I remember getting seven years ago.

_I'd come home from overseas in December of 2003 and it was early April. My unit was in a bar (even though I wasn't 21 yet), celebrating our homecoming almost, and I was shocked to see Danny and his brother, Aaron, though I'm sure Aaron wasn't old enough except I had no room to talk. Aaron immediately went over to a group of women that were in my unit. I sat at the bar with a beer that a friend of mine had bought for me that I hadn't touched. A few friends of mine were circled around me, hiding me from Danny who was getting hit on by the (surprisingly) large number of gay men I worked with. But when my friends filtered to the pool tables, Danny spotted me. He sat down at the bar next to me, ordering a beer and a bourbon. He showed his I.D. before turning to me._

"_So, how have you been?" He asked._

_I'd missed him so badly while I was gone and, though I didn't show it, I wanted to throw myself at him._

"_Good, I got back in December and I got dragged here against my will."_

_He laughed, his brown eyes sparkling with his laughter. I smiled, and wiped my sweaty palms on my fatigue pants. I saw Aaron already making out with a blonde who was especially ditzy and I wondered how her stupidity hadn't gotten her killed (there had been a few close calls)._

"_How are you?" I asked him, biting my lip._

"_I'm okay. Recently broke up with my boyfriend but, you know, those wounds heal," he said, looking at me in the dim lighting of the bar._

_I felt a sudden surge of confidence and smiled. "I was hoping you'd say that."_

_That was the first time I made love and, God, was it amazing. But I'd gotten up during the night, feeling Danny's soft fingertips trail over my back as I stood, and sliced my knee open on my pocket knife I'd used in a frustrated attempt to cut open the package of condoms. But it was a good scar, and I was glad I'd always have something to remind me of that night (though I wouldn't need any prompting anyway)._

I jerked when something snapped in front of my face. I looked up and Danny was towering over me.

"You okay?" He asked.

I nodded. "Just spaced out."

He nodded, stepping back. I swallowed hard when I saw him. He had on tight, denim skinny jeans and a purple polo with the collar popped. He shifted and the jeans pulled tight across his crotch. I swallowed again, and nodded quickly.

"Yeah?" He asked, turning around.

Those pants made his ass look fucking amazing. Not just amazing. _Fucking_ amazing.

"Oh yeah."

He smiled, his eyes catching the group of teenagers, and his eyebrows furrowed. My cheeks turned pink, but Danny didn't take _anyone's_ crap for _anything_. He just rolled his eyes and walked back into the dressing room. I made sure I didn't space out, my eyes continuing to flicker to the teenagers. I sat on my hands when Danny came out again, this time in un-hemmed dark grey chino shorts and a white T-shirt with an American flag on it that said, "Today is a new day." He tugged at the T-shirt, and smiled.

"I have another T-shirt that I like better than this one, but I figured you'd like this," he said, and I smiled.

"I do like it, but I'm sure the other one's better. I like the shorts."

"I do too. The un-hemmed thing, like you've got going on, is pretty cool."

I nodded, agreeing, and watched him turn and disappear into the dressing room again.

"Last time, I promise!" He called as I waited for him.

He came out in lighter(ish) brown pants with oil and white paint splotches on them, and a dark grey T-shirt that said, "Take time to make history."

I grinned. "I love that shirt. It's so you."

He laughed, his hands finding the pockets of the pants.

"Those pants are cool. I like them on you. Very . . . destructed and you."

"I like 'em, but I just love the shirt."

I nodded again, and took the things he wanted to pay. He met me outside the store while I checked my phone. He picked up the bag at my feet and, though he really wanted to, refrained from kissing me. As the long day at the mall drew to a close, he ended up with a few more outfits and I did as well. We mostly came for Danny, since he hadn't gone shopping for new clothes since I don't know when, but he insisted on getting me things as well. I couldn't tell him no when he stole the things away from me, and practically ran away while I was still in the dressing room. This was what I had to deal with everyday. But I loved him so much, and he kept my life interesting.

I collapsed on the couch after pulling on some fleece shorts and groaned when Danny came in the family room, telling me to get up.

"Why?" I moaned, looking up at him with my most pleading look that I knew he couldn't stand.

But apparently he was dead set on getting me up.

"Because we're going out," he said simply and turned around.

His long, sure strides pulled me to follow him upstairs into our room. He was sorting through our bags, and I saw that amazing purple polo and skinny jean outfit being laid on the bed. He laid a pair of dark wash straight leg jeans that he'd picked out for me and a dark green T-shirt with a really cool graphic and foil print on the front and back. He turned back to me, and smiled.

"Are you ready?" He asked, grinning.

"No, I'll never be ready, but . . . what the hell!"


	36. Talk

_Tom_

Danny leaned down, giving me a kiss as I emerged from the bathroom, freshly showered. He sniffed absently, and then smiled.

"You smell good. What's the new scent?" He asked, smoothing his hand over my shoulder.

"Sandalwood Fig," I told him. "It's comforting and boosts confidence."

"Well, then. Getting all technical. But you do smell good. Are you sure you're not a woman?"

I scoffed. "I'm gay. I'm allowed to smell good!"

He laughed, leaning down to kiss me again. "I know, sweetheart. And I wouldn't want you any other way."

"I look like a shamrock," I said as I looked in the mirror, tugging at my T-shirt. Danny came up behind me, sliding his arms around my waist.

"No you don't, baby. You look hot and every man in that club is going to want you. They'll want to take you home and get you in their bed, but you're coming back home with me. And if you're up to it, we'll make love all night," he murmured against my neck, making me flush.

He smiled and pulled me away from the mirror. We drove my Jeep into town, and parked a few blocks from the highly recommended (from Joe and Scott) gay club/bar, Club Pantheon. We hadn't been out to a club in I couldn't remember how long, and I was a little nervous. Even as we walked in I was anxious but Danny was right at home. He was confident and though he would never do anything to hurt me he loved to be hit on. His confidence level shot up and I glad to see him so happy in the middle of all the activity. My heart pounded in my ears at the music blared from all around. Danny's hand pressed into the small of my back, pushing me forward with him. We downed a couple shots of tequila and a glass of bourbon each before we were buzzed enough to dance without feeling completely stupid.

---

I had decided a long time ago that one of us should stay sober enough to get home, and since Danny was already flirting with every good-looking man he could find I figured it was up to me. His hand was in my back pocket, pulling me along with him, but my heart wasn't in it anymore. I was getting tired of being hit on, and I wanted to go home. I sucked in a deep breath when someone pressed up against me. He was tall, but nowhere near as tall as Danny, and his hand found my waist. Danny's hand had slipped from my pocket as he talked to a boy younger than me. I tried to pull away, but he was stronger than I thought. I knew I could have easily taken him down, from all my Army training, but this wasn't the time or place.

My patience was wearing thin, so I finally pulled away from the guy who was trying to pursue me, and grabbed Danny by the arm. Even in his (somewhat) drunken state, he knew something was wrong and not to piss me off further. He let me drag him outside to our car, and I opened his door for him. He'd "sobered" up quickly when he noticed that I was unhappy, and was quiet the entire time we drove home. I blew off steam as the warm wind whipped through the car. I could tell Danny didn't feel good, and was glad I'd gotten us out of there when I did because as soon as we got home and I peeled off my shirt and jeans, helping Danny with his, his stomach got very upset.

I sat perched on the counter in the bathroom while he sat on the floor with a wet washcloth pressed to his face. He hadn't thrown up yet, but I could sense it was coming. As if to prove me right, he lurched forward just as I jumped off the counter. He was always so pitiful when he was sick, but being so tall and thick it was hard for him to properly curl up against me. I kneeled next to him, seeing how hard his fingers dug into the washcloth, and reached to stroke his hand.

"Sweetie, give me the washcloth," I prodded him, my hand touching his sweaty back.

He let me, the strong muscles in his back locking up as another wave of nausea washed over him. I wet the washcloth more, pressing it to his hot forehead, and rubbed his back. He was always taking care of me, so it felt somewhat good to show him some TLC (not that I wanted him to be sick); though that sounds awkwardly feminine. I offered Danny my hand, letting him hold onto it, and he eagerly accepted it. I felt so sorry for him, and wished he wasn't in so much pain.

It wasn't until maybe 1:30 that I got him into the bed, which meant we'd been in the bathroom for an hour and a half. He was crying, which made my job even harder because it broke my heart to see him cry, but I got him into our bed while I retrieved the trash can to sit by the bed. Just in case. My patience almost never wore thin with Danny, especially while he was sick, and this time was no exception. I sat up all night with him, letting him lay his head in my lap, and rubbed his back while he continued to throw up during the night (or morning, right now I didn't really care).

By the time he was (finally) unable to throw up anymore, he fell asleep, albeit wasn't a deep sleep, but I was able to relax for a moment. Danny was curled up against my legs, his head resting on my thigh, and I stroked his hair calmingly, hoping he stayed asleep for a while. I didn't know how this bookstore thing was going to work out. We didn't have a whole ton of money to use on this, and it was stressful. I rubbed my hand down my face, and laid my head back to bonk against the headboard. This was _awesome_.

I must have dozed off because when Danny shifted, I jerked. Danny stared at me, half off the bed, and I stared back.

"Morning," he said, standing up fully.

I was incredibly sweaty and I felt super crappy, but life still goes on, I guess. Danny pulled on a T-shirt, kneading his forehead as he walked into the bathroom. He came back out a few minutes later, swallowing something. I took to the bathroom next, suddenly feeling nauseous, and sat on the floor.

"Tommy?" I heard Danny call, his voice getting closer to the door.

I looked up when he pushed open the door tentatively. He looked a little shocked, but kneeled beside me to touch my cheek.

"Are you all right? Are you gonna throw up?" He asked me, smoothing my hair back.

I just took a shaky, shattered breath, and put my head between my knees. Danny stroked his fingertips down my back, kissing my head very gently. Nothing seemed to help except when my stomach finally decided it'd had enough. Danny was quick to react, something he probably picked up from me and my Army tactics even if you weren't technically up to par, and stroked my hair off my forehead. He wet a washcloth, the cloth that I used last night for him, and pressed it to my neck and forehead.

When my stomach decided, "Hey, I'll stop causing you pain and distress," Danny collected me into his arms, folding himself around me protectively. He was always protective of me of things that could and could not hurt me; it was his instinct when it came to me. I clutched the washcloth he let me have, pressing it to my face, and tucked myself against Danny's broad chest. He hushed me, his voice soft and gentle, and brushed his lips over my forehead. It wasn't long until I composed myself, wiping my entire face off with the cloth, and sniffled.

"What happened last night?" Danny asked me, rubbing my side and arm.

"Well, I brought you home and then you threw up—a lot. But anyway, I stayed up with you, while you continued to throw up—a lot—and then I guess I dozed off because then you moved to get up and I woke up. I'm surprised you're not dehydrated, I should have gotten you some ginger ale or something—" I was cut off by his soft fingertips on my lips.

"Shhh, you're the one that's sick now, honey. I'm fine. I got something to drink downstairs before I came to find you. You're the one who needs the taking care of right this minute," he told me, his fingers still on my lips.

I pursed my lips against his fingers, smiling when he laughed.

***

_Sam_

A dull, ache throbbed through my leg, resonating from my knee. I groaned, laying my head back on the arm of the couch. I jumped when the door opened, but relaxed when it was just Xavier. He looked at me, concerned, and walked over whilst dropping his bag. He leant over me, smoothing my hair off my forehead, and left a kiss there. His lips were warm against my skin, and I closed my eyes.

"Do you need anything?" He asked me, his thumb brushing my cheek.

"No. Thanks though, babe. I think I'm good," I said, my hand going to my knee instinctively.

He nodded, standing back up, and moved towards the kitchen. "I talked to my mom today. She really wants to talk to both of us; because she and my dad know they're wrong. Finally."

"That's great, sweetheart," I told him, letting out a deep breath.

That evening, we drove to his parents' house. I fidgeted in the seat next to him in his truck, wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans. Xavier reached over, smoothing his hand over mine, and twined our fingers together.

"It'll be fine, baby. I promise," he soothed me, leaning over quickly to kiss me.


	37. Early

_Xavier_

And it was. It was perfectly fine. It was fantastic.

But that was two years ago. Believe it or not.

In the last two years, Leroy and Aaron had both gotten married, leaving me as the last Smith to marry. But I still loved Sam so much. He'd turned twenty-one on April first, and I would turn the same age in August. None of my siblings or I had been home in a few weeks, so my parents (with their giant pool) had us over with our significant others. Sam and I arrived early, my parents greeting us both with hugs and kisses (I was very glad about this one), and so we sat on the couch in front of the TV and played Guitar Hero.

It wasn't long until the rest of my siblings started arriving, and I was glad to see them again. Danny, having turned thirty-one (holy shit) a few months ago, was still loving being in love with Tom, nuzzling his husband's neck as they sat on a lounge chair by the pool. Nicole looked tired when she and Kyle walked in with their triplets (yes, triplets. Apparently multiples ran in Kyle's family. Whoop-dee-do).

I was practically assaulted by Bethany, my knees being knocked by her throwing herself at my legs. I smiled, laughing as Sam narrowly escaped his bad knee being slammed by Alexandra (Alex) like mine had, and I picked Beth up. The meekest of the three, Emilee, stood by her mother, her fingers curled into Nicole's shorts, as she sucked on her two fingers. I passed Beth to my mother, going over to Emilee, and knelt down in front of my niece. She was named after my other niece that she never got to meet. I smiled at her, and she grinned at me around her fingers, throwing her arms around my neck. I laughed, and Nicole smoothed her fingers over my hair before I stood up.

I smiled at my sister, leaning in to kiss her cheek. She touched my cheek, brushing her thumb over it. She'd gotten very mother-y to me since she had the girls and everything that had happened with my parents those two years ago.

"How've you been, Zay?" She asked, her voice soothing and tired at the time.

"I've been great, Nicky. Life's finally being good to me," I said, then was joking.

She smiled. "You deserve every minute of it, sweetheart. Don't think otherwise. How was Sam's recital?"

"Oh, it was beautiful. Absolutely amazing. He's so talented," I gushed, excited to be talking about my boyfriend. It's been _three years_. I was so ecstatic to have him with me still.

Emilee squirmed out of my arms when Danny and Tom stepped into the house, their faces flushed from the heat. I let her go, and watched as Danny immediately crouched down when she came over to him. Tom smoothed his hand over Danny's hair, the curls short since he got a haircut, and stepped around him to talk with my parents. Aaron and Leroy came a little later with their wives, and I greeted them happily.

It was about noon when Danny pulled me out into the hot sun. He picked me up (I know) and I fought him as he lugged me to the pool. He threw me in, and I sucked water into my nose. When I pushed off the bottom, coming back up, Danny was laughing.

"Fuck you," I snarled, trying to find my glasses and expel the water from my sinuses.

I found my glasses, making Danny put them on the patio table since he threw me in, and threw my soaking wet T-shirt at him. It hit him, his back tensing at the shock of wet on his back, and he turned around as the shirt fell to the concrete. I grinned, floating on my back and laughing as he made a face. He peeled his T-shirt off, making an 'ick' sound as he tossed it onto mine. Tom stepped out of the house, smiling at his now shirtless husband.

"Why are we suddenly shirtless?" He asked, grinning.

"Because," Danny retorted, pulling Tom into his arms. "My little brother decided to throw his soaking wet T-shirt at me."

"You threw me in the pool," I told him, back stroking a little bit.

Danny grimaced at me, his hand tightening on Tom's waist, but it looked like he was actually hurting about something. I hauled myself out of the pool, coming over as he made Tom sit down.

"Danny?" I asked, touching his back. "Is something wrong?"

Tom pulled his legs up in the chair with him, hugging them to his chest. Danny stroked his hair, and Tom leaned closer to him.

"Seeing Emilee and everything…? You know?" Danny said, looking at me.

I nodded. "I know. I understand."

"And Tom hasn't been feeling very good, but he really wanted to come swimming. So he somehow persuaded me to bring him and let him go swimming," Danny said, a smile coming onto his face as he looked down at Tom who grinned.

"What'd he do? Seduce you and make you bring him?" I teased.

Tom scoffed, reaching over to smack at me. Danny caught his hand and I sidestepped. I laughed as Tom glared at Danny. Danny just smiled, smoothing Tom's hair off his forehead, and kissed his head. Tom just pouted, making Danny laugh.

We all gathered outside at the (quite large) patio furniture for hot dogs and burgers—traditional summer party food. The radio was turned on, and Sam made me dance with him. My family all laughed at me, embarrassing me, but Sam told me not to listen to them.

"Those trips to the dance studio and our occasion trips to the gym have really been good to you," he told me, smiling as he ran his hands over my sides. I mimicked him, running my hands over his curves—his waist dipped in and then his hips and thighs, stronger because he used them for basketball and dance, almost gave him feminine curves. But he didn't look like a girl. He just looked absolutely adorable (and sexy).

"Come on, you two lovebirds, we're trying to eat," Aaron teased, but smiled genuinely.

Sam and I ate next to eat other; our legs pressed together underneath the table, but didn't have time to rest when the girls wanted to go into the pool. Kyle told them to leave us alone and that he'd get in with them. He started to lead them all to the pool, but as Emilee passed Tom and Danny who were standing near the grill she seemed to spot something on Tom's abdomen. She looked up at her father, and asked the most innocent question but it made us all freeze.

"Why does Uncle Tom have a scar?"

Kyle stopped, and looked down at Emilee who stared back up at him.

"Well," he started, looking at his two brother-in-laws.

"I had a surgery a few years back," Tom butted in, looking at Emilee. "Before you were born. But I'm fine now."

She liked this, and nodded. She continued on with her dad and sisters, at ease now that she had an answer.

I smiled, and Sam reached over to stroke my hair away from my face. I smiled at him, nuzzling against his hand. I looked over to the pool just as Danny took a running leap into the pool. I laughed as his landing made waves in the pool, rocking our nieces in the other end. Tom, after being beckoned by his husband, broke into a run, launching himself off the edge of the pool. Danny laughed, pulling Tom against his chest when he popped up, and Tom laughed with him. Danny, somehow, pushed Tom up onto the side of the pool. Tom perched himself on the edge, his legs dangling into the pool, and smiled down at Danny. I watched as Danny pulled himself, his hands on either side of Tom's legs on the concrete, out of the pool, water pouring down his back. He kissed Tom, their wet lips molding together for a moment before parting, and then he dropped back into the water. He went under and Tom stood. He dove straight into the water, his entrance barely rippling the water.

The rest of my siblings got in: Nicole going over to her family; Leroy and his new wife, Ashley, jumped in as laughed when they came back up; Aaron and Carrie, his wife, got in and Aaron splashed her, making her laugh. My parents, surprisingly, got in as well and I thanked God our pool was so enormous. Sam pulled me up from my chair after he stood, but when I apparently walked too close to the pool he pulled me back.

"I've got something for you," he told me, his cheeks flushed either from the heat or what he was about to give me.

"Okay," I said, waiting patiently for whatever he was going to give to me.

He dug in the pocket of his swim trunks (that were similar to mine) and I was nervous about what he was going to pull out. He pulled his hand out, fisted around something, but didn't open his hand at first. He reached up, stroking my cheek softly for a moment, and I saw his eyes almost fill with tears.

"Sammy, what's wrong?" I asked, starting to comfort him, but he just shook his head and smiled.

He sank down on his good knee, and my mouth went dry. I could see the rest of my family watching us from the pool. Danny and Tom had perched on the side of the pool again, and they were especially intent on watching us. I pushed my glasses up the bridge of my nose, staring down at my boyfriend again.

"Xavier, we may be young, but our love isn't any different than that of any of our family's. It may even be stronger. I want to give you forever, and I hoped that you'll accept it," he murmured, his voice soft and sweet.

I couldn't form a sentence, but I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I sniffed, swallowing hard, and choked out a laugh/sob. Sam was smiling too, tears pooling in his beautiful blue eyes.

I nodded hard, unable to make my voice work, and he smiled wider but tears still spilled over. He reached forward, taking my hand, and slid a ring onto my left ring finger. He stood up, catching my face in his soft hands, and kissed me hard. In front of all my family. I kissed him back, pulling him impossibly close, and I vaguely heard my family start talking all at once. When we finally pulled away, sucking in heavy breaths, we were both crying but they were immensely happy tears. Sam pulled my left hand up, twining our fingers, and I recognized the ring. It was a claddagh—the heart held by two hands with a crown above rested against my pale skin—and I almost started crying again. We were both part Irish and Scottish (since that's who settled down in the South) and so it definitely meant something to both of us. I hugged him again, burying my face in his shoulder, and he laughed, wiping tears off his face and rubbing my back.

My family got over the shock once I laughed and stopped crying. Leroy and Aaron clapped me on the back, Nicole hugging me, but Danny hung back. My parents were a little unsure, but when it finally set in (what it was I wasn't sure) my mom hugged me tight. It felt even better when my dad hugged me, and Sam just smiled at me when I was finally able to go back to him. His arm wound around my shoulders, and he kissed my temple. Danny finally came over, and smiled. Tom stood a few feet away, but I nodded him over. He tucked himself underneath Danny's arm and looked right at home there. Both Tom and I had gotten shorter (oddly) but I could tell neither of us minded.

It was unspoken what exactly Sam and I had now, but the only thing I knew was that I loved it. Danny leaned down, kissing my cheek, and I smiled as my cheeks flushed. He smiled, brushing his thumb over my cheek, and his arm tightened around Tom who shifted closer. After a few hours in the pool, Sam doing impressive flips (that made me cringe) off the diving board, I was curled up one of the lounge chairs as the rest of my family still played in the water. Sam, having gone into the house for something to drink, came out and leaned down in front of me. He stroked my hair away from my face, and made me sit up. He rested behind me, sitting his cup on the little table in between this chair and another, and pulled me back against his chest. I yawned as he smoothed my hair back repeatedly.

"Do you like your ring?" He asked me, fingering the silver ring around my finger.

"I love it. It's beautiful. Thank you so much," I told him, laying my head back and kissing him.

We sat in silence for a little bit before I asked, "What do we have now? Are we engaged? Married? Together forever? Or is this just a promise ring for the foreseeable future?"

Sam chuckled softly at my curiosity. "We can be whatever you want us to be, sweetheart. It's up to you."

I thought, watching Sam's long fingers slide the ring off my finger for a moment. He turned it around in his hand, kissing my head, and then spread my fingers to put it back on me. He rubbed his thumb over the warming metal, and was quiet. The crickets were coming out, their song filling the cool night air. Sam's speech that had made me bawl could have been our marriage, and it was all up to me. I didn't realize I was shaking until Sam's arms circled around me tighter, and his lips pressed to my ear.

"Shhh," he hushed me, and I felt instantly calmer.

Sam and I sat there while my family filtered out of the pool, and his body was warm behind me. Our huge house was going to accommodate all of us for a few days, but right now I wasn't tired. Sam, finally not stressed but still had occasional wave of insomnia, kissed me good night and went upstairs to my room. I curled up on the couch, my warm sleep pants comforting, and jumped when Danny cleared his throat.

"Hey," he said, leaning down to kiss my head. I looked up at him, and he smoothed my hair back. "Is everything all right?"

"Yeah, I'm just trying to think," I told him, sighing heavily.

He sat down next to me, and I lay against him, his arm winding around me.

"Let's see," he prompted, taking my left hand. I spread my fingers so he could see my ring. He smiled, and brushed his thumb over the ring. "Man, that's a rock."

I pulled my hand away, scowling. "It's not a rock."

He laughed, kissing my head, and rubbed my arm. "I know, sweetheart. But I'm so happy for you. For…whatever you have."

"I know. I'm so confused about this. Sam's left it up to me to decide what I want this to be. Fantastic," I muttered, getting upset.

"Shhh, Zay, honey. He doesn't want to pressure you into anything. He wants the most permanent connection to you that you'll allow right now, and he wants you to be comfortable. So he left you to make the decision on how far away you're going to keep him. Arm's length? A few yards? Or right up there against you? He's going to wait for you, no matter how much it makes you mad. He's here for good. He doesn't, necessarily, want marriage, just commitment."

I looked up at Danny, and he smoothed my hair back again, leaving a soft kiss on my forehead.

"I talk to him upstairs. Don't tell him that or else he'll kick my ass. And you know he can do it too," Danny whispered to me, making me laugh.

He laughed with me, and I blushed when I saw Sam leaning against the banister watching us. He unhitched himself from the banister and Danny, seeing Sam, pretended to stiffen. I sat up, and Danny moved from the couch, skirting around Sam to make me laugh more. Sam took his place, eagerly pulling me into his arms. He kissed my neck, nuzzling against my cheek, and his fingers automatically took the spaces in between mine. I laid my head back on his shoulder, thinking hard.

"Will you still love me if I say that I don't want to be married right now?" I asked.

"Of course, sweet boy. You're my baby, and I could never not love you just because you don't want something. You didn't want white pizza when I had it, and I wasn't mad. I just bought you a piece of regular pizza. Okay, I need to stop talking. I'm tired and I'm suddenly comparing our relationship to Italian food. Please, interrupt me anytime." He blushed hard, embarrassed.

I laughed. "I think it's cute, and it's true so you're not lying. So it's okay. I was just thinking that we could have commitment but not marriage."

I used his words, but he didn't know that. I felt his warm hands, slipping under my shirt, ghost across my belly. He kissed my shoulder, sighing.

"That would be great," he whispered, his voice sleepy.

I smiled, my entire body finally relaxing enough for me to feel exhausted. Sam fell very quiet, but he soon shifted, quietly telling me to move for a second. I stood, letting him stretch out, and settled back against his chest. My ear rested over his heart and my left hand rested on the other side of his chest. His heartbeat, tender and sleepy underneath my ear, was enough to lull me into a peaceful sleep for the night.


	38. Store

_Sam_

"You're kind of spastic when we come here. Why is that?" I asked Xavier, tapping the toe of my Sperry's on the floor as I peered into the cooler in front of me.

I'd brought Xavier along with me to buy stuff for dinner at his parents' house (they were having a party and we'd been put on buying food while Danny was in charge of cooking it) and he always got excited when we came to Wegmans, the local (humongous) specialty grocery store. They had everything you could ever want and that was a God send.

"I never got to come to the grocery store with my mom. It was never "my place" since we had another girl. I threw that stereotype out the window when I came out but my parents still didn't like that Danny and I liked to cook since it was a "woman's role."" He looked over his shoulder at me, picking up a package of sushi. "Don't call me spastic. I don't like it."

"Sorry," I said, leaning down to pick up a package of cannolies. I jumped, straightening up fast, when I felt hands on my hips. Xavier smiled, kissing the nape of my neck. He then frowned, wiping his hand over my neck.

"Are you feeling okay, sweetie?" He asked me, feeling my forehead. "You're so warm."

"It's July, babe. It's hot outside," I told him, turning around to put the cannolies in the very full cart. "Those are for you and me; they're not on the list."

"Mmm, I think I know a good use for the cream," Xavier purred, his tongues coming out to flick at my neck. I shivered, and flushed at the implication. I watched with an amused expression as Xavier took off again, and wiped my face on my T-shirt. I was so hot, but I felt like I was in Antarctica with a tank top on.

By the time we were standing in line to checkout, I was practically panting and shaking.

"Sweetheart, you don't look good at all. We need to get you home," Xavier crooned, kissing my cheek before starting to load the groceries onto the belt at the checkout. He wouldn't let me help, gently pushing me away every time. I finally gave up, too tired to care anymore.

He drove us home, blasting the air conditioner and then the heat going back to the AC as my body temperature changed drastically. He made me go inside, where he gave Tom the job of babysitting me while he and Danny brought in the groceries. Tom, always a soft-hearted man, felt my forehead and walked with me over to the couch. I toed off my shoes, curling up on the couch while Tom crouched in front of me.

"I know you probably don't like us doting all over you, but it's just instinct," Tom joked, stroking my hair off my forehead.

"I don't care, especially now. I get it enough from my sister, so you and Danny doing it isn't weird anymore," I muttered, shivering.

He smiled, kissing my forehead, and stood when my boyfriend and his husband came in. They both looked worried, but Xavier was obviously distressed. Thank God our job was done and we weren't required anymore. Danny's arm wound around Tom's waist almost automatically, pulling him close to his side, and Tom tucked himself right up against Danny until there was no more room between them. Xavier, kneeling in front of me, stroked my sweaty forehead and looked so worried. I smiled at him, touching his hand, and sat up a little bit. My stomach felt like it was tied into a knot _and_ sloshing around the acid inside.

"He doesn't look too good, Zay. You may want to . . ." Danny trailed off as I took off towards the downstairs bathroom.

I heard several sets of footsteps following me, but it wasn't Xavier who kneeled next to me. It was Tom, but that didn't surprise me since he had good Army medical training. I almost wanted to cringe away from him, since I didn't like anyone but Xavier touching me when I was sick, but he wouldn't take any of it. I was partly glad for it too. He was good under chaos with the party trying to unfold around us and me puking my guts up in the downstairs bathroom. Danny, having learned from his husband, was just as good under pressure (not related to the Army but still) and helped Tom out while Xavier was ordered to just stand there and calm down.

My fingers curled helplessly, needing something to hold onto, but finding nothing on the hardwood floor of the bathroom. Tom pulled me back from kneeling and I weakly shifted my legs on the floor to sit more comfortably. I realized I was crying too late, but decided I didn't give a damn about anything anymore. Tom, his arm cradled around my back, pressed a cold cloth to my face and got fatherly on me. He was a great father, and he had this . . . thing about him that just made you feel loved and safe. He hushed me with a gentle, "Shh," and pressed my head onto his shoulder. He sat against the wall, me in between his legs, and held me while I continued to cry. I buried my face in his chest, not caring he was my sort of, ish brother-in-law/in no way related to me, and sobbed long and hard.

"Go," I heard Tom say softly, probably telling Danny and Xavier to leave, but went back to me almost immediately. "Shhh."

I'd seen him sweet and gentle before, with Danny or his daughter, but never really towards Xavier or me. If I hadn't been sick, I would have been a little bit honored. Tom's hand pulled my sweaty T-shirt away from my skin, his soft voice telling me I was safe and that everything was okay, and I shivered when his warm lips touched my forehead.

"Xavier?" Tom called softly, and I heard quick footsteps come closer. "Can you get him something to drink? You know him better when he's sick, so it's your call."

I guess Xavier nodded. "He likes Coke, just so you know."

Tom's fingertips stroked down my side, his lips finding my hot forehead again. My breathing was shattered and gasping, but when he shifted ever so slightly I lurched away from him. He went with me, his hand on my back and his other hand going to my forehead so I wouldn't hit it on anything. I heard a shatter, and a muttered curse from the hallway, but just cringed and continued to puke. This day had started so well.

"Shhh, sweetheart, everything's okay," Tom murmured to me, his hand pulling my T-shirt away from my sweaty back.

I took a few deep breaths as my stomach calmed for a moment, and Tom yanked my T-shirt off. That one movement, set my stomach off, but now I had nothing left. I cried even harder, hating my life right now. Tom stroked my hair, holding the wet cloth to my face, and I was immensely happy to have him here with me. Tom collected me in his arms, settling against the wall next to the toilet again with me between his legs, and gently ran his fingers through my sweaty hair. I flinched violently, Tom's arms tightening around me, when there was a loud noise that sounded like a cry from the kitchen.

"Xavier did you drop the glass?" Tom asked, his hand cradling my head against his chest as I sniffled.

"Yeah, and I think Danny just burned himself . . . or cut himself. I'm not sure which. But don't worry, everything's under control," I heard my boyfriend say, but I could tell by the way his voice sounded that he was getting frustrated and upset.

Tom's thumb brushed over my temple, kissing my head. "Are you okay, sweetie?"

I sniffled, my lips trembling, and tried not to cry anymore. I was just exhausting myself further. But I couldn't do anything about it.

"Shhh," Tom hushed me, pulling me closer. "You can cry, baby. It's fine."

I tried hard to will away the tears, but Tom's fingertips ran up and down my back and he told me that he wasn't going anywhere. I peeked out from the protection of his arms, and saw Xavier crouched in front of a dust pan with a broom. I shakily sat up, my muscles weak, and Xavier looked over at me. He laid the broom down, moving into the bathroom with Tom and I. He pulled me into his arms, sitting in front of me, and I buried my face in his shoulder. I felt two sets of hands on my back, Tom's kneading a little harder than Xavier's, but it all felt good so I didn't care at all. I felt tender to the touch, but Tom was gentle enough that it didn't hurt but was soothing. I ached all over, but having Xavier so close made me forget.

I situated myself stiffly against Xavier, peeking out when another set of footsteps came closer. Danny was holding a towel to his hand.

"Um, Tom, can you come help me?" He pleaded, and Tom carefully stood, giving Xavier the washcloth.

He stroked my hair as he passed me, ducking quickly to kiss my head and Xavier's. "I'll be right back."

Xavier nodded, holding me tighter but very gently. I leaned back, and Xavier wiped the remaining tears off my cheeks. He cradled my face in his hands, leaning forward to kiss my nose. I smiled a little, and he coaxed a little bit of a bigger smile out of me.

"Oh my God, Danny! Why didn't you come get me earlier?" I heard Tom ask his husband, obviously angry.

Xavier smiled, trying not to laugh, but failed. I laughed a little too, finally not feeling like complete crap. Xavier retrieved my toothbrush from my duffle bag for me, and while I brushed my teeth and washed my face he continued to clean the broken glass up. He wiped up the spilled Coke, and threw away the glass. He retrieved me a clean T-shirt, and I took it gratefully. He walked with me, while I pretty much staggered, into the kitchen where Danny had been put in a chair while Tom wrapped a large amount of gauze around Danny's palm. I sat at the island, waiting while Xavier got me another Coke, and suddenly was very hungry. When I said something about food, all three of my new babysitters all said, "Uh uh," and took everything away from me but my Coke. I stared dejectedly into my soda, my stomach rumbling emptily, until Xavier finally relented and gave me some toast.

Xavier and I, since we didn't exactly want to be a part of the party, spent the evening outside. We went swimming a little, and cracked up when Danny came outside to tell us about a couple who'd seen us kissing through the sliding glass door. They'd apparently said something to Xavier's mom, but she'd proudly told them Xavier was her son and he was with his boyfriend, _moi_. Though some of his parents' friends were kind of homophobic, Xavier's parents very proudly boasted about Xavier and I or Danny and Tom. But since Danny was grown up, they mostly talked about Xavier. I was glad his parents had gotten over their homophobia, and accepted their son for who he was.

Danny brought us some dinner, Xavier a really delicious looking steak and me some grilled chicken that would be easy on my stomach. Tom got all doctor/father on me and wanted to make sure I wasn't exerting myself and wasn't going to make myself sick again. To be in the water but not be moving around a whole lot, I settled on a float while Xavier dove for weighted rings I tossed into the water. Every time he came up with one, laying it on my belly, I'd give him a kiss. He smiled when he came up again next to me, and handed me the green ring he'd gone after. I leaned over carefully and kissed his nose. He scrunched his nose against my kiss, but smiled wider at me. I tossed another ring in, closing my eyes against the setting sun, and listened as the water splashed quietly when Xavier dove back down. It was quiet for a few moments but I shrieked when something came up underneath me, flipping me over. I belly flopped into the water, sucking in a breath before I went under.

When I surfaced, spitting water from my mouth, Xavier was grinning at me. I splashed him, glaring daggers at him, and started swimming over to the side. I felt a hand wrap around my ankle, gently pulling me backwards, and I didn't fight. I felt warm arms wrap around me from the back, and a pair of soft lips press to the connection of my neck and shoulder. I smiled, peering over my shoulder at my baby, and kissed him. I pulled away after only a second, pursing my lips.

"Sorry," I said, pushing away from him gently. "You probably don't want to kiss me."

"No," Xavier crooned, pulling me back but facing him this time. "I don't care, and I'll always want to kiss you."

I smiled and, deciding to test this theory, pressed my lips to his in a gentle, sweet kiss. He kissed me back, his hand finding my cheek, and pressed his other hand into the small of my back.

**EDIT: The chapter before this I have Xavier and Sam turning 21 but then I did some math and realized I screwed up BIG TIME. I originally planned for Danny to be ****eight**** years older than Xavier, but I did math wrong and he ended up being nine years older and I messed up some of the math for how old Xavier was. There is obviously a two year time jump but I'm not making it a specific year even though I kind of am with their ages. So, here we go:**

**Xavier – Birthday: August 11 – Age in the beginning of the story: 19 – Age currently: 20 almost 21**

**Sam – Birthday: April 1 – Age in the beginning of the story: 19 – Age currently: 21**

***Danny – Birthday: June 18 – Age in the beginning of the story: 27 – Age currently: 29**

***Tom – Birthday: October 31 – Age in the beginning of the story: 25 – Age currently: 27**

*** = I had to change their ages in the beginning to accommodate them to Xavier and Sam's ages. Danny is eight years older than Xavier and Sam; Tom is two years younger than Danny.**

**So, I hope I've fixed everything. Thank you for letting me ramble and if I catch anything else I will be sure to put an EDIT up.**

**Oh, and btw: Kevin and Scotty are now **_**Joe**_** = Kevin and **_**Scott**_** = Scotty. There.**

**Peace,**

**CFD**


	39. Bed

_Danny_

Tom's lithe back arched up towards me, and I smiled. He hummed, holding the pillow tighter to his chest.

"That's an 's'. I'm sure of it," he said, giggling when I kissed his shoulder.

"You're right. See you're good at this," I praised him.

He laughed harder when I drew an 'e' on his back with my tongue. He shivered and thought hard as I pressed kisses across his shoulders.

"Can you do it again?" He asked, shifting a little.

"Of course, angel," I purred and traced the 'e' again.

He sighed, settling his chin on the pillow. "Was that a 'q'?"

"What the hell? That was _so_ not a 'q'. That couldn't have been a 'q' if I tried. Try again."

"Alright, do it again."

I smiled, ducking my head and dragged my tongue across his back for the third time.

"Okay, that's an 'e'," Tom told me, his back arching again when my hands found his hips and my lips found the small of his back just above his bottom.

I dragged my tongue in the two lines that make up an 'x' and Tom smiled, shivering and giggling on the bed below me.

"Daniel Smith, you are so dirty," he chided me, turning over onto his back and bringing his legs up around my waist.

I smiled, leaning down to kiss him. One round of love making, and a round of spelling words on my husband's back with my tongue, and we were more than ready for a second go at the first activity. Tom was practically shaking with his eagerness, and I was just as eager to get inside him. He smiled, laughing, when I nuzzled against his cheek. His eagerness was evident, and I was glad he was always so ready to do what we so loved. He pulled his legs back, his knees hooking over my shoulders, and grinned.

"Are you sure, sweetheart? I don't wanna hurt you," I said, since his legs weren't completely flexible.

"I'm sure," he told me, shifting a little bit.

But he changed his mind moments later, his legs going back to circle around my waist and pull me closer. Our bodies were made for each other, moving in sync and smoothly with the other. His back arched, a needy moan eliciting from his lips, and brought his hips up to meet mine. Tom's breathing was ragged and shattered, whimpers of my name and pleas coming from him, and I ducked my head down to kiss him.

I didn't know how much time had passed, but I didn't care. Walking back to the bed, I leaned over Tom. He looked very sleepy, his eyes blinking slowly up at me while I wiped his belly off with a warm washcloth. He yawned adorably, and I smoothed his sweaty hair back. His cheeks were flushed, the skin hot under my hand, and he tried hard to keep his eyes open. I bent down, kissing his forehead, and stroked his cheek with the pad of my thumb. He was still awake, barely, when I came back into the bedroom. He eagerly snuggled up to my chest, burying his face in my neck, and I dragged my fingertips down his strong back. The muscles shifted underneath the skin under my fingers when he curled up closer to me. I was so content to just lay here with my husband in my arms, his hot, damp skin pressed against mine, and just replay our night over and over in my mind.

Tom tried to stay awake, but he just looked so pitiful.

"Sleep, my angel," I murmured to him. "I'll be right here with you."

He sniffed, shifting to get more comfortable, and settled in my arms finally.

_

* * *

_

Tom didn't jump when I dropped a wine glass, the glass shattering on the floor, when I yelped like a little girl, shooting away from it. He just looked over at it, sighed, and got up. "I'll get the broom."

He looked tired and depressed when he walked towards the laundry room, leaning in to find the broom. He came back, going to get the glass, but I stopped him. I took the broom from him, kissing his cheek, and touched his waist.

"Go take a nap, baby. You look exhausted," I murmured, stroking his hair.

He blinked slowly, nodding, and started towards the stairs. "I love you," he called softly, turning momentarily to look back at me.

"I love you too, angel," I said, smiling at him.

He cracked a small smile, turning back, and padded up the stairs. His footsteps were soft and they retreated fast into the bedroom. I could faintly hear him move above me, the floor creaking quietly, and it wasn't long until I heard the bed sink and press against the floor. I knew the door was open, because when I moved into the hall I could hear sheets rustle and a long, relaxing sigh. I smiled, and then went back into the kitchen to clean up the glass. After twenty minutes, hearing soft snoring from upstairs, I made sure to step carefully as I made my way upstairs. Tom, never really one to stretch out, was curled up in a tiny little ball in the middle of the bed. When I padded closer, kissing his forehead, he stretched his legs out. I smoothed my hand over his tiny waist, feeling the muscles contract and relax under my hand as he stretched out. He swallowed, a soft noise coming from him, and sighed as he finally spread out across our bed. I smiled, and brushed my lips over his forehead again before leaving him. I pulled the door to, not yet closed, but enough to bathe the room in darkness and leave a few inches of light panning across the carpet.

I worked around the house for a little bit, finding random stuff that had been misplaced before. It wasn't until a few hours later that Tom came back down, looking a lot happier. He smiled at me, rubbing sleepily at his eyes. I smiled back, leaning down to kiss him. He accepted my kiss, running his hand down my belly. I smirked when his small hand found the waistband of my jeans. He smiled wider, and tugged impatiently at my pants.

I laughed and let him pull me by my belt loop. He pulled me upstairs, his fingers never leaving my jeans, and once we were inside he was yanking me down to kiss him. We didn't even bother closing the door, undressing each other faster than ever before. My hands were a little cold, since I'd just recently stuck my hand in the freezer for some ice cubes for a drink, but he didn't seem to mind.

His thick pewter ring was chilly against my neck as he gripped me there while we kissed. I'd brought him up into my arms, holding him. We both had our jeans on still, the buttons and zippers undone, but we were both shirtless. We were broken apart when the doorbell rang, a knock sounding on the door.

"Fu-ck!" Tom cursed, slipping from my arms. He jerked on his T-shirt, fixing his jeans, and stalked downstairs. I dressed fast, beating him to the door knowing he was _pissed_.

It was Rebecca, Melanie on her hip, and she looked surprised.

"I'm sorry, is this a bad time? I can come back," she said, but I shook my head.

Tom sighed and walked into the kitchen. I watched him walk, his hips swaying slightly, and God I wanted him so badly.

"Oh, I know that look. I stopped you two from getting it on. _My_ bad," she laughed, letting her daughter down.

Melanie toddled into the kitchen after Tom, gripping his jeans when she found him. He smiled down at her, smoothing her curly, downy blond hair back. I came over to him, putting my hands on his waist from behind him. He looked back at me, smiling, and leant up to kiss me.

"Hey now! No fornicating in front of my offspring. I don't want her to be tainted. She's barely three," Rebecca scolded us, grinning.

We scowled at her, and I kissed Tom's forehead. "Better?" I sneered.

She laughed. "Yes. Thank you."

I grimaced at her, and kissed Tom's shoulder before moving towards the fridge. I smiled over my shoulder as Melanie, speaking a little bit, attempted Tom's name. He smiled down at the girl we considered a niece or goddaughter, and I bit my lip. He was such an attentive man that he had and would still make a great father, uncle, whatever.

We were sitting at the kitchen table, sweet tea for all of us in glasses and milk for Melanie in her sippy cup. Mel, her nickname that we all used, sat in Tom's lap as we talked, her little fingers finding the raised scar underneath his T-shirt. She was young enough that she didn't need or want any explanation, and was just fascinated by the strange texture.

Mel wanted to go out onto the beach, so Rebecca said good-bye as her daughter held onto her shorts and pulled. We smiled, waving at Mel as Rebecca opened our back door. She pulled it closed behind her and Tom sighed, slinking down low in his chair. I smoothed his hair, watching his eyes move to look out the window.

"What's the matter, angel?" I asked him, pulling his face over to look at me.

He didn't say anything, just scooted his chair closer, and nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck. I smiled, running my hand down his back and kissing his shoulder. I looked out at the beach, the waves lapping at the sand and pier down a ways. I felt Tom's lips purse against my neck, moving to my shoulder. I sighed softly, letting my head fall back as his hand slid over my belly. I smiled and just let myself feel. It had been a long time since I did that, and I realized how much I loved it. Tom slipped into my lap, and I smiled at him. He grinned, his hands finding my hipbones, and kissed my collarbone.

"Come on, sweetheart. We've got an appointment with our bed," I said, standing, and he wrapped his legs around my waist.

Once we were in our bedroom, Tom was pulling my T-shirt off. I pushed him towards the bed, and he got up on it, pulling me on with him. He kissed down my chest, and I gasped when his lips found my nipple. He smiled, his fingers digging into my sides, and I ducked my head to kiss his forehead. He moved down my stomach, his hands finding my jeans. I tugged his T-shirt off, running my hands down his back. He was incredibly eager, his hands shaking as he tried to undo my jeans, but I smoothed my hands over his shoulders, calming him.

"Shhh, baby, calm down. We don't have to rush," I soothed him, and he looked up at me.

I touched his cheek, leaning down to kiss him. I made sure to slow him down, calm him, and make him take his time.

It _had_ to have been at least two hours later when we stretched out on the bed, panting.

"We should do that more often. That was amazing," Tom sighed, his entire body glistening with sweat. He shivered as the fan blew cool air on us.

"Mmm-hmm," I hummed, kissing my husband's forehead. His head rested on my arm, using it as a pillow since we'd discarded the actual pillows to the floor earlier.

Tom was quiet for a moment, and then shuddered, smiling. I chuckled.

"What was that for, sweetie?" I asked him.

"I was just thinking about how good that had felt," he told me, looking up at me. "I'd never felt anything like that before."

I smiled, kissing his cheek. "I'm glad you liked it. I'll admit that I'd never done that before. I didn't know if you would like it, so I never thought of it."

I smiled, thinking of Tom with his backside in the air but his head down on the bed. His whimpers and soft moans were a lot needier and he was a lot more vocal than ever before. I made a mental note to have him in that position more often.

Tom giggled at what I said, and I could tell he was giddy from the endorphins still coursing through him. He sat up, stretching his arms over his head, and yawned. He wasn't tired though. No way. He turned to look at me, and I smiled, running my fingertips over the small of his back. I thought of our first time together, when he sliced open his knee and I had to take him to the ER. Once we got back home though, and his knee wasn't hurting as bad, we made love again. That night we'd worked ourselves hard enough for us to sleep until noon or later. Who would have known we would be here ten years later. I sighed, watching my husband as he continued to stretch his muscles.

He was so beautiful, and I'd never ever figure out how I came to deserve him.


	40. Work

_Danny_

With résumé's like mine and Tom's, we had no problem finding jobs. We didn't necessarily enjoy jobs, but they were a fact of life and we had to suck it up.

I sighed as I walked through the door, being quiet as to not wake Tom if he was asleep. I was a part time barista at a coffee shop (not Starbucks because their coffee is so disgusting. They sell Seattle's Best where I work, which is great since that's mine and Tom's favorite coffee) and Tom was part time at the recruiting office. I came home smelling of coffee and he came home smiling about the wide-eyed kids he'd recruited that day.

My husband—so little and adorable but tough at the same time—sat at the kitchen table, a book in front of him and his index finger fiddling with the tab of a Diet Coke can. He was intent on his book, his forehead creasing as he read, and I smiled. I knocked lightly on the doorframe, and he looked up at me, his face splitting into an excited smile. I chuckled softly and went over to him as he put his book on the table and turned towards me. He reached up, eager to touch me, and wrapped his arms around my neck as I bent down. Our lips molded together, soft and tender, in a greeting no words were able to convey. When we pulled back, his lips pulled up at the corners in a smile that crinkled the corners of his bright, grey eyes.

"They didn't let you off until really late. Did you close?" Tom said, his fingers smoothing over the nape of my neck and the curls there.

"Yeah. It was me and Zach," I told him, my lips finding his soft cheek.

"I hate it when you close. It freaks me out because you're almost all alone and it's already getting dark—"

I cut him off with another kiss, just a soft brushing of my lips, but it quieted him. When I pulled away, his eyes were wide, but he was calm. He blinked up at me and started to say something, but I gave him a look. He smiled then, and leaned forward. His lips pursed against my nose, grinning at me when I smiled and laughed softly.

"Come here, angel," I prodded him, tugging on his back.

He smiled, and he practically crawled into my arms. I smiled at him once he was in my arms, at my eyelevel. His arms were still around my neck, and he pressed his forehead to mine. It was an amazing feeling to be so in love with someone that just looking at each other makes you giddy. We were both tired, but we still needed to do something to be close to each other. So instead of having hardcore sex, we made love. We made love more often than not, but tonight it seemed a lot sweeter. Tom was exhausted afterward, but he was content and happy.

He stretched, smiling, and sighed. He was flushed and glowing from the dim lamplight on the thin sheen of sweat on his lean body. He stretched again, and I smoothed my hand over his tiny waist. He smiled bigger, but it was a sleepy, crooked smile, and curled his toes to stretch even further.

* * *

I flipped through the mail as I walked back up the driveway. There was a manila envelope from Aaron and other letters that I didn't really care about right now. Tom was on the floor, peering underneath the sink. His back was arched towards the floor, his T-shirt riding up in the back. I stopped, cocking my head to the side.

"Tommy? Whatcha doin', sweetheart?" I asked him, leaning down to brush my fingertips over the exposed small of his back. He shivered and looked up at me.

"Trying to find the Clorox. I got grass stains all over my white T-shirt when we were at Joe and Scott's house," he said, sitting up on his knees.

I crouched down next to him, sitting the mail on the counter above us, and peered into the cabinet. I spotted a blue cap in the way back, and reached for it. I bashed my forehead but got the bottle for Tom.

"Are you okay?" Tom asked me after we'd stood.

I nodded, rubbing at my forehead. I smiled when Tom pulled me down and leant up to kiss the aching spot. He patted my chest before disappearing into the laundry room. I leaned against the counter, pressing my hand against my forehead, and finally fished an ice pack out of the freezer. I sat down at the kitchen table, leaning on my elbows while holding the ice pack to my head. Tom looked so adorable coming back out into the kitchen—his jeans all paint splattered from when we painted our room and the entire downstairs when we first moved in—a satisfied look on his face.

"You look a lot happier now that your shirt's clean," I teased him, and he scowled at me.

"I love you," I told him, grinning.

He smiled then, coming over to settle in my lap, and gave me a kiss. "I love you too."

I smiled, setting the ice pack on the table, and held my husband closer. His hand came up to my chest as he laid his head on my shoulder, and I loved being able to hold him. He nuzzled even closer, his grey eyes peering up at me. I smiled down at him, kissing his forehead sweetly, and brushed my nose over his. He giggled, smiling big, and kissed me again.

We parted ways at eleven-thirty that morning, since I was working the "second" shift today (twelve to six) and he was able to go in late when he usually goes in at nine, working until six also. My day went slowly, mainly the orders being smoothies or iced coffees since it was hot outside. I traced random patterns on the counter in front of me, wishing I was at home with my husband. But I was allowed to read, which was good, and so I did. That evening when I was leaving, I saw the flower shop across the street. A teenage couple came out, the boy giving the girl he was with a bright red rose. I smiled, tucking my keys back in the pocket of my shorts and crossed the street. I could see the recruiting office way down the main street, no green Jeep parked outside, and smiled.

As I climbed into my car ten minutes later, I gently laid the fresh bouquet of roses in the passenger seat and grinned as I sped down the street and towards my home. When I got out of the car in my driveway, I held the flowers behind my back when I opened the door. Tom practically sprinted down the stairs, his shorts half zipped and not buttoned. He was grinning, excited to see me, and I laughed. I leaned down to kiss him, and touched his cheek with my free hand. He smiled up at me, his eyes crinkling slightly at the edges.

"Close your eyes," I told him, and he obeyed, still smiling.

"Why do I have to close my eyes?" He asked me, starting to peek.

"No, no! You can't peek. Because I have something for you," I explained, touching his side.

He smiled wider, anticipating his gift, and I brought the flowers around from behind my back.

"Okay. Open your eyes."

His sparkling grey eyes burst open, his lips curved into a smile, until his eyes fell on the dozen red roses in my hand. His mouth fell open a fraction, eyes widening and smile faltering, and then he looked at me.

"They're beautiful," he said, his lips pulling up at the corners.

I smiled big, leaning down, and kissed him. He smiled against my lips, wrapping his arms around my neck, and stood on his toes to reach me. Once we pulled away, I gave him the flowers (his flowers) and let him pad into the kitchen to find a vase. I followed after him, pulling off my T-shirt that smelled of coffee, and tossed that into the wash while Tom turned on the faucet. He was still at the sink when I came back in. I wrapped my arms around his slim waist from behind, pressing myself flush against his back, and snuck my knee in between his legs. He shuddered, but grinned up at me. I smiled at him, kissing his soft neck, and looked at the flowers I'd brought home to my husband. It was a first for me, but I hoped I did good on the first try.

"Did I do good?" I asked the man who, much to his embarrassment, I considered my baby. As odd as that sounds.

"You did great," he told me; laying his head back and leaning up to kiss me.

It was a quick kiss, over before you could really tell it happened, but it was reassuring. I kissed Tom's forehead, loving the soft feel of his skin underneath my lips.

"I'm glad you like them. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must go find a shirt." I kissed his forehead again before I started to pull away.

He was in front of the open fridge when I came back down, my old Madonna T-shirt on (yes, I liked, and still like, Madonna).

"Now _that_ is hot," Tom teased me, and I scowled at him.

"It was the only clean shirt I could find," I defended, knocking him with my hip purposefully.

He scoffed, shouldering me, and giggled when I found his ticklish sides. I kissed his cheek, spotting the roses in the family room next to the couch, and reached into the (still) open fridge. I pulled out the pitcher of sweet tea (which we down south just called tea; no need for extra words since sweet tea is the only _good_ kind of tea down here) and got two glasses from the cabinet while Tom nudged the double stainless steel doors closed. I laid my hand on my husband's waist, pulling him a little closer, and he smiled.

I left a kiss on the crown of his head, his smile changing to more content than happy, and was still amazed by how tiny he'd gotten. He blinked slowly, shifting closer and laying his head on my chest. I smiled, stroking his back through his T-shirt, and loved having him so close after a long day without him there.

"Do you want to go somewhere tonight?" I asked him, laying my cheek on his head.

"Sure, it's country night at the club in town," Tom said, grinning now.

"Ahhh, I do love country night." I laughed, and kissed him.

"As do I," he joked, and started to pull away.

"Uh, I don't think so," I said, and swung him up into my arms.

He squeaked, gripping my shoulders once up in my arms, but then grinned and kissed me. I carried him upstairs, laying him on our bed, and then went into the (huge) walk-in closet we shared. You could definitely tell whose side was whose since mine was made up mostly of colorful T-shirts, jeans, a few button downs, loads of sneakers and a pair of cowboy boots and _one_ pair of dress shoes, and only one suit. Plus it was terribly messy. Tom's side was neat, practically sorted by color (though the only actual colors were of shirts I'd bought him), made up of three suits, dress shoes, a few pairs of sneakers and one pair of cowboy boots, his work (Army) boots, button downs, and T-shirts that were mainly white, black, grey, tan, and green. I loved Converse sneakers and had almost every color they made, having collected them over the years, even a pair that I found somewhere that were rainbow.

I tossed a white T-shirt at Tom when he followed me in the closet. He caught it, but not after flinching, and looked at it.

"But—"

I cut him off, throwing a pair of pale blue boot cut jeans at him, and telling him to suck it up and that I thought he looked cute in that specific shirt. I'd know; I bought it for him because it was tight but loose enough and it was simple. He took his cowboy boots from me so I wouldn't throw them, and slipped back into the room. My jeans that I picked out were a little darker than Tom's and my shirt a navy, red, and white plaid button down.

"Oh, so _you_ get to wear a button down shirt, but _I_ can't." Tom pouted when I came back out.

He was halfway in his jeans, his shirt already on. He sighed loudly and went back to putting on his pants.

"That's right, because with that shirt I'll have to be fighting off every guy in the place," I said, and smiled when he rolled his eyes.

"You just like to make other guys feel bad for going after me," he mumbled, jerking his jeans up around his butt.

"No," I said, buttoning and zipping them for him. He glared at me. "I just like to let them know that, no matter what, you're going home with me."

"You're a horrible person," he muttered at me, sitting on the bed to put on his socks and boots.

"I know, but you secretly love letting all those guys know that you're mine. Don't try to deny it. Denial's the first stage," I said, and he cracked a smile. "Come on, you know it was funny."

His smile grew a little more, but he tried to fight it.

"Don't smile. Don't you dare smile."

He was now fighting off a giggle _and_ a smile. I grinned, leaning down to kiss his forehead, and brought his face up to look him in the eye. He was biting his lip hard, small, breathy chuckles coming from him.

"Don't laugh either," I told him, and he lost it.

I laughed with him, ruffling his soft hair, but I needed to get dressed. He was still chuckling as he pulled on his boots, and I smiled as I buttoned and zipped my jeans. He stood after fixing his jeans over his boots, and buttoned my shirt for me. He kissed his way up my belly and chest, nuzzled underneath my chin, and left a kiss on my neck. I smiled, running my hand down the curve of his back, and kissed him softly.

Our boots crunched on the sidewalk and driveway as we walked, and I went around to the passenger side of the Jeep to unlock and open Tom's door. He smiled, his cheeks turning pink, and climbed up. I shut his door, walking around the front, and opened my door. The wind whipped through the car when we finally pulled out and headed into town. Tom's hand tentatively found its way to mine, lacing our fingers together. I could see him smile out of the corner of my eye, happy to be holding my hand in the car, and smiled.

Tom stuck close to me, like always, in the club. He didn't entirely enjoy huge crowds, and the loud, pounding music made it just that much worse. My arm was almost permanently around his waist, but the one time I ventured just a little too far to talk to someone, he grabbed my hand instead. As his confidence built, mainly from me telling him how hot he looked and how proud I was to have him with me, he was the one venturing. But never very far.

I saw him a few feet away, talking with a man I recognized from the recruiting office, but he also had a date, so I wasn't worried. It wasn't until I was with him again, pressing through the crowd to get to the opening near the wall, and someone didn't see his hand linked with mine. Their arm slipped around his waist, but his eyes betrayed that he wasn't used to that. He tried to pull away, but they were persistent. I'd gotten separated when he'd been pulled away from me by this guy, so I pushed through to get back to him. His hands were settled on my husband's hips, and he was saying something to him. Tom looked apologetic, trying to gently extract himself to get back to me, but before he could do it politely I was there. He apologized again, but was relieved when I wrapped my arm around his waist. I just shook my head, tugging him along with me, and kissed him in full view of the entire club once we were against the wall. I smiled, stroking his cheek, and he blushed a little.

It was an ongoing game to keep Tom mine for the night. But it was a fun game. He was right; I did like to make the guys who thought they had a chance with Tom feel bad. Just thinking of Tom going home with any one of these guys makes me uneasy and I just want to keep him as close as possible. It was always the men my age or Tom's age that went after him, but he always either got away by himself or I had to intervene. It always scared the shit out of whoever had a hold of my husband because I was so tall and unhappy that they had the one man I was intent on taking home that night.

It was late when we decided we'd had enough and left. A little diner was still open, along with several fast food restaurants, so we pulled into the diner's parking lot. I shrugged out of my button down, leaving just my T-shirt underneath, and pocketed the car keys as we walked in. We had a late night dinner, sitting across from each other even though it was a pain with my legs, and shared a piece of pie for dessert.

"I'm glad we didn't drink this time. We can actually remember the looks on the _multiple_ guys who tried to hook up with me," he shuddered but smiled, "and you won't be throwing up when we get home."

I smiled, reaching across the table to take his smaller hand in mine. His lips curled up at the corners, and I rubbed my hands up his arms. We stayed for a little longer, having a cup of coffee each before paying and getting up to leave. Tom blinked tiredly on the way home, yawning adorably, and turning the Sirius radio to a jazz station. I held his hand again, rubbing my thumb over the soft skin.

Once we were at home, changing into pajamas, he was getting increasingly exhausted. He clumsily pulled a T-shirt over his head, ruffling his hair, and I laughed when I saw what T-shirt he'd picked. We both had a large collection of funny gay pride T-shirts (mainly from friends, each other, or family). One of his older ones, that Jasper had given him after we started going out and Tom told him that he'd lost his virginity, said: 'Cherries gone…but I still got the box it came in" with a little picture of two cherries. He looked down at his shirt and groaned.

"Shit. I totally forgot I owned this. Stop laughing. I'm too tired to care anymore," he muttered angrily, and turned his back to me, making his way over to the bed. His black briefs peeked out from underneath his T-shirt, and I smiled. He was too cute.

He curled up away from me when I lay down, still mad at me. I sighed, pulling him back against me even though he was tense. I spooned him practically against his will, but as I whispered to him he relaxed.

"I'm sorry I laughed, angel," I whispered to him, my hand snaking underneath his T-shirt. "I love that shirt because I'm the one who's responsible for it. I still love you. If that counts."

I could tell he smiled, his cheek shifting to accommodate. "I love you too. It definitely counts."

I smiled, kissing his neck, and snuggled closer to him. Just having the heavy warmth of him against my chest was enough to let me relax, and the only noise was his even breathing and the fan. I lay for a moment, thinking about how lucky I was for the life I was living now, and with that I dozed off with my husband cradled against my chest.


	41. Shock

_Tom_

Climbing out of my Jeep, I knocked my door shut with my hip while I looked at the papers in my hand. I just had to bring these to the office and then I could meet Danny for lunch. We were both off today, and I wish I didn't have to even leave for a second to come here. But I had to. The cowbell jangled as I pushed open the door, and the guy that was working today, Zeke, snorted at me.

"What?" I asked, smiling.

"You're shirt," he said, taking the papers from me.

I looked down at me shirt, and grinned at him. It read 'Catcher' in capital letters with rainbow stripes behind it.

"You like it," I teased him, and he responded sarcastically.

"We'll have to discharge you for that," he said, but we laughed.

The men that I worked with here knew I was gay, supported me, and thought Danny was just so much fun.

"You could never discharge me, Zeke. You love me too much. But too late, I resigned two years ago."

His upper lip curled up in distaste, but he laughed as I blew him a kiss from the door.

"Fag!" He called after me.

"Douche bag!" I yelled back as I left.

I climbed into my Jeep, but not after spotting my new bumper sticker. Danny and I had started to flaunt our pride, and we loved doing it. My bumper sticker (which Danny also had) read: His; Spouses for life. My Jeep rumbled to life, and I pulled out into the cars cruising down Main Street and headed towards Sticky Fingers. When someone honked behind me, I glanced in my rearview mirror and sneered when the person behind me flipped me off. I pressed harder on the gas, my knuckles turning white as I gripped the steering wheel. I saw Danny's red Mazda parked on the side of the road, a few yards away from the restaurant, and parallel parked in the open space in front of it. I slammed my door, irritated, but relaxed once I saw Danny sitting alone at a booth inside. His long legs were crossed underneath the table, and he aimlessly played with his straw in his tea. He was looking at a menu in front of him, his lips pursed thoughtfully as he read, and I smiled. He only looked up when I came to the table, leaning down to kiss his cheek. He grinned, his nose scrunching adorably, and I had to smile back. He reached across the table, his fingers finding mine, and the pads of fingers pressed into the back of my hand.

"I missed you," he said, and I smiled crookedly at him.

"Of course you did. Because I missed you too," I told him, tucking one of my legs underneath me.

I could see how honestly happy he was to see me. His big brown eyes, that I had fallen for instantly in the beginning and still amazed me, were happy but something was hidden behind his eagerness. He was talking, so I listened, but I was worried about him. While we ate, he fell uncharacteristically quiet and I'd had enough.

"Sweetheart, is there something you want to talk about?" I asked him gently, looking at him as I took a sip of my tea.

He laid his fork down, sighing, and peeked up at me. I reached over and took his hand.

"I don't want you to think you can't tell me things, Danny. I want to be here for you if you need anything," I told him, and saw him look at our hands.

"I don't want to talk about it right now," he mumbled, and I rubbed my thumb over his hand.

"Okay. We can talk when you're ready," I soothed him, and he nodded.

"Thank you," he whispered, peeking up through his lashes at me and smiling tentatively.

"You're welcome, baby," I said, smiling and rubbing his hand still. "I love you."

He smiled wider now. "I love you too."

* * *

A rogue, auburn curl fell on Danny's forehead, and he looked up at it. I smiled, reaching to brush it away, and pushed my fingers back through his hair. He smiled, his hands tightening slightly on my hips, and I left a kiss on his smooth forehead. His eyelashes tickled my cheeks when he closed his eyes, the long lashes brushing my skin. A mix one of us had made on Danny's iPod (probably Danny since it _was_ his iPod but we couldn't remember) was playing softly from the dock by the TV. A shudder rippled through Danny, continuing through me, as I shifted in his lap. He laid his head back on the back of the couch, and I smoothed my hands over his waist. His skin was hot and sweaty, but we were done with our previous activities.

After a lot of prodding, coaxing, and promising, Danny finally spilled. He'd had a horrible nightmare that I would never have wanted him to have. I would have rather had it than him be subjected to it, though the specific dream itself would have to be altered a bit for me to have it since Danny saw me get shot where I had my scar on my chest near my shoulder. Even though I hated to think of him being hurt, I didn't want him to be so upset. After he got it all out, almost crying, we made love with me on his lap sitting on the couch. He was a lot calmer now that endorphins had been released into his bloodstream. He looked sleepy but content to have me so close. He shifted unexpectedly, and we sank to lie sideways on the couch. He cradled me to his chest, holding me against him, and kissed my head.

"I love you," he murmured. I felt him smile.

* * *

Danny was working on a day that I wasn't. I was at home, enjoying a lazy, rainy (no thunderstorms) day. I wasn't expecting the doorbell to ring, jumping when it did. I crept to the door, but relaxed when I saw my big brother on the porch.

"God, took you long enough," he muttered when I finally let him in.

"It's my job to make you life _that much harder_, Jazz. Didn't you know that?" I teased him, smiling when he mumbled a 'fuck you.'

I told him to put his duffle bag in the guest bedroom and went back into the kitchen. I put another load of laundry in the washer and dryer, dumping the dry load of clothes on the couch. Jasper came back down a minute later, in dry clothes. He rooted through the fridge (just like him) and I let him. It was pretty much unspoken between us that if either of us were at the other's house, we were right at home and allowed pretty much whatever. Neither of us would ever deny the other anything anyway. It just wasn't our nature.

We sat at the kitchen table, eating (since I hadn't eaten lunch yet), and talking. I was distracted by catching up with my brother, that I didn't realized what I put in my mouth until I bit down, chewed, swallowed, and felt weird. I was having hard time breathing, my skin felt sweaty and clammy, and I had red patches breaking out on me.

"Tommy?" Jasper asked, looking me over. "What did you eat?"

I tried to tell him I didn't know, but I couldn't get a breath. I gripped the table, panting, and Jasper flew out of his chair.

"Shit, Tom, you ate a tomato. God, why do you even have those in the house? Why did I get them out and not say something before?"

He was thinking, pacing, and finally stopped, remembering what he was looking for.

"Where's your EpiPen?" He asked me, his hand on the back of my chair and the other on the table, leaning over me.

I pointed with a shaking hand to the medicine cabinet, trying to say something. He knew already though, rushing over to the cabinet. He dug through before he found my EpiPen. I was running out of time and we both knew it. I was so sweaty, and my throat felt like I was breathing through a tiny ass straw. I was wheezing, the sound hurting my ears, and I could barely make a noise when Jasper jammed the EpiPen into my thigh even though it hurt so bad. I couldn't help but cry. The pain coupled with the emotional stress of having an allergic reaction that bad was just too much. Jasper, the attentive and loving brother he was, pulled a chair closer to me, leaning over to hold me.

"Shhh," he soothed me as tears leaked down my cheeks. "You're okay. You're safe. Everything's alright, sweetie. Everything's good."

I was still crying, but now by myself as Jasper quickly got rid of the tomatoes and everything around me, when Danny came home.

"What happened?" He asked immediately, coming over to me and smoothing my hair.

"He ate a tomato and had a severe allergic reaction. I used his EpiPen. He's okay now. But we probably need to get him to the ER," Jasper told him, stroking my hair as he leaned over to set a glass on the table in front of me. "Get something to drink in a minute, honey. We don't need you exhausting yourself and getting dehydrated."

Jasper tossed my flip flops on the floor next to me once I'd drank something and all the food was away. Danny just snatched them up, pulling me into his arms.

"That works too." Jasper smiled, and opened the front door as Danny stepped out into the heat.

It was always me who had to go to the ER, and I hated it. I scowled the entire time like a petulant child, and Danny's patience, I'm sure, wore quite thin with me. I sat on the edge of the bed in the emergency room; Danny stood in front of me. His stone-colored cargo pants and smoky blue T-shirt were speckled with coffee, and I reached towards him, laying my still shaking hand on his hip.

"I'm sorry," I told him, looking up at him.

His face softened, his lips curving into a gentle smile. "You have nothing to apologize for, sweetheart. It's not your fault."

I bit my lip, and he cupped his hand around my cheek. Jasper, on the other side of the bed, rolled his eyes, but I just smiled and tightened my hand around the hem of my husband's T-shirt. Danny smiled down at me, leaning closer, and kissed me.

* * *

"Fag!"

My head snapped back, the skin on my right cheek breaking open, and blood oozed out. I touched my face as Danny shoved me behind him. The kid that had just punched me in the face was sprinting down the sidewalk. My hand locked around Danny's wrist, and I pulled him back to my side.

"Don't," I snarled at him. "He's not worth it."

Danny let out a long breath, looking down the street and then back at me. I used my T-shirt to wipe the blood off my cheek, but it wasn't any use. I sighed, and grabbed Danny's hand, pulling him along with me. He shoved his curls off his forehead, but they just fell back. My Jeep finally came into view and I unlocked it, going around to the back. I popped the trunk, digging through to find my first aid kit. I was upset and angry. I felt a hand on my back, and Danny pushed me out of the way. He nudged me gently, telling me to sit on the Jeep, and sifted through the first aid kit. I winced when he wiped at my cheek with an alcohol pad but just blinked up at him when he put a band-aid on the cut. It still bled, but I just wanted to go home.

"Come on. I'm taking you home. You're upset, and I can tell," Danny told me, holding my arm as I climbed off the Jeep.

He held my door open, and I climbed up into the passenger seat. My head was hurting, the stinging near my eye making both of them water, and I was suddenly so tired. I propped my elbow on the window, my forehead resting against the pad of my hand. I sighed and gripped Danny's hand when his fingers collided with mine.


	42. Defense

_Danny_

I was up before Tom, but I didn't mind. I'd kissed his cheek when I'd gotten up, brushing my thumb over the cut on his cheek. He was still so upset about that. We made extra sure that it wouldn't scar, but it was bruising. I made coffee, going out to sit on the back porch. I stretched my long legs out, sighing as I relaxed into my chair, and watched the ocean. My old, beat up 'Pitcher' (you know which kind) T-shirt was soft against my torso, and my jeans (that I had watched Tom take off me last night) were worn out and starting to tear. I took a sip of my coffee, smiling when I remembered Tom cursing at the pillows when they got in his way. He had wanted to shove me back onto the bed after getting my pants off, but he got less rough and playful as reality set in. So I made love to him instead, watching how his back arched sensually but almost violently off the bed with each downward thrust of my hips.

The screen door slapped against the doorframe, and I could almost hear my husband flinch. He padded up behind me, leaning down to kiss my cheek as I offered it to him. He eyed the (almost always) empty chair beside me, and then eyed my lap. He clucked his tongue, chuckling, and moved to the empty chair.

"What?" I asked, obviously not in on his amusement.

"Really, Danny, I have to tell you?" He laughed again, and raised his eyebrows toward my lap again.

I glanced down, and sighed angrily. "It's morning, for God's sake!"

He grinned at me, his ankles locking together in front of him. I rolled my eyes, and took a sip of my coffee.

"Are you feeling any better?" I asked him, reaching over to touch his arm.

He shrugged, looking down at his small hands in his lap.

"I was thinking of going down today to see our family. You can come if you want to, but you don't have to," I told him, smoothing my hand over the sleeve of his T-shirt.

"I'll come. I can see everybody, and I can always just rest there," he said, looking over at me.

His grey eyes were kind of sad, but he was tired and emotionally drained. I'd already tried everything to make him feel better about what happened two days ago, but he always pushed me away (not physically) and told me he was glad it had been him and not me. It wasn't long until we left, deciding to eat when we got hungry on the road. Tom yawned as he climbed out of the car, rubbing at his right eye carefully. While I grabbed our duffle bags out of the trunk, he walked up the sidewalk to the porch. He reached to knock, but the door was opened just before his knuckles could collide with it. Sam and Xavier stood on the other side, and Tom smiled, trying to be happy. I nudged him inside, giving my brother and his boyfriend a look as to not say anything about Tom's cheek. But that was thrown right out the window when we found Tom's family in the family room.

"Jesus, Tom, what happened to your cheek?" Jasper asked, and I just climbed the stairs angrily.

But it wasn't long before Tom came after me, nestling himself against my chest when he stepped into my arms. He buried his face in my chest, his back tense under my hands.

"Sweetheart, what happened?" I asked him, my fingertips pressing into the small of his back.

"Nothing. I just stood there, and didn't say anything. I came up here to just get away from them and find you," he mumbled, his voice soft and miserable.

"Lay down, baby. I'll take care of everyone downstairs," I told him, and he nodded.

He pulled off his shorts, curling up under the covers of my bed in his briefs and T-shirt. I smiled, leaving a kiss on his forehead, and brushed my knuckles over his soft—unhurt—cheek.

"Come get me if you need anything, honey. Or just call my cell."

He nodded, and settled deeper in my soft bed. I smoothed his hair back, kissing him softly, and left him in the dimly lit room with the curtains pulled tight. I watched him for a moment through the cracked door, and was satisfied when he was calm, relaxed, and dozing peacefully.

"Danny?"

I jumped when I heard my brother's voice behind me.

"What, Zay?" I asked him breathlessly, pushing my hair out of my face.

"I was sent as the spokesperson to see if you and Tom were okay," he said, shifting closer to me.

I nodded. "We're fine."

"Bullshit, Danny. Don't lie to me. You look horrible."

I looked over at him—his wireframe glasses, blond hair, brown eyes, and pale skin—and swallowed.

"I'll tell you later, Zay. Just, don't go into my room. Tom's taking a nap and he deserves it," I said, and he nodded silently.

My baby brother followed me back down the stairs, and I was practically mauled once I came back. My family (and Tom's) knew I wasn't going to spill if they kept up with all the questions. Xavier had retreated away from me, never being one of the ones to bombard me with questions, and into Sam's arms. My brother's boyfriend nuzzled against his pale hair, making Xavier smile and reach back to hold Sam closer.

"Tom's fine," I said once everyone stopped _freaking out_. "He's just tired and he's taking a nap right now."

"But what about his cheek?" Jasper demanded, obviously thinking I did that to him, which pissed me off to no end.

"You think _I_ did that to him?" I asked my brother-in-law, daring him to challenge me. "I don't think he would have come running up to _me_ when y'all asked about it. He was punched in the face by some kid who saw us holding hands. He called Tom a fag and socked him right in the face. Tom was so upset and he barely got out of bed for the past two days. He seeks me for comfort, not for me to hurt him. Don't _ever_ think I'd hurt him, because I would never lay a hand on him to cause him pain. You know it too. So think about what you know before you go assuming."

I stalked off into the kitchen, leaving my family to gawk after me. I knew who was behind me before I even turned around. I just dropped my head into my hands, my elbows placed on the island in front of me. I felt soft hands travel underneath my T-shirt, holding onto my waist, and then a warm, heavy weight lean against my back.

"I heard what you said."

I bit my lip, holding back a sob, and didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry my brother's an asshole. He's been like that all his life."

"It's not your job to apologize for him," I choked out.

"No, but I feel as though I have to, because he's such a _douche bag_!"

We were quiet for a moment.

"Danny, babe, if you need to cry, go ahead. Please."

I closed my eyes, and wished my tears would go away. But they didn't. So Tom held onto me as we sank to the floor. He gripped me tightly, pressing my head onto his shoulder, and tried to soothe me. No one came in for a very long time, and by the time Tom had calmed me somewhat I knew they were getting worried or suspicious or both. Tears still flowed weakly down my cheeks when there was a soft knock on the doorframe.

"Come in; we're fine," Tom assure whoever was there.

They knelt next to us, and touched my back. I sighed, wishing I wasn't crying right now, because when I looked it was Xavier; Sam stood a ways behind him.

"Don't try to feel weird about crying in front of us. I puked my guts up _and then_ cried in front of y'all," Sam told me, smiling and trying to make me feel better.

I smiled finally because it worked. Tom wiped tears off my cheek, and I looked up at him. He smiled, touching my jaw, and kissed me gently. I felt Xavier's hand, warm and soft, rake through my curls, tugging out tangles very gently.

"See?" He said, sitting down next to me. Sam came up behind him, settling right behind him and pulling his back to his chest. "Now, I get to make you feel better and take care of you."

I smiled and leaned over to kiss my brother's cheek. His cheeks turned slightly pink, but he smiled at me. Tom's hands found my waist, his fingers smoothing over the sensitive skin, and he kissed my head. His hands hovered near me as I stood up. He stood next to me, leaning up to press his lips to mine. He smiled when he pulled back, his lips curving gently into a crooked smile. Sam laughing pulled me back to reality. He shoved playfully at Xavier, making my brother laugh and grin. Life went on, even when you felt as though time itself had stopped.

* * *

Sam padded downstairs in the early morning the next day, yawning. He had on blue and white Adidas soccer shorts and a grey T-shirt. His brown hair was very messy; his blue eyes half-lidded and tired.

"Morning," I said, smiling at him.

He smiled back, raking a hand roughly through his hair as he passed Tom and me on the couch. I kissed Tom's forehead, smiling when he smoothed his hand over my thigh sleepily. He dipped his finger in his coffee, swirling it around, and snuggled closer to my side. I rubbed his side and his grey eyes, more awake and bright, peered up at me. I kissed his nose, and he closed his eyes against my kiss. A soft, sighing sound came from me, and he looked up at me. He blinked a little tiredly, still waking up, and I pursed my lips against the smooth skin of my husband's forehead.

"Now ain't that precious?"

We both looked towards the stairs, scowling at my brother and his boyfriend. Sam must have walked back through the family room (or disappeared up the stairway that led back upstairs from in the kitchen) because there he stood with Xavier at the bottom of the stairs, smiling at us.

"We were just kidding. We think you guys are adorable," Xavier told us, nudging his glasses a little higher up the bridge of his nose.

"Good, you better," I teased them.

Tom folded himself closer to me when Sam and Xavier lost interest in harassing us and moved into the kitchen. I loved my little brother to no end and Sam was the best ever addition to our family. I'd never trade them for the world.


	43. Friends

_Danny_

My knee bounced anxiously, and I wiped my hands on my shorts. I was waiting for Tom at a booth in a popular restraint owned by two gay men and frequented by the gay community. I glanced around, spotting a couple next to the window, though it was gloomy and about to rain outside. Neither of them seemed to care, one was peering out the window—his clear blue eyes flickering over each passing person and car—and the other was still eating slowly. The one watching the outside world turned to his partner and lifted his hands—long fingered and slender. The one eating looked up; his pale brown eyes were intent. The first man signed something to his partner and his partner smiled, signing back.

"I love you too," he murmured though his partner probably couldn't hear him. I'm sure he could read lips, and it was precious anyway. He leaned over and cupped his hand underneath his lover's chin. Their lips molded together and I smiled.

"Why are you smiling?"

I jumped, _almost_ shrieking, and the couple I had been watching looked over. I blushed, ducking my head, and saw them smile. I turned to see Tom laying his sweatshirt on the booth next to him and settling down. He smiled at me, and I glared at him.

"You ruin everything," I muttered, but had to smile when he stuck his tongue out at me.

"So," Tom started, after we ordered drinks. "Why were you smiling?"

I nodded my head towards the couple I was previously watching and Tom glanced over. The deaf man was signing again, making his partner smile. Tom watched them intently, a look of realization passing over his face after a moment.

"The man that's not deaf—with the brown eyes—works with me at the office. He was in the Air Force for a while when he first started, but then he decided that wasn't for him and joined the Army. He's served since he was twenty but he was discharged when we was hurt. He's really nice," Tom explained, and I tilted my head to the side, interested.

Tom waved shyly when the couple noticed him. When they were leaving, they came over to talk.

"This is my husband, Danny," Tom introduced me. "This is Calix—" he pointed to the brown-eyed one "and . . . I'm sorry you never told me his name."

"Simon," Calix introduced his partner, touching his back. Simon grinned, his blue eyes bright and happy. It was great to see someone who's overcome an immobility to be so . . . full of life.

Calix signed to Simon what Tom had said about me, motioning towards me, and smiled at me while Simon watched his hands. Simon's face lit up, and he smiled towards me. We talked for a little, catching up.

With a promise to call them sometime, they left and we ate.

"Calix has talked about his "partner" being deaf, but I could never figure out if it was a man or woman he lived with. He's one of those that you just don't know if they're gay or not. Unlike you; I mean look at you. You practically scream gay," Tom teased me, smiling.

I glowered at him, but smiled when he fought me for the check. I let him pay since he was right about me always paying for everything.

"That was delicious. Thank you, sweetheart," I murmured, giving him a kiss.

He smiled, and kissed me back. "You're welcome, baby. Anytime."

We got home just as the rain started, piling into our bed with Tom's seasons of _Brothers & Sisters_. Whenever we finished a disc, Tom somehow persuaded me to get up to change it. He smiled at me from the bed, stretching his legs out, and I grimaced. I tugged my sweatpants up a little since they'd ridden down and changed out the disc for Tom. Tom stretched again, sighing, and untangled his sweatpants from around his legs. I smiled, climbing back in bed with him, and he snuggled up to my side.

* * *

My knuckles collided softly with the front door. Tom stood next to me, cradling the bottle of wine we brought, and smiled up at me. There was a rustling behind the door, then a muffled _thump_ and a muttered curse. We waited, and then the door swung open.

"Hi," Calix breathed, smiling at us. He shoved a lock of dark brown hair out of his eyes.

"Hey." Tom smiled, and Calix let us in.

The house I assumed Calix and Simon shared was decorated just like a beach house would be even though it wasn't on the beach. The house was painted sea foam green, light blue, and white inside; decorated with seashells, starfish, and seahorses. It was very homey.

Simon was in the kitchen, tossing a salad, and smiled at us when we walked in. He signed something at Calix, and he smiled, signing back. We never pried when it came to them signing. We figured Calix would tell us if we were allowed to know. Calix turned to us, but not before winking at his partner.

"He says that he's glad you two didn't dress up since we're wearing jeans and T-shirts," Calix explained, smiling.

"We debated on that, but decided that it didn't really matter since we're friends," I told them, and Tom sat the bottle of wine on the island.

Simon reached over, sliding the bottle closer and read the label. He nodded, approving. He smiled at us and slid it towards Calix. He signed at him, and Calix nodded before reading the label as well.

"Nice," he commented. "We've had this before. It's amazing."

"Really? My parents own the winery. It's their wine," I told him.

"Whoa, that is. So. Fucking. Awesome. Pardon my French." Calix laughed, and signed at Simon.

Simon gaped, and Tom and I laughed.

"I'm glad you like it," I said, and Tom wandered away and I turned to follow

Calix kissed Simon's cheek before following Tom and I to "give us a tour." Tom turned, glancing back into the kitchen where Simon was taking something out of the oven, his blond hair falling in his face. Simon brushed his back, poking at whatever was on the tray before closing the oven and setting the tray on the stove to cool. He was a very diligent cook and I was impressed. After "the tour" when we came back into kitchen, Simon had set the table. He was getting something else out of the oven, and smiled when Calix came up behind him. Calix's arm wrapped around Simon's slender waist, and while Simon put what looked like crab cakes on plates Calix swayed easily from side to side. Simon moved with him, his body visibly relaxing, but kept working. When Calix's lips found Simon's neck, I could tell he wanted nothing more than to give into him, but he smacked him lightly and bumped him with his hip. Calix feigned hurt, but Simon just grinned.

When Simon was concentrating again on his plating, Tom leaned a bit closer to Calix.

"Tom, you look like you _really_ need to ask something. What is it?" Calix prodded him.

Tom bit his lip, and Calix stopped pouring wine.

"What wrong?" He asked Tom, shifting a little closer.

"I don't want to seem rude," Tom said, his cheeks turning pink.

"You won't be. I'm assuming you both will have more than a few questions since this is something that's obviously not common for either of you. He _really_ can't hear you and if you speak now while he's distracted he won't ever know. That sounds horrible, but it's very true," Calix told us, prodding Tom along.

"Can he laugh?" Tom finally spit out.

Calix pondered. "Yes, and no. He can, but it's not very "normal" per se. He's very self-conscious about it, and will barely do it in front of me. Obviously, I think it's perfectly fine and love hearing it, but I won't force him to do anything."

Tom nodded quickly, and Calix smiled, before adding something.

"He'll giggle, and I think that's fucking adorable, but usually not around other people. He may do it around you once he's more comfortable, but," he shrugged at this point, "one can never know."

Calix jumped a little when Simon snuck up on him, and Simon smiled against Calix's neck. I smiled, tugging my husband closer, and kissed his head. Tom smiled up at me, his grey eyes content.

"That was amazing," Tom told Calix, meaning for him to sign to Simon. But Simon nodded, smiling at Tom. He must have read his lips.

We sat at the table after we finished, talking and laughing. My arm, almost as always, was stretched out across the back of Tom's chair. Tom laughed at something Calix said, throwing his head back against my arm. Calix smiled, laughing with him, but watched Simon when he signed something at him. He nodded at Simon, signing back. I didn't exactly like not knowing what they were signing, but unless I had enough self-discipline to learn American Sign Language I'd never know. Calix smiled, kissing Simon's cheek, and turned back towards us.

"Simon thinks your dimples are cute." Calix grinned when Tom blushed hard, and ducked his head.

I laughed, and rubbed my husband's arm. "Sweetheart, it was a compliment. You know I think your dimples are adorable."

He was so shy, but Calix and Simon didn't seem to mind. Calix just pretended to reprimand Simon for embarrassing Tom, but then kissed him and laughed while Simon grinned. He winked at Tom, mortifying him further, and I laughed. I kissed Tom's forehead and tried to make it better. He finally just thanked Simon, smiling, and I rubbed his back. We stayed a little longer before we were all tired. Tom and I let Simon and Calix keep the rest of the wine since they liked it and we had more at home.

We stood on the porch in the cool, night air and Calix went to shake Tom's hand, but hesitated.

"Naw, we're gay. We can hug," Tom joked, hugging Calix.

He laughed, and hugged Tom back. Simon felt fragile almost underneath my hands, but then again he was even smaller than Calix, who was Tom's height. But he patted my arm when he pulled away, and smiled. He touched Tom's shoulder, kissing his cheek, and hugged him. Tom smiled, hugging him back, and I could see how honestly comfortable he was with the new couple. Calix was thicker almost, with ropy muscle down his back. But I loved them both as close friends now, and though they were both physically different it couldn't have made a difference to me. They waved from their porch, Simon tucked underneath Calix's arm. Tom waved back as I pulled out of their tiny neighborhood, and sighed once their house started to shrink in the rearview mirror.


	44. Life

Calix

Simon gasped—a soft breathy sound. His vocabulary consisted mainly of quiet sounds of passing air. His head pressed back into the pillow, the tendons in his neck straining against the pale skin. He tried his hardest to keep his eyes open when I made love to him, so if I spoke he could figure out what I was saying. He pretty much had me down to a science, and I loved it. It made our relationship easy and flowing just like any other couple's. I shivered, making him groan, when he wrapped his legs around my waist. His lean body was practically writhing beneath me on our bed, and I attempted to hit as deep as possible—knowing how much he liked it.

"_Cali_," he mouthed, his narrow hips lifting of the bed.

I moaned, hanging my head as my hips pushed harder against his. I felt the soft brushing of his full lips against my cheek, and looked up. He smiled at me, smoothing my hair out of my face though it just fell down again.

"_Slow_," he mouthed, leaning up to kiss me softly.

I nodded, slowing my pace. He sighed, settling back against the bed. He tilted his head to the side, watching me with a sleepy, content smile on his beautiful face. I smiled back, not being able to help myself, and watched as his back arched a few inches off the bed. He sucked in a harsh breath, gasping out a soft moan, and I knew I'd hit just the right spot. He whimpered—the sound going straight to my groin. I sucked a breath in through my teeth, but relaxed my jaw when I felt his soft fingers brush against the skin there.

"_Easy_." His lips formed the word, then stretched into an easy smile.

I nodded fast, but couldn't help that I felt _this close_ to losing it. Just as I thought this, Simon arched almost violently beneath me, and I gasped. I felt his muscles spasm around me, milking me for all I was worth. I held myself above him as long as I could, but then his soft hands were guiding me down next to him. Still shaking, I curled up against him. His hands ghosted down my sweaty back, drawing gossamer trails in the wetness. His lips found my forehead as he smoothed my obnoxious hair back. He smiled when I shivered under the coolness of the fan, and brushed his thumb over my temple. Though I was mainly a top, the mostly dominant one in the relationship, he always took advantage of the times when I was tired or sick to love on me. I smiled sleepily, and he smiled back, brushed my hair back again.

"_I love you_," he mouthed, emphasizing each word so I could catch it.

"I love you too, my baby," I said, hoping he understood since I put extra emphasis on the words.

He smiled, his clear blue eyes bright and loving, and I was pretty sure he caught it.

"_Sleep_." His lips found mine, but only for a moment. He pulled away, making me relax, and pursed his lips to my forehead.

I blinked tiredly, suddenly overcome with exhaustion, and nodded weakly. My husband gently ran one hand through my hair soothingly, continuing his calming assault on my forehead with his lips. What he lacked with words, he made up for in touch. He was a very touchy feely person—for obvious reasons—but that made our relationship that much better. It wasn't long before I had a hard time keeping my eyes open. He cradled my head in his long-fingered hand, pressing it against his shoulder, and I complied as we shifted to lie more comfortably. I was out in a second, the fan finally soothing me instead of freezing me, and my husband was enough warmth to make me comfortably sleepy.

I woke to a still warm, empty bed. I stretched, humming, and wilted back against the bed. The door was nudged open, and my darling husband stood there, smiling widely at me. I smiled back, patting the spot next to me. He padded in, mesh shorts riding dangerously low on his slim hips, and sat down beside me. He reached over to his nightstand for a second, his slender fingers closing around something, and sat back. He slid his ring onto his finger, leaning down to kiss me. He signed 'I love you' to me, smiling down at me.

"I love you too," I said as I signed it back.

He signed to me that it was hot outside already, grimacing slightly. I smiled, smoothing my hand over his naked waist, and signed that we could go swimming. He shook his head, reminding me he didn't like deep water. I nodded, though I already knew this, and rephrased that we could just play in the surf. He liked this, nodding, and signed that he had made us breakfast and to come downstairs in a little bit. I kissed him before he left. In the doorway, he held up his thumb, pinky, and index fingers to me. I returned the gesture, blowing him a kiss.

Our dog—a German Sheppard named Andrew (Andy for short)—came barreling through the door. He launched himself onto the bed, licking me and practically trampling me. I laughed hard, unable to escaped his tongue, and rubbed down his back. Once I was successfully covered in black fur and wet, I got up. I found a pair of jeans—the jeans I'd watched Simon take off of me last night—and padded downstairs whilst zipping and buttoning them.

Andy ran down the stairs past me, almost knocking Simon over when he walked down the hall to meet me. I reached out, touching Simon's arm, but he was steady by the time I hopped the stairs to him. Since we had no desire to be parents to a child, we had a dog. I gave Simon a kiss, and turned to go back to the kitchen. Simon knelt down to feed our "baby" while I started coffee and got the pitcher of sweet tea out of the fridge.

While I was pouring tea into two glasses, I heard Andy crunching at his Kibbles 'n Bits. But what I felt was two arms snake around my waist and a pair of soft lips on my neck. I smiled, leaning back to kiss the mop of blond hair next to my face. I felt Simon's fingers press gently in the small of my back, kneading hard enough to make me moan, and he smiled against the skin of my shoulder. When he pulled away, I gave him a pleading look not to stop, but he shook his head. I pouted, but carried the two glasses to the table.

Andy begged for scraps of bacon or sausage and, the bad parents we are, we gave him some. Andy, though he was always excited to see us in the morning or whenever we came home, was calming down as he got older. He was only two. I reached across the table as Simon leaned down to give Andy some bacon, and touched my husband's hand. He jumped a little, startled since he didn't see me, and I withdrew my hand. He shook his head, reaching over to link our hands together. He smiled, his clear blue eyes sparkling, and squeezed my hand.

I let him finish his coffee and tea, taking the dishes to the sink. I rinsed them, putting them in the dishwasher, and then turned back to Simon. He smiled at me, and absently stroked Andy's ears. Andy got up and padded over to me, nudging my leg, and I knew he wanted to go outside. I let him out into the fenced backyard, and Simon followed me when I stepped out into the shade of the two trees we had a hammock hanging from. Simon pushed me towards the hammock, signing he'd be right back, and disappeared back into the house. I settled carefully in the hammock, being sure not to send myself into the grass, and closed my eyes. I stiffened when I felt the hammock shift, but relaxed when I felt another warm body press against mine.

"Shhh," Simon hushed me, and I relaxed.

He was very careful and slow with his movements while he shifted in the hammock. His warm fingers brushed against my belly as he undid the button on my jeans. I didn't fight him, knowing how much he used love making as a way to better communicate and connect with me. And I did love to have him inside me. He did just that. His hips rocked against mine slowly, making the hammock sway only slightly, and I gasped. He smiled, nuzzling against my cheek, and ran his fingers through my hair. I kept very quiet so the neighbors wouldn't hear us, but that was very hard when Simon hit my prostate and sent me over the edge. He crushed his lips to mine, silencing me, and thrust harder as he got closer to his climax. He wretched his lips away from mine as he came, breathy pants coming from him, and I reached to rub his back, rocking my hips up to prolong his pleasure.

He was gasping heavily, unable to breathe properly for a moment, and it didn't help that Andy ran underneath the hammock at that time. We were thrown to the ground, and I landed on top of Simon.

"Oh," I groaned, but laughed. "Fuck that hurts."

Simon giggled, but froze as he sat up. He arched his back, the bones popping, and then sat up. He pulled me onto his lap, his lips finding my forehead, and tried to make it better. I smiled, kissing underneath his jaw, and he grinned. We dressed in the hot sun, petting Andy as he ran by, and Simon tucked himself under my arm. He seemed so small and fragile to me, his waist tiny under my hand.

* * *

"So, how did you two meet?" Tom asked while I signed at Simon.

He smiled at them, nodding, and looked at me to tell the story.

"We met on a plane from Seattle to Atlanta about—what?—seven, eight years ago. We were both moving down here and Simon couldn't ask the flight attendant something because his translator wasn't with him. I knew some sign language from being in the Air Force and Army, so I tried to help him. But he just motioned for something to write on and I gave him my notebook I was doodling in. After that, we talked via writing in the notebook for the rest of the six hour plane ride. We gave each other our phone numbers and promised to meet again sometime. We could barely stay away from each other, and met up again about two or three weeks after once we were both settled down in Atlanta. After a few weeks of dating, we moved in together. After a few years together, we moved here."

Simon nudged my shoulder with his, grinning. I smiled, putting my hand on his leg, and he linked our hands together.

"Well that's precious. Honestly. I bet you two did it on the first date. Couldn't keep your hands off of each other," Tom joked, smiling when Danny nodded, agreeing with him.

Simon scowled, obviously knowing what Tom said.

"Don't worry. We slept together on the first date. It was pretty amazing too. Tommy's first time," Danny teased, knocking his husband's shoulder with his hand.

Tom scoffed, smacking Danny. "Shut up!"

"Well, it's the truth. Do you want them to spill or not?" Danny defended himself, and Simon continued to scowl.

I rubbed his arm, trying to get him to relax, but he just shook his head. I signed to him, asking if I could tell them or not. Simon sighed, but his muscles relaxed and he shrugged.

"We slept together on the second date. There. Are you happy?" I said, my hand linking back with Simon's.

Danny and Tom both nodded, smiling. Both Simon and I rolled our eyes, laughing when we realized we did it together.

* * *

I heard the water running late at night, and peeked into the bathroom. I could see the outline of my husband's slender, petite body in the shower. I tugged off my shorts and briefs, and carefully pulled the shower curtain back. Simon was standing still now, and waiting for me to get in.

_I know you're there. Get in,_ he signed to me, turning around.

I smiled, and climbed in. He eagerly opened his arms for me, and kissed me when I wrapped my arms around his waist. His arms circled my neck, and his lips found mine easily. Once we were done kissing, Simon ducked back under the water, his blond hair darkening to a very pale brown. I smiled, smoothing my hands over his lean back, and left a kiss on his shoulder. He smiled, water pouring over his face, and kissed me under the stream of water. I smiled against his soft lips, pulling him up. He jumped up, wrapping his legs around my waist, and I pressed his back against the wall. He gasped when I moved to worship his neck, and his hips pressed forward against mine. I smiled, and continued to kiss my way around his neck and then up to his jaw.

But it never went any further than that. We were both too tired, and so once we were dry we climbed into bed. Simon, so little in our big bed, curled up against my chest. I wrapped him in my arms, his lithe back moving with his even breaths. I smiled, rubbing my husband's back to soothe him enough for him to go to sleep. His long, soft eyelashes brushed my shoulder when he closed his eyes, and he nuzzled even closer.


	45. Favor

_Tom_

"Where have you been?"

I winced, knowing I was caught. I felt my face and neck get hot, and I ducked my head. I knew I should have left Danny a note, but I didn't. I had needed to get out fast.

"I was at Calix and Simon's," I told him.

"Why?"

I swallowed. "Simon was sick, and Calix needed my help."

"So you couldn't leave me a note?"

"No, I needed to get over there. He's really sick, Danny," I explained, my voice becoming pleading.

I knew I'd messed up, and he had a right to be angry. When he lifted his hand, I flinched. He withdrew his hand, and I vaguely saw his mouth open in shock.

"Sweetheart, I wasn't going to hit you." Danny's voice was soft, concerned, and careful. His hand was warm and soft on my cheek as he pulled my head up to look at him. "I would never hit you."

"I know," I whispered, but was still jumpy. Danny wound his arm around my waist, pulling me to his side, and we moved into the kitchen.

Danny's hands circled my waist, and he lifted me up onto the counter. He touched my jaw, his brown eyes sad and apologetic.

"I'm sorry," he said, his thumb smoothing over my cheek. "I shouldn't have gotten angry."

I shook my head, capturing his hand in mine. "You had every right to by angry with me. I didn't leave a note or anything. I messed up; it's not your fault."

He kissed me softly, smiling when he pulled away, and turned away. I was about to ask what he was doing, but quieted when he got down a box of Celestial Seasonings: Sleepytime Vanilla tea. I smiled, and he winked at me.

* * *

"You can sit on the couch and watch TV or something Danny. Help yourself to whatever's in the fridge. Tom and me shouldn't be too long," Calix told my husband when he let us into the house.

Danny raised an eyebrow, but I just shoved him towards the family room. Calix looked exhausted and distraught. He gave me a weak smile, but I could see right through him.

"You need to sleep," I told him. "When was the last time you _did_ sleep?"

He thought for a second, which was a bad sign. "Couple days ago…? I think."

I touched his shoulder. "Go take a nap. I'll take care of Simon."

"Bu—"

"No," I cut him off. "Go. He'll be okay without you for a few hours. Danny and I are off today and we have nothing better to do."

Calix sighed, smiling tiredly. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now go."

I followed him upstairs. Instead of going into the master bedroom with me, he padded into the guest room, yawning. I heard the bed creak softly and then a tired sigh. I smiled, knowing he'd be happier when he woke up. Simon was stretched out in the king-sized bed in their bedroom. He smiled, but it was miserable and weak. I smiled back, and reached for the notebook on the nightstand.

_Calix is sleeping in the guest room_, I wrote on the paper.

I gave it to him, watching his tired blue eyes flicker over each word. He reached for the pen, and his cold fingers brushed mine as he took it from me.

_He deserves it. Thank you for coming on such short notice._

I smiled, nodding, and he touched my hand, gently squeezing it. He wrote something else on the paper, showing me.

_Hope you have a strong stomach._

I smiled, nodding.

_I do. Don't worry. I was kind of a medic in the Army, but I also was out in the field fighting. I'm good with the medical stuff._

He nodded, yawning, and mouthed, "_Sorry._"

I waved it off, smiling. I smoothed his hair out of his face, shocked at how hot his skin was.

_You need to sleep_, I wrote on the paper.

He shrugged when he read it.

_I have a hard time sleeping during the day just like Cali. He's been trying to get me to nap for hours. He's tried everything, poor thing. I feel bad that he's so exhausted that he _can_ sleep at two in the afternoon._

I nodded, knowing how he felt. Napping was difficult for me too. I just didn't like to waste any daylight hours. But Simon reached over to his nightstand, setting the notebook and pen down. He settled more comfortably and smiled at me. I smiled back, and patted his hand.

_Have a good nap :)_ I scrawled on the paper before sitting it back down, and he shook his head, grinning.

I left him, pulling the door halfway closed. I had successfully gotten two people asleep in less than fifteen minutes. Danny was settled on the couch, his long legs tucked underneath him, and I leaned down to kiss his cheek when I walked past him. He smiled up at me, and patted the spot next to him.

"They're both sleeping," I told Danny when he asked.

He laughed, and kissed behind my ear. My phone buzzed and I picked it up off the end table. I opened the text message. It was from Simon.

"Oh shit! Be right back," I said to Danny, taking off towards the stairs.

But Calix was kneeling next to the bed as Simon threw up in the little plastic trashcan. He'd beat me to it. I stood in the doorway, just watching them. I'd seen Calix sweet and everything with Simon, but this was different. Simon was crying, which made it _that much_ more pitiful. Calix was stroking Simon's sweaty, tangled blond hair, talking to him soothingly. It didn't make much of a difference because Simon couldn't hear him, but Calix's lips were pressed to his temple so I guess he could feel it. I couldn't move; all I could do was watch. Once Simon had calmed down, his stomach settling, he looked up at Calix. He blinked his teary blue eyes at his partner, sniffling. Calix smoothed his hair back, wiping his eyes, and kissed his forehead. I slipped out of the doorway slowly, leaving them alone, and went to find Danny.

It was twenty minutes later when Calix came downstairs. He looked a lot less tired, but he was still so worried about Simon. He got something to drink, coming to lounge in the recliner near the wall.

"Simon just threw up again. God, I feel so horrible for him. I just want to make it better, but I can't," he said, rubbing his hands over his face.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. He'll be okay though. I know it's hard to see him sick, but you just have to know that he'll get better," Danny told him, reaching over to touch Calix's leg.

He smiled weakly at Danny. "Thanks."

Knowing we still had questions, and wanting any excuse to talk about Simon, Calix explained pretty much everything to us.

"Simon was born deaf, and he never learned to talk. It would be even harder for him to learn to talk now since he's an adult. He wishes so badly that he could hear me speak and hear my voice, or talk to me instead of signing. He's _very_ good at reading lips, and he can feel me form words against his skin. Since he's without one of his senses, all the others are heightened like crazy. His touch his so sensitive. He can hear so well. He can taste individual things that I didn't even know were in something I was eating. His eyesight is beyond 20/20. He makes up for his disability, and he seems all normal except for his one missing sense."

He was going on and on, and I knew it was good for him to get it all out. He has no one to talk to about how he has to deal with Simon's disability all alone. Simon's subjected to it physically and emotionally but Calix must deal with the partner's grief of having to protect the disabled one from whatever they see is a threat. He sat up in the chair when his phone buzzed. He snatched it off the end table, anxious to see if Simon needed something. He sighed, smiling in relief.

"He just wants some ginger ale," he said, getting up.

I'm sure Calix was ecstatic Simon could finally keep ginger ale down, but when Simon started in on solid foods everything went downhill again. So he stuck to Coke, ginger ale, and other sodas to settle his stomach. Danny and I, on every free time we had nothing to do, hung out with them to keep them company. Andy, who we recently just met since they mostly kept him locked up when company was over, took greatly to Danny's lap since he was big enough to handle his weight.

Simon came downstairs one evening, pale and shaky, but he wanted to get out of the bedroom. He was hot, sweaty, and feverish and the upstairs was even hotter. Calix turned the air conditioning on higher, and pulled Simon's T-shirt off. Simon's face was extremely pale except for his cheeks which were scarlet. His skin was covered in a thin sheen of sweat and he just whimpered pitifully when Calix smoothed his hands over his chest.

"Oh God, sweetheart, you're so hot," Calix murmured against Simon's palm since he was touching his cheek. He pursed his lips against Simon's hand, smiling at him.

Simon's hands were weak and incredibly shaky, but he signed to Calix. He nodded, and kissed Simon's forehead before moving into the kitchen. Simon looked after him apologetically, obviously hating that he had to use Calix as his slave almost. He blinked, his blue eyes exhausted and sad, and settled back in the chair. He mouthed a very grateful 'thank you' to Calix when he came back with a ginger ale, but Calix just shook his head, smiling, and kissed Simon's forehead. Calix settled in the double reclining chair, and Simon curled up with him. Calix kissed Simon's head once they were both settled, and Simon sighed heavily. He was still hot and practically panting but he just wanted to relax with his partner. Simon fell asleep a lot quicker with his head resting on Calix's chest over his heart.

I noticed a silver ring on Calix's left hand and a matching one on Simon's.

"Are you two married?" I asked Calix, and he looked up from stroking Simon's honey-colored hair out of his face.

"Yeah," Calix answered slowly before a look of realization passed over his face. "Holy shit I totally forgot to tell you guys that. I knew you two were married, but I forgot to say something. I'm so sorry."

I waved it off, smiling. "It's fine. When did you two get married?"

"About three years ago. I know, we've lived together for like seven or eight years and we've only been married like three or four," Calix said, shaking his head.

"No. It's perfectly fine. You two lived together for a while before committing yourselves. That's a good thing. Danny and I are lucky to be together still because we threw ourselves into getting married," I soothed him, and he stroked his hand down his husband's back. "You're great for Simon. He needs someone who's so protective of him you'll never let him out of your sight. You're great with sign language and he needs that. You're perfect together."

Calix blushed, kissing Simon's head, and smiled.


	46. Visitors

_Danny_

Calix yanked open the door, all the skin that was showing flushed and covered in sweat. He was almost panting, his shorts wet in spots.

"Everything alright?" Tom asked him, stepping up into the house.

"Our air conditioner is broken. Simon says he's freezing cold but he's burning up and I don't know how to help him anymore. I've made him take cool showers. I have fans from the basement and our neighbors houses set up. I have ice packs on him. He's miserable and I'm about to lose it."

I could definitely see that he was about to lose it. His lower lip trembled, his face threatening to collapse. He looked exhausted, sweaty, and about to cry.

"Have _you_ taken a cool shower?" Tom asked him.

He shook his head, biting his still quivering lower lip. Tom shut the door behind me, then turning back to his friend. He smoothed Calix's sweaty hair away from his scarlet face.

"Shhh," he murmured. "You're no good to Simon if you're not feeling well. Go upstairs, take a cool shower, and change your clothes. Then come downstairs, get something to drink, and sit with your husband in front of the fans. Danny and I will take care of everything else. You're only job right now is to relax and just let us handle it."

Calix nodded, still on the verge of tears, and turned towards the stairs. He padded silently upstairs, disappearing into the bathroom, and I smiled at Tom.

"Well done," I told him, rubbing my hand down his back.

He smiled back. "It's in my blood."

I nodded, and we ventured towards the kitchen and family room. Simon was curled up on the couch, shivering but sweating, and didn't hear us come in. He shot off the couch when Tom touched him, his shorts wrinkled and sweaty. His blue eyes, purple bruises underneath the dull color, were frightened until he saw us.

"It's just us," Tom soothed him, but Simon still looked uneasy.

He fumbled with a pen on the table, scrawling something on his palm. He held his hand out and, in his shaky but legible handwriting, read: _Cali?_

"He's upstairs taking a shower. Do you need him?" Tom spoke slowly, emphasizing each word for Simon to catch it.

Simon shook his head, and plopped himself back on the couch. He curled back up, his eyes flickering over the English subtitles on the TV. He looked sad, and lonely. He missed Calix even though he was only upstairs. Tom, noticing this as well, gently touched Simon's shoulder again when he passed him. He sat down next to him, his hand not leaving Simon's arm, and found the little notebook on the floor. Simon raked an unstable hand through his blond hair, making it stick up with sweat. Tom borrowed the pen, scribbling something down. He showed Simon and he seemed to sink in defeat. He took the pen, his usually neat handwriting becoming chicken scratch, and he passed the notebook back to Tom. I looked over Tom's shoulder to read the notebook.

Tom: _Is something wrong?_

Simon: _I just want Cali. It's pathetic, but I rely on him so much that I don't want him to leave my side._

Tom: _I understand, sweetie. But it's not pathetic. You need him, and—believe me—he needs you just as much. He loves to have you to dote on and take care of. It makes him feel better to know you're safe and taken care of._

Simon: _Really? He's never said anything about that. But I can see how much he loves me. I guess that's what keeps me sane._

Tom: _He really does love you. Don't ever doubt that. He pretty much thinks you hung the moon._

Simon grinned now, ecstatic to hear that he was loved that much. He looked happier, and he almost squealed when Calix snuck up on him. He grinned wider, kissing his husband, and Calix laughed.

"What are we doing?" He asked against Simon's cheek.

Simon signed excitedly to him, and it was amazing to see just one person practically heal him in less than fifteen seconds. Calix watched Simon with a gentle smile, stroking his husband's hair away from his face as he signed to him. He nodded occasionally but when Simon's eyes downcast, filling with tears, he sighed sadly. He leaned over the back of the couch, hugging Simon. Calix's hand tangled in Simon's messy honey-colored hair. He pressed his lips to his husband's neck, a soft 'Shhh' coming from him. He kissed Simon's temple, shifting a little to bend more comfortably towards his husband.

"Simon, baby, come on; get up," Calix murmured softly, his damp hair falling into his face.

Simon stood shakily, tired and upset. He padded along with Calix, sniffling. Calix came back a few minutes later, wiping his shoulder off. Tears blotted the fabric, but he didn't seem to care at all.

"He's tired," Calix explained simply, but I could tell he wanted nothing more than to be with Simon upstairs.

"Go be with him, Calix. We'll leave, and you can spend some time with him. If you need to come over to our house to get him into a cooler house, don't hesitate to call or just come over. Really, we've got a gigantic house and nothing to use it for. Tell Simon we hope he gets better," Tom said to Calix, and he nodded silently.

Tom kissed his cheek, and Calix smiled then, kissing his cheek back. I touched his back, ducking to kiss his cheek as well. His lips were warm and soft against my cheek when he wouldn't let me straighten up. He laughed and walked us to the door.

* * *

It was devastating to learn that Calix's family, though sounding very open-minded and accepting (especially since they were from Seattle), had kicked him out when he told them he was gay. He had two brothers, one older and one younger, but his parents had turned them both against him. So he moved away from Seattle, vowing never to go back unless he was with his husband or whoever he was dating at the moment. Now that he had gotten over the hurt (somewhat) all he wanted was revenge. He wanted to show his family that being gay had given him a very happy life with the man he loved and a dog. I told him to go for it. Then Tom had punched me in the arm, scoffing.

Simon's parents had loved, even adored, him. They'd protected him since he had his disability, and then even more so when he came out. They knew he was a double minority now, what with being disabled and gay. They protected him as long as they could, hating when he moved from their little farmhouse in Pennsylvania (he was born in Portland, Oregon) to Atlanta and then to Charleston with Calix. They loved Calix, since they only had one son. (They'd stopped having children after Simon was declared congenitally deaf. They didn't want to risk having another child without hearing.) But that love and protection ended when Simon's parents were killed in 9/11. They'd been in New York for a vacation since their only son was living on his own and they were both retired. Too bad their vacation had been so close to the World Trade Center that day.

Since Tom and I decided a week with our family would successfully drive us insane, we asked Simon and Calix to go with us when Simon was feeling a lot better.

"There _will_ be drama," Tom coaxed, grinning.

Simon threw his head back, a gasping laugh coming from him. They agreed to come with us, saying they could use some interesting drama. We all piled into the Jeep, though Tom didn't want them to have to be squished in the back with their duffle bags since the "fake off trunk" couldn't hold but the maximum of two bags. But Simon said to Calix (who then translated to us) that he could sit closer to Calix and snuggle up to him. And from what I could see, they were doing just that and were perfectly fine. Simon's head rested on Calix's shoulder while Calix read a book and listened to music on his iPod. Simon drew little circles on Calix's chest, nuzzling his husband and smiling when Calix kissed his forehead.

"We're almost there," I told my carful of passengers, knowing Calix and Simon must be getting antsy.

They were. Simon, we later found out, complained to Calix. He wanted to get out.

"He's not very good on car rides when he can't sleep. I offered him my book, but he doesn't like it. He's just gonna have to wait," Calix teased, kissing his husband's cheek.

I finally pulled onto my parents' street, and Simon was asleep. Calix kissed his forehead, trying to wake him up. He sat up fast, the imprint of Calix's T-shirt on his cheek, but Calix hushed him. He rubbed his back as Simon rubbed his eyes. Simon leaned over, kissing Calix. I cut the engine, waiting for them to stop fornicating in our back seat. When they finally pulled away, Simon pecking Calix a last kiss, I raised my eyebrows at them in the rearview mirror. They grinned, and Tom and I got out. Calix held onto Simon's waist while he held onto Calix's shoulder. They pecked each other another kiss once out of the Jeep.

"Who have you brought home?"

Simon and Calix looked towards the door, as did Tom and I. Xavier and Sam sat on the porch, grinning.

"Hi, I'm his youngest brother, Xavier. This is my boyfriend, Sam," Xavier introduced himself and Sam.

Sam waved, smiling. "Hi."

Calix waved, but Simon just smiled. While Calix said something to them, Simon concentrating on Calix's lips, I motioned at both of them.

"_Simon's deaf. Don't say anything,_" I mouthed hard at them, and they both nodded discreetly.

Tom and I tried our best to keep Calix and Simon out of the range of our family. We tried. And failed. But they took it like pros and we envied them for it.


	47. Use

**This chapter takes place a little while after the trip to Georgia with Calix and Simon. Just telling you so no one was confused.**

* * *

_Xavier_

It was late enough at night that I thought no one was up. I was wrong obviously. Danny was stretched out on the couch, Emilee lying on his chest. Nicole and Kyle were both up as well and Tom was sitting on the couch with Danny's feet in his lap. All three of the girls were sick I found out. Alex was sitting with Nicole and Beth with Kyle. I'm assuming Tom was just up because Danny was up. They were pretty much a package deal as Sam and I were. Danny's hand stroked down Emilee's back, kissing her head. Tom's hand ghosted up and down Danny's shin, and he looked increasingly sleepy. I jumped when someone touched my back. Sam smiled at me, kissing my neck.

"Hi," he whispered against my neck.

I smiled. "Hey there."

He nuzzled his face into my neck, his arms tightening around my waist. He pulled away only momentarily, but took my hand. We settled in the recliner, me in Sam's lap. He smiled, gently rocking us in the chair. My head resting on Sam's shoulder, his hand rubbing my back soothingly, I was trying my hardest to keep my eyes open.

"Shhh," he hushed me, "close your eyes, sweet boy."

He kept up his gentle rocking and I was asleep in only a moment.

I jumped violently, my heart racing. Warm arms tightened around me and I relaxed a fraction. I felt warm lips against my forehead, and a hand smoothing my hair back. I knew I didn't have my glasses on and when I peeked out everything was blurry. Danny was just leaning up from kissing my forehead and he smiled at me. I was still lying on Sam, but he looked just as groggy as I felt.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" He asked me, and I blinked a few times.

I nodded, though my heart was still racing.

"Come here, Zay," Danny said, holding his arms out. "Let Sam get up."

My legs were asleep, pin pricks making it hard to move. Danny slipped his arms under my legs and around my back. He lifted me from Sam's lap. He was so warm and I laid my head on his chest. Sam got up, his legs just as asleep as mine, but he disappeared in the direction of the bathroom. Danny settled me back in the chair, and kissed my forehead again. I stretched my legs out, and Danny fixed my pants for me. He kissed my cheek before standing up.

"Danny?"

He turned back to me, unconsciously touching my head as if to make sure I was okay. "What, baby?"

"What time is it?" I asked him, and he brushed his knuckle down my cheek like always.

"Eight. You and Sam slept in the chair the entire night. Tom and I stayed down here too, but we were on the couch," he told me, and I nodded.

Sam came back just as Danny left. They passed each other and, as I put my glasses on, Danny kissed Sam's cheek. He smiled at Sam, touching his jaw, and Sam smiled back, his cheeks a little pink. I reached up, wrapping my arms around Sam's neck, and kissed him. He smiled against my lips, kissing me back softly.

"I love you," I said, my fingers tangling in his hair.

"I love you too," he whispered, kissing me again.

* * *

"Come here," Danny whispered to Sam and me, telling us to be quiet.

I'd totally forgotten that we had a piano, until I heard the music ringing throughout the entire house. Danny put his finger to his lips, and we all peeked into the "music room." Tom was sitting on the piano bench, his fingers moving across the keys in beautiful, fluid movements. He was only wearing jeans, and you could really see how far back his butt was on the bench. The small of his back arched inwards towards the piano, and the waistband of his jeans left a gap between the fabric and his skin. One of his bare feet tapped out a rhythm on the hardwood floor and the other pressed the foot pedals. Sam moved carefully, his arms going around my waist and his chin resting on my shoulder.

"I know you're there."

We all froze, but the music kept on. Tom never looked over his shoulder at us, but we knew we were caught. Sam and I slipped away, leaving Danny to deal with…that. But we shouldn't have, because the next thing we knew Danny and Tom came down into the kitchen twenty minutes later. Tom's torso was sweaty and Danny was very relaxed and sweet with Tom. Sam crossed his arms over his chest, his hip sticking out. He raised an eyebrow at them and I laughed. Sam laughed with me then, knowing full well what they'd done.

"Fuck, you guys did it on the piano," Sam giggled.

"How did it hold all your weight?" I wondered aloud, and Danny glared at me.

Sam pulled me into his arms, kissing me softly, and dared Danny to come near me. Sam was always, even if he was just playing, very protective. If anything remotely threatened me, even my own family, he was there, wrapping me up in his arms. I tilted my head to the side, looking at my boyfriend, and smiled at him. He kissed my nose, and unexpectedly spun me under his arm. He pulled me back, dancing with me. I laughed, and his nose traced across my cheek, his lips finding my ear.

"Come upstairs with me," he whispered, quiet enough so only I could hear him.

I smiled against his neck, and nodded. He grinned, and kissed me. I pulled away, taking his hand, and pushed in between my brother and his husband. Danny laughed, and watched us go. I winked back at him, my hands going to Sam's waist.

Sam kicked the door shut behind him, taking charge now. He pulled my shirt over my head, shoving me down onto the bed. He shed his shirt as well—his knees on either side of my hips—and leaned down to kiss and lick my chest. He pulled my sweatpants off me, his lips moving down my belly as he went. I went to kiss him when he came back up to my face, but he pulled away. He sat up, pushing against my shoulder, and I turned over. He wasn't touching me for a moment. I didn't know what he was doing, but then unexpectedly lifted my hips up. He pushed my knees up, and my fingers unconsciously curled into the bedding. I closed my eyes, burying my face into my comforter. Sam was always careful to always make sure I was relaxed and ready for him before we had sex. He'd been hurt only a little because some of his previous boyfriends hadn't taken the time to do what he made sure to do for me. My head shot up when he took hold of my hips and just barely pressed against me. Something wasn't right.

"Sam?" I asked, shifting away from him. I turned my head to look back at him.

"What, sweet boy? What's the matter?" He asked me, touching my back.

I swallowed. "Do you have any condoms?"

"Shit. It totally slipped my mind. I'm so sorry, baby," he said, starting to move to stand.

I reached back and grabbed him. We looked at each other for a moment. I knew I didn't have any diseases or anything like that and Sam got tested every six months because of his previous boyfriends. He really didn't want to leave me, and he bit his lip. I finally released him, and he got up. Jerking on some jeans, he leaned over to kiss me. He took my hand, moving it down to my member, and told me to distract myself while he was gone. I kissed him one more time before he left, slamming the door and yelling Danny's name. I smiled, but couldn't help remembering where my hand was. I was so turned on that I didn't even hear the door shut again or feel the bed sink. I jumped when hands circled my hips and pulled me back against more warm skin.

"Danny's laughing at us, but I couldn't give a damn right now. I just want you," Sam muttered, and I shifted my knees a little to spread my legs further.

Sam got the message, easing into me. I pressed my face into the comforter, trying to keep quiet. The bedding muffled my vocalizing but Sam just had to bite his tongue. I was pushed forward with every movement of Sam's hips and he leaned down over me to hold me. His fingers laced with mine on the bed, his hand on top of mine. His hips thrust down against mine, and my back arched as I thrust up against him. It was a beautiful dance that gave Sam and me a chance for something only we could share. I barely had time to say anything to Sam until I was gasping out broken moans. Sam's mouth found my back near my shoulder, his tongue dragging down the crease between my shoulder blades. He kept going, his hips pushing against mine, and definitely prolonged everything I was feeling. His forehead pressed to my back, and muffled his deep moan.

He was careful when he pulled out, getting up only momentarily to throw away the condom, and then came back to me. I cuddled up to him, and he smiled, pressing my head onto his chest. He lay on his back, the little bit of sun from the cracked blinds filtering in and landing on his belly. He let out a content sigh and closed his eyes. I watched him, the gentle curving of his mouth as it turned up into a smile and the fluttering of his eyelashes. He opened his eyes, the deep blue peering down at me, and his lips opened into a wider smile. Our tender moment was interrupted then by my brother throwing open the door. He and Tom stood in the doorway while Sam and I grabbed for the sheets and our clothes.

"Dinner's ready," Danny said, grinning at us.

We just sat there, gasping for breath, and stared at them.

"I can tell that the condom was put to good use," Danny said then, looking down at Tom before shifting his brown eyes back to us.

"Damn straight it was," I snarled at him, glaring at him.

He laughed and linked hands with Tom. He pulled his husband away from the doorway, kissing him just as they moved out of our line of sight.

"Fuck me that was so embarrassing," I muttered, putting my head in my hands, when Sam tugged on boxers and shut the door.

He settled on the bed in front of me, sitting on his legs. He smoothed my hair back, trying to comfort me. He cradled my face in his hands, kissing my forehead, and then nuzzled against my cheek. I smiled, kissing him for just a moment, and reached for my boxer briefs. I didn't care very much for boxers anymore, but briefs were just a little too…something. I couldn't explain it even if I tried. I searched my room for jeans while Sam zipped his and looked for a t-shirt. Before I could even get my hands to my zipper and button, Sam had his hands on them. He zipped and buttoned my jeans while kissing me. I smiled against his lips, and finally pulled away once he was done with my pants.

"Thanks, babe," I said, pecking him a soft kiss before pulling on a t-shirt.

Sam's hands found my waist and he pulled me close. Our chest pressing together, his hand cupped around the back of my neck and he kissed me. Believe me, I really wanted to kiss and be close and everything, but I was getting tired and I needed food. Just then my stomach rumbled and Sam pulled away. He laid his hand over my belly, smiling.

"Someone's hungry," he crooned, kissing my nose. "I must have worked you really hard."

I smiled. "You wish."

He scoffed, and slapped my ass when I walked past him. I spun, capturing his neck in my hands and lips with my own. He smiled, kissing me back, before I pulled away.

"Come on," I coaxed, linking hands with him. He laughed letting me pull him out of my room.


	48. TLC

_Xavier_

"Happy birthday!"

I laughed, throwing my head back. Sam kissed my cheek, grinning at me. I'd never really liked surprises, but a surprise party thrown by my family and boyfriend was the best. I was finally twenty-one. I could drink, go to clubs with Sam…and drink. All I could do was drink, and that was my plan. My parents had reluctantly agreed to have booze at the party. I mean seriously I was twenty-one and everyone there was old enough. Danny, my savior, convinced them and put them at ease with the idea. Sam handed me a beer, smiling over the top of his own.

"Wait!" Danny yelled, putting his hand on my back. "We need to document this moment. My baby brother's first _legal_ drink!"

I grimaced at him, but didn't drink until he let me. Grinning, Danny kissed my cheek, and I rolled my eyes when he decided to embarrass me further by starting a countdown. Sam laughed, obviously enjoying this. I drank on "ONE!" and then kissed Sam. He smiled against my lips, kissing me back, and then pulled away from me gently. Everything was such a blur the entire night. I only had a couple drinks, but everything went by faster than I thought was possible. I saw my friends there, but tried to stay with Sam. He gave me his drinks when I ended up with none left. But I was exhausted by eleven, the party finally ending.

I yawned, feeling Sam's fingertips trail over my cheek, and blinked tiredly. I jumped when I felt warm arms wrap around my back.

"Did you have fun?"

I tilted my head back, and Danny smiled at me.

"I did. Thank you," I told him, leaning up to kiss his cheek.

He kissed my forehead and released me back to Sam, who eagerly pulled me into his arms.

"Let's go to bed," he whispered to me, kissing my nose.

I nodded, yawning, and let him steer me towards the stairs. I practically collapsed onto my old bed, and Sam had to pull my jeans off me. I lifted by hips up after he unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans, letting him tug them off. He kissed my thigh, tossing my jeans onto the floor, and shed his jeans as well. He climbed up into bed with me, lying down with a tired sigh.

"I love you," he whispered into the dark, stretching out on his belly.

"I love you too," I slurred, hoping he could understand me.

Curling up underneath the covers, I was asleep in a second.

* * *

"Oh, fuck, I have a killer headache," I groaned, and Sam smiled, kissing my forehead.

"I'm sorry, baby. Come here," Sam coaxed, tugging me with our linked hands into the kitchen. His hands were warm, but mine were cold. I knew this was a migraine instantly. It wasn't from alcohol, since my party had been a few days ago.

Sam kept his voice very low, obviously knowing that I was in a lot of pain. He gave me some Tylenol and told me to go into the family room. When he came in, he had his head tilted back, swallowing something.

"Is your knee hurting, sweetie?" I asked him, keeping my voice down.

"Yeah. It's this fucking weather," he muttered, stepping carefully.

I gasped softly when there was a crash in the kitchen. Sam groaned, shifting his leg to straighten it out.

"That noise hurt my knee. God, what was that?" He was always quiet when I had my headaches and I loved him for it.

"Let's go down to the basement," I suggested in a whisper.

"'Kay. Here," he said, his arms wrapping gently around me.

It was a lot better in the basement TV room. We settled on the big, full reclining sofa. The soft microfiber fabric was amazing and I was glad that the only noise we could hear was muted footsteps. Sam, having left me for only a moment, tried to soothe his knee with a hot pack and a cold pack. He was in so much pain, I knew it, but he never let on about it. The TV was on, a low noise leaking from the speakers. I shifted closer to Sam, curling my legs up onto the cushion. Sam lifted his arm and I laid my head in his lap. The leg supports were both popped out which made the couch more comfortable. Sam stroked my hair, ruffling it, and very gently pressed his two fingers to my temple.

"God, sweetheart, I can feel your head throb. I'm so sorry," he murmured, leaning down awkwardly to kiss my head.

"It's not your fault," I mumbled, my eyes closing against my will.

"Go to sleep, honey. You need it," he crooned, his thumb brushing over my throbbing temple.

I yawned, wincing, and Sam leaned really far over to dim the lights. When he settled again, reclining the sofa back further to lean back, he kept one hand on my head.

* * *

"It's so late," I whined, pushing gently on Sam's shoulder.

He propped himself up on his hands, giving me a look. "You want to say that _now_?"

I sighed irritably, tossing my head back onto the bed. We were sideways on the bed, Sam pressed against me.

"It's one-thirty in the morning and I'm horny as hell. I know you are too, so don't give me that," he scolded me, and I gave him a not amused smile.

I gnawed on my lip when his hands wandered across my naked skin. He smirked, knowing I was giving in.

"Give in to him, Zay. You really are pretty horny, so don't even _think_ of saying no!"

We both jumped when we heard Danny yell through the wall at us.

"Shit, he's so fucking _nosy_! Go back to bed, Danny!" I shouted, angry _and_ horny.

I was flushed now from embarrassment and anger and arousal. Sam smiled, nuzzling my cheek, and pushed me back down onto the bed.

"Ignore him," he whispered, his lips finding my jaw.

So I did, and Sam got less and less forceful. His domination streak only lasted for several minutes. He couldn't stand to be rough with me. I was as quiet as physically possible, just so Danny wouldn't have something to mock me with when everyone was up. Sam had tossed my legs over his shoulders in a fast attempt to be closer to me and that's how we stayed for the remainder of our night. Sam was exhausted once he collapsed next to me. He shivered, his breathing shallow and mixed with pitiful whimpers, and I sat up. He shuddered weakly when I touched his hip, but instead of letting me, he reached for the trash can next to the bed and threw away the condom. He was still breathing very shallowly, his entire body trembling underneath my hand.

"Honey, are you all right?" I asked him, carefully touching his face.

He looked at me, his blue eyes glazed over with what I think was pain. He took a deep breath, reaching for my hand and squeezed it.

"I hit a nerve. In my knee. When I was kneeling. Can you go get me my meds? And a cold pack? I think it's swelling," he panted, blinking slowly.

He was tired and in pain. I nodded fast, climbing from the bed. I tugged on my jeans, practically running down the stairs. I didn't have my glasses on, which made it _that much harder_ for me.

"Xavier? Honey, is everything all right?"

I vaguely saw my mom sitting in the family room as I sprinted through.

"Yeah. Sam's knee is hurting. I'm getting him some stuff," I told her, halfway into the kitchen.

"Well I can go up and check on him," she said, starting to stand up.

"No!" I said, reaching towards her to stop her. "I mean, he's trying to sleep. He's really tired."

I could somewhat tell she gave me a look, obviously not believing me. "Alright. If he's _that_ tired…"

I smacked myself when I was safely in the kitchen. I retrieved a cold pack from the freezer, Sam's meds, and two glasses of sweet tea. I refrained from looking at my mom when I passed and watched where I was going instead.

"Sammy?" I peeked inside my room.

Sam turned over, gasping in pain, and I bolted into the room. He grabbed his bottle from me, his hands shaking as he tried to turn the cap. I gave him his tea, taking his bottle from him, and kissed his forehead.

"Take a drink, baby doll. Calm down," I murmured, turning the cap and fishing a pill out. I gave it to him, and he downed it with a gulp of tea.

He groaned, pressing the cold pack to his knee, and buried his face in his pillow.

"Honey," I crooned, stroking his sweaty hair out of his face.

He let out a hard breath and curled up with a whimper. He was shaking harder than before. I sat cross-legged behind him, stroking his back, just listening to him cry. I pulled the sheet up over him though he was sweaty and hot. I pulled my legs up to my chest, watching him.

"Zay?"

I looked up. Danny and Tom, tucked under my brother's arm, stood in the doorway.

"It's almost three why are you two still up?" I asked them, so tired and just wanting to sleep.

"We had a little fun ourselves, and Tom's hungry. I'm going downstairs with him to get him something to eat," Danny said, rubbing Tom's shoulder.

I reached out, laying my hand on Sam's waist. He was quieter, only an occasional sob or whimper. Tom stepped into the room, his steps careful almost, and kneeled in front of Sam. Tom's hand framed Sam's cheek, and his voice was soft when he asked him to look up at him.

"Sammy," he crooned, and Sam sniffled, picking his head up. "Aw, baby, is your knee still hurting you?"

Sam nodded, his hair plastered to his flushed, wet face. Tom smoothed his hair back, off his face, and Sam swallowed. My brother's husband pressed the backs of his fingers to Sam's cheek, and bit his lip.

"Come here, sweetie. Can you sit up for me?" Tom held onto Sam's hands as he sat up, and then crouched back next to his knee. Sam was smart enough to hold onto the sheet when he sat up, and I blushed.

Tom took the ice pack from Sam, sitting it on the bed next to him, and very gently touched Sam's knee. I slid up behind my boyfriend, my legs framing either side of him, and kissed the nape of his neck. He tensed when Tom touched his knee, and I held onto him, knowing he'd bolt when someone touched his hurt knee. Danny had stepped into the room, watching his husband with an adoring smile. Sam jerked his leg away when Tom pressed too hard. Tom hushed him, and got his knee brace from the floor. Tom pulled the brace onto Sam's knee, smoothing his hand over it once it was on. Sam's hand shook when he found his boxers, and Tom helped him stand up after he'd shimmied into his underwear.

Danny, having come closer to the bed, pushed me down. He pulled my jeans off, throwing my underwear at me.

"Go to sleep. You're exhausted," Danny told me, leaning over me like he used to when I was little.

He kissed my forehead, stroking my cheek with a knuckle. I blinked tiredly, stretching out underneath the gentle breeze from the fan, and he smiled.

"Tom will take good care of Sam, sweetheart. All you need to worry about is resting your poor exhausted body. You need to sleep some nights and just take a rain check on the sex. I know it's hard to think about and it'll be even harder when it comes to telling him no. He's a big boy; he can handle it."

I just nodded sleepily up at him.

"Sleep tight, baby. I love you," he murmured, leaning down to kiss my forehead again.

"'Night," I mumbled, turning over.

Danny rubbed his hand down my back before he left with Tom and Sam. I stretched out on my belly, the position that I loved to sleep in, and sighed heavily.


	49. Nighttime

_Danny_

I stopped short when I heard voices in the kitchen. It was late. Who was still up?

"Danny was the most promiscuous one in the family! He ought to know at least something."

I could recognize my baby brother's voice, pleading and coaxing.

"I am not asking your brother for this kind of stuff. That is just too weird for me."

It was Sam with him, angry almost and embarrassed sounding.

"Baby," Xavier whined. "I'm just trying to help us both out."

"We don't need help. So, we're having a little bit of a hard time with sex. Every couple does. I'm sure even Danny and Tom do," Sam explained to my brother, sounding very convincing to me. "I love you and that's all that matters. I'm sure things will work out on their own and I don't want to have to bring your family into our personal life. This is between us, and I want us to deal with it."

I heard the soft smack of a kiss and smiled. I stepped closer to the kitchen door, knocking lightly on the wall. Xavier looked very tired, his shoulders sagging and head drooping. Sam was obviously having a bout of insomnia, and of course my brother was trying to stay up with him. Xavier took his glasses off, setting them on the table, and rubbed his hand over his face.

"You heard all that, didn't you?" Xavier asked me, his voice heavy and slurred slightly.

"Most of it, yes. I'm sorry, sweetheart, but Sam's right. Every couple has these problems at one point or another. Even Tom and I. It's not easy, but you'll work through it. I promise," I told him, walking over the cold tile floor to the island.

Xavier's shoulders tensed when I put my hand on his back, but he slowly relaxed when Sam linked their hands together. My brother reached towards me, smoothing his hand over my leg, sheathed in plaid flannel pajama pants. I smiled, leaning down to kiss his forehead.

"If you really need anything, come to me about it. I want to help you guys. You're my family, and I'm here for anything and everything."

"Thanks, Danny. We appreciate it," Sam told me, smiling.

"No problem. I'm the oldest of five siblings. It's my job," I teased.

Xavier laughed tiredly, laying his head over onto my abdomen. I stroked my hand through his hair, and he sighed softly. I could tell he was so tired, and the big brother inside me wanted to tell him to go to bed _now_. I bent down and kissed his head.

"Baby, you need to go to sleep. What did I tell you the other night? Really, sweetheart, you can't do this to yourself. This is going to be the last year of college for you. I'm going to kidnap Sam in order to let you sleep," I said, glaring at Sam but it was jokingly.

"Well, then I think I will take _my boyfriend_ upstairs to go _sleep_," Sam teased, and stood up.

I kissed Sam's cheek before Xavier stood up and kissed Sam right on the mouth.

"Stop yelling at my boyfriend. He takes good care of me," Xavier slurred at me, pushing against my chest as he stepped away.

Sam picked up Xavier's glasses from off the island and his hand found the small of my brother's back as they walked towards the family room. I stepped out into the family room as they climbed the stairs. I watched as Sam made sure Xavier didn't stumble or fall without his glasses. A moment after they disappeared upstairs, before I could turn around, a familiar figure appeared on the stairs. I smiled at the petite, slender person on the steps in the shadows.

"What are you doing up?" I asked, leaning against the doorjamb.

"I couldn't sleep. I missed you."

I grinned, unhitching myself from the wall, and met Tom at the bottom of the stairs. I captured his face in my hands, my mouth finding his easily in the dark.

"I love you," Tom whispered to me when we'd pulled away from our kiss only to press our foreheads together.

"I love you more," I murmured, my lips pursing against his for a moment.

"Uh-uh. I love _you_ more." Tom smiled at me in the shadows, and I rolled my eyes.

"I don't think so, little one," I crooned, and kissed his forehead. "Come here." I lifted Tom up, his legs wrapping around my waist, and carried him to the couch.

I sat down, Tom in my lap, and he smiled at me. I sighed, running my hands down his sides and legs.

"You're so hot," I told him, making him blush in the dark.

"I'm in my pajamas! Flannel pants and a gross, old T-shirt," Tom defended, his little hands on my shoulders.

"That makes you even hotter. I love you in your pajamas. You're adorable," I murmured, my hands rubbing over his strong thighs.

He shivered, smiling shyly, and balled his hands into fists. He stretched his fingers out then, curling and uncurling them several times.

"Something on your mind, baby?" I coaxed, reaching up to touch his face.

Tom caught my hand, replacing it back onto his thigh, and shook his head. "I'm fine. Just tired. And I love you."

"Well, I love you too. We can go back upstairs if you want, or we can lay down right here," I offered.

He shook his head, and wrapped his arms around my neck. He shifted closer, and kissed me. When his hands fisted in my shirt before going to the hem, I stopped him by gently pressing against his chest. He pulled away, a petulant pout on his cute face.

"Honey, not on my parents' couch," I murmured, smoothing my hands down his chest.

"Then why don't we go upstairs to our _bedroom_," he coaxed me, sitting up a little in my lap.

I smiled, laughing softly, before standing up. Tom wrapped his legs around my waist, and smiled coyly at me. It was very easy to maneuver while carrying my husband, he was practically made like a fucking bird, and the door to our room was already open. The bed was messy, Tom and I didn't sleep in one position, but it was soft and comfortable when I kneeled on it and laid Tom down. He smiled widely, and started to pull his T-shirt off. I helped him, our lips meeting heatedly. It was as if someone had just flipped a switch and we needed each other _bad_.

It took a while for Tom's breathing to settle and even out. He laid down on his side of the bed, his back to me, and I brought the covers up over the both of us. I snuggled up to his back, draping my arm over him and stroking his forearm with my fingertips. I knew he wasn't asleep or even that his eyes weren't closed. I nuzzled against his shoulder, leaving a kiss there.

"Go to sleep, angel," I crooned, and he finally wilted further onto the mattress.

I knew when his eyes were closed and when he was asleep. I continued to stroke his forearm until I finally dozed off as well.

* * *

"Danny?"

I drew in a long breath and sat up onto my elbows. I blinked, trying to focus my eyes, and looked up at whoever was standing next to my bed.

"Hey, baby, what's up?" I asked my brother, reaching over to touch his hip.

Zay smiled shyly, watching my hand, and licked his lips. "I was sent to come wake you up. We were getting kinda worried about you since you never sleep this late."

I smiled, sitting up fully. I patted the spot next to me. "Come here, sweetie."

Xavier settled next to me, pulling his legs up underneath him.

"Mom's making breakfast. Tom and Dad are discussing God knows what. Sam's probably trying to steal food or waiting at the bottom of the stairs for me to come downstairs."

I laughed, leaning over to kiss Xavier. He smiled, running a hand through his messy blond hair.

"Then let's go cause a disturbance in our seemingly perfect family," I said as I shifted to stand up.

Xavier laughed finally, his face breaking into a smile that made my heart swell. I leaned over, kissing his cheek, and reached for my underwear. He stretched out on the bed, watching the fan above him, while I found my pajama pants. He rocked back and threw himself forward to stand up. I laughed, helping him up, and we walked downstairs together. Sam was sitting on the couch, his legs pulled up to his chest, but he perked up when he spotted Zay.

"You look so lonely, baby. Come on, we're going into the kitchen," Xavier said to his boyfriend, taking his hand when he stood.

Xavier kissed Sam's hand, making him smile, and then kissed him on the mouth. I smirked, and went to find my husband. He was pretty much curled up in a chair at the dining room table, drinking coffee, and reading the lifestyle section of the newspaper. He only looked up when I rubbed his shoulders, and smiled at me. He laid his head back, and I ducked mine down. Our lips touched for only a brief moment, but it was enough for me since I would accept _any_ contact with Tom. I sat next to him when we all ate breakfast, and couldn't help myself when I leaned over for a kiss.

Tom yawned, and I smiled at him. His little body was curled up against my side, his skin pressed close to mine. Summer had drawn to a close and fall had set in recently; though in the south the fall and winter lasted about two weeks each max. Tom sat up, stretching, and looked around the room. It was sometime in the very early morning, and we were both sweaty. Tom looked back at me, and smoothed his hand over my chest.

"Mmm, I think we should take a shower," Tom coaxed, grinning.

I sat up, pulling him closer, and kissed him. He got off the bed after he pulled away from me, trying to get me up. Our bathroom had a glass shower that you could see practically straight through. It was definitely a good thing and a bad thing. I turned on the shower, nudging Tom in first. He gasped at the cool water hitting his skin before it warmed up. He shivered, but smiled when I smoothed his damp hair back. He closed his eyes, laying his head back underneath the water. He shook his head, his hair whipping out and spraying me and the entire shower with water.

"Thank you, now I don't even need to take a shower anymore," I teased him, grabbing onto his shoulder.

"Oh? And what are you going to do about that?" He asked, smirking.

I just pulled him underneath the water with me, and kissed him.

"Whatever it is, I'm too tired to find out," I joked, and kissed his forehead.


	50. Move

_Sam_

"Fuck!" I couldn't believe this. I threw the paper onto the table angrily, but it just fluttered down gently.

Xavier put his head in his hands, and sniffled. He picked his head back up, wiping his hand over his face.

"How?" He asked me, shoving at the paper on our little kitchen table.

"I don't know, honey. I'm sorry though," I told him, smoothing my hand over his hair.

"Of course this would happen to us," he moaned.

"Don't say that. We'll just find another place. A cheaper place," I said, kissing his forehead.

And we did find another place. It was a one bedroom, one bath apartment off campus.

Xavier dropped his bag on the floor, sitting down on the bed we kept. It had been his in our old apartment and we gave mine to Nicole and Kyle who were trying to get their girls to start sleeping in actual beds. Mine had been a twin, so it was perfect for them.

"Don't think of this as a bad thing, baby. This is just another adventure for us," I said to my boyfriend, crouching in front of him.

He sighed, looking down, but we both jumped when our door banged open.

"We are here! To celebrate your first eviction!"

"Holy shit, Joanna. Really? You want to celebrate that?" Xavier glared at our friend, in the doorway with her boyfriend, Jackson.

"Well, yeah. I brought a cake. It's a rite of passage! I'm sure Danny was evicted _at least_ once," Joanna countered as she came in. Jackson shut the door, sitting a grocery bag on the counter next to the cake in our sad little kitchen.

"No, he wasn't. That's when my parents actually cared. Now it's Danny and Tom who are giving me money to _survive_!"

Joanna sighed, her hands on her hips. "Now listen to me, young man. You may be sad, and it may be raining so much outside I was almost bashed in the head with our umbrella, but we are going to eat this cake and you are going to smile. You hear me?"

Xavier looked up at Joanna, a not amused look on his face. He faked a smile, and I rubbed his leg.

"There. See? We're well on our way!" Joanna cried happily, spinning around and prancing into the kitchen.

Jackson was a quiet person, which was saying something since he'd been with Joanna since the summer before starting college. He just smiled at us, asking gently how we were doing while Joanna attempted to whistle something in the kitchen whilst cutting pieces of cake for us.

"Who wants a corner piece?" She joked, holding up the circular cake.

Xavier cracked a smile then, ducking his head so she wouldn't see.

"Fuck, he's about to smile! Come on, Zay, you know you wanna smile. No, don't smile. Stop it! Don't you dare smile." Joanna walked around the counter, coming over to us.

Xavier finally smiled, laughing when Joanna slapped his arm.

"I said don't smile!"

I sat on the bed next to him, rubbing his arm where Joanna playfully had smacked him, and kissed his forehead.

"Everything will be fine, sweet boy. Just wait. We'll be okay," I whispered to him, and he nodded silently.

"Okay, UFC or porn?" Joanna asked us, all seriousness in her voice.

"Joanna!" Jackson chided, but laughed anyway.

"It was a joke, moron. But I love you anyway," she said, and kissed his head.

"Eww, hetero love," I teased, smiling.

"Eww, homo love," Joanna teased back.

I smiled, kissing Xavier full on the mouth. "Damn straight," I said when I pulled away.

* * *

_Xavier_

"Hello?" I said as I picked up the phone.

"Zay? It's Danny."

"What's up?" I said, shifting onto my back in mine and Sam's bed.

"I need your help."

I sat up. Danny was never this quiet or almost scared sounding.

"Of-of course. What is it?"

I heard him take a deep breath. "Tom lost a friend over in Afghanistan. We're coming down to his funeral but we're not telling Mom and Dad we're coming. Tom needs some time alone."

I nodded though I knew he couldn't see me. "I won't say anything. Just tell Tom I'm really sorry."

"I will. Thank you for this, honey. It will really help us out," Danny told me, and I could plainly hear the pain in his voice.

"No problem. Who was it?"

"His name was Kurt. He was eighteen when we met him. He was from around there in Georgia too. He was so sweet. He recently came out to his family and he had an adorable boyfriend and he was such a happy person. He was twenty now, and I can't believe it was him. I met him and he was the bubbliest kid I've ever met. I feel so sorry for his boyfriend."

"That's so sad. I'm so sorry. I promise not to say anything, and everything will be okay," I told him, holding onto the sheets of mine and Sam's bed.

"Thank you again, Zay. I'll let you go. We owe you big time, sweetheart."

I smiled, pushing my hair out of my face. "I love you."

"I love you too. Bye."

"Bye," I whispered, hitting the _END CALL_ button.

"Who was that?" Sam asked me, smoothing his hand over my back.

"Danny. He's upset because Tom lost a friend over in Afghanistan. We can't say anything though. They don't want my parents to know they're coming down here."

Sam touched the base of my spine, swirling his fingers around the faint dimples just above my bottom. I heard him sigh contentedly, rubbing his thumb over my spine.

"I love you," he told me out of the blue.

I smiled. "I love you too."


	51. Loss

_Tom_

Danny stood next to me, tears pooling in his warm eyes, but that's not what I was mainly focusing on. All I was watching was Luke. He was bawling, and he had a right to. His black hair was sticking to his forehead and temples. It was hot outside and he was crying. I sighed softly, not really listening to the pastor. I only wanted to make sure Luke was okay. I didn't get to see him before the service at the church, but I was watching him carefully.

Luke looked up, his pale green eyes red and puffy, when the soldiers moved to snap the flag out. He was shaking like a leaf, tears leaking out from underneath his glasses, and he bit his quivering lower lip. He watched as Kurt's mother declined the folded flag, pointing down the row at Luke. His eyes grew wide, and his hands shook violently as they came in contact with fabric of the flag. He gripped it once the soldier let go of it and moved away. He sobbed into the cloth, his shoulders shaking.

He watched with hollow, exhausted eyes as they lowered the casket into the ground. He was quiet as he cried, and he was the last one standing on that side of the grave once everyone had filtered away. I walked around to that side, touching Luke's arm. He turned, looking at me, and it took a moment for him to recognize me. He gasped, throwing his arms around me, and buried his face in my shoulder. I sighed, holding him close, and let him cry. Danny touched Luke's back, smoothing his hand over his suit jacket.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered to him repeatedly. He just cried heavy, body wracking sobs into my shoulder.

* * *

_Luke_

I swallowed hard when I opened the door to my—our—apartment. Everything reminded me of the one person I wanted most to see. I walked past the table full of pictures, running my fingers over each and every one. Kurt and I at a music festival. Our first pride parade in Atlanta. Christmas. Halloween. Every holiday we spent together. We'd only been together for two years but those had been the best years of my life. Once in the bedroom, I laid Kurt's flag on my nightstand, smoothing my fingers over it. I was scared and I didn't want to be alone. I grabbed for my cell phone, dialing Tom's number.

"Can you come over?" I asked, pushing my hair out of my face.

"Of course. I'll be right there," Tom told me, and I heard a rustling in the background.

"Danny can come too…if he wants to," I said, biting my lip.

"He'd love to come. We want to help you as much as we can. So don't hesitate to ask anything of us. We're happy to help."

I smiled, and when we hung up I sat at the little kitchen table in pajama pants and a T-shirt. I opened the door for them, and Tom was quick to make me feel better. He had brought movies to watch, and I was grateful for him. I needed a distraction.

"You sit on the couch with Tom," Danny told me. "I'll sit on the floor."

I looked up at him, feeling incredibly small compared to him. He was a foot taller than me exactly, and he was a little intimidating. He touched my back, nudging me towards the couch, and gave me the bowl of popcorn. He smiled, and turned to get drinks. Tom had told me I could go to bed, but I wanted to stay up and watch a movie with them. I wasn't tired and definitely not ready to face whatever dream my subconscious had in mind for me. I unconsciously played with the ring on my left ring finger. It was silver titanium with a black arrow circling the band to point at a diamond in the middle. There was no setting for the diamond and it just rested against my finger.

"That's a beautiful ring," Tom said, touching the ring.

I sniffed. "Thanks. Kurt gave it to me."

"Were you going to get married?" Danny asked carefully, looking back at me.

I nodded and smiled weakly.

I was in the bedroom, about to go to bed, when I broke down. I tried not to make noise, but nothing got past Danny and Tom.

"Luke, honey, are you all right?" Tom asked me, though it was kind of a stupid question.

Danny sat on the bed next to me, touching my leg. Tom reached over to Danny and patted his shoulder.

"Luke, meet Danny's shoulder—" he patted his shoulder again. "—and his chest." He patted his chest then. "They are the best spots to cry. They're broad and strong, and he's the gentlest person you'll ever meet."

Danny smiled weakly, blushing. He shifted to face me more and settle more comfortably on the bed. He held his arms out to me, beckoning and coaxing me forward. Tom pushed me gently, and I finally collapsed into Danny's arm, burying my face in Danny's shoulder. Danny's hand found my head, cradling it and stroking my hair.

"Shhh," he soothed me, shifting me even closer.

With a kiss to both mine and Danny's heads, Tom left us. It was a little while until I was calm enough to talk to Danny. He kept his hands on me in case I started crying again so he could easily pull me into his arms.

"I've got everything now. He left everything to me in his will. But there was also a letter," as I said this, I leaned over to the nightstand, pulling a piece of paper out from under my glasses. A single tear dropped onto the paper, and I sniffed. Danny, sitting on the bed next to me, touched my head. "He told me how much he loved me, and that he was sorry that he was gone. He went into a lot more description than that, but that's the gist."

"You don't need to tell me the details, sweetheart. That's your personal thing. But do you want to know a secret?" Danny's voice was so gentle, almost a croon.

I nodded, looking up at Danny. His hand stroked my inky curls, watching me with gentle brown eyes.

"We're the ones who are left behind," Danny said simply, and I'm sure I looked confused.

"That's a little obvious," I muttered.

Danny smiled, brushing his thumb over my flushed cheek.

"But," Danny said. "That's not all. Tom told me once that if soldiers know that their families are being cared for, they'll fight harder. If their families are in danger at home, they lose interest in the war over there and want to come home. They'll pretty much refuse to fight. They always know if we're protected or not. But we at home have absolutely no idea if our husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, and fiancés are safe. We're the ones with the difficult time. I don't care what any solider says. We're the ones who are alone and scared even in our home. Don't ever think that you're weak because you were scared and are now terrified. We have a right to be even if we know our husband or boyfriend or whatever is safe. We're the army wives that are being left behind for our courageous husbands and boyfriends to go off to protect us. As insane as that sounds."

My lip quivered, and Danny touched my face. I was hesitant, but eventually hunkered down in Danny's arms. I cried again, but it was soft almost relieved sobs that didn't last too long.

* * *

_Tom_

Luke was feeling better after Danny and I spent a couple of days with him. We went to see Xavier and Sam, and when Xavier threw himself into Danny's arms it still amazed me to see Danny treat Xavier as if he was still little.

"Honey, what's the matter?" He asked Xavier, pulling his head up to look at him.

I could see that Xavier was scared, his brown eyes that reminded me so much of Danny's were big and he was shaking. They were both quiet for a moment, sharing a brotherly moment, and then Danny pulled Xavier against his chest. I wanted to know what was wrong, but having a brother myself I knew not to ask. It may have been just between them.

_Speak of the devil,_ I thought as my phone rang. It was my own brother.

"Hey, Beau," I said, stepping out into hallway.

I'd called Jasper 'Beau' since I could talk. None of us know why but I still do.

"Hey, yourself. What's up?" Jasper asked, and I could faintly hear him doing something in the background.

"I'm at Sam and Xavier's apartment with Danny. Danny and Zay are having a brotherly heart to heart I think, so I'm in the hall."

"Interesting. I'm at home all alone because I feel like something _really big and really heavy_ ran me over. Annabelle's at work and everything so I'm lonely. I decided to bother you since you always seem to have time for your poor older brother."

"I always have time for you, Jazzy," I teased him, leaning against the wall.

"I didn't say anything to mom and dad about you being in town, but I need to talk to you. Annabelle is making me talk to you about this because it's been upsetting me. As much as I hate to say that," Jasper said, his voice getting quiet and embarrassed.

"Well, what is it, babe?" I asked, sitting down against the wall.

"When you told me about your friend, all I could think was that I was so relieved that it wasn't you. I know that sounds horrible," he paused for a long time. He took a long, deep breath before he started again. "I would have been heartbroken if it had been you. You can't even begin to fathom how much I love you."

I could hear how upset he was and how close to tears he was.

"Sweetheart, you know I resigned, but I understand. Danny has told me the same thing many times. It seems redundant to say that I'm safe and that I'm still at home, but it's true and I want you to know it again. You can always come see me if you want," I soothed him, hoping to make him feel better.

It had been really hard for my family when I enlisted into the Army. They knew the consequences if I wasn't careful or if a fluke incident arose. Anything could happen over there, and they knew it. I knew it, but I wanted to serve my country and protect my loved ones.

"Beau, honey, do you need to come stay with me for a little while? I can come and stay with you and Annabelle if you need me too. I don't want you to be upset," I said when he was quiet for a minute.

He didn't say anything, obviously not wanting to seem weak. He was already crying, I knew, but he was my big brother and he hated to seem vulnerable around me.

"Okay, that's it. I'm coming over. I'll be there in twenty minutes," I told him, and he only mumbled an 'okay' back to me. "I love you."

"I love you too," he breathed.

We hung up, and I wiped my thumb over the screen of my phone. The door to Xavier and Sam's apartment opened, but I didn't look up.

"Tommy?"

I felt a hand on my head, and sighed. I finally looked up and Danny was crouched next to me. Xavier was in the doorway, anxiously looking down the hallway every now and then.

"Jasper's having a hard time. I need to go see him," I said, looking Danny in the eye.

He touched my face, his fingers tracing along my jaw. "Okay. I may need to stay here…with Zay. You can take the Jeep to go see Jasper."

I nodded, and shifted to hug my husband. "I love you."

"I love you too, angel. Call me when you get to Jasper's."

I nodded again. I brought Danny his duffle bag and kissed him and my brother-in-law good-bye before leaving. Xavier looked upset still, anxious and skittish. He smiled weakly when I kissed his forehead, but I knew Danny would make things better for him. I didn't pry, knowing it might just be between them. I passed Sam in the hallway, telling him Danny was with Xavier. He nodded, and I let him go without anymore speech because he seemed just as nervous to get home.


	52. Anything

Sam

I passed Tom in the hallway, but he didn't talk for long. I was told Danny was with Xavier and something might be wrong. I tried the knob; it was unlocked. I knocked on the door, and peeked in. I shifted my backpack on my shoulders, and stepped into the apartment. Xavier was in the kitchen, and when I dropped my bag I walked over to him. I wrapped my arms around his waist, kissing his neck. He put his hands on mine on his belly, and looked down at them.

"Hey," he mumbled.

"Hey," I said, and he leaned back against me.

I kissed Xavier softly when he laid his head back on my shoulder, hoping to make whatever was wrong at least a little better. I smoothed his hair back, and he closed his eyes.

"Something wrong?"

I looked across the room, and Danny was standing in the doorway to the bathroom. He looked a little concerned, and worried. Xavier shook his head, and turned around in my arms. He pressed his forehead to mine, and closed his eyes. I held him close and rubbed his back. I didn't ask what was wrong, even though I wanted to know.

"Come sit down with me," Xavier asked me, his voice soft and quiet.

"Of course, sweetheart," I murmured, and kissed him very gently.

When I sat on the couch, Xavier stretched out and laid his head in my lap. I stroked his hair, carefully running my fingers through his soft, thick hair. Danny sat on the floor in front of Xavier, his arms crossed over his chest. I felt out of place and like I didn't know enough to be sitting here. But when Xavier nuzzled closer, and began telling me something I knew I needed to be here.

"It's just one of those days, you know? Everything goes wrong, and you don't give a shit about anything because nothing seems to matter," Xavier said, curling up against me and Danny.

"I know, sweet boy. I'll do whatever I can to make you feel better," I told him, my hand molding to his cheek.

He kissed my palm, and I could tell just me being here made him feel a little better.

* * *

I smiled as I unlocked the door to mine and Xavier's apartment. I juggled my backpack, keys, take-out from the diner, my dance bag, and flowers. Danny had stayed for a few days until he was sure Xavier was okay. When I heard music from inside the apartment, I peeked in before opening the door fully. I couldn't see anything. Xavier was nowhere to be seen and the bed was empty. I closed the door, setting my bags down, and put the food on the counter in the tiny little kitchen. I set the flowers down and toed off my shoes.

"Zay? Baby, are you home?" I said, recognizing the music as our James Taylor and Carole King CD.

I padded towards the couch, leaning over it, and smiled.

Xavier was stretched out on his belly on the couch, his head pillowed on his arms, dead asleep. He was wearing a T-shirt and boxer briefs, the same that he had slept in. I leaned down, smoothing his muffed hair down, and left a kiss on his head. He shifted, nuzzling his face deeper into the crooks of his arms. I turned off the music, and put the flowers in some water. I sat in front of the couch, watching TV with the volume down low, and ate my food. I had brought Xavier some food home, but since he was asleep I put it in the microwave to keep it warm. I jumped a little when a hand slid into my hair.

"Hey," a groggy voice said from behind me.

"Hey. You scared me," I told Xavier, laying my head back to look at him.

He smiled at me sleepily, and leaned in for a kiss. He eyed my food, licking his upper lip.

"That looks amazing. I am starving," he said, kissing my temple as if to suck up in case I'd give him some.

"You have some in the microwave," I told him, taking another bite of my grilled ham and cheese sandwich.

He got up fast, his feet making sticky noises on the linoleum tiles in the kitchen. He came back, patting the spot next to him, and I climbed up onto the couch with him. He leaned over to kiss my cheek.

"I love the flowers," he told me, smiling.

"I hoped you would." I smiled and kissed him.

We had lemon bars for dessert and ended up cuddling on the couch.

"I love you," I whispered into Xavier's ear, making him curl up against my warm breath.

"I love you too," he murmured back, kissing my arm that his head rested on.

"Do you feel okay, sweetheart? You feel a little warm," I said, smoothing his hair back.

"I don't feel great, but then again you were sick couple weeks ago so I may have gotten your cold," he mumbled, nuzzling closer to me.

I pulled him closer, and we were quiet for a moment. I could hear Xavier's breathing slow and deepen. His eyelashes brushed my arm as his eyes closed, and I kissed his head. He must not feel good and I was a little worried about him. I was very careful when I got up, climbing over the back of the couch. I got him a pillow from the bed, and kissed his forehead.

* * *

Xavier was on the couch when I came home from classes one day. He was eating from a bag of pretzels and watching TV. I didn't recognize the show though. I dropped my bags and walked over to the couch after toeing off my Sperry's.

"What show is this?" I asked, kissing Xavier's cheek.

He held up a DVD case and I took it. "_Queer as Folk_. Danny likes it and has the entire series. He let me borrow it since I have nothing better to do and he wants to "enlighten me into the world of gay men". Whatever the hell that means."

I laughed, and kissed his head, sitting the case back on the couch next to him. "Well, enjoy your "enlightenment". I'm going to take a shower."

When I came back out, Xavier was laying down on the couch, a pillow from the bed under his head, still watching the show. I sat at the other end of the couch, his feet in my lap, and watched with him. It was a pretty interesting show and I'll admit I enjoyed it. Xavier continued to watch while I worked on stuff for my classes and arranged things for my dance classes.

"Ew, God, Brian's such a douche. Sometimes. Other times he's pretty awesome, but most of the time I just wanna…ugh," Xavier said to no one in particular.

I smiled. "That's true. He needs to cool it a little. Take a chill pill, Brian, and stop being a shithead."

Xavier laughed, and I grinned. "I didn't know you felt so strongly about his attitude," Xavier giggled.

"Well, I just now found these feelings _dee-eep_ inside me," I joked.

Xavier kept laughing and I continued to grin while I worked. I lifted my stuff when Xavier stretched, and smiled at him. He sighed, and settled down again.

"Justin's cute," Xavier commented, yawning and sliding from the couch to change the disc.

"He's kind of turning into a mini Brian, but I'll agree with you," I said, letting him settle back on the couch with his feet in my lap.


	53. Birthday

_Tom_

"Why are you up this early?"

I jumped when I felt hands slide down my chest from behind me and a soft voice purred in my ear. I smiled though, and waited for whatever was to be said next.

"It's your birthday," the voice purred again, leaving a kiss on my neck.

"It is," I agreed, and filled in another word on the crossword puzzle in the paper.

"You should have slept late so I could have made you breakfast."

I smiled again, and drew a line through a clue on the paper.

"Happy birthday," was the whisper I got next.

"Thanks, baby," I murmured, leaning back to find my husband.

He grinned at me, his usual nose-scrunching, eye-squinting grin that melted my heart every time, and kissed me. It was a soft kiss, nothing more than a molding of our lips, but it was enough. It would always be enough.

* * *

Danny's hands were soft on my bare back. A cool, sea breeze blew into the porch, and I shivered. Danny pulled me closer and tugged the blanket from the floor up onto us. He swaddled both of us in it and wrapped me closer to his chest in his arms. We were warm and sweaty, but it was a good feeling. I could see our tray of plates and cups from breakfast on the floor near the door. We'd nourished ourselves before burning all of those calories off stretched out on the floor of the porch. A white wooden wall about hip height circled around the porch and hid us easily. I rested my head on Danny's shoulder and he stroked his fingers through my hair soothingly.

"I love you," he told me, his voice low and husky, but adoring.

I smiled against his hot skin. "I love you too."

I was sated and comfortable there on the porch with no one around but my husband and I in one of our Adirondack chairs. I was still running on endorphins that made me happy but very sleepy. I was always sleepy after sex, but Danny was always panting and alert. I didn't want to get up and go to a restaurant and have to be around other people. I just wanted to stay with my husband on our porch, in our chair, under a blanket, doing questionable activities all day long. That was the one thing I wanted for my birthday. Besides, it was Halloween. I didn't want Halloween-themed presents or a Halloween party. I just wanted my Danny and a chair on our porch and a blanket. Some could say I was antisocial.

"We need to get up, honey bee. We're meeting everyone at two. It's almost one now," Danny said, looking at his watch that was tossed onto the floor.

"I don't want to," I whined, burying my face in his shoulder and hugging myself closer.

He laughed. "Aww, I'm sorry, baby, but we have to. Everyone's going to be waiting for you. It's your day."

He stroked his hand down my back underneath the blanket, and I shivered, hunkering down, when his fingers ghosted just above my bottom. He smiled, and pulled me a little higher into his arms. He smoothed both his hands down my back, cupping them around my bottom, and I stiffened momentarily. His hands were soft and warm on my skin, and when he told me to just relax I did. He just rubbed his hands up and down my back and bottom, making me so sleepy and relaxed that I just wilted onto his chest.

"You're gonna make me go to sleep," I mumbled, snuggling closer to his warm body.

He chuckled, kissing my forehead. "I'm trying to figure out a way to convince you to get up. I'm going to make you really relaxed so you'll be so out of it you'll agree to get up."

"You're horrible," I told him simply, but arched into the softness of his hands.

"I know," he whispered in my ear, making me shiver. "But if I suck up to you, you'll be more likely to do what I ask."

I smiled, and nodded. "That's true."

He kept up his ministrations, and I nuzzled closer and closer. I'm not sure if I fell asleep or not, but I just remember being picked up and suddenly coming to. Danny held onto me tightly like always, keeping me secure in his arms.

"Easy, sweetheart, I've got you," he hushed me, and kissed my forehead.

I was fully awake now, watching Danny as he carried me upstairs.

"What time is it?" I asked him, worried we were going to be late.

"One-thirty. You're fine. We've got time," he assured me, and I nodded.

He set me down on the bed, and I rubbed at my face. Danny was digging through his drawer, and pulled out a pair of boxers. They had bananas on them and said 'Top Banana'. I smiled, and he smirked at me. He pulled those on and tossed me some grey briefs. I tugged those on while he found us some clothes—an Army T-shirt and blue jeans for me and a black T-shirt and jeans for him. He found his "good" sneakers (which meant that they weren't falling apart but still pretty grungy) and I wore Sperry's.

Danny drove my Jeep so I could relax and held my hand the entire way. He even held my hand when we walked into the seafood restaurant. He held the door for me, and pulled my chair out for me once we got to our table. We were the last there, probably on purpose so they could all embarrass me to where I couldn't stop blushing.

I sat at the head of the table, with Calix at the other end. Apparently he, Simon, and Danny were the ones to put this together. Simon was too shy to sit at the other head of the table, so he sat on Calix's left. Danny sat on my right with Rebecca and Saul in between him and Simon at the other end. Saul and Rebecca were our token straight couple, but they didn't care at all. Joe, Scott, and a lesbian couple, Alaska and Scarlett, that were mutual friends through Joe and Scott.

I wasn't expecting anything from them, so even the cards they gave me shocked me. I had been getting cards in the mail from my family, Danny's family, and far-away friends. I even got one from my dad, who I hadn't seen in years and who still pissed me off that he left my mom, but he's my dad. What can I do? The lunch was spent catching up and joking around. I wasn't allowed near the check which Calix paid for. I thanked him many times, meekly apologizing when he told me to stop and that it was his present to me since he knew I loved this restaurant. Someone had a camera which I think was passed around because many times during a conversation I'd be momentarily blinded by a flash. Simon hardly "talked" the entire time so when we were all standing outside and still talking I touched his arm. He tensed a little, but relaxed quickly when he realized it was me.

When Simon nudged him, Calix joined us so I could ask Simon if he was okay. Danny was catching up with Rebecca and Saul, so I wasn't needed anywhere. After Calix signed to his husband, Simon seemed to grow even quieter. He looked at the ground, obviously trying to find an answer. Calix signed something else to him, and I suddenly felt like I was asking too much. Simon signed halfheartedly to Calix, and put his hands behind his back when he was finished. Calix turned back to me after pulling Simon underneath his arm.

"Simon's parents' anniversary was a few days ago. He's still upset," Calix explained, his voice low.

I nodded, and turned when I heard my name. "Tell him I'm sorry. It doesn't look right for him to be upset. He's such a happy person."

Calix smiled, kissing Simon's head. "He is. That's what I love about him. Go over to Danny. I'll tell him for you."

I nodded, and Calix leaned in to kiss my cheek. "Happy birthday."

"Thanks." I walked away after he'd patted my shoulder and shoved gently.

Danny was almost eager to pull me into his arms. He smoothed my hair back, ruffling it, but it fell easily back into place. He leaned down, his lips touching gently to my forehead. I winced as a flash went off, and we both scowled at Alaska.

"Okay, come on. We need a real kiss for the documentation of this momentous occasion," Alaska teased, and we both sighed but were definitely ready for a real kiss.

I stood up on my tiptoes and Danny ducked his head. Our lips molded together and a flash popped. My hands rested on Danny's shoulders and his rested on my hips. Our kiss went a little farther than planned, and I was blushing hard when Calix said something about our kiss and we broke apart. Danny laughed and cradled my head in his hand. He held me close to his chest and protected me from our friends' snarky comments.

"Leave him alone," Danny jokingly defended me, kissing my head. "I'll protect you, baby."

Scarlett came over next to Alaska, and said something to her. Alaska was tall, thin, blond and loud while Scarlett was short, red-haired, quiet, and pudgier. She was naturally curvier and thicker, but she was also carrying hers and Alaska's child which added to that.

"We need to go home. These are so going on Facebook. Look for them," Alaska told us, before Scarlett finally tugged her away. They held hands all the way to their car, a dusty Prius, and Alaska opened Scarlett's door for her.

"I guess we're going home as well," Danny said, and smoothed my hair down.

"And do what? Give him _the rest_ of his present?" Rebecca taunted, grinning.

I scowled, and Danny laughed. "Yes. In fact that's what I plan on doing."

I flushed and ducked my head.

"Don't embarrass him. It's his birthday," Calix defended me, coming over with Simon.

Simon looked a little better, more color in his face, and his eyes were brighter. Calix was always sticking up for me when Danny couldn't do anything more since he was my husband.

"Thank you," I said to Calix, and he smiled at me.

"No problem, sweetheart," he said, Simon nestling himself against his side.

Simon and Calix offered to help carry the few bags of my presents that I was really surprised to get to our car while Rebecca, Saul, Joe, and Scott left because Mel was with a sitter and Joe and Scott had a Halloween party to go to later. Danny popped the trunk but Calix and Simon wouldn't let him take the bags.

"You'll obviously be working hard later, so we'll save you your energy," Calix teased us, and I scowled at him.

"No comment," I said, cracking a smile.

"Don't try to tell us you're not going home to have sex. Honestly, we know how gay men celebrate birthdays. We do the same thing. Don't worry," Calix said, kissing Simon's temple. With his lip still pressed to Simon's temple, he murmured, "Don't we, baby?"

Simon nodded, obviously knowing where this conversation had gone. He was anything but oblivious. We said good-bye to Calix and Simon, Danny holding my door as I climbed in, and waved when we pulled out. In my side mirror I could see Calix wrap his arm around Simon's shoulders as they walked to their car.

* * *

"You have to eat something, honey."

I buried my face in my pillow, turning it away from Danny. I felt a hand on my waist, and jumped when Danny found my ticklish spots. His smile scrunched his nose, shifting his freckles, and he pounced on me. I struggled, but he was too strong. He always was. He was one of the few people that were stronger than me. Xavier and Sam didn't ever try to wrestle with me, knowing full well they'd come out with bruises.

"No! Stop!" I cried, laughing and trying to get away from my husband.

His fingers were long and could easily render me immobile by finding my most ticklish spots. He knew exactly where each and every one was which made my life miserable when he decided I needed to laugh.

"Danny," I whined, twisting away from him. "Stop, please."

"And why would I do that?" He asked me, grinning.

"Because you love me?" I asked, kicking now that I had a leg out from under him.

He caught my ankle, easily wrapping his hand around it.

"I do love you," he told me, momentarily letting me rest. "But you've got to give me a better reason than that."

I decided to think from the place many men think from and it gets them into trouble; way lower south than the brain.

"Because I want you to make love to me," I said with all seriousness in my voice.

Danny's hands rested finally on my hips, and he smiled. "Exactly."

I smiled, and he slid down me a little further. We were 50/50 on foreplay. But since we'd been going at this for more than a couple hours it was a good thing right now. Danny was the one to go to if you wanted someone to talk dirty to you. His voice was deep anyway, but it became husky with his arousal and whenever he spoke it went straight to your groin. It was beautiful and oh so arousing. Danny kissed down my chest and belly, and I pressed my head back into the mattress at the sensation it caused. I laughed when he pulled my legs over his shoulders, but shivered when he got even closer to my sex. He stretched towards the nightstand, grabbing a condom out of the spilled box and snagged the lube. We attempted bareback at one point, but disliked it a lot. We felt naked and went right back to our usual ways with condoms and lube.

I bit my lip, my entire body tensing a bit, when Danny's cold fingers pressed against the most intimate part of me.

"Sweetheart, you need to relax," he murmured, his lips finding my hairline.

I took a deep breath and physically felt myself relax. I kept myself relaxed even when Danny's fingers slipped inside me. That just made me even more relaxed and I arched towards Danny. It was incredibly easy to ready me and it really wasn't long until Danny's hands were pressed into the mattress on either side of my head and he was positioned almost dauntingly over me. I pulled my legs back since I'd unhooked them from over Danny's strong shoulders and tucked them in between mine and Danny's chests. I closed my eyes, feeling the familiar stinging warmth for a second before it was replaced with an arousing heat. I slipped my legs around my husband's waist, pulling him down further. Danny's lips found my jaw, pushing my head up to get to my neck. His lips were soft against my throat, and he kissed down to my chest, his lips then wrapping around my left nipple.

"Ahh, Danny," I gasped, arching my back up towards him.

He smiled around my nipple, but then switched to the other. My back didn't touch the bed for at least two minutes. But once Danny was satisfied with my heavy breathing and my aroused nipples, he pressed gently on my chest for me to relax. I settled on the bed, just letting myself feel. I didn't like making Danny do all the work, but he forced me to pretty much every time we had any form of sex. He wanted to treat me if I'd hung the moon. His lips continued to find every inch of my face, professing his love for me and his appreciation of my body in between kisses.

I hissed out a curse when my arousal sank almost low enough for me to fall asleep. The feelings were still good and I still wanted to keep going with my husband, but I just needed to tell Danny. I tangled my fingers in his hair, the curls spilling over my fingers, and he looked up at me.

"What is it, baby?" He asked me, slowing down and shifting me a little with his hand under my back.

I let him move me to make himself more comfortable, and once he let me settle I looked up at him.

"Can we move to a different position? I'm tired, but I don't want to fall asleep on you. That wouldn't be fair to you," I told him, and he brushed the backs of his curled fingers over my cheek.

He smiled a sweet, adoring smile that really made my stomach turn with butterflies. "Of course, honey bee. That's sweet of you."

I blushed, and he kissed my forehead. I winced when he pulled out of me. We both had the same thing in mind, and settled on our sides. Turns out we were both exhausted. Danny's hips moved slower and shallower almost. He kissed all over my back, making me even sleepier. I used his arm as a pillow, and he just made me feel loved and adored and accepted. Like no one depended on me and only Danny was there to take care of me. I was his, and he was mine. We were the only two people in the world and we were in love.

Danny's fingers pressed into the skin of my hip, and I gasped. His hand slid down to my member and I whimpered when his fingers stroked me. I didn't last too much longer after that and neither did Danny. He left me only for a moment, a moment in which I really wanted to just roll over onto my belly and go to sleep, but Danny pushed against my shoulder when he came back to me. He wiped my belly off, and then folded the washcloth again and gently swiped it over my sweaty face. He kissed me softly before he disappeared back into the bathroom. He came back, climbing into bed with me, and stretched out on his back. He was a very universal sleeper, never in one position, but I usually stayed on my belly or side. Danny loved it when I slept on my belly because apparently I looked cute and he could easily reach my back to put me into a deeper sleep with a few strokes of his hand. I only ever lay on my back when I lay in our hammock.

I lay on my belly, but curled up against Danny once I started to doze off. My leg hooked over his hips, but he didn't move. He just crooked his arm so I was contained against his warm body, and we finally nodded off together.


	54. Fight

_Danny_

Tom and I sat on the floor of our family room sorting through boxes of pictures. Tom sat in between my legs, his back against my chest, while we looked through all of our photos. It felt indescribably amazing to hold Tom so close. I just had a need to hold him today, and he was always willing to sit with me and let me. He loved for me to hold him.

"Look at you in high school!" I teased him, showing him a picture.

He blushed, and took the picture from me.

"I never knew you were a cheerleader," I told him, and kissed his neck.

"Only for a year or two," he defended, shoving the photo back into a stack and changing the subject.

We found pictures of when Tom went overseas for the first time, and then some from the second time. He laid his head on my chest when we looked at those pictures, needing to be closer to me. But that didn't last too long when I found a picture of him kissing another man. The picture had a lot of sand in it, which meant it was taken overseas. It wasn't from his first tour since he looked older than eighteen and the date on the picture was only a few years ago.

"If you can explain, then I won't get mad," I told him, trying to give him a chance, and he turned around to look at me.

"It was nothing, I swear to God, Danny. We were just fooling around. They knew I was married . . ."

"But you still let it happen. And then you brought the picture home to _our_ house where _our_ daughter and _your_ husband lived _with you_. Obviously you didn't think, Tom."

Tom flushed, and I carefully got up, still holding the picture. Tom didn't follow me, sitting dejectedly on the carpet in the family room still. He looked at his lap, and I gripped the picture. I had fucked up once during this relationship but I really didn't expect Tom to do something like that. It just didn't seem like him to do this. I could barely look at the picture of Tom making out with another man. A man I didn't even know. A man I didn't know if Tom even knew.

"How far did this kiss go?" I asked him, not really looking at him but tilting my head towards him.

His voice was soft, apprehensive, and apologetic when he spoke. "That was it. I promise."

"Who is this?" I asked now, feeling that I had a right to know.

"Sergeant George Miller. He was in my unit, but he was injured and sent home before we came home." I almost felt bad for Tom hearing how sad he was. Almost.

"Why?" I felt my throat get tight, but steadied my voice.

"We were bored, and I was easy to embarrass. You can see how flushed my cheeks are. I was embarrassed, but we were just fooling around. I don't care if you don't believe me. I know I messed up," Tom mumbled, and I looked at the picture.

His cheeks were flushed, and when I looked over at him, still on the floor in the family room, his cheeks were even redder. I really just wanted to go over to him, hold him and tell him I loved him and forgave him. But something was stopping me.

"Did you think of how I would feel if I saw this?" I asked, leaning my hands on the kitchen table.

"I was only thinking of you while I was over there. But it's been years, and I forgot about it. I'm sorry."

"No, you're not. You forgot, and now it's come back to bite you for neglecting to either hide it from me or tell me outright," I grumbled, throwing the picture down on the kitchen table and stood up. "I'm going for a walk."

I pulled on my sneakers, grabbed a sweatshirt, and slammed the door on my way out. I walked up the street, putting my sweatshirt on while I walked, and just wanted to get away for a moment. My sneakers crunched on the sidewalk, and that was the only sound in the quiet November evening save for my breathing. Kids were inside; families were having dinner; and I was fighting with my husband because of something he did in Afghanistan three years ago. I was hungry, but I didn't care right now. I put my hands in my hoodie's front pocket, and kept walking. It took me about an hour to walk around the entire neighborhood, and when I came home finally I still wasn't feeling better about the situation.

"Where did you go?"

I dropped my sneakers by the door, looking up. Tom was in the doorway to the kitchen, his face was flushed and his cheeks tear streaked while more tears pooled in his grey eyes and slipped down his cheeks. I stood up, liking that my height separated us at least by almost a foot, and felt myself become standoffish and annoyed again.

"For a walk. I told you," I snapped.

"For a walk where? Around the city?" He asked angrily, sniffling and pushing tears off his face roughly.

He knew I could hardly stand to see him cry and this was a bad cry. It was one of those snotty, wailing cries that I especially didn't like.

"I went around the neighborhood. I was only gone for an hour," I snarled.

He took a step back, and blinked. More tears snaked their way down his cheeks, and he pulled in a long breath through his mouth. He walked away, into the kitchen and I followed. It wasn't like him to walk away from problems like this. He'd admitted things to me earlier, but that got us nowhere.

"You could have called me. I was really worried," he mumbled, again showing me how he knew he could manipulate me with the sound of his congested, apologetic, concerned voice.

But I was too fucking mad.

"_Called you?"_ I asked, shocked and unbelieving. _"You're_ the one who cheated on me, and _I_ should have _called you?"_

I had grabbed his arm, and jerked him around to look at me. He gasped; looking at my hand wrapped around his arm, and then moved his eyes up to my face. He was genuinely scared now, his eyes betrayed him that, and I ground my teeth together.

"It was just a kiss," he choked out, stumbling forward when I pulled him closer to me.

"But it was a kiss when I was at home, worried sick for you, trying to take care of our sick daughter. I had to explain to teachers why she was upset all of the time, because we adopted her and then you left and she was sick beyond belief. Her life was falling apart, taking mine with it, and you were overseas serving your country while you made out with a man in your unit. How do you think I felt all alone with a sick child? How do you think I feel now?"

Tom didn't look at me now, tears leaking from his eyes still. He pulled away from me, and bit his lip after ripping his arm away from me. I must have hurt him. I opened my mouth before my mind could tell me not say what I was thinking.

"You might as well just have died over there."

Tom looked at me, his mouth falling open only a little. His breathing was a pant, and he blinked, shocked. He recovered himself, eyebrows furrowing over steel grey eyes.

"Maybe I should have," he screamed at me, new tears gushing down his cheeks, and took off towards the stairs.

I watched him go, knowing I really fucked up now. I saw all the pictures still out on the floor, and wandered over to them. I folded myself on the floor next to them, and picked up a stack nearest me. A picture of Tom and I sat on the top. He'd just come home for the second time. He'd jumped into my arms, his legs going around my waist, and kissed me when Leroy had snapped this picture. Tom and I were both smiling into our kiss, but we were just happy to be in each others' arms.

I sat that one aside, and flipped through the rest. I picked out certain ones that I liked. A picture of Tom and I cuddled together by a bonfire my parents had a couple years ago. The fire cast an orangey glow on us, and we were both grinning at the camera. We were both in sweatshirts and jeans, our feet bare, with a big blanket wrapped around me and then Tom, with Tom's back against my chest.

Another picture of Tom and me kissing under a fireworks display on the Fourth of July.

A picture of Tom and me laughing while Leroy took our picture before we went to the Atlanta Pride Parade. We were covered in rainbows and other pride-like things, so happy to be celebrating our sexuality together. This was only a year before we adopted our daughter, and we hadn't been to a pride parade since.

I found a piece of scrapbooking paper and a glue stick, and grabbed my pictures. Arranging the four photos on the paper, I glued them all down. In the spaces between the pictures, I made a dividing line of glue and sprinkled silver glitter on it. I tapped the paper to get the excess glitter off and smiled ruefully at my creation.

I crept up the stairs, and carefully pressed open the ajar door to the master bedroom. Tom was in bed, the covers pulled up to his shoulders, and his eyes were closed. I knew he wasn't asleep though. He didn't say anything when I propped my paper on his nightstand, or when I got my pillows off the bed, or when I kissed his forehead.

He didn't say anything when I started to apologize. "What I said is unforgivable, and I apologize. I hope you can forgive me, because I forgive you. I just wish it hadn't taken me this long. I love you, angel."

I kissed his forehead one more time before I left, pulling the door only two-thirds the way shut. I cleaned up the pictures and other things, setting them on the coffee table, and made my bed on the couch. I shed my jeans, somewhat folding them and laying them on the floor by the couch, and stretched out on the couch. It didn't accommodate my long body as well as our bed did, but it would have to do. I lay under the thin cotton blanket, watching the ceiling in the dark, and just thought hard.

I jumped when I heard a noise in the kitchen, but relaxed when a familiar, petite figure appeared in the shadows at the end of the couch. A piece of square scrapbooking paper dangled from long fingers, and I heard Tom sniffle.

"I'm sorry," he whimpered, and I sat up.

I turned on the lamp on the end table, and looked up at Tom. His face was still flushed, tears still falling from his eyes, and it broke my heart. Especially to know that I caused those tears.

"Sit down, baby," I coaxed, sliding over so he could sit.

He sat down next to me, his entire body shaking, and looked at the paper in his hand. "I'm sorry," he repeated in his pitiful whimper.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," I soothed him; still not touching him though I wanted so badly to. "I'm the one who should be begging for you to accept my apology."

"I've already forgiven you. I forgave you when you told me you apologized and told me you loved me. How could I ever go longer than a few hours angry at you? I would never be able to live without you," he told me, looking up from the paper to look me in the eye. "I actually forgave you after I screamed at you, which I am going to apologize for. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."

"I shouldn't have said what I did. That is the worst possible thing I could have said to you, and I did. I just hope I can live with what I did even though you forgive me."

I was very still when Tom shifted, sitting the paper on the coffee table, and moved to sit right up against me. He laid his head on my chest, wiping his nose on my T-shirt. I smiled, kissing his head, and took a deep breath of him. He only got up for a moment, getting something to drink. He always had to have tea or Coke or something to drink in case he woke up during the night needing something to drink. He sat the cup on the coffee table, on a coaster next to his paper, and I stretched out on the couch again. I turned onto my side, and he slipped underneath the blanket with me. He tucked his head under my chin, curling his little body against mine on the couch.

Everything was as it should be. Tom was curled up as close as physically possible to me, and I rubbed his back to relax him further and put him to sleep. We made up and were on, not just good, but fucking amazing terms with each other.

"I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too. Forever."

I smiled. "And always."


	55. Meal

We pushed our fight behind us. The evidence had already been put through the shredder thanks to Tom after I left for my walk. I was very careful when I got up from the couch, making sure not to wake up my still dozing husband, and silently cursed my aching back. I made coffee, and grinned when Tom poked his head up over the short wall between the kitchen table and the couch. His hair was incredibly messy, and his eyes were sleepy, but he'd smelled coffee. I'd weaned him off hot tea in the morning, but he still drank it at night.

Tom padded into the kitchen, after rolling off the couch, and kissed my head as he passed me. He sat down next to me at the kitchen table, his mug of coffee in front of him, and sighed tiredly. He smiled at me, blinking slowly.

"You look exhausted," I teased him, and he nodded.

"But I'm perfectly happy," he told me, stirring sugar and French vanilla cream into his coffee.

We drank our coffee, decided to go out for breakfast, and went upstairs to get dressed. Tom took a shower while I searched through my drawers for something to wear. I found some jeans and a burnt orange long sleeved T-shirt. Tom and I traded places, and he got dressed while I showered. When I got dressed, Tom lay on the bed and watched me. His eyes were amused but still loving.

"Come on, Tommy. I'm hungry and if we don't get actual food soon I'm going to get very cranky," I told him.

He hopped up, following after me like a puppy, and I grinned. We drove Tom's Jeep to the nearest Cracker Barrel and had a quiet but enjoyable breakfast together. When we got home, Tom sat on his laptop while I read. Tom turned to me, and snuggled up to my side. I smiled, leaning down and kissed his head.

"When do you feel most vulnerable?" He asked, and looked up at me.

His head was cradled against my shoulder with my arm wrapped around him. He fit so perfectly there it felt as if he was made for me. I kissed his forehead while I thought.

"When I'm upset," I answered him, and he nodded.

"I feel like that when I'm embarrassed."

He unconsciously pressed closer to my side, and I tucked him against me.

"What part of my body do you love the most?"

I smiled, and he peered up at me.

"Other than your manhood," I started, and he blushed. "I love your belly. I love to kiss and lick it because it drives you crazy."

He smiled shyly, and then said, "I love your legs. They're so strong and full of muscle. I also love your arms. I feel so incredibly safe wrapped in your entire body."

That made me feel great knowing that my husband felt so incredibly safe with me. That meant I was definitely doing something right.

"What part of _your_ body do you love the most?" He wondered aloud.

"Hmmm. I like my torso because you can lie against me and we're both comfortable," I told him, and he ran a hand down my chest and belly.

I smiled, and he grinned mischievously.

"I like my back because you like to give me back rubs and you know I can't resist." Tom giggled when I kissed his cheek, pulling him tightly against me.

Tom discarded his laptop to the floor, carefully I might add, and crawled into my lap. He settled on my hips, and I brought my legs up behind him. I loved to sit with him like this. He wrapped his arms around my neck, and I snaked mine around his tiny waist.

"What's a fantasy you want us to try? But you don't have to have one," Tom asked, and then rushed out a quick follow up so I wouldn't feel obligated.

I smiled, spreading my fingers on his back and pressed him forward. His face was inches from mine, and he smiled, his cheeks turning pink.

"I want us to make love in the bed of a truck . . . and maybe the backseat of a car," I told him, kissing his jaw.

"Well, your brother has a truck, and we've been meaning to go down to see everyone for Thanksgiving," he offered, while I continued my gentle assault on his sensitive neck.

"That's true, but we'll have to wait for that because I think we have other plans right now," I whispered to him, and he smiled shyly, kissing my forehead.

"I believe we do," he agreed, and I carefully rolled us over.

A lazy Sunday inside—making love all day—sounded like the best thing in the world right now.

* * *

Tom yawned, his face scrunching up adorably before smoothing out and relaxing. His head rested on my chest, over my heart, and he was so warm against me. We were both sweaty and getting clammy, but we were just happy to be so close.

"I will never ever take this for granted again," Tom mumbled suddenly.

"Take what for granted, sweetheart?" I asked him, stroking my hand down his clammy back.

"Making love with you," he told me, as if it was so obvious.

I smiled, smoothing my fingers over the small of his back. I didn't know what to say, but it made me happy to know that he loved being close to me like that.

It was getting close to evening, but I wanted to really make love to him one more time if he'd let me.

"Baby," I crooned, stroking his hair away from his face. "Will you let me make love to you one more time?"

He smiled, his eyes sleepy but adoring when he looked up at me, and nodded. "I'd love that."

I smiled back, shifting out from under him. I grabbed a condom and the lube, and Tom situated himself underneath me. He always let me shift him to where I needed him but I'd never move him to make him uncomfortable. His eyes were closed, and I could tell he was tired. His eyes opened though when I pressed close to him. His mouth opened in a quiet gasp, and I smiled. I slipped my hand underneath his back, shifting him again, and he continued to bring sharp but soft breaths into his lungs with every down movement of my hips. His back arched off the bed, his eyes closing, and his gasp finished in a whimper. His eyelids fluttered, and he bit his lower lip to keep quiet. I shifted onto my forearms, sliding my arms underneath Tom's upper torso and cradling his head in my hand. He opened his eyes to look at me, the grey very dark now instead of the metallic silver-y color they usually are, and smiled an easy, loving smile. He smoothed his hands over my shoulders, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me even closer. Our chests rested against one another and he was easy to kiss now. When I wasn't kissing his slightly bruised mouth, my lips were everywhere else on his face. I especially loved to kiss his forehead, knowing how comforting and sweet that was to both of us.

Tom shifted a little, but settled quickly and seemed even more comfortable. I held him impossibly close, just sharing the love I felt for him, and he shared with me all the love he felt as well. As we both came closer to our orgasm, Tom's skin felt even clammier but he just pulled me closer and kissed me. When we came together, Tom gasped and buried his face in my shoulder while I kissed his shoulder and whispered to him how much I loved him. He was panting, but he was sated and looked as if he was just as happy as he could ever possibly be. He only winced a little when I pulled out of him, but he just stretched, and I pressed kisses down his belly. He smiled, running his fingers through my hair, and folded his arms behind his head to prop himself up to watch me. His smile grew wider, his teeth peeking out now, and I grinned up at him against his skin. He was so beautiful like this: sated, and sweaty with the wetness glistening in the dim lamplight. I was mainly covered in his . . . you know, so he just stretched like a cat again and settled on his back while I got up. He definitely had some on him, but not as much as I did. He couldn't help but just stretch again when I wiped his belly off.

* * *

Tom was up early for work about a week or so later. He kissed me good-bye when I got up, and I waved to him from the porch. I'd saved up a whole bunch of days off so I could go on Thanksgiving break and still have a few days left over to relax with my husband. I cleaned the entire house (almost twice) and packed us both for our trip after Tom got off work to Georgia for Thanksgiving. When Tom came home, he was excited and very happy. He practically leaped into my arms when I met him at the door. I laughed, hugging him, and kissed him quickly.

"Go change fast, sweetie. We gotta get going," I told him, smacking his backside to get him going towards the stairs.

He giggled, leaning up to kiss me quickly, and dashed up the stairs and into our room. He came jumping down the stairs a few minutes later and waited like an excited puppy by the door. I grabbed our bags, tossing him his, and grabbed the keys. I locked the front door while Tom practically skipped to the Mazda. We alternated between taking the Jeep and the Mazda down to visit our families so each car got some love. Once we were on the road, though, Tom calmed down and crashed out in the passenger seat. I rubbed the back of his hand softly with my thumb since he'd gone to sleep holding my hand. He sniffed softly in his sleep, shifting in the seat, but then settled again and quieted. He was so adorable when he slept, and I had to make myself focus on the road and not him. He woke up when I turned into my parents' neighborhood. He smiled sleepily at me, and I reached over to smooth his hair back.

"You need to take a nap," he told me as I turned off.

I was parked in the driveway next to Xavier's truck, and I looked at my husband. He smiled sheepishly, his cheeks pinking up, and I chuckled.

"Honey, I wish I could take a nap, but I am _not_ leaving you alone with my family. I may be cruel sometimes, but I'm not going to go that far," I told him, and stroked his cheek.

I cupped my hand under his chin, pulling him closer. I kissed him softly, and only for a moment. We got out, and, being the good husband I am, I got Tom's bag and let him scamper up to the porch. Someone let him in, but my brother came out to meet me. Xavier smiled at me from the bottom of the porch steps, and took one of the bags from me. I pecked him a quick kiss when I got close enough, wrapping my arm around him.

"How've you been, sweetheart?" I asked him.

"Fine. How was Tom's birthday?" He said as we walked up the porch steps.

"It was fun. We spent most of the day in the house if you know what I mean," I joked, and Xavier laughed.

Tom wasn't in the family room when we walked in the house. Sam was stretched out on the couch, dozing, and I leaned down to kiss his forehead after I put our bags by the stairs. I smiled when he sniffed and shifted a little, his eyelids fluttering. I caught Xavier watching him, an adoring smile on his face. I kissed Xavier's head when he blushed, knowing I'd caught him, and went to find my husband. He was in the kitchen, perched on a stool, talking with my mom. He perked up when I touched his back. I leaned down when he craned his neck back and kissed him lightly. He blushed, remembering my mom standing barely a yard from us, but she waved it off.

"It doesn't bother me, honey. Don't be embarrassed," she reassured him.

I rubbed his back, kissing his head, and he smiled at me. Tom wanted to change into some more comfortable shorts so he left and took our bags upstairs to my old room. I sat and talked with my mom.

"I don't think I've ever really told you how much I love having Tom in our family," my mom told me, and I smiled.

"No, I don't think you have. But you told me by just accepting him and including him," I said, linking my fingers together on the counter.

"You married him and brought him home to meet us. I wasn't going to push him away and deny him a place in this family. He means everything to you so he'll mean everything to me and your father. We consider him our son just like you, Aaron, Leroy, Xavier, and even Sam," she explained, continuing to cut red skin potatoes in half and put them in the Crock Pot.

"That makes me feel great to hear. I've never been worried that you guys don't accept him or anything, but he's worried that, even though we have Xavier and Sam, you're uncomfortable with him wanting to be so close to me all the time." I wanted to resolve Tom's worries without him knowing to make him more relaxed around my family.

"Did you see the way his face changed when you walked in and just barely touched his back?" My mom asked me, obviously going somewhere with this.

I nodded once. "Yeah. He was excited. He was excited to come up here. He's been very happy lately, but he'd always thrilled to see me. Except when we're fighting, but then no one's happy to see their spouse, but whatever."

My mom put her knife down. "Danny, I don't see that when Carrie and Aaron or Ashley and Leroy or Nicole and Kyle see each other. Only Tom looks like that when he sees you. Xavier and Sam look that excited when they see each other, but I have never seen that kind of pure happiness to see someone come from my other children. To see how much Tom loves you will only make me love him more. I've seen your heart broken many times, Danny, but seeing it whole and full of love makes me that much more glad that you two found each other. To see my child happy can only make me happier. I'm willing to love Tom no matter what he's done, though that's not much. He's done a lot for you, since we thought you were never going to get married, and I'm going to love him forever for that. And if you screw things up with him, we'll disown you and keep him."

I laughed, but was deeply touched by what my mom had told me. I jumped a little when hands touched my waist. Tom grinned at me, and I pulled him in between my legs. I wrapped him in my arms, and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around my neck, smiling at me, and I pressed him even closer with my hands on his back. He had on a pair of sweat shorts now; his shoes gone to leave low-cut thin athletic socks. My mom smiled at me when I looked back as Tom tugged me out of the kitchen. She nodded towards Tom and I turned back to my husband. Tom talked more than a mile a minute but I paid him more attention than anything else around me. We sat sideways on the love seat, Tom in between my legs where he fit perfectly and preferred to sit. But I got more and more drowsy, unable to keep my eyes open. Sam was still asleep on the couch, Xavier sitting on the floor in front of him almost protectively. Whenever Sam moved an inch, Xavier shot up and turned around to make sure he was okay.

With a heavy warmth on my chest, I couldn't help but rest my head on the back of the couch and close my eyes. Tom laid his head on my shoulder, and I slipped my arm around his waist to hold him closer. I went to sleep quickly, obviously needing the nap that Tom had told me I needed.

* * *

I brought a fast breath into my lungs when something leaped onto my chest. The breath was forced out of me in a weak cough. Someone said something disapproving, and the heavy something left my chest quickly. I reached up, rubbing at my face, and sat up. Nicole had one of my nieces in her arms, walking towards the kitchen, and Tom was gone from my lap. Sam wasn't on the couch anymore, and Xavier wasn't on the floor either. I panted heavily, trying to catch my breath, and flinched when a hand touched my shoulder. Tom jumped back, literally, and looked at me anxiously. I ran a hand back through my curls, but they just sprang back into shape.

"I didn't mean to scare you," Tom apologized, looking pitifully sorry.

I smiled, pulling him onto the love seat with me—his legs framing mine on the couch, and kissed his forehead. "You're fine. I was just a little disoriented since Beth jumped on my chest while I was still asleep. It startled me and knocked the breath out of me. I'm fine."

Tom leaned in this time, kissing my forehead, and smoothed his hands over my hair. His lips stayed pressed to my forehead for a long moment, but it was comforting and warm. My hands splayed on his tiny waist, I rested my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat. He stroked my hair, twirling random curls around his long fingers, and took a deep breath.

"I think dinner's ready, babe," he whispered, kissing my forehead again when I looked up at him.

I closed my eyes against his kiss, but opened them again when his lips left my skin. He smiled at me, an easy, loving smile, and kissed me full on the mouth. His thumbs pressed gently into my cheekbones, but I loved him initiating the kiss.

"Hey, lovebirds, dinner's ready. Looks like you'll have to eat something to keep your strength for tonight."

Tom blushed while I turned to look at Aaron. I glared at him, and he grinned, retreating into the kitchen. Tom nuzzled against my neck and cheek to get me to turn back to him, and so I did. I smiled, reaching around him to scratch the small of his back gently. He shivered, loving for me to do that. He loved back rubs and scratches but especially loved for me to pay attention to his lower back. He slid off my lap, his socked feet hitting the carpet with no sound, and reached for my hand. When I stood, I stretched my arms above my head, standing up on the balls of my feet. It made me even taller than Tom doing that, and he smiled up at me. I ruffled my hair to un-mash it from my head, and held Tom's hand as we walked into the kitchen. Just the little things like holding hands made such a connection between Tom and me. I yawned when we hit the tile floor of the kitchen, and looked over at my family at our huge kitchen table. We were the last to get food and join the table. Pot roast with red skin potatoes and carrots made in the Crock Pot with blueberry muffins (a tradition in our family) was our dinner. It was filling and definitely one of my favorite meals.


	56. Thanks

_Danny_

Tom and I had dumped my duffle bag of everything I packed onto my bed and packed a bag for our trip in Xavier's truck to a very secluded, secret spot by a creek. All I had to do was get Xavier's keys.

"Xavier, sweetheart, can we borrow your truck?" I asked my brother, who was still half asleep but functioning.

I smoothed his hair back out of his face and he looked up at me.

"Sure," he whispered, blinking his sleepy brown eyes at me. "The keys are on the table by the door."

He didn't even ask why, and I was grateful. But that worried me a little.

"Honey, you should go back to sleep. You look exhausted," I told him, brushing my knuckles down his cheek like I always did to him when he was little.

His breathing was kind of shallow, like he was having a hard time breathing, and he was slow to respond to anything. I knelt down next to him, and pressed my hand to his cheek.

"Tom, can you come here?" I called to my husband.

Tom appeared, and looked from me to Xavier. "What's wrong, sweetie?"

"Does he feel hot to you?" I asked him. "My hands are kind of cold so I can't tell."

Tom very gently pressed his hand to Xavier's forehead. Xavier barely did anything but pant out, "What's wrong?"

"He feels extremely hot. Baby, did you feel like this last night?" Tom said, and stroked Xavier's hair out of his face.

Xavier was sucking in heavy breaths, but he told Tom, "I was cold and shaking, but I took some Tylenol and went to bed. My chest hurt, but not this bad."

Tom, having his Army medical training, traded places with me, and very gently took Xavier's T-shirt off him. He pressed very carefully on Xavier's chest, and Xavier whimpered, pushing Tom's hands away. Xavier was shaking hard, his hands clumsy when he reached just to hold onto his T-shirt. I didn't recognize it as his, so I assumed it was Sam's. Xavier coughed suddenly then, and I jumped. Tom thought hard for a moment, and turned to me.

"Can you go get me a towel, please?" He asked me.

"Of course," I said, and then to Xavier I said, "I'll be right back."

I came back to find Xavier hunched over with Tom on the couch next to him, rubbing his back. Xavier's coughing made me cringe, and all I wanted to do was make it better. Of course on Thanksgiving break he'd get frighteningly sick. He was always sick on holidays. It just wasn't Thanksgiving or Christmas (or even Easter) if Xavier wasn't somehow sick. It wasn't even Thanksgiving Day yet, but he was sick. I had a very bad feeling about this sickness though. It wasn't just a cold, or even the flu.

Tom took the towel from me, saying something to Xavier, and Xavier took the towel. He continued to cough while he shakily unfolded the towel. A big cough came on, and he pressed the terrycloth to his face and coughed into it. He was practically crying now, but I didn't blame him. He pressed close to Tom's side, the warmth telling him that someone was there for him. I knelt next to him, carefully laying my hand on his leg. When Xavier's lungs calmed momentarily, he looked to me and the overprotective and loving brother in me took over. I settled on the couch on his other side, gently pulling him into a hug. Tom had taken the towel, and he looked up at me. I was very softly rubbing Xavier's back, whispering to him that he was safe, that I was here, and he was going to be okay. I looked at Tom, and he turned the towel around towards me. I made a face at the yellowy brown mucus on the cloth. I kissed Xavier's head, and he buried his face even more into my chest. It was impossible for him to get any closer, but I knew all he wanted was for me to hold him.

"We need to take him to the ER," Tom said finally, standing. "You sit with him, and I'll be right back."

"What do you think it is?" I asked frantically, my baby brother's back heaving with shallow, labored breathing beneath my hand.

"Bacterial pneumonia. He's got all the symptoms. I promise I'll be right back. Just . . . stay," he said, and dashed away.

"You're going to be okay, baby. I promise. I'm here. I won't leave you." I said this to Xavier over and over like a mantra, but part of it was aimed at myself.

* * *

Tom stood next to the cot while I sat with Xavier on it. He refused to lie down, but he wanted to be as close as possible to me. I was always the one he wanted when he was sick or upset. I would bet anyone any amount of money that when we got home he'd choose me over Sam. I just knew him that well. Sam didn't take offense to it, knowing it was true as well. Xavier's back still expanded and contracted fast and shallowly underneath my arm as he fought for a breath. Tom was creepily calm, but when I tugged him close to my other side by the belt loop of his jeans he smoothed his hand over my hair and smiled sadly at me. He knew how much Xavier meant to me, and having his health in danger upset me even further. I touched Tom's hip, and he looked down at me again. He kissed my forehead, and then kissed Xavier's head.

"Sweetie, pick your head up for us. It'll help a little, I promise," Tom prodded Xavier, and tilted his head up by his chin.

His breathing wasn't much better, but he looked at me and I could see his distress lessen by a fraction by just being able to see me. Tom was getting angrier for every second a doctor wasn't here to make sure my brother was going to be okay. Xavier's phone buzzed in his pocket, and it startled him. He clumsily got it out of his pocket and gave it to me. It was Sam. I answered it.

"Hi, Sam. It's Danny," I said. Xavier laid his head on my shoulder and Tom stroked his hair at his temple.

"Where are you? Where's Xavier?" Sam asked, his voice betraying his anxiety.

"Xavier's with Tom and I. He wasn't feeling well so we brought him to see a doctor." I made it sound better than it actually was.

"So, what you're trying to tell me is that Xavier's sick and you're at the ER?" Sam's tone was annoyed now.

I sighed at him through the phone. Sam and I sometimes butt heads over Xavier, even though we love each other to death. I'm his brother; I know what's best for him. Even better than our parents. I'd practically raised him from infancy.

"Yes, Sam, that is what I'm telling you. I have to go. We'll be home in a little while."

I hung up on him when Xavier started coughing again. Tom and I didn't care if we'd probably get pneumonia being around Xavier this much. I just wanted to comfort him and make him feel at least a little better. Tom and I were both pissed off by the time the doctor came by. Tom was right, Xavier had bacterial pneumonia. We got a prescription for antibiotics for Xavier, and left. Xavier coughed hard the entire time we drove to drop his prescription off and get all of us something to eat. He refused to eat, but we got him to drink some Coke. We wasted time and picked up the prescription before we went home. Sam was waiting for us but Xavier brushed him off and settled on the couch.

"Baby." Sam was hurt but worried about Xavier.

"I'm sorry, Sam. But I just want to lie down," Xavier told him, his voice soft and breathy.

"Okay," Sam said, his voice soft and small.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you on the phone," I apologized to Sam.

"It's okay. I know he prefers you over me when he's sick or even upset. It just annoys me sometimes," Sam explained.

I put my hand on his back. "I'm sorry. I don't ask him to do that."

"I know you don't. He's just too stubborn for us to change him." Sam smiled now, and I kissed his head.

* * *

My family decided against football this Thanksgiving break; instead choosing whiffle ball in the yard space next to the pool. Tom hunkered down on the sidelines in one of my parents' patio chairs, not wanting to make the guy's team any bigger, and watched the game with half amusement and half embarrassment. He had on my huge blue and black check/plaid flannel shirt on over his T-shirt to keep him warm in the chilling air. It swallowed him up but he could easily hide in it from the embarrassing and downright awkward things my family did. Sam sat a few feet from Tom in another chair with Xavier curled up in another chair right next to him. Sam paid more attention to his recovering boyfriend than the game, which was acceptable and kind of obvious. I was playing first base, but I wish I was third so I could be by Tom. Tom whistled for me when I caught the ball Nicole hit. I threw it to my dad who was pitching.

Since the guys had one more player than the girls, without Sam, Xavier, and Tom, we rotated players in. I was almost never rotated out until I finally demanded that I be and sat with Tom. I sat in the patio chair and Tom curled up in my lap. The sleeves of my shirt were way too long, but he left them alone and just laid against me. He peered up at me, his grey eyes big and bright, and I smiled. I pressed my lips to his, the softness of his lips molding against mine. I didn't go back in to play because Tom got very sleepy and wanted to go in. I wasn't going to abandoned him to go to bed on his own, so I said goodnight to my family and carried him into the house. He blushed hard every time I carried him around my family, but they just thought it was adorable.

Tom, after I set him down in our room, dug through his bag to find his pajamas. He pulled out a long-sleeved baseball henley and a pair of clean briefs. He changed quickly, but I got glimpses of his smooth, slightly tan skin. When he was content with his clothes, he crawled into the bed to sit and wait for me. I kissed him softly before touching the underside of his chin and going to my bag. I got a soft, long-sleeved T-shirt out and a pair of boxers, and changed fast so I could get into bed with my husband. Tom had slid back to the pillows and picked up his Nook from the nightstand. I had gotten it for him for his birthday since he loved to read so much. He still loved books, but this way he could easily read on trips down here. I lay down next to the one person I loved more than myself, and he snuggled up to me, his Nook still cradled in his arms. I held him close, pressing soft kisses to the crown of his head and any piece of his forehead I could reach, while he read. His eyelids continued to droop lower and lower until I had to take the eReader from him and turn off the light. I slid us both under the covers—a sheet, fuzzy blanket, and comforter—and he curled up impossibly close to me.

"There," I crooned, stroking his hair away from his beautiful, sleepy face. He swallowed, sniffing quietly, and his eyelids fluttered. "You just need to go to sleep."

Nuzzling his face into the crook of my neck, he sniffed again and sighed heavily as he relaxed. I could easily fall asleep with Tom, safe and dozing, in my arms. Knowing he was protected and at ease, I could relax infinitesimally.

* * *

"You haven't shaved in a couple days. You're not having a mid-life crisis, are you?"

I looked at Aaron, who was clean shaven with Carrie hanging on his arm like always. She and Ashley had that trait to them. I liked them (notice the word choice) enough to accept them, but they were sometimes just a bit too . . . monkey-like. Don't get me wrong, I love it when Tom is clingy and sweet with me since he's my husband, but other people doing that (other than Xavier and Sam) makes me feel weird.

"I'm barely thirty. I can't have a mid-life crisis if I'm not to my mid-life yet. And no, I'm not. I just decided to not shave and see if Tom liked it or not. I think he does, but it's just going to be like this, not a full-out beard. I wouldn't like that," I explained, my arm going around Tom's little waist.

Tom ran his fingertips over my scruffy beard. He kissed me and smiled at the rough feeling against his lips and face. I brushed it over his neck, making him practically squeal and burst into a fit of giggles right there in the kitchen. I kissed his cheek, and he grinned. He ran his fingers through my hair, smiled hugely at me, and wrapped his arms around my neck.

"You guys get so mushy and sentimental about the littlest things. Jeez," Aaron scoffed, and walked over to the table with Carrie trailing behind him.

"They're married, leave them alone. They're allowed to be sentimental and "mushy" about things if they want," Xavier defended us, kissing my cheek and making an indifferent face about my beard.

"Thank you, sweetie. I appreciate that," I told him, and he blushed a little.

Tom and I got something to eat, settling in our usual spots at the table. Tom held my hand under the table, unless one of us needed that hand, and we ate quietly. Tom was finished first, just like pretty much always, and sat back to watch me eat. He nuzzled himself underneath the arm I wasn't using, and I smiled. I kissed his head, continuing to chew some eggs, and reached up to stroke his hair.

"I love you," he purred, burying himself even further into the crook of my arm.

"I love you too," I murmured, kissing his forehead firmly.

I took a sip of sweet tea, and Tom sighed contentedly against my shoulder.


	57. New

_Danny_

Moonlight was the only illumination in the living room Thanksgiving night. Tom sniffled, his face pressed into the crook of my neck, and I brought my hand up to his head. His butt was in the space my legs created being crossed and tucked underneath me; the rest of his body nestled into me. Tears snaked down my neck, and I repressed a shiver. Tom jerked violently when something thumped on the stairs. I tightened my hold on him, pressing his head into my neck to hide his face, and watched the dark stairs intently. I relaxed when I saw my brother and his boyfriend pad down the stairs, Sam's hands hovering anxiously over Xavier. Sam smiled vaguely at us, and I clicked on a dim lamp, knowing I had a headache, Xavier was sick, and Tom was crying.

"Something wrong?" I asked gently, keeping my hands on Tom.

"He was uncomfortable and he wanted something to drink," Sam told me, his hand finally touching tenderly on Xavier's waist.

"Okay. Just call for me if you need anything," I said, and Sam nodded.

Once they were in the kitchen, Tom lifted his head, his face tear streaked and exhausted, and looked at me. I smoothed his hair away from his face, and left a soft kiss on his forehead. He blinked tiredly at me, roughly wiping tears off his cheeks. I caught his hands, putting them on my chest, and wiped away his tears a lot gentler and more comfortingly. He looked at me, his grey eyes dark and pitiful, and a new tear leaked weakly down his cheek. I leaned forward, kissing it away. He smiled miserably, and shifted in my lap to face me more fully. We were both in our pajamas; having been roused prematurely from a deep sleep by Tom's anguished cries. Tom had fallen asleep in a pair of socks, even though he hated to sleep in socks, and when he shifted one of his socks twisted on his foot. He looked at it, fixing it, and I brushed my knuckles down his soft cheek. He looked at me then, and cracked a little bit of a smile.

"Baby, what was your dream about?" I asked him, my voice a coaxing croon.

His resulting sob/sniffle was heartbreaking, and he cupped my face in his shaking hands. I looked at him, his eyes flickering as if he couldn't hold them still, and he stroked his thumbs over my cheekbones.

"Guess."

That was all he said before tears spilled down his cheeks at an alarming rate. His breathing was heavy, but he remained there in my lap, staring at me.

"I'm sorry." He started to apologize. As if having a nightmare was his fault and I was blaming him. "I'm so so sorry."

He collapsed into my arms, and I gripped him so tightly to my chest.

"It's not your fault. I'm not blaming you. You can't help it," I told him, my voice stern to get my point across but gentle to soothe him.

My head pounded obnoxiously but my husband was falling to pieces in my arms. Tom kept quiet when Xavier and Sam passed by us again, but once they were upstairs he pushed me away to wail into the throw pillow down at the other end of the couch. He lay on his stomach, sobbing into the pillow, with his feet in my lap. I lay my head on the back of the couch, a relentless throbbing in my temples, and rested my hands on Tom's feet. His toes curled and I noticed he'd gone quiet. I stroked the soft bottoms of his feet, and he jerked a little. I knew he was ticklish there (as was Xavier and I) but I wasn't trying to tickle him. As the ticklish feeling subsided, he relaxed and let me continue to run my fingertip up and down the bottom of each foot. It was quiet; I'd turned off the lamp, and he was exhausted from crying. My soothing caresses were quickly putting him to sleep. He stopped fidgeting uncomfortably, settled on his belly, and let out a soft breath. I was glad he was asleep now, but I just hoped it wouldn't result in another nightmare.

The night dragged on. I watched infomercials, any okay TV show that came on, and just about anything else I could find. Tom woke up a little bit once during the night, and shifted to lay his head in my lap. I was kind of stuck now with my husband laying on me, but I really didn't want to wake him up. He really needed to sleep. My head still hurt like no other, but I couldn't do anything. It was around five-thirty when Xavier snuck downstairs.

"Where's Sam?" I asked him, my hand unconsciously stroking through Tom's messy hair.

"Asleep. I snuck away from him so I wouldn't have to deal with him. He's so clingy when I'm sick," Xavier said, smirking when I raised an eyebrow at him.

He leaned down for me to kiss his cheek, and I felt Tom stir in my lap. When Xavier padded away sluggishly, Tom sat up, rubbing at his face.

"Hey, sweetie," I cooed, pulling him closer for a soft kiss.

He smiled, rested and forgetful of the night's earlier events, and gave me a kiss.

_**-o-**_

When we got home from Thanksgiving, we got a letter telling us that Calix and Simon had moved. Tom and I decided to go check out their new house and help them settle in. When we pulled up to the address in Tom's Jeep, we were met with a moving truck and a huge farmhouse mansion. Calix walked down the steps of the giant porch, and grinned, waving. Simon peeked out the front door, and smiled, joining Calix on the steps.

"Welcome to our new home! You like it?" Calix called to us as we got out of the Jeep.

"I love it! It's beautiful!" Tom called back, hopping out of the Jeep.

We walked up the long gravel driveway and met Calix and Simon at the bottom of the stairs. Simon looked tired and flushed, but Calix was eager to show us around. It was an actual farm with their mansion, a barn, a caretaker's house, a pool, and a gigantic vegetable garden. It was amazing. Simon had always wanted a farm so Calix, wanting Simon to have everything he ever wanted, caved and they moved. Calix pulled Simon close to him, signed something to him, and kissed his forehead. Simon snuggled closer to Calix's chest for a moment, pressing close for a hug, and then left his side. When Calix showed us the den, Simon had kicked off his Crocs and stretched his thin body out on their couch. His eyes were closed and I'm pretty sure he was already asleep. Calix smiled, brushing his fingertips over the top of Simon's foot as we past, and showed us the kitchen. By the time we'd trekked all over the entire farm and come back to the house, Tom and I needed a nap and Simon was up. He was in the kitchen making a sandwich, and looked up when we came in. He gave a little wave, and Calix went over to him. Calix's arm automatically wound around Simon's tiny waist, and he kissed Simon's cheek. Simon was flushed from sleep, his loose, curly blond hair messy. His curls weren't tight and defined like mine, but loose and almost wavy instead of curly. Calix ran his fingers back through Simon's hair, making his husband sigh and nuzzle closer to him.

"He loves that. It feels really good to him because he's so keen on touch. He just loves to be close to me," Calix crooned, his lips pressing firmly against his husband's forehead.

Simon smiled, his face relaxed, and Calix very gently tilted his head back for him to look at him. Simon's eyes were closed, but when he felt Calix's lips brush over his pinked cheekbone he peeked out at him, and smiled. Simon ate his sandwich with Calix clinging to his waist and kissing his neck while talking to us.

"You two look exhausted. I think you should go home and sleep for a lo-o-ong time," Calix teased us, his lips pursing against his husband's lithe neck.

"I think I may have to listen to you for the first time _ever_," Tom groaned, laying his head on my chest.

"Poor baby," I cooed, smiling and kissing Tom's head.

"Shut up," he mumbled into my chest, his words muffled.

I laughed, rubbing his back. I leaned down then, and he looked at me. "Come here." I swung him into my arms, and he stiffened.

"Oh jeez. Relax, Tom. Like we really care if Danny's carrying you. Look, Simon loves for me to carry him," Calix said, bending down and knocking Simon's legs out from under him. Simon made a squeaking sound, holding onto his sandwich and Calix simultaneously.

We all laughed, and Calix kissed Simon's forehead.

"You're such a good sport," he said against Simon's forehead.

Simon just smiled, and took another bite of his sandwich. Calix sat him on the counter, and he wrapped his legs around Calix's waist, pulling him closer with a coy smile. Calix laughed, kissing Simon's jaw.

"We'll leave you two to . . . that," I joked, and noticed Tom starting to doze off in my arms.

Calix and Simon walked with me to the door, both kissing Tom's forehead and Calix made an 'aww' sound at my sleepy husband, and waved when I started to pull out of their huge driveway.

**_-o-_**

Though Tom could always pass as adorable, cute, and endearing, he was very good at being sexy, arousing, and just plain hot. He was thin with lean muscles since his days out of the Army had made him relax more than hit the gym; he was anything but out of shape though. His waist, almost like Sam's, was tiny and so easy to wrap my arm around. He was almost completely smooth except for his, almost not noticeable, "happy trail" that led down to . . . well you know. His legs were strong and gorgeous. His back was lean and it curved perfectly; he loved for me to scratch or rub the small of his back. His ass was absolutely perfect, no room for argument. He didn't mind for me to run my hands over his bottom even if we weren't doing anything near sexual. But we had to be alone if it was a little more than friendly touches that a normal couple would do. His cock was another story of its own. It wasn't immensely thick or long like he described mine as, but it was beautiful. It was the perfect size for his tiny frame, and I loved it. I could very easily give him head without setting off my gag reflex. I didn't have a sensitive gag reflex . . . anymore. But that's beside the point.

I sat, my huge frame sprawled on the couch, and Tom stood in front of me. I was in my underwear already, but he was still in his pajamas. It was early evening; we'd been in our pajamas all day and stayed inside to just relax. He swallowed, his cheeks turning pink, but I just smiled encouragingly. He'd been the one who wanted to strip for me. I knew he'd get shy on me, but I just wanted to see if he could do this. He was so absolutely handsome that I really wanted to see this. If he couldn't go through with it, I'd just pull him onto my lap and make love to him anyway. I didn't need him to be sexy and alluring for me to love him. But he picked his head up, I smirked, and he pulled his T-shirt off slowly as he turned around to put his back to me. I bit my lip, and watched him intently. Ugh, his ass was so perfect. He peeked at me over his shoulder and I winked at him. He blushed and tossed his T-shirt onto the pile of my clothes. His pajama pants were the next to go. I groaned softly when he bent over to pull the pants down, and lay my head on the back of the couch. He turned around and climbed into my lap, smiling seductively. His smile disappeared, and he blushed hard.

"Don't tell me how bad that was," he whimpered, and I chuckled.

"Honey, you're not a professional stripper. I'm not going to judge you based on how well you can strip for me. I thought it was just fine considering I really just want to get you underneath me," I told him, and he smiled, blushing.

"Thanks," he whispered.

I held onto his waist, pulling him against me.

"Now," I murmured. "Let's see just how excited you were to get in my lap."

He giggled nervously, and gasped when my hand found his crotch. His obvious erection strained against the tight confines of his white briefs. He bit his lip, watching my hand as I slipped a few fingers into the waistband of his underwear.

_To Be Continued… See _All For Love _for continuation_


End file.
